Should I Express My Fears To Him?

Hi aunty Eya, I'm so glad to get to know this blog. It is very educating and highly recommended for both singles and married.
Please I need suggestions from WC family and will be a lot grateful if you post this for me. I want to remain annonymos please.

I am a single lady and will be 30 this August. I have a couple of guys that seemed to like me, 3 of them proposed to marry me but since I don't like any of them for one reason or the other, I rejected the proposals. Meanwhile I am still a virgin and have never been into a very close relationship with a guy before.
Early last year, my friend got me introduced to his friend who resides in Abj while I am in PH. We both started talking. Few weeks afterwards, he said he wanted us to have a relationship that will lead to marriage. I wasn't so comfortable with that and I told him. My reason being that
we barely knew ourselves and talking about marriage that early could lead to pretense in the course of the relationship. He said he knew but that he believed I'm a good girl. He sounded God fearing and still does till now but I have few things bothering me about him. At the initial time we started talking, he would call me morning and night everyday and we talked fairly at length.

Though he's an Engineer, he does a printing work because he hasn't been able to get employed in any firm.
Recently, he started learning a trade he wants to start doing in place of his printing business since according to him, the printing job is capital intensive so he couldn't expand it.
He also told me he wants to see my people this year which I objected to. I told him to first start up something he would be known for before talking about marriage. This, he didn't dispute.

My problem presently is that I feel he economizes a lot. Within the first month we knew ourselves, he would send me #1500 airtime every saturday, but about a month later, he started sending me #200 airtime ones in a while. Presently, he hardly send me airtime any longer.
He once said that I like spending a lot of time on the phone patronizing mtn unnecessarily, so whenever he calls I allow him do the talking but he would end up telling me he called to know how I'm doing and he would end the call in less than 2minutes. This has been on for about a month now.

I visited him one day and two of us went to see my younger sister who also stays in Abj, he didn't buy her anything and as we were leaving, my sister followed us to buy something in the market, as she alighted from the car, I asked him to please give me money to give her for her T- fare back to the house since I didn't come out with my purse, he gave me #50 to give her. My sister reacted a little shocked but didn't make it obvious.

Another instance is that I'm combining my job with a masters degree program and most times I stay off work without pay for about 3months, because of the program, my friends usually wonder how I cope financially, one of them even asked for my account number so he can pay in some money for me but I refused for some reasons, but my friend who says he wants to marry me has never mentioned that to me. Instead he would call at the end of each day to ask me how the lecture went.
One day while in school, I told him that I was just talking with my younger sister and she said she wasn't feeling fine but my credit finished as we were talking, so I needed airtime to call her back, whether he could send me one. He said okay that he would do that when he is less busy, but he later did not. When he called at night I asked him what happened, he said he forgot, that he would do that the next day. I never asked him about the credit again and he never sent it until 4 days later when he sent me #200 airtime.

I kept wondering whether he doesn't really have or that he is raising capital for the new business he wants to start or he is just stingy.

I don't know much about him and we don't really have much to talk about on the phone because he likes short minutes calls added to the fact that we stay far apart. He doesn't use bbm and checks his whatsapp once in a blue moon. I only like the fact that he is God-fearing, at least the much I know him. For example, when I told him I'm a virgin and wouldn't want to indulge in any sexual activity until marriage, he was okay with that and never pressurized me when I visited him.

Please does this guy really love and respect me? Should I tell him my fears about him? I've never asked him for anything though except that airtime. I'm just so confused.

I'm so sorry for the lengthy write up. I'm only trying not to be vague. Thanks for your patience and anticipated responses.

Comments

  1. Anonymous4/10/2014

    Ma'am the only thing I have to say is you shouldn't be asking him for money in the first place!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/10/2014

      My dear, pls FLEE!!!
      1. He's stingy.
      2. He's pretending
      3. He has someone else he's sleeping with. How do I know? While single I had a no of relationships, and no matter how God -fearing the guy was he always had to consciously try not to sleep with me, and I made it easier somehow by insisting on no sex b4 marriage. Talk less of a man in a long distance relationship! I know 30 seems late but pls wait a little longer and the right man will show up.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous4/10/2014

      Pls see his penis, pls pls. I kept mine till 28, and im married to someone with no penis at all.plsssssss im begging you. I cry every day. Only surgery can help him, its like a pinky finger. No sex, he agreed sharp sharp, na wetin my husband do b dat, christian brother they said. his finger is bigger than his penis.

      Delete
    3. Alloy Chikezie4/11/2014

      Wooow! You will be 30 this year and you are still a virgin! The last time I heard that was in the 19th century, I pull of my cap for you, You are awesome

      About your relationship, well for a guy that's gone through a lot, job wise, its understandable when he economise, but in this case, its in excess, like the saying too much of everything is very bad, asking for card is not deemed as "being too demanding from a girl", and in this case, you are still a student, your money is being channelled to something meaningful, its not like you have and asking for credit, and its not a pattern, like you always asking, so money wise, I don't think the relationship is healthy

      Distance relationship, is never the best, wouldn't advice anyone to be a part of one, has a lot of disadvantages, the major one being that it doesn't create valuable time to get to familiarise yourself with the person, and you don't get to spend valuable time which helps the love, emotions and affections grow, it even kills the love many a time especially when their is poor communication like in your case, so your relationship isn't healthy on that aspect also, because their is no spark in it, you guys are not the best of friend, and the relationship is malnurished

      Also there is poor communications between you guys, that he calls at the end of each day to enquire about your welfare for that day, is commendable, but that the calls last just two minutes, is a negative, if a guy is truly in love, credit is the list thing that will cause an obstruction to him having an healthy communication with you, although he might not call all the time and spend trailer loads of minutes talking with you, but once in a while that should be inevitable, since there is the distance and that's the only means you guys can't talk about yourselves, then he must learn to be generous to MTN

      My dear! Marriage is not all about being God fearing, for marriage to survive, apart from grace of God sustaining it, it needs to be lively, its needs to thrive on emotions, even sex in marriage, as interesting as it is, get boring with time, its needs to be fun time and needs emotions to still keep it alive, talk more of relationship or courtship, if you can't see those signs of pure emotions, you don't have near accurate knowledge of the other person, that person doesn't make you happy, all this even when you guys are still dating, then I wonder what will happen when the bond of holy matrimony bring you guys together as one. You might want to tell him how you feel, you guys might want to make out time to talk about the challenges facing the relationship, its not a problem, its a challenge, and the way forward, be wise in doing that, so he will not misinterpret it, so that when the relationship, in doing that you have not turned blind eyes to a challenge facing your relationship, you have played your path in trying to make it work

      Can't tell you to quit your relationship, and can't tell you to stay, the choice is yours, like I said before, the relationship doesn't look healthy to me, but also, age is still not pampering you with friendly smiles, so at 30, "you should know your onions" but irrespective of age, please don't be desperate for marriage, don't rush it, take your time, and that you have not been in a close relationship for close to 30yrs is still, doesn't help either (I am not talking about sex), because your experience with relationship has not been properly pruned to to make way for better judgment in relationship

      Finally, proverbs 3:5-7, never lean on your own understanding, in everything you do, always remember God, always call on him, and he will make your path straight


      Your comment will be visible after approval

      Delete
    4. Hmmmm uncle Alloy, I throway salute. You delivered again.

      Delete
  2. hmm..you cant put love and money together.. but from your story..seems to me you both lack chemistry..i may be wrong but you dont sound happy either...i suggest you see other people that have more qualities you like.. as for him not asking you for sex can be a good thing and also a bad thing..is he having sex with other people at the mean time or he's celibate ?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous4/10/2014

    Sometimes for the fact a man is God fearing dosen't make him a good husband,just like u can't marry every christian brother in church.Check for compatibility and other things. Dats why u see serious born again divorcing.Note am a christian. Be wise. I hate stingy men

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/10/2014

      Look 4 someone who makes u happy

      Delete
  4. Anonymous4/10/2014

    Honestly poster it seems you are trying to settle for this guy. Please dont

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous4/10/2014

    Anon 2:24pm, I want to believe you mean, he should be asking but her welfare enough, to send some money to her without her asking. Her concerns are valid. He seems un-thoughtful. Talk to him about his attitude. If you decide to cope or leave, the choice is your's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/12/2014

      My dear im short of word im datg such a guy but wat suprises me is dat wen he visit he can gv u anytyn u want in dis life but wen he away we r in very lng distance relatnshp he canneva gv me a dime even 50naira credit neva, ve knwn him 4 4yrs n i can say he gvs me just 5k once n it was even d fact dat i complain 2 hm hw stingy he is but i love hm so much

      Delete
  6. Anonymous4/10/2014

    Runnnnnn!!! for your dear life~

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think the relationship ( if indeed you can call it that) is too young and distant for you to be expecting or asking him for money. Most men, I think, who want something serious with you do not put money forward this early in a relationship. I think you should concentrate on determining whether something is growing in your heart for him and what the Lord is saying.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/10/2014

      Dats soooo not true, I tink his nt just thoughtful,long distance r/s + rily short calls naaah dnt see it working.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous4/10/2014

      On addition to this, I think you don't really need to be here asking us all these. All the while I read your mail, I kept wondering to myself, why is she talking to us and not him? Rather than bottling up his "sins" for WC, whenever something comes up, talk to him about it when relaxed.

      Find out why he spends that way. From your write up, he doesn't seem to be so buoyant. But then again, he needs a help mate as a wife not a grumbles. Talk to him.

      Delete
  8. mrs anon4/10/2014

    Yes. The relationship is too young. I don't even see that you guys are in love... If you don't feel anything for him why should you even be asking him for money. First things first. It is when there is a proper love relationship then you can talk about all these other ones..

    ReplyDelete
  9. Fyn Ijebu Chic4/10/2014

    Poster, u are the one in the relationship and u know what is best for u.
    I for instance @ d early stage of our relationship did not ask my fiance for a dime and he doesn't give me. But you should see him with my mum and brothers, he spoil them silly. My mum even thought he gives me much more ...
    When I couldn't take it any longer, I sat him down and told him how I felt and his reply was shocking... He said he was only respecting my wish, that I once told him that I rather do things myself. And dat once he gave me money to get a new phone and I told him that I'll refund as soon as I have, which I did. So, he decided not to bother again.
    I am not saying this is the case with you,
    I think you should sit him down and express ur fears,
    He might not have as much as he did,
    And d initial spending spree might be 'karamo'
    Sit him down, talk things out and do your own investigation,
    P:S, if u do not feel anything for him, pls do both of you a favour and walk!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous4/10/2014

    Hello poster,
    First of all, let me commend you for waiting this long and not having sex. I am a xtian and know that's d right way to go.

    Now, abt ur friend, u need to ask him questions. Some questions might include, y he wants to settle down n what it means to him 2 be a husband.

    Ask these questions n more 2 truly determine if he's got what you want in a husband.

    Don't be in a rush n settle for less or anybody coz u feel time is running out.

    Remember, you want your marriage 2 work out, and u want to be happy.

    Don't be afraid to speak with anybody u are in a relationship with 2 truly understand d person.

    Personally, I know one of the responsibility of a husband is to provide or atleast Want to provide. And as long as ure not making unnecessary demands anybody that ure in a relationship with should be willing or atleast show concern for your needs- be it physical, emotional, financial or otherwise.

    I wish u Gods favour as u make this all important decision in ur life. #ehugs#

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SECONDED!!
      PS: Run for your life if you discern that he is insensitive to your needs. Yes he might not have a lot of money but generosity has never been determined by how much a person has but how much he/she is willing to give. Don't buy the gist that men are hard to come by and settle for someone who will make you miserable. There are broad shouldered men everywhere. Don't be afraid. Just know that men change for the worst when they marry so if you are not happy now you will be miserable later.

      Delete
  11. •omalicha•4/10/2014

    This is what I have to say, RUN. he doesn't have probably, but can't he at least, enquire about your welfare?"the only thing you like about him is the fact that he is a Christian, the only thing?and you have even agreed that he should come to see your parents, why? Do u even love each other at all? Cant you jokingly suggest to him, that haba my love you didnt even ask me how I have been coping this past month....something like that. For better for worse o! You heard the othee poster complaining that his wife is very stingy. Nobody likes a stingy person.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/12/2014

      She doesnt consider him 'her love' actually... Dunno how that works

      Delete
  12. Anonymous4/11/2014

    Poster u sound like a nag; sorry to say.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/11/2014

      She aint nagging! Its obvious that the guy is not caring! People meet d best guy as dia first bf who inturn becomes d good husband! Odas meet so many bad eggs b4 they finally meet d gud 1! Dis is an experience 4 her,she shd make d best from it! Pls poster dnt settle 4 less

      Delete
  13. Wooow! You will be 30 this year and you are still a virgin! The last time I heard that was in the 19th century, I pull of my cap for you, You are awesome

    About your relationship, well for a guy that's gone through a lot, job wise, its understandable when he economise, but in this case, its in excess, like the saying too much of everything is very bad, asking for card is not deemed as "being too demanding from a girl", and in this case, you are still a student, your money is being channelled to something meaningful, its not like you have and asking for credit, and its not a pattern, like you always asking, so money wise, I don't think the relationship is healthy

    Distance relationship, is never the best, wouldn't advice anyone to be a part of one, has a lot of disadvantages, the major one being that it doesn't create valuable time to get to familiarise yourself with the person, and you don't get to spend valuable time which helps the love, emotions and affections grow, it even kills the love many a time especially when their is poor communication like in your case, so your relationship isn't healthy on that aspect also, because their is no spark in it, you guys are not the best of friend, and the relationship is malnurished

    Also there is poor communications between you guys, that he calls at the end of each day to enquire about your welfare for that day, is commendable, but that the calls last just two minutes, is a negative, if a guy is truly in love, credit is the list thing that will cause an obstruction to him having an healthy communication with you, although he might not call all the time and spend trailer loads of minutes talking with you, but once in a while that should be inevitable, since there is the distance and that's the only means you guys can't talk about yourselves, then he must learn to be generous to MTN

    My dear! Marriage is not all about being God fearing, for marriage to survive, apart from grace of God sustaining it, it needs to be lively, its needs to thrive on emotions, even sex in marriage, as interesting as it is, get boring with time, its needs to be fun time and needs emotions to still keep it alive, talk more of relationship or courtship, if you can't see those signs of pure emotions, you don't have near accurate knowledge of the other person, that person doesn't make you happy, all this even when you guys are still dating, then I wonder what will happen when the bond of holy matrimony bring you guys together as one. You might want to tell him how you feel, you guys might want to make out time to talk about the challenges facing the relationship, its not a problem, its a challenge, and the way forward, be wise in doing that, so he will not misinterpret it, so that when the relationship, in doing that you have not turned blind eyes to a challenge facing your relationship, you have played your path in trying to make it work

    Can't tell you to quit your relationship, and can't tell you to stay, the choice is yours, like I said before, the relationship doesn't look healthy to me, but also, age is still not pampering you with friendly smiles, so at 30, "you should know your onions" but irrespective of age, please don't be desperate for marriage, don't rush it, take your time, and that you have not been in a close relationship for close to 30yrs is still, doesn't help either (I am not talking about sex), because your experience with relationship has not been properly pruned to to make way for better judgment in relationship

    Finally, proverbs 3:5-7, never lean on your own understanding, in everything you do, always remember God, always call on him, and he will make your path straight


    Your comment will be visible after approval

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous4/11/2014

    poster. U are a gd girl. Am 33 stil a virgin! Pls dnt loose it. 2. Pray hard b4 marryn this man. Dnt rush into marriage. U can tell ur pastor to pray abt it. Let God direct u. If u stil dnt have peace abeg run.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous4/11/2014

    Does he stay in main market onitsha,resides in onitsha or around onitsha?then forget it cos they are the stingiest pple u can eva come across.they might not be stingy but wld hardly gv u a dime if u are not already there wife.girlfriends dnt spend there money

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/12/2014

      Those u met are stingy. †he kinda guys u met/like are d same, sorry.

      Delete
  16. Anonymous4/11/2014

    Babes s/1 dat wants 2 marry u shuld hv engaged u in all kinds of talk if u knw what I mean. You guys shuld b free wiv each other bt these 2min callz wuldnt let u so u need 2 look for ao 2 gt free calls on woteva netwrk so u cn talk more. You need 2 chat about life issues like knwin about ur in-laws, sex money,babies dreamz nd aspirations etc. You shuld initiate d talk if he isn't willing + u gat options of money, sex, looks, godfearing, commitment nd so many options 2 choose from b4 marrying cos afta marrying the cross is for u 2 bear nd u cnt blame anyone for ur luck or misfortune either way so b wise. Personally, I dnt like long dist. Relatnship cos its usually filled wiv lies nd pretence so if dis dis one doesn't work pls gt s/1 closer 2 u nd dnt b telling dat u r stll a virgin cos it will only attract ants 2wards u
    This guy u r wit ao old is he? R u willing 2 wait 4 him 2 b established? If u gt a gud job r u willing 2 spend for him? Is he egoistic? All these add up cos if he neva makes it on time nd u r d bread winner, he cn mk ur life a misery.u r naïve cos u hvnt eaten d adams apple bt u r matured so dnt let dat ur naïve be-cloud u! U need 2 ask ur spouse questions bt b wise about it bt dnt let it b about money. Wots ur instinct telling u? Cos instincts cnt be wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  17. 1 word my darling FLEE. This guy is not good news.being God fearing doesn't necessarily make 1 a good person. Meanwhile I don't know why but he sounds like a dominating and abusive person who will show his real colour when and if u settle with/for him.and also he sounds like some1 who will get intimidated with your level of education or earning if you get a better payin job and look for a way to stop u from working.dear pls don't be Naive.

    Www.styltix.com

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous4/11/2014

    Babes s/1 dat wants 2 marry u shuld hv engaged u in all kinds of talk if u knw what I mean. You guys shuld b free wiv each other bt these 2min callz wuldnt let u so u need 2 look for ao 2 gt free calls on woteva netwrk so u cn talk more. You need 2 chat about life issues like knwin about ur in-laws, sex money,babies dreamz nd aspirations etc. You shuld initiate d talk if he isn't willing + u gat options of money, sex, looks, godfearing, commitment nd so many options 2 choose from b4 marrying cos afta marrying the cross is for u 2 bear nd u cnt blame anyone for ur luck or misfortune either way so b wise. Personally, I dnt like long dist. Relatnship cos its usually filled wiv lies nd pretence so if dis dis one doesn't work pls gt s/1 closer 2 u nd dnt b telling dat u r stll a virgin cos it will only attract ants 2wards u
    This guy u r wit ao old is he? R u willing 2 wait 4 him 2 b established? If u gt a gud job r u willing 2 spend for him? Is he egoistic? All these add up cos if he neva makes it on time nd u r d bread winner, he cn mk ur life a misery.u r naïve cos u hvnt eaten d adams apple bt u r matured so dnt let dat ur naïve be-cloud u! U need 2 ask ur spouse questions bt b wise about it bt dnt let it b about money. Wots ur instinct telling u? Cos instincts cnt be wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous4/11/2014

    Babes s/1 dat wants 2 marry u shuld hv engaged u in all kinds of talk if u knw what I mean. You guys shuld b free wiv each other bt these 2min callz wuldnt let u so u need 2 look for ao 2 gt free calls on woteva netwrk so u cn talk more. You need 2 chat about life issues like knwin about ur in-laws, sex money,babies dreamz nd aspirations etc. You shuld initiate d talk if he isn't willing + u gat options of money, sex, looks, godfearing, commitment nd so many options 2 choose from b4 marrying cos afta marrying the cross is for u 2 bear nd u cnt blame anyone for ur luck or misfortune either way so b wise. Personally, I dnt like long dist. Relatnship cos its usually filled wiv lies nd pretence so if dis dis one doesn't work pls gt s/1 closer 2 u nd dnt b telling dat u r stll a virgin cos it will only attract ants 2wards u
    This guy u r wit ao old is he? R u willing 2 wait 4 him 2 b established? If u gt a gud job r u willing 2 spend for him? Is he egoistic? All these add up cos if he neva makes it on time nd u r d bread winner, he cn mk ur life a misery.u r naïve cos u hvnt eaten d adams apple bt u r matured so dnt let dat ur naïve be-cloud u! U need 2 ask ur spouse questions bt b wise about it bt dnt let it b about money. Wots ur instinct telling u? Cos instincts cnt be wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous4/11/2014

    Babes s/1 dat wants 2 marry u shuld hv engaged u in all kinds of talk if u knw what I mean. You guys shuld b free wiv each other bt these 2min callz wuldnt let u so u need 2 look for ao 2 gt free calls on woteva netwrk so u cn talk more. You need 2 chat about life issues like knwin about ur in-laws, sex money,babies dreamz nd aspirations etc. You shuld initiate d talk if he isn't willing + u gat options of money, sex, looks, godfearing, commitment nd so many options 2 choose from b4 marrying cos afta marrying the cross is for u 2 bear nd u cnt blame anyone for ur luck or misfortune either way so b wise. Personally, I dnt like long dist. Relatnship cos its usually filled wiv lies nd pretence so if dis dis one doesn't work pls gt s/1 closer 2 u nd dnt b telling dat u r stll a virgin cos it will only attract ants 2wards u
    This guy u r wit ao old is he? R u willing 2 wait 4 him 2 b established? If u gt a gud job r u willing 2 spend for him? Is he egoistic? All these add up cos if he neva makes it on time nd u r d bread winner, he cn mk ur life a misery.u r naïve cos u hvnt eaten d adams apple bt u r matured so dnt let dat ur naïve be-cloud u! U need 2 ask ur spouse questions bt b wise about it bt dnt let it b about money. Wots ur instinct telling u? Cos instincts cnt be wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous4/11/2014

    Babes s/1 dat wants 2 marry u shuld hv engaged u in all kinds of talk if u knw what I mean. You guys shuld b free wiv each other bt these 2min callz wuldnt let u so u need 2 look for ao 2 gt free calls on woteva netwrk so u cn talk more. You need 2 chat about life issues like knwin about ur in-laws, sex money,babies dreamz nd aspirations etc. You shuld initiate d talk if he isn't willing + u gat options of money, sex, looks, godfearing, commitment nd so many options 2 choose from b4 marrying cos afta marrying the cross is for u 2 bear nd u cnt blame anyone for ur luck or misfortune either way so b wise. Personally, I dnt like long dist. Relatnship cos its usually filled wiv lies nd pretence so if dis dis one doesn't work pls gt s/1 closer 2 u nd dnt b telling dat u r stll a virgin cos it will only attract ants 2wards u
    This guy u r wit ao old is he? R u willing 2 wait 4 him 2 b established? If u gt a gud job r u willing 2 spend for him? Is he egoistic? All these add up cos if he neva makes it on time nd u r d bread winner, he cn mk ur life a misery.u r naïve cos u hvnt eaten d adams apple bt u r matured so dnt let dat ur naïve be-cloud u! U need 2 ask ur spouse questions bt b wise about it bt dnt let it b about money. Wots ur instinct telling u? Cos instincts cnt be wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Babes s/1 dat wants 2 marry u shuld hv engaged u in all kinds of talk if u knw what I mean. You guys shuld b free wiv each other bt these 2min callz wuldnt let u so u need 2 look for ao 2 gt free calls on woteva netwrk so u cn talk more. You need 2 chat about life issues like knwin about ur in-laws, sex money,babies dreamz nd aspirations etc. You shuld initiate d talk if he isn't willing + u gat options of money, sex, looks, godfearing, commitment nd so many options 2 choose from b4 marrying cos afta marrying the cross is for u 2 bear nd u cnt blame anyone for ur luck or misfortune either way so b wise. Personally, I dnt like long dist. Relatnship cos its usually filled wiv lies nd pretence so if dis dis one doesn't work pls gt s/1 closer 2 u nd dnt b telling dat u r stll a virgin cos it will only attract ants 2wards u
    This guy u r wit ao old is he? R u willing 2 wait 4 him 2 b established? If u gt a gud job r u willing 2 spend for him? Is he egoistic? All these add up cos if he neva makes it on time nd u r d bread winner, he cn mk ur life a misery.u r naïve cos u hvnt eaten d adams apple bt u r matured so dnt let dat ur naïve be-cloud u! U need 2 ask ur spouse questions bt b wise about it bt dnt let it b about money. Wots ur instinct telling u? Cos instincts cnt be wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Babes s/1 dat wants 2 marry u shuld hv engaged u in all kinds of talk if u knw what I mean. You guys shuld b free wiv each other bt these 2min callz wuldnt let u so u need 2 look for ao 2 gt free calls on woteva netwrk so u cn talk more. You need 2 chat about life issues like knwin about ur in-laws, sex money,babies dreamz nd aspirations etc. You shuld initiate d talk if he isn't willing + u gat options of money, sex, looks, godfearing, commitment nd so many options 2 choose from b4 marrying cos afta marrying the cross is for u 2 bear nd u cnt blame anyone for ur luck or misfortune either way so b wise. Personally, I dnt like long dist. Relatnship cos its usually filled wiv lies nd pretence so if dis dis one doesn't work pls gt s/1 closer 2 u nd dnt b telling dat u r stll a virgin cos it will only attract ants 2wards u
    This guy u r wit ao old is he? R u willing 2 wait 4 him 2 b established? If u gt a gud job r u willing 2 spend for him? Is he egoistic? All these add up cos if he neva makes it on time nd u r d bread winner, he cn mk ur life a misery.u r naïve cos u hvnt eaten d adams apple bt u r matured so dnt let dat ur naïve be-cloud u! U need 2 ask ur spouse questions bt b wise about it bt dnt let it b about money. Wots ur instinct telling u? Cos instincts cnt be wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Babes s/1 dat wants 2 marry u shuld hv engaged u in all kinds of talk if u knw what I mean. You guys shuld b free wiv each other bt these 2min callz wuldnt let u so u need 2 look for ao 2 gt free calls on woteva netwrk so u cn talk more. You need 2 chat about life issues like knwin about ur in-laws, sex money,babies dreamz nd aspirations etc. You shuld initiate d talk if he isn't willing + u gat options of money, sex, looks, godfearing, commitment nd so many options 2 choose from b4 marrying cos afta marrying the cross is for u 2 bear nd u cnt blame anyone for ur luck or misfortune either way so b wise. Personally, I dnt like long dist. Relatnship cos its usually filled wiv lies nd pretence so if dis dis one doesn't work pls gt s/1 closer 2 u nd dnt b telling dat u r stll a virgin cos it will only attract ants 2wards u
    This guy u r wit ao old is he? R u willing 2 wait 4 him 2 b established? If u gt a gud job r u willing 2 spend for him? Is he egoistic? All these add up cos if he neva makes it on time nd u r d bread winner, he cn mk ur life a misery.u r naïve cos u hvnt eaten d adams apple bt u r matured so dnt let dat ur naïve be-cloud u! U need 2 ask ur spouse questions bt b wise about it bt dnt let it b about money. Wots ur instinct telling u? Cos instincts cnt be wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous4/11/2014

    I laughed out loud @ he gave your sis 50 naira for t/fare.. Like seriously?? Lmao!!!
    My dear, dat dude isn't for ƴ۵џ, ℓ̊ can say that again and again.. I met my husby online and before we got married, ℓ̊ never really lived with him. Even before we met in person, he wld call me for @ least 10mins @ night and 3 to 4 mins intervals during †ђ3 day. ℓ̊ also never asked for money/airtime and he does give me wella and send 1500 card. Now even if dat dude is raising capital for a business, if he truly cares for u, he wldn't mind spending just a lil on u. Gosh! 50naira t/fare? That was †ђ3 height of it... A̶̲̥̅♏ sure ƴ۵џ even said thank ƴ۵џ on top #smh
    Abeg free dat guy, when ƴ۵џ meet ur God ordained husby, dese aren't †ђ3 questions ƴ۵џ'd be asking.. That guy isn't serious

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mrs T.O4/11/2014

      Are u people judging him on the basis of his financial capability? pls dont cos for all you know he doesn't have much cash to throw around or he is tight fisted or even been cautious as he is not sure if u ll marry him or not. poster, u need to tell him ur mind on this and clarify that issue.The guy says he doesn't mind waiting......you people say he is pretending, what if he really has the fear of God. poster you need to devise a means to find out if he is or not, this is where u need the spirit of God cos he is the revealer of secret things...daniel 2:22. When you have verified all this info, then you can conclude on what u want to do cos I will not advice you to close this door yet so u don't end up chasing away yr God ordained hussy.And one more major thing, PRAY, PRAY and PRAY. seek God's face cos marriage is very spiritual. God bless u

      Delete
    2. Blossom4/12/2014

      When I dated my husband, he was stingy. I didn't mind cos I hard a good job and thought he'd change when we got married. Fast forward 16 years later, wow he's still very stingy. Even our kids know he's stingy.

      Dear poster it's not easy living with a stingy man on top of everything one goes through in marriage. A stingy person has some elements of selfishness, this is putting it politely! If I had to do it all over again, i'd avoid him like the plague.
      A word is enough for the wise.

      Delete
  26. Anonymous4/11/2014

    I just don't understand why a woman will be asking For money from a guy u just met. I can't wrap.my mind round that concept. Is he ur father? Did he send u to sch? Do u even ask about his welfare or how he is coping with his small jobs or u think he doesn't have responsibility like parents or siblings. Please run if u must u are not the right woman for him. It him I feel sorry for! It annoys me so much when I hear stupid stories like this. Abeg if u want airtime money and a grown ass woman like u can not find. Ask your father or uncle and leave the poor man alone. U should even be grateful he gives sometimes ITS NOT HIS RESPONSIBILITY.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/11/2014

      This is Africa. Whether you like it or not women expect a little bit of spending.
      U must be a stingy person sef

      Delete
    2. Anonymous4/11/2014

      well. The poster is asking 2 much! Yes. Lets b truthful!

      Delete
    3. Anonymous4/11/2014

      The poster did not ask 4 anything! She is even good sef! How many ladies will stay wit a struggling man especially wen dey r financially challenged them selves! Poster pls dnt suffer n smile

      Delete
    4. Anonymous4/12/2014

      Yes the poster is asking for stuff! They aren't even official in the first place. I you keep asking for stuff some men can use that to disrespect you.

      Delete
  27. Anonymous4/11/2014

    My dear, you really need to sit down and give it a thought! Communication is also vital, if you two wants to take this further! All d best

    ***********
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    available in different patterns/colours, these organizers keep your underwear/tie/socks in perfect check!!
    Now tell me why you will arrive late to that meeting when this box is yours for the keeping!
    holla moi to pick your box via 276a88af.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous4/11/2014

    Poster I think you are a good person, but am afraid your expectations are too high. Please understand that you have not given him any form of green light on the future between the two of you and i wonder how you want him to be throwing money at you at all time. Am thinking you have to be realistic on what you want from guys, not just for this present guy but in case you meet someone else later. Your tone of post tells anybody that you will fall flat to marry anybody once he meets those your expectations of yours, am not making light of your character of chastity over these number of years. please I understand you have need now but most decent guys are careful with some of those your expectations especially when they can not predict what your answer will be finally. He has told you his plans at the moment, what he is trying to set up; do you even know how much he realizes from his printing business monthlyt. You are a virgin i celebrate that but dear your expectations MAY led you to what you will not like afterward. If i were him i wouldn't have acted differently.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous4/11/2014

    poster. Dnt be greedy. Focus on his personality, strength and character. Also i love d fact u are virgin at 30. I think u should pray seriously shine ur eyes. Anythng u dnt like abt him u talk to him abt it. He is ur man. U knw him more than we do. Abv all if u stil dnt find real peace. Then back out

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous4/11/2014

    I think the guy is not teady for marriage yet, he might be a good guy, spiritual and all that, but marriage also comes with financial commitment. If you were working fully, I'd have said maybe you can support him when you start a family, pending when he gets a good job.

    I think you guys should sit down and discuss this, maybe you should put the marriage talk on hold till when he is a bit ready.

    ReplyDelete
  31. First of all I don't tink d poster is being unreasonable by saying d guy dnt give her money or he dnt evn ask her how she's coping in school,pls @anon 9:31 I suspect U mst be a guy for putting dt write up,did U really read the her story well,d guy dnt evn give not to talk of throwing money around and talking abut if he shuld not give bcs he's not her fada or uncle I feel sorry for U bcs is guys like U dt dnt pay attention to deir inlaws needs while married. For God sake d lady is not evn asking atlest let him ask evn if he dnt hve it shows dt he cares and boyfriend or hubby to be des re d tins dt shuld be one of his mst concern.
    Is a different tin dt one dnt ask and a different tin dt he dnt give. He shuld atlest ask. Pls poster U guys really need to talk to each oda,be free and voice out ur fears bcs from wat I undstnd u re not free wit d guy and once u re not free wit him,dt is a prob. There is a communication prob.in d relationship,bcs if is somone U re free wit once he does somtin U dnt like e.g wen he gave Ur sista 50 naria,wen U guys left U would hve jokly told him swthrt nawa for U asin in a way it ll not cause prob.but U kept quite,so my opnion is dt U guys really need to work on Ur communication and agn I ll not advise U to leave d guy but give him more time afta voicing ur mind to him and see if dere is any changes. Let God direct U. Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  32. Anonymous4/11/2014

    Poster: Thanks to all of you for your wonderful advices and suggestions. I feel a lot better taking my decision. @annonymous 9.31AM, I never had him in mind before I started my MSc program, neither will I have difficulties finishing it if he isn't there but restricting communication due to tariffs when we cannot do much than talk put me into doubts and I only brought up d issue of my sister and my MSc to shed more light on these doubts I'm having. Thanks anyway.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/11/2014

      I understand you my dear and take note!not evry 1 dat comments gives a wise advice! Dnt mind does ones that stressed the money aspect rather than his lack of care.i dnt c how u r asking 4 too much! Make do wit d few wise comments posted here! And remeber 2 go 4 what will make u happy! A relationship shd me enjoyed at least by 70% not managed!

      Delete
  33. Fyn Ijebu Chic4/11/2014

    Aunty Eya,
    What av u done with my comment?
    I dey count am for u ooo
    Lol

    ReplyDelete
  34. Anonymous4/12/2014

    Dear poster, i understand your fears, being a virgin at 30 aint beans... There is something called women's instinct. listen to that inner voice in you... you know when a r.ship is not for you but u still want to seek validation from people who are not exactly in your shoes. you deserve to be happy and shouldn't settle for less. i cannot over emphasize the role of prayers in this situation.. pray that God should open your inner eye.. and as for you being 30 is no biggie... people marry at different ages.. Take your time, be calm and keep your virginity for the man who deserves it.

    PS i'm also a virgin and i'm 27 and i've been single for 2 years.... i'ld rather remain single than to put myself in a r/ship that causes me to do over serious thinking... i cannot come and have high bp biko... God'll perfect everything with time.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Anonymous4/12/2014

    hmmm...na wa oh! na so my own bros dey do sef...i'm a virgin,he doesnt disturb me 4 sex cos he's promised 2 wait till am ready.i onced confessed 2 me he's cheated on me once wit his colleague at work.i forgave him bt didnt forget it.my instincts tell me he's still on wit her but i knw he luvs me.we're in a distant relationship and i kinda like it cos wen am around am being restricted and caged,dat's bcos our major problem LACK OF TRUST.we've been togethet 4 a yr and some months now.wen am away,i truly doubt his luv for me cos he cares less and bcums xtra stingy.hmmm...wen we're 2geda,he's d best man any lady could ever tink of...WHAT IS WRONG WIT MEN??

    ReplyDelete
  36. Anonymous4/12/2014

    PLEASE HELP!!!
    Am a virgin.i fantasize about sex...i know i wnt it,and i'm ready 4 it bt goddamnit!!!! FEAR....its always fear,my problem is fear.FEAR WON'T LET ME.like i get so wet and ready during romance(i dnt like fingering atal) BUT get so scared and stiff as if i saw a masquerade immediately d action is about to commence.i fear i might get injured or die sef.i dnt tink my man's penis is big or is it? den wat's d problem wit me? we've tried using lubricant,it didnt work FEAR.I consumed 2 bottles of Alomo only to get drunk and subdue d fear but no way! nufin happen...i remember i vowed neva 2 hve sex untill i was 18.now i'm 20+ but my fears r not letting me.gosh! i feel am cursed or maybe sunfin is wrong wit me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/12/2014

      30 yrs still be virgin but u rat dey rush smh

      Delete
  37. Anonymous4/12/2014

    hahahhahahahahhahahahahhahah

    ReplyDelete
  38. Anonymous4/12/2014

    yes u need deliverance frm demonic oppression. And if u have sex u wil regret it. U need to repent frm sin and dirty thngs u cal romance. U made a vow, remember? At 33 stil a virgn would get married soon. I dnt regret my virginity . I would kip it. Til am married.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Anonymous4/12/2014

    yes u need deliverance frm demonic oppression. And if u have sex u wil regret it. U need to repent frm sin and dirty thngs u cal romance. U made a vow, remember? At 33 stil a virgn would get married soon. I dnt regret my virginity . I would kip it. Til am married.

    ReplyDelete
  40. RIP TO MY QUEEN MY WORLD, MY STELLA.4/13/2014

    Everybody on this blog is a virgin, liars! You will kiss, smooche, finger, have oral sex, and still claim you are a virgin? GOD HELP SOME PEOPLE, DO YOU KNOW WHAT VIRGINITY ENTAILS? Thats why you will never see guys coming to say all these ones. I met this girl that claimed she was a virgin, but she allows me finger her and even put up to 3 fingers in there. She loves it so much, but claims sbe is keeping herself for her husband. Which husband? When I have used my fingers to design the place? Plus all the blow job I get from her? Story! That too is a sin and we know it. Sexual immorality includes everything. The husband you kept yourself for, was he a virgin? And if he cheats, which 70% of men do, will he have it at the back of his mind that you were a virgin? Or these women that come to this same blog to complain about thier husband's were not virgins? Pls keep yourself for God if you must. Not for any husband, because God is the one who comnanded us to. But he said "the bed undefiled", this means that, the woman AND THE MAN should keep themselves, its not just your responsibity. Whats the use if he actually has sex with other ladies?
    I have been married before to a woman who was not a virgin (she is late). I lovedand sstill love her with all my soul. No virgin in the world can make me forget what we shared during our short time together. She is a queen, a virtous woman, the type of person you will give your all, anyday anytime. For those of you keeping yourselves, its a good thing I commend you, but make sure you keep it in entirety, (no oral sex and fingering). Also make sure your husband to be also keeps himself and isnt judt ridiculing you by getting it else where. Also develop a good personality, attitude,. Tge fact tgat you are a virgin dosent make you va good person, Sexual sin is not the only sin. I would always go back to the girl I knew who was a virgin, u rather die than marry such a person who cannot greet her elders, the proudest person iv seen. I just want a good woman that completes me virgin or not (preferably not).
    And to those of you on this blog trying to make other girls feel inferior because they are not virgins, you are the ones in your 30's and coming here to ask. Trust me, the other ones are much younger and happily married.
    Eya, teach people the principles of being a good wife. The presence of a hymen has nothing to do with it.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Anonymous4/13/2014

    Am sry to say. RIP U ARE A FOOL! A BIG FOOL. HW DARE U CALL US LIARS! SO KIP SHUT.

    ReplyDelete
  42. U nid to ask urself d most important question...are u in love with him? If he's everyfn u wnt except a giver, u can eida have a serious talk with him or find a way to make him the kinda man u want. Good luck. Pls kindly visit my blog www.makeupcubicle.blogspot.com your comments will b highly appreciated

    ReplyDelete
  43. Makeupcubicle.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  44. Virgin Lucia4/13/2014

    Somebody insulted the man who came to say some ppl are lying about thier virginity. The person used the word "us" so I guess she considers herself a virgin. She also called him a fool. I took my time to read what he said and it made plenty of sense! he was simply explaining that sexual immorality was a sin irrespective of penile penetration into the vagina. You dont have to call him a fool mrs virgin. How righteous is that? Now we all know you are a virgin *if you truly are* with very bad manners.i forgot to add...I am a virgin too! Lol. We should have a union, association of virgin spinsters. Virgins town hall connection blog. #ROTFL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/14/2014

      who dash monkey bananana. U ARE JUST JOKING!

      Delete
  45. Anonymous4/13/2014

    Make una take una hymen cook sunday rice naa, abeg shift! Ife bala aba abago. If I see man wey be virgin na that one I go clap for. In fact I go dash am money. Na that one be d real one. Mr RIP STELLA as you don take your fingers design her headquarters, you don leave finger print be that, that one no be virgin o. You be virgin this and that, so wetin we go do? Make we kill ourselve? Make una tell my oga say I no sign agreement to work on Sundays oooo. Which kind package be this na? If say I be virgin shebi he for don release me since.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/14/2014

      @ Anon 5.35 wallahi, you be mad woman.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous4/14/2014

      Lol. Dnt mind her. Na me tell am sai make e loose her virginity? Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

      Delete
    3. Anonymous4/14/2014

      annon 525. Sorry u hear. EYAH.. UR HEADQTER IS 2 WIDE. CHEI! DNT WORRY BUY VIRGINIA TIGHTERNER U HEAR?

      Delete
  46. Anonymous4/14/2014

    @ lucia. Why are u taking it personal? Why must he call virgins liars? Hv he fingered any of them? Has he kiss, touch any of them? He did said wat made sense infact! But d fact he called them a liar dat why he was insultd becos he doesnt knw if they are truthful. So mind ur biz ok?

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  48. Anonymous4/14/2014

    sry annon 5 35pm i dnt mean to hurt u. Sry Rip.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Anonymous4/14/2014

    dear poster.. If he doesnt call u.. U should surprise him and call him for 30 mins. Dat makes u mature. He musnt be d only one calling. Im sure dats y he reduced d 1500 card to 200. My own 2kobo.. Cheers

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous4/14/2014

      lol. I knw u must be a guy.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous4/14/2014

      Lol. I belive u must be a guy.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous4/15/2014

      @ anon 8:44.. Im not a guy. Im a woman. Yes the poster might be 30 and a virgin,bt she should show maturity and interest in a relationship by calling d guy too. Dats all im saying dear

      Delete
    4. Anonymous4/15/2014

      u are correct in wat u said. She (the poster) is 2 demanding.

      Delete
  50. Anonymous4/14/2014

    Virgins town hall connection blog*rotfl*my belle ooooo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. who b dis biko?

      Delete

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