The Chemistry With The New Guy Is Absent With My Fiance.I Still Think I Pressurized Him To Propose

Hi Aunty Eya,
I have edited the inital mail, so you can publish the one below. Thanks for your advice. I'm trusting God for guidance because i get to see the new guy every day at work and colleagues are rooting and even praying we end up together...it's that bad. Find below the revised mail:

I've dated my fiance for a longtime and most of it has been long distanced.
He's everything I want in a man apart from his nagging and egoistical attitude which i really hate...and also hes not an engineer :( #GirlDreams.
After about some long years into the relationship, I made mistakes that nearly cost us the relationship, I started getting close to other guys. This happened because i felt he didn't want to settle down due to the vibes/comments i was getting whenever the issue of marriage came up.

That same period, he proposed and i accepted. Till date i still think I forced his hand to propose.

Now a year plus into the engagement and intro, we are yet to fix date for wedding (We are both comfortable).
Did i mention that there's another guy whom i met during that trying period,he recently came back into the picture.

if given the chance,i could fall for him but due to religion(both christian but diff denominations) ,diff tribes and the fact that I have a fiance(who has done no wrong), i can't encourage him. He really wants to settle down ASAP and only needs me to say YES.

Even if i decide to go with the new person, what reason would i give for breaking up with my fiance?
Right now my heart and brain/head don't seem to agree
Brain/Head says, stay with your fiance, he's got all the attributes you require in a husband, religion and looks.

Heart says, Go for the new guy...he would make you very happy

N.B: The new guy isn't as goodlooking/powerfuldresser/GoodTaste as my fiance. *wonder the attraction*
Also there's a strong chemistry between I and the new guy which is absent/lacking between I and fiance
Should I go with the heart or just go with the head???
Thanks,

Comments

  1. Honestly? Your relationship status is "its complicated" lol. . This is exactly where n when ƴ۵џ shld seek †ђ3 face of the Almighty God. Sis dear, go on ur knees, fast n pray, ask God to direct ƴ۵џ. Marriage aint sometin ƴ۵џ joke with. Goodluck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Looollll, Its not easy oh as Chubi said but I don't think your fiance is into you that much... All the same pray .

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    2. Anonymous5/14/2014

      I agree she really needs to seek the face of God to knw d ryt one. Visit www.mariasdesire.wordpress.com to read on PERFECT PEACE

      Delete
  2. Anonymous5/14/2014

    Dear in issue of marriage u dont compromise or shortchange ur happiness. People call of engagment. Looks, style n whatever makes d list do not make or sustain marriage. Go with who ur heart tells u...like d christian girl i was brought up to b let me add that u also seek d mind of God b4 making ur choice

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  3. Anonymous5/14/2014

    i agree wit ananymous wat abt mind dat has style nd goodlooks?yes diff tribes nd diff denomination but what i faced. the point is u can help him upgrade his style dats not a problem ,as long as he makes u happy and u both understand each oda ,CAN ANY1 WALK TOGEDA UNLESS DEY AGREE?dont marry out of pity ooo pls go on ur knees and tell God to pursue whoever isnt meant to b with u or around u.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/14/2014

      sorry i meant wat abt mine

      Delete
  4. Anonymous5/14/2014

    Pls don't marry the fiance,yet, till you're sure of how you feel about him, and you can't do that with this new guy around. Then this ur new "attraction" how well do you know him, because ladies usually fall for the same guy, but with a different package, pls do rush off just yet take your time to know him and his character because this attraction will not last forever but marriage will.

    www.youngafricanbride.blogspot.com

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  5. Anonymous5/14/2014

    powerful dresser and good looking hmm the one girls will be drooling over especially is money top am. well poster u want to settle down and your fiance does'nt right? have you find out from him why is not keen on settling down? was he from a broken home? was he a happy child while growing up? ( yes cos those that grew up with one parent or witness the trauma his either parent go through in the the hand of the other spouse, such men define marriage as trouble). u have to use tactics when asking the two latter questions ooh. no go stand on his head and ask were your parents divorce, were u a happy child? . start by asking tell me what was growing up like during your childhood? of cause not over an office desk, maybe during an outing or so. as for the second guy do you know hi well enough to want to spend the rest of your life with him? u have two birds in your hands now, seek the guidance of God to know which to let go. good luck.

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  6. Anonymous5/14/2014

    Just lost my sister just 10days after she gave birth...leaving behind 3kids,husband is unemployed,am unemployed,in all I just pity my mom,her eyes has really witnessed a lot..I know God is our strength cos this time is really hard...I just finish crying again,I just feel like talking to someone now..I think I feel a little bit relief...hope you'll having a good day?....cheers

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww! Its well my dear. Sorry abt your loss! May God fill this vacuum in the lives of ur inlaw, nieces/nephews n family. It is well. God is an unquestionable God. Love ƴ۵џ

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    2. hello anonymous 12:05 I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm here to talk if you want. Email me on marynijor@yahoo.co.uk. We can go through it together. God is ur strength

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    3. So sorry for your loss dear.
      God will provide in His time for you and family- do not give up and keep looking around for job opportunities or a means of being gainfully employed no matter how meagre a form the opportunity comes.
      God is your strength.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous5/14/2014

      The lord is ur strength. Just feel like crying now.This phase will also pass in Jesus Name!

      Delete
    5. So sorry my dear, take heart u hear? The Good lord will comfort ur family# I just feel like giving u a hug#. It is well

      Delete
    6. This is sad, so sorry honey….Comfort for your family…Amen!

      Delete
    7. Kity'nymous5/20/2014

      Wow! Accept my sympathy dear. God will strengthen u, her widower, the kids, your mom...the entire family in short. He'll provide for you all. The newborn is a gift from God therefore, he/she will bring sooo much blessings and favour to the family's doorstep. It is well dear

      Delete
    8. Anonymous5/25/2014

      Ha! This is extremely sad for me. God please make a way. Make a way my God.

      Delete
  7. Anonymous5/14/2014

    @poster
    Pls pray abt it and look for qualities that can survive the test of time.
    @anon 12:05 God in heaven will be ur comfort cos he alone knows how u feel.
    My husband has just been told that he can not father a child even though his testosterone levels and LH are ok. We've only been married for a yr and some months. Wat is going on here? I'm in so much pain and we r both in our 20s

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    Replies
    1. Olufunmi5/14/2014

      @ Anon 1:02, whose report do you believe???? we shall believe the report of the lord!!!!. my sister, the lord is your strength. look onto God the author and the finisher of your faith and he shall fight this battle for you. do not be dismayed, smile more and trust in his promises. dont let any family member know ooo.....they may confuse and poison ur mind. keep praying with ur husband, ur testimony time is NOW!!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous5/14/2014

      All hopes are not lost maam ,I'd advise u pray,nd if ur faith carries u can do an iui with donor sperm considering ur age nd if u hv patent tubes.may d Lord wipe tears from ur eyes

      Delete
  8. Anonymous5/14/2014

    @ Poster sounds a bit like my story.met and fell in love wit sm1 4mnth to my wedding after my fiance told me he's dad said he wasn't insupport bc of my trib and dat he wasn't coming wit him to marry me.I met dis guy and and fell head ove heels in love wit him,reason I dnt knw till date......summary of it all is dat I left my fiance and went for him.Four mnths down d road he left me over a very flimsy excuse.I was so broken but am glad I followed my hrt bc d short time we were togeda was beautiful and I saved myself d truama of marrying sm1 I wasn't in love wit anymore.my advice,check n weigh ur options PROPERLY,dnt rush at dis moment,dnt do anytin displease ur selp,go on ur knees and pray

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  9. Anonymous5/14/2014

    Amen!Tnx olufunmi.its anon 1:02

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  10. Fyn Ijebu Chic5/14/2014

    Home is where your heart is...
    Follow your heart.
    Do that which will give u peace.
    I left my ex(we had chemistry and physics between us) for my fiance...
    A year later, I met my ex and I was like ' did I really date this guy?'
    Poster, what I want you to know is that chemistry dies, sparks will go off.
    Question u shd ask ursef is ' Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with either of them?'
    And above all, PRAY. May the peace of the Lord which transcends all be with u!

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  11. Sometimes new sparks can make u feel u are madly in love. And it can also make u feel less for d old one. If u are really sure about the new guy, that z reason enuf for u to leave d old one. But u shld first ask yourself what exactly got u attracted to ur fiance and if its worth it, get back that attraction. Sometimes wen a new person is der, u begin to see all d wrong things in the oda person. Search ur heart...find out what made u stick with ur fiance all this while despite d fact dat oda guys have bin der. D new guy myt not b as wonderful. If u had d spark for d old guy initially and it died, d new spark can also die. Reignite d old spark first before conecting with the new one. Am sure u knw wot to do. Wc fam pls visit www.makeupcubicle.blogspot.com. I'll love to see ur comments.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sometimes new sparks can make u feel u are madly in love. And it can also make u feel less for d old one. If u are really sure about the new guy, that z reason enuf for u to leave d old one. But u shld first ask yourself what exactly got u attracted to ur fiance and if its worth it, get back that attraction. Sometimes wen a new person is der, u begin to see all d wrong things in the oda person. Search ur heart...find out what made u stick with ur fiance all this while despite d fact dat oda guys have bin der. D new guy myt not b as wonderful. If u had d spark for d old guy initially and it died, d new spark can also die. Reignite d old spark first before conecting with the new one. Am sure u knw wot to do. Wc fam pls visit www.makeupcubicle.blogspot.com. I'll love to see ur comments.

    ReplyDelete
  13. sheamapo5/15/2014

    Poster define clearly why you want to marry. Your sincere definition of marriage is a pointer to who you should marry. Forget about getting facts or hints from the blog write ups. Go for what your mind is telling you. For sheamapo natural products and organic ingredients (raw shea butter, organic cocoa butter, pure coconut oil, sweet almond, organic hair booster, organic herbal liquid cream soap). Send email badeji01@yahoo.com / 08138719973
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    ReplyDelete
  14. I wanna make a post,,,,how please?? Thanks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Send it to cuulme@gmail.com and it would be published here.

      Delete
  15. Anonymous5/19/2014

    my dear...sparks fade early...just like those christmas lights dey sell. its better to have a slow burning flame, no matter how small, candle size sef. marry who loves you more, marry who will stay with you. be very careful oo

    ReplyDelete

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