Is It Wrong Not To Support This Wedding?

I saw this comment by an anonymous reader and didn't know what to say so I didn't reply. Can anyone help with advise please:

Good morning everyone. My sister is getting married soon but am not happy. My sister met a young man and they started a relationship. Introduction was fixed and a wedding date. The church demanded for a HIV test and the man tested positive. 

My sister is negative. We all now kicked against the wedding. But she insisted. That nothing is going to change her mind she must marry this guy. 

We all thought maybe she has been exposed to the virus that's why she wants to marry him. 4months after she took another test still negative. 2 months after that still negative. But my sister still insists on marrying him. 

I know HIV is
not a death sentence there are others worse than this.(Able) but am wondering why my sister wants to go thru all of the pains and tears this will bring. Her wedding is in 2weeks time. And preparation is going on. But its more like a funeral than a celebration. 

Now my question is. Is it wrong to be this sad and not in support of this wedding even though I can't do anything?
He contracted this disease before meeting my sis. Thru an ex or flings.

Comments

  1. Hmmmmm! All I cld do wen I read this comment, was sigh. I still dnt knw wot to advice. Dis is a very tough one.
    www.makeupcubicle.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous9/14/2014

      Mama's in d house pls am so worried and scared.. Am preggy with my 2nd baby and almost due. Each time i rem †ђ3 pains i passed tru †ђ3 first time, †ђ3 episiotomy and all, ℓ̊ become afraid.. Is this normal? What can ℓ̊ do? Thanks

      Delete
    2. My dear,u don't need to be worried at all cos na u born the first one,just bear in mind that all that pain will completely go away as soon as the baby comes out abi u never see person way born 9?

      Delete
    3. If you have advised her and she is head strong then please let her be. All the HIV cases we are having, do you honestly believe they will not get married? I am sure your sister knows what she is getting herself involved with. HIV is not what you want to get yourself involved with but at the same time, it is not a death sentence. HIV positive women give birth to healthy children with the right treatment and proper care. HIV patients on their drugs coupled with healthy lifestyle get to live long and happy lives. We are just living one day at a time by his grace. It is a healthy person who gets on a bus and can have an accident on the highway. Anything can happen to the so called healthy persons while those you think don't have long to live go on to live healthy and well. Some of you talking and writing God forbid here, when last did you check your status?

      So in a nutshell as long as your sister is mature and is of sound mind, let her be. Pray for her and support her. You dont know where she has gone and received counselling and what have you.

      Please read the story on my blog ''choice and consequence'' and get a good understanding of this virus. God bless everyone.

      http://musingsfromabrokenjar.wordpress.com/

      Delete
  2. Really short of what advice to give on this. Its so complicated.

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  3. Oro pa e si je!
    If your sister isn't jazzed abeg be happy for her.
    Afterall, it's her life not yours.
    Since she is happy with her choice, den make una join her celebrate.

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  4. I'm sorry that your feel this way. It's pretty sad.If I were in your position and my sister was getting married to an HIV positive man, I would have a heart to heart talk with her. She is putting herself and her future children at risk of becoming HIV positive too.

    If they get married, eventually she may contract the disease and pass it on to her unborn children. Since she is insistent on getting married to him, educating her and praying for her are your only options. There are steps that she can take to lower her risk of contracting the disease. She will have to take medicine everyday to help prevent the disease as well as use condoms. I suggest she talk to her doctor about protecting herself and her unborn children before she has unprotected sex with him again.

    Please if you need educational information, let me know and I will send you some.

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  5. This is complicated, find out if they have a blood covenant.

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  6. Anonymous9/14/2014

    Ahn ahn, your family should not let this happen pls. You owe your sisterb a duty to protect her at this time. Warn the man o. Threaten him to leave your sister alone and go marry another HIV positive lady cos that is how I see it being done.

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  7. Anonymous9/14/2014

    Thanks aunt Eya 4 posting this. I didn't send Ʊ a mail cos am trying 2 protect my sis. I have done everything but nothing is stopping my sis. We have prayed. But my sis keep saying God can heal him, that we are not good christians 4 stigmatizing the man. And that she is in love with him. Bla bla bla. I have even asked the man why does he wants 2 put my sister thru all of this? All he said was he loves her and will do everything 2 protect her. My sister reads this blog. And am sure she must have seen this post. Please help me beg my sister its not 2 late 2 call it off. I know its her life but she is family and I love her. Marriage is 2 be enjoyed not been cautious every single day. Thank you.
    POSTER

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous9/14/2014

      YOUR SISTER HAS BEEN BEWITCHED!!! ISNT IT OBVIOUS??! PLEASE GET SPIRITUAL HELP FOR HER AND SAVE HER A LIFE TIME OF MISERY... SHE MIGHT HATE YOU FOR NOT HELPING HER WHEN THE SCALES FALL OFF HER EYES!!! I SUGGEST DELIVERANCE ASAP... IF SHE SAYS IT'S GOD'S LEADING, LET THERE BE A CONFIRMATION FROM A SEASONED MAN OF GOD. OUR GOD IS NOT THE AUTHOR OF CONFUSION...

      Delete
    2. Anonymous9/14/2014

      There cannot be a wedding celebration without family members support and presence... your family is wrong for supporting this union. if you all turn your back on her and give no support, there won't be a wedding, she will be forced to call of the relationship, she will be hurt for a while, but will get over it. I also believe she has been bewitched. Pls don't let your family aid your sister in securing an early grave for herself.

      Delete
  8. Anonymous9/14/2014

    Please ask yourself this question, if the situation was reversed and your sister was the one with HIV and the man's family treated her as you are treating him how would you feel? People with HIV also deserve love and happiness. What you should do rather is make sure your sister goes to HIV counsellor and gets proper advise on how to protect herself an children from getting it. luckily medicine has developed and there are ways to protect herself and kids and ensure the husband lives long.

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    1. And so,what if the reverse Is the case do u think the man in question will even think of befriending the lady? My dear pooster I think u should hv an evidence to show ur sister that u warned her before she enter into that hole cos she will hate u if her eyes clears if u don't prove u warned her,that's all I can say cos I don't think u can do anything to make her stop,is well. Back for long(grammer)

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    2. Anonymous9/14/2014

      Since ur sis is negative why put herself in such a situation? Marriage has its up and down already and she wants 2 add dis to it? Na wao! So she wants 2 leave d rest of her life been 2 cautious and all dat, and in future d man will end up giving her d virus and even d kids, I pray her eyes clears b4 she enters into wat she will regret in future

      Delete
  9. My dear, your sister's mind is made up. I hope they are both armed with real facts and info about how to live a mixed HIV status life. Playing the typical religious imprudence card that God will heal him is not the only way to go.

    It's a tough life ahead; demanding and expensive. I can only hope she is prepared. Are they ready to never let their guards down when being intimate with each other? Even in their day to day lives? Will they have their own children? Will they adopt?

    I give it to her, she is brave! But again, I sincerely hope they are prepared.

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  10. Anonymous9/14/2014

    Ur sis thinks love will help her when d reality of living with a hiv positive person stares at her, marriage itself is complicated and u want 2 add dis 2 it? Smh!

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  11. Anonymous9/14/2014

    Actually I am sick and tired of some of these things, it is either you are AS genotype and have to look for someone with AA to mary (MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE INDEED). You will never ever feel LOVE all your life. Now HIV Positive (SO WHAT). They have been dated and sure they might had have slept with each other all these while and she is still negative., LOOK, what will be will be. Your sister could contract this from helping an accident victim or any form. I am sick and tired of people declaring HIV positive brothers and sisters DEAD even when they are alive. It could be you or anyone. It sucks, leave them alone. Even flights do fall and disappear. A BRIEF HAPPY LIFE IS WORTH MORE THAN A LONG PAINFUL AND UNHAPPY LIFE.

    Rescue: Ghana

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  12. Wow! This is very dicey, i hope your Sis, has considered the consequences of her. Actions and is ready to deal with them when they show up. I understand, love can be Intoxicating and seeing that she is a believer, there is nothing impossible for God to do(as regards the mans health), can she withstand the warfare?

    As madam Flo rightly said, the task ahead is huge and very very demanding, i Salute her courage likewise, but is her love strong enough to stand the test of time? Kia poster ur sis you get mind Sha...
    As for your concerns poster, you are not wrong, i would be even more worried. But she is an adult, i hope her eyes are clear.
    Pls if you ever read this, i Would say a prayer for you, for divine direction, open eye and healing.
    Am out

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous9/14/2014

      Spot on, but u forget to Tell her not to put the lord, her God to test. Pls dont go into the marriage

      Delete
  13. Tough one. I pray your sister doesn't regret her decision. A word is enough for the WISE.

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  14. Anon 7:15 pm, there is nothing you can do about delivery pain o. It's normal na, who likes pain. Keep your mind busy with other thoughts and prayer ok. All will be alright by his grace.
    You can opt for an epidural delivery if you like.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous9/15/2014

      Thanks aunt Eya.. Am asking God for grace.

      Delete
  15. Anon 5;20 pm, please don't make me laugh on this very serious post. Bewitched by who? Which man has time to bewitch?

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  16. I have heard that there are people who can never contract HIV. Watched a program on TV that these people have a kind of gene or something that cannot receive that virusb so even when exposed to the virus, they cannot get infected. The Doctor says such people do not even know it themselves.

    I watched this on TV long ago sha, don't know how true that is. That doesn't mean I'm saying your sister is one of those people, only God knows. I just remembered it while reading these wonderful comments and had to add.

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  17. Anonymous9/14/2014

    Poster. ..let it go.
    A lot of you are sanctimonious but you don't believe Jesus heals.
    Don't test the lord your God...where did you see that Scripture.
    Your sister can have hiv negative children...there is a drug that will be prescribed to her once a day before she gets pregnant.
    There are so many method of conception
    I know you want protect your sister but her protection comes from God.
    Who would ever believe that some people will survive Ebola but it happened.

    XOXO MYSTERY

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous9/15/2014

      When the devil me jesus @the mountain, what was his response? Eeeh answer. Does it mean, jesus could not jump down unhurt? Or turn stone to bread? Yet he resisted the devil. We all know Jesus could turn stone to bread and even add sardine ontop. Bet he refused to try his father.
      Let us leave God outa dis plz.

      Delete
  18. Anonymous9/14/2014

    All you can do is to educate her about the risk involved.
    Let her go to Google and really learn the risk and method of prevention.
    Then leave her in Gods hand.
    The reason this virus is spreading fast is because of discrimination. You discriminate against them and they go and spread it out of anger. Your sister is preventing some poor girl out there from being infected if she dumps that guy.

    God please protect us.

    XOXO MYSTERY

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  19. CHEESSYGOODNESS9/15/2014

    The question here shld be,is the Man ur sista's want to marry her own rightful husband frm God?coz d worst mistake any woman will make is marrying someone else husband.(That's making d wrong choice)
    2). Ur sista said that u pple are not real xtain and that God will heal him.I knw God does the immposibilties and he is the Greatest Physician and will always heal his Children But pls tell ur sista to wait and let God heal him first b4 they wed,For God will always Heal his own!He has never been an author of confusion.

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  20. Anonymous9/15/2014

    My sister and her hubby got married 2yrs ago without knowing her status by then she was already 5 months pregnant. A week after the wedding she decided to go register for anc and found out she was hiv positive. Her husband went for test and was negative. Her husband loves my sister to bits. Guess what? Her husband told her to keep it as a secret. They went for counseling, she had her child very healthy boy and hiv negative too. Up till now her husband loves her and they don't joke with each other. They don't even know I know their huge secret. My dear poster, live and let live. Be happy for your sister. In addition to her faith let the couple work around their health status which am sure they are doing already.

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  21. bluebell9/16/2014

    With advancements in modern medicine, HIV is no longer the death sentence it once was. Hence you see people who have been living healthily with the virus for more than 20 years, e.g. Magic Johnson.At least she is armed with the facts and if they wish to proceed with marriage, they would be wise to take all medical precaution to maintain a safe sex life and even reproductive life. Lots of drugs, lots of check-ups, lots of funds will be required.Above all, lots of love. Her life, her call.

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  22. Anonymous9/17/2014

    Pls I nid advice good people.I have been married for 4yrs nd believing God for d fruit of d womb,I nd hubby went to ubth nd discovered dat we're both AS,as we didn't check before getting married,

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    Replies
    1. It is well with you dear. You will need to get to the underlying issue why conception has not occurred yet. Afterwards you will need to speak to counsellors and doctors who are well vested in such issues on the way forward in having a child that does not have sickle cell. All the best dear...

      Delete
  23. Anonymous9/17/2014

    I was picking my teeth 2days ago after food,when suddenly d toothpick got broken in my molar tooth,its hurting as I don't know how to get it out,any suggestions,thanks

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  24. Pls see you dentist to remove that toothpick. Don't hurt yourself at home.

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  25. Anon 9:41 PM, after four years of marriage you just discovered you are both AS? What advise do you need now?
    No one can tell you to leave your husband at this time.

    Chai! God will surely help you. Try to make enquiries with very good Doctors to see where Science can help aside aborting SS babies. There is nothing too hard for him.

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  26. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  27. Anonymous9/20/2014

    This is not an issue as long as both are aware.there are many couples out there in same siituation.they should seek appropriate info at the hiv clinic the guy is attending so they can be enlightened on how to keep the lady negative yet give birth to healthy kids

    ReplyDelete

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