In A Dilemma, Should I Open Up To His Mother?

I'm in a dilemma. I've been in a relationship for the past 6 months and at first everything was rosy. The problem now is that my boyfriend has changed all of a sudden. We don't communicate as we used to and I've spoken to him about it but nothing has changed. Each time we argue it's me who makes the first move for us to settle it. The reason I do so is because I don't know how to hold a grudge. For the past one week, we have not really spoken... He hasn't made any effort in trying to sort out our argument. I messaged him about few days ago asking if he doesn't want the relationship anymore, he replied by saying I should go if i want to that he is not holding me down.

 I've done
everything a woman does in a relationship. I've literally given my all to it 'cause I wanted it to work out between us. His mum really likes me and each time we speak she asks if everything is okay between us. Should I explain to her?

Also, I feel like to move on I need to hear from him. I need him to say his mind. I' ve stopped contacting him 'cause it almost seems like I'm desperate now. I'm really going through a lot at the moment and the least I need is this. Please what do I do? I feel so heartbroken. I can't even seem to find strength
P.S  we are in a long distance relationship.
I'm sorry for the long post. 

Comments

  1. Anonymous3/24/2014

    As long as he isnt violent,pls manage him untill someone better comes ur way,.then dump him

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The fact that you love somebody so much doesn't mean that's the person you will marry, so bearing in mind that, you don't need any confirmation from anybody to move on with your life, the only time you need confirmation to move on with your life is when you are married to someone, and that confirmation is death, else your act will be termed adultery, and a man is not yet your man until he says "I do" no Mather how much he loves you or you love him, don't ever believe that the relationship is secure, so having known that, be very careful how you give your all in relationship, else your will be at the losing side when the relationship ends, its your heart that will be broken, We all must understand that "love/relationship" is a dangerous game, there are winners and losers, pleasure and pain, so we have to be careful every step all the way, or you will be the fool, so when you give everything a woman needs to give, be careful in giving your body

      And for you to date someone for six month and have given your all according to you, just because you want it to work, that's too early to give your all in a relationship, because I believe you have given him sex, and he has had enough of that, because you taught that will make him committed to you, well sex doesn't bring commitment in relationship, "go ask prostitute"

      And there is no gain without pain, so its better breaking up, and enduring the pain, but having the gain of meeting a better man, its actually Better now than having to endure all this in marriage, so this present an opportunity for you to meet someone that will treat you right, when a guys stops loving you, or doesn't want you in his life again, there is little or nothing you can do to bring him back, not even sex can bring him back, so just let go and be happy that things went the way they went, because it simply means you deserve a better man, and God in his love for you has allowed things happen the way they did, all that happens to us have the mark of God on it, its painful to accept but for a guy to reply you that you "should go if i want to that he
      is not holding you down" it means he has told you indirectly that he is done with you, and you are a liability

      Don't tell his mum, but if she ask you again if everything is ok, tell her you are not dating him again, so she will know and stop reminding you of him by asking, you don't need to go into details, if she want details, she should ask his son

      And incase you go into another relationship, don't you ever give your all in that relationship again, until you are married, give part and hold part, so when that relationship does not lead to marriage, you have something to hold on to, just do your best, when I mean your best, set principles for yourself and do the right thing, I know you gave sex, be careful with that in the next relationship
      God bless you


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    2. Alloy Chikezie3/24/2014

      Also long/distance relationship is not adviceable for young people like you especially, because of the high rate of sexual appeal at that young age, there should be a solid foundation of love and trust before that long distance effect itself, else it might not withstand the distance, even sometimes with that solid foundation of love and trust, the relationship might still not withstand iron hand of the distance


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    3. Blossom3/25/2014

      I officially crown you the current chief adviser on relationship matters in WC.

      Good one Bro. So much wisdom from one so young.

      Delete
  2. meeeeeeeeeeee3/24/2014

    Manage ke? Someone who has made it clear he does not care whether you stay or go. Please move on with your life before he will ditch you for someone else, that is if he's not seeing another person already. He does not love you, read his lips!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous3/25/2014

      MY DEAR POSTER, THE GUY HAS TOLD YOU NOW. THAT HE IS NOT HOLDING YOU DOWN. MY SISTER AS AT THIS MOMENT, YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP ALL BY YOURSELF. SUCK IIT UP AND MOVE ON. IT MAY NOT BE EASY BUT YOU WILL HEAL

      Delete
  3. Anonymous3/24/2014

    my dear you have clearly seen the signs and you don't want to come to terms with it. i have been in your shoes before,infact just recovered from it.the relationship ended on the 3rd of february to be precise.

    it may seem tough for you tho, but just ignore him and focus on yourself.i have moved on with my life and mind you, am 35 yrs o!

    Gods time is the best and my prayer is that those of us that are going through this 'wonderful' challenge, there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

    someday i will tell the story of my life to WC fam.

    there is nothing GOD cannot do.....AMEN!

    i remain anonymous this time....smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. anony good talk.you have said it all.poster the God that gave her the strength to over come her predicament will do the same for you.just follow her steps and the rest will be history b4 you know it.

      Delete
  4. Anonymous3/24/2014

    What conversation do you want to have with his mother abeg dump him joh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She has been dumped, but she refused to moved on. My dear poster pls move on, atleast its just 6 months, so he did not waste ur time. Pls nxt time don't give ur all n all that early, he has gotten n seen everything, so he has moved on. Ladies lots of men r good at "eat, clean mouth and move on". If u withhold somethings, he will still want to hold on to u.

      Delete
  5. Anonymous3/24/2014

    Mstchewww u beta move on wit ur life! What nonsense! He does not want u,its obvious. Abeg i dey vex

    ReplyDelete
  6. He's not interested in you. Please let him go and don't take him back. Forget him and move on. It gets easier as time goes on. You deserve a man who will love you like God loves the church.

    ReplyDelete
  7. dat muslim chic3/24/2014

    My dear, b4 going into relationship always seek God's councel yes! U knw wot is killing dis generation marriage is dat we want wot others hv bt every individual is different nd hv diff roles on dis earth. Nowadays, pple just out of desperation mk out fairytales in der head nd try to live such dreams. All I'm saying is nt 2 critisize u bt help u see thing another way. We should stop all dis my partner must b dis nd dat, b4 u knw it, u will gt lost in all d physical appearances nd forget d spiritual cos I fell u dnt wanna let go cos of some of d attributes he might posses physically or u just feel time isn't on ur side. Its good u r nt married 2 him else dats how he will ignore u in d home nd u will wish u neva married him. The mother is only checking with u cos she wants her son 2 b married nt dat she likes u dat much nd dnt 4gt she's gonna b like dat 2 everyother girl he brings home so pls leave d mother outta dis cos if he eventually marries u, dis will b one of ur many skeletons in her cupboard she will abuse u wit. No mother will ever love u more than their own so b wise babe

    ReplyDelete
  8. dat muslim chic3/24/2014

    My dear, b4 going into relationship always seek God's councel yes! U knw wot is killing dis generation marriage is dat we want wot others hv bt every individual is different nd hv diff roles on dis earth. Nowadays, pple just out of desperation mk out fairytales in der head nd try to live such dreams. All I'm saying is nt 2 critisize u bt help u see thing another way. We should stop all dis my partner must b dis nd dat, b4 u knw it, u will gt lost in all d physical appearances nd forget d spiritual cos I fell u dnt wanna let go cos of some of d attributes he might posses physically or u just feel time isn't on ur side. Its good u r nt married 2 him else dats how he will ignore u in d home nd u will wish u neva married him. The mother is only checking with u cos she wants her son 2 b married nt dat she likes u dat much nd dnt 4gt she's gonna b like dat 2 everyother girl he brings home so pls leave d mother outta dis cos if he eventually marries u, dis will b one of ur many skeletons in her cupboard she will abuse u wit. No mother will ever love u more than their own so b wise babe

    ReplyDelete
  9. dat muslim chic3/24/2014

    My dear, b4 going into relationship always seek God's councel yes! U knw wot is killing dis generation marriage is dat we want wot others hv bt every individual is different nd hv diff roles on dis earth. Nowadays, pple just out of desperation mk out fairytales in der head nd try to live such dreams. All I'm saying is nt 2 critisize u bt help u see thing another way. We should stop all dis my partner must b dis nd dat, b4 u knw it, u will gt lost in all d physical appearances nd forget d spiritual cos I fell u dnt wanna let go cos of some of d attributes he might posses physically or u just feel time isn't on ur side. Its good u r nt married 2 him else dats how he will ignore u in d home nd u will wish u neva married him. The mother is only checking with u cos she wants her son 2 b married nt dat she likes u dat much nd dnt 4gt she's gonna b like dat 2 everyother girl he brings home so pls leave d mother outta dis cos if he eventually marries u, dis will b one of ur many skeletons in her cupboard she will abuse u wit. No mother will ever love u more than their own so b wise babe

    ReplyDelete
  10. dat muslim chic3/24/2014

    My dear, b4 going into relationship always seek God's councel yes! U knw wot is killing dis generation marriage is dat we want wot others hv bt every individual is different nd hv diff roles on dis earth. Nowadays, pple just out of desperation mk out fairytales in der head nd try to live such dreams. All I'm saying is nt 2 critisize u bt help u see thing another way. We should stop all dis my partner must b dis nd dat, b4 u knw it, u will gt lost in all d physical appearances nd forget d spiritual cos I fell u dnt wanna let go cos of some of d attributes he might posses physically or u just feel time isn't on ur side. Its good u r nt married 2 him else dats how he will ignore u in d home nd u will wish u neva married him. The mother is only checking with u cos she wants her son 2 b married nt dat she likes u dat much nd dnt 4gt she's gonna b like dat 2 everyother girl he brings home so pls leave d mother outta dis cos if he eventually marries u, dis will b one of ur many skeletons in her cupboard she will abuse u wit. No mother will ever love u more than their own so b wise babe

    ReplyDelete
  11. dat muslim chic3/24/2014

    My dear, b4 going into relationship always seek God's councel yes! U knw wot is killing dis generation marriage is dat we want wot others hv bt every individual is different nd hv diff roles on dis earth. Nowadays, pple just out of desperation mk out fairytales in der head nd try to live such dreams. All I'm saying is nt 2 critisize u bt help u see thing another way. We should stop all dis my partner must b dis nd dat, b4 u knw it, u will gt lost in all d physical appearances nd forget d spiritual cos I fell u dnt wanna let go cos of some of d attributes he might posses physically or u just feel time isn't on ur side. Its good u r nt married 2 him else dats how he will ignore u in d home nd u will wish u neva married him. The mother is only checking with u cos she wants her son 2 b married nt dat she likes u dat much nd dnt 4gt she's gonna b like dat 2 everyother girl he brings home so pls leave d mother outta dis cos if he eventually marries u, dis will b one of ur many skeletons in her cupboard she will abuse u wit. No mother will ever love u more than their own so b wise babe

    ReplyDelete
  12. dat muslim chic3/24/2014

    My dear, b4 going into relationship always seek God's councel yes! U knw wot is killing dis generation marriage is dat we want wot others hv bt every individual is different nd hv diff roles on dis earth. Nowadays, pple just out of desperation mk out fairytales in der head nd try to live such dreams. All I'm saying is nt 2 critisize u bt help u see thing another way. We should stop all dis my partner must b dis nd dat, b4 u knw it, u will gt lost in all d physical appearances nd forget d spiritual cos I fell u dnt wanna let go cos of some of d attributes he might posses physically or u just feel time isn't on ur side. Its good u r nt married 2 him else dats how he will ignore u in d home nd u will wish u neva married him. The mother is only checking with u cos she wants her son 2 b married nt dat she likes u dat much nd dnt 4gt she's gonna b like dat 2 everyother girl he brings home so pls leave d mother outta dis cos if he eventually marries u, dis will b one of ur many skeletons in her cupboard she will abuse u wit. No mother will ever love u more than their own so b wise babe

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous3/24/2014

    Why, in God's Name, would you want to discuss your BOYFRIEND (of 6 months, for that matter) with his mother? The decision to continue with a relationship is yours or his to make. Do you want his mother to goad him into continuing the relationship so that, in the end, he'll say "after all, my mother made me marry her"? If she really wants to know, she should ask him.

    ReplyDelete
  14. dat muslim chic3/24/2014

    My dear, b4 going into relationship always seek God's councel yes! U knw wot is killing dis generation marriage is dat we want wot others hv bt every individual is different nd hv diff roles on dis earth. Nowadays, pple just out of desperation mk out fairytales in der head nd try to live such dreams. All I'm saying is nt 2 critisize u bt help u see thing another way. We should stop all dis my partner must b dis nd dat, b4 u knw it, u will gt lost in all d physical appearances nd forget d spiritual cos I fell u dnt wanna let go cos of some of d attributes he might posses physically or u just feel time isn't on ur side. Its good u r nt married 2 him else dats how he will ignore u in d home nd u will wish u neva married him. The mother is only checking with u cos she wants her son 2 b married nt dat she likes u dat much nd dnt 4gt she's gonna b like dat 2 everyother girl he brings home so pls leave d mother outta dis cos if he eventually marries u, dis will b one of ur many skeletons in her cupboard she will abuse u wit. No mother will ever love u more than their own so b wise babe

    ReplyDelete
  15. dat muslim chic3/24/2014

    My dear, b4 going into relationship always seek God's councel yes! U knw wot is killing dis generation marriage is dat we want wot others hv bt every individual is different nd hv diff roles on dis earth. Nowadays, pple just out of desperation mk out fairytales in der head nd try to live such dreams. All I'm saying is nt 2 critisize u bt help u see thing another way. We should stop all dis my partner must b dis nd dat, b4 u knw it, u will gt lost in all d physical appearances nd forget d spiritual cos I fell u dnt wanna let go cos of some of d attributes he might posses physically or u just feel time isn't on ur side. Its good u r nt married 2 him else dats how he will ignore u in d home nd u will wish u neva married him. The mother is only checking with u cos she wants her son 2 b married nt dat she likes u dat much nd dnt 4gt she's gonna b like dat 2 everyother girl he brings home so pls leave d mother outta dis cos if he eventually marries u, dis will b one of ur many skeletons in her cupboard she will abuse u wit. No mother will ever love u more than their own so b wise babe

    ReplyDelete
  16. dat muslim chic3/24/2014

    My dear, b4 going into relationship always seek God's councel yes! U knw wot is killing dis generation marriage is dat we want wot others hv bt every individual is different nd hv diff roles on dis earth. Nowadays, pple just out of desperation mk out fairytales in der head nd try to live such dreams. All I'm saying is nt 2 critisize u bt help u see thing another way. We should stop all dis my partner must b dis nd dat, b4 u knw it, u will gt lost in all d physical appearances nd forget d spiritual cos I fell u dnt wanna let go cos of some of d attributes he might posses physically or u just feel time isn't on ur side. Its good u r nt married 2 him else dats how he will ignore u in d home nd u will wish u neva married him. The mother is only checking with u cos she wants her son 2 b married nt dat she likes u dat much nd dnt 4gt she's gonna b like dat 2 everyother girl he brings home so pls leave d mother outta dis cos if he eventually marries u, dis will b one of ur many skeletons in her cupboard she will abuse u wit. No mother will ever love u more than their own so b wise babe

    ReplyDelete
  17. dat muslim chic3/24/2014

    My dear, b4 going into relationship always seek God's councel yes! U knw wot is killing dis generation marriage is dat we want wot others hv bt every individual is different nd hv diff roles on dis earth. Nowadays, pple just out of desperation mk out fairytales in der head nd try to live such dreams. All I'm saying is nt 2 critisize u bt help u see thing another way. We should stop all dis my partner must b dis nd dat, b4 u knw it, u will gt lost in all d physical appearances nd forget d spiritual cos I fell u dnt wanna let go cos of some of d attributes he might posses physically or u just feel time isn't on ur side. Its good u r nt married 2 him else dats how he will ignore u in d home nd u will wish u neva married him. The mother is only checking with u cos she wants her son 2 b married nt dat she likes u dat much nd dnt 4gt she's gonna b like dat 2 everyother girl he brings home so pls leave d mother outta dis cos if he eventually marries u, dis will b one of ur many skeletons in her cupboard she will abuse u wit. No mother will ever love u more than their own so b wise babe

    ReplyDelete
  18. dat muslim chic3/24/2014

    My dear, b4 going into relationship always seek God's councel yes! U knw wot is killing dis generation marriage is dat we want wot others hv bt every individual is different nd hv diff roles on dis earth. Nowadays, pple just out of desperation mk out fairytales in der head nd try to live such dreams. All I'm saying is nt 2 critisize u bt help u see thing another way. We should stop all dis my partner must b dis nd dat, b4 u knw it, u will gt lost in all d physical appearances nd forget d spiritual cos I fell u dnt wanna let go cos of some of d attributes he might posses physically or u just feel time isn't on ur side. Its good u r nt married 2 him else dats how he will ignore u in d home nd u will wish u neva married him. The mother is only checking with u cos she wants her son 2 b married nt dat she likes u dat much nd dnt 4gt she's gonna b like dat 2 everyother girl he brings home so pls leave d mother outta dis cos if he eventually marries u, dis will b one of ur many skeletons in her cupboard she will abuse u wit. No mother will ever love u more than their own so b wise babe

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wow! Congrats, really happy for u. May dis baby bring endless joy into ur family's life like u have brought joy into mine with d platform u hv given me on dis blog, to all d mothers in d house, expectant mothers, nd still waiting mothers I hail oh.....

    Buy ur quality baby clothes (0-7yrs) from uk @ affordable price!!! Holla (bb-27e7efa1). Will send to any state of ur choice.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Wow! Congrats, really happy for u. May dis baby bring endless joy into ur family's life like u have brought joy into mine with d platform u hv given me on dis blog, to all d mothers in d house, expectant mothers, nd still waiting mothers I hail oh.....

    Buy ur quality baby clothes (0-7yrs) from uk @ affordable price!!! Holla (bb-27e7efa1). Will send to any state of ur choice.

    ReplyDelete
  21. pls why are u considering talking to his mum?lets assume u people finally get married,is the mum going to be the bed rock of the r/ship?remember mother/daughter in law wahala.will u be able to talk in that r/ship?the mum will always tell u that if not for her,the son would not have married u.and come to think of it,how are u even sure that the mum is not aware of all this?she might just be pretending u know especially if u hare rendering financial help to her this one y are lamenting for giving ur bf ur all.so dear make hare while ur sun still shines.may the good Lord meet u at this ur point of need,Amen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol @ "this one you are lamenting about giving your boyfriend your all".
      Lol.
      At poster, some men won't outrightly tell you they aren't interested any longer.
      I can't say if this is the regular practice with men or if its just common with sneaky, weak, cowardly men who want to eat their cake and have it- they may just leave you there, hanging, whilst they make the rounds in search of a woman who they think will better complement them.
      Should you hang on, you will, eventually, be reduced to a snivelling, sniffling and pathetic pile whilst he keeps holding out emotionally- and the more desperate you are, the more pathetic, unappealing, unattractive and repulsive you become to him which will make him treat you with disgust, disrespect, utter disinterest and harshness.
      However, realise that when and after you leave, and begin to love yourself, picking up the pieces of you that this bastard wouldn't appreciate together, going out and meeting people and chanelling all that tumultuous emotions to useful ventures, chances are, he will/may come back (might take 3 months, 6months, 9 months- within which I pray you might have met someone who totally sweeps you off your feet) to beg you- and he will seem pathetic to you.
      You will feel NOTHING for him.
      You will wonder what about him made you think you couldn't go on.
      You will be highly annoyed with what you will now regard as foolish behaviour on your part.
      Sha, some of what I've written may sound harsh but I need to ginger you.
      My sister, wake up and kick that bastard to the kerb.
      Save your love for a man who will make you have no iota of doubt that he loves you unconditionally, he will leave no stones unturned- there won't be any games, doubts, guesses- he will love you and you will SEE it- and I don't mean a half-baked man o, I mean a correct guy.
      Leave that man and focus on yourself for now.
      God will give you the required strength.
      And please, forget about telling his mum anything, if it will help, change your number and just totally cut them off.
      Hope my 10 pence will help.
      Xoxo....

      Delete
    2. Anonymous3/27/2014

      thanks dido thats a solid piece of advice i hope she takes it cos I was in a similar situation so many years ago but i moved on.... its was a struggle to pick up the pieces but i eventually did and married a hunk of a man who treats me like a queen

      Delete
  22. Anonymous3/24/2014

    A broken relationship is better than....relationship should be enjoyed,marriage endured...wen u remember the enjoyment on d future rainy day...a word.stop wasting your time.

    ReplyDelete
  23. NNE please take the advise of people above and move on.
    Don't manage coz if he eventually marries you you'll become something I can't say.
    If you choose to hold on, he might be blocking the right person.
    Let go and free yourself. Better heartbreak now that prayer houses tomorrow after marriage.
    And when the next guy shows, do take your time and seek Gods face

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous3/24/2014

      i love u debbie. D same thng happend to me mine was 3wks old and d socalled xtian guy just stp talkng to me. I tired my best to ask him y and no answer. I hv stp talkng to him

      Delete
    2. Better for you dear. The thing is that its hard but when you eventually leave, it makes you stronger and wiser.
      Who never go no go know. Good luck sister, your tomorrow is perfect

      Delete
  24. it might not be easy but the best thing to do is to move on with your life. Its the man that should be anxious not you. Obviously he has moved on.Telling his mom might even cause more issues. Since you are in good terms with his mom you might decide to tell her that you guys have broken up when you finally make up your mind to leave him. All the best.



    How to comb natural hair

    ReplyDelete
  25. I am salivating already


    Your comment will be visible after approval

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Alloy Chikezie3/24/2014

      Sorry, this comment was meant for the post, "special potato salad by Omalicha"


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  26. Anonymous3/24/2014

    same happend to me and i just dump him fast!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous3/24/2014

    They have said it all.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous3/28/2014

    Move on fast,wat can fa rubbish.You r young nd beautiful dnt waste ur tym with some1 who does not deserve you.And make sure U̶̲̥̅̊ shower ursef wit real love biko.Make ur hair,eat wat U̶̲̥̅̊ lyk nd jst b hapi trust м̤̣̲̣̈̇ε̲̣ U̶̲̥̅̊ ll b hapi U̶̲̥̅̊ did.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous3/28/2014

      i love ur comment.

      Delete

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