What Can I Do About Hubby's Stinginess And That Lady?


pls I have a challenge below. publish on ur blog. pls hide my identity, thnks.
I have been married for a year now.
tried talking about my trust for him. i told him outrightly that he does/shows things that makes me doubt him and then i told him to EARN my trust for him. How do I trust him again? 
1. I dont trust my husband at all. 2. A particular lady friend of his
has been an issue btw d both of us in the past. I stumbled on messages from her to him/him to her. I asked and he said there's nothing, just raising hopes and flirting. i ignored all that. Last week, I used his phone to send a message and I stumbled into a msg from that same girl sending her account number. One of the things that attracted my husband to me is that I never disturbed him regularly for money. I was independent. 

I never saw it as a big deal but I felt at the same time that every man should be sensitive to his woman's needs. As we got married, I still never bothered him all d time for money but d few times I ask, I was being dribbled, stories up and down.

I sometimes get jobs for him and encourage him and not even at least "thank you/dash you money" from him..lolz..if u women know what i mean. I eventually told him that he shld be try and be sensitive to my needs. 

I don't have to chase
him to give me money for my hair, shopping etc. This issue has escalated even to my extended family that he knew about my younger brother who needed money badly but chose to pay for a ticket for "some wedding and obviously to meet with his girlfriends". 

my family esp my siblings are not happy with him, he chooses to spend on people, (ladies) outside but not his family. Now, what makes me very bitter and has raised d dust on this lady's issue is that He gave her "Green light" and that's why she has the guts to send account Number. I feel so bad. How do I approach this issue. Please no insult, matured advices. Thanks
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Comments

  1. Dear Poster, for d gal to av d guts to send ur husband her account number means dere is sumthing going on between dem. As for ur husband's stingyness, I feel u caused dat ryt from d beginning by giving him d impression dat u are Independent and can take care of all ur needs so u don't need his money.. D solution now is for u to sit ur husband down and av a heart to heart talk with him... Tell him everything on ur mind, don't hold anything back.. Becareful not to get angry and start shouting at him. Talk to him calmly... Don't make d mistake of getting in touch with d gal and trying to deal with her, u will only bring ur husband closer to her.. Ur husband should be d one to handle her... He should be d one to chase her off.. Datz y u really need to talk with him... Pls pray before u do....

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  2. Anonymous7/24/2014

    Who says there has to be something between the man and the girl for him to help her with money. For her to have the guts ....what if the man requested for it.

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    Replies
    1. Anon 6:57AM, y will a married man request for a gal's account no If dere is nothing between dem?? Pls enlighten me more... Remember he is very stingy to his wife....

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    2. I agree with anon 6:57am. That a girl sent her account no or even received money from a married man does not mean they have something or will ever have anything sef. He could have sent her money because she has financial challenges. The problem here is the husband's secretive ways, stinginess to his own wife.
      I'm not totally ruling out that they could have something either.

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    3. Anonymous7/25/2014

      Phrinkles, you need to think beyond your little world. Men and women can be friends as long as it doesn't threaten their relationships with their spouses.
      The only evidence that points to something between the girl and the man is the previous text messages they have exchanged. But to say for her to send her account number is an UNWAVERING evidence is just wrong

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    4. Anonymous7/25/2014

      Phrinkles is very right.Theres no way in dis world a married man wd request an account number from a girl dat is not related 2 him unless he's sleeping wit her.Help ko,help ni.it is not possible.Dat man is so sleeping wit her.Haba!!!!! It's so glaring.Poster,ols juxx talk 2 ur man,ur marriage is too young for all dese drama.All dese girls dat sleep around wit married men r not from good homes.

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  3. Anonymous7/24/2014

    I agree with phrinkies that you caused it for proving independent yinmu. That's why he has money to be spending on other women, like my fellow sisters would say your stingy hubby is some other girls ATM. So madam you need to amend it so that it will get to a point when you list all things needed in the house that he will be thinking where will he get it from to give you. Na you fuck up o. Leave the lady out for now and amend that. Once you have amended that he will not have money to spend outside n the lady will see him as broke married man n keep it moving.
    Never tell him how much you have if he ask you that how much you have if na 1k dey your hand tell am you get 300. Omo you need to be sharp ni o

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  4. Giving is a vital part of every healthy relationship, but being stingy is better than being unfaithful, so I think what you should be more worried about now is if he is being cheating on you with this lady, I think you should have a heart to heart discussion with him, tell him how you feel, also get somebody he respects and listens to, to talk to him
    God is your best friend, and you need to let him know by praying


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  5. Dear Poster,
    You need to forget about the girl. Forget you saw what you saw and stop the assumptions.
    You also need to sit your husband down and reevaluate your marriage. Both of you should set rules for yourself. All these are issues that should have been raised and buried before marriage.
    For your sake and for the sake of your marriage, DO NOT CALL THAT LADY. It is your husband's duty to call her and tell her off if he values your marriage.
    And I will like to know if your husband do have younger ones he has been responsible for. If he doesn't, I see why he prefer to spend outside. Also, he might have a low self- esteem and prefer people praising him outside.
    Put more responsibility on him. ASK HIM FOR ALL YOU NEED including the ones that are not important.
    In all, DO NOT NAG(ask and not nag o), make your home more loving and before you do all these, TELL IT TO GOD!

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  6. Anonymous7/24/2014

    Alloy Chikezie Who says being single is better than being unfaithful?
    MARRY A CRIPPLE
    MARRY A BLIND MAN
    MARRY A DEAF AND DUMB
    BUT, never, never marry a stingy man.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous7/24/2014

      Being stingy

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    2. Anonymous7/24/2014

      lol!!!! i love this.

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    3. @anonymous 11:18am Well that's your own believe or opinion, but you can never be wiser than God, the bible says a man shouldn't divorce his wife except on the ground of sexual immorality (Mathew 5:32). That's to tell you how bad cheating is, that's the only reason the bible gave before one can divorce a partner, it did not say you can divorce when a partner is stingy, an unfaithful husband can do the worse, he will lie to cover his unfaithfulness, he can be domestically violent because he will have no regard for you as a wife again, because he has another woman outside, he can even divorce you to bring his mistress in, he can do and undo, but its not the same for a stingy man. Don't be deceived, your love of money is blinding you to the dangers of cheating partners. Go and ask women who have fallen victim, or who have cheating husbands, they will tell you they would prefer their husband to be stingy than to be unfaithful, except if you don't love your husband, I am not in anyway saying that being stingy is good


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  7. Anonymous7/24/2014

    hello,men are like that, stop giving him business and you should start doing it your self. pls my dear have savings and don't let him no,when ever he asks you for 500 tell him you have 200 and stop doing all the things you do in the running of the house

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