I Am In Pains

Good day WC. Pls Aunty Eya i am in pains ma need advice from WC ma and pls ma i want to remain Anonymous ma both my mails and my name. Thanx and God bless ma. Got married 2007 we did both traditional,white $ Registry'.Thou when we got married my boo wasn't that ok. As a wife i prayed and i asked God to bless my boo cus the thinking was just too much for him. God answered my prayer and bless us very well when we are now OK. My boo started acting funny to the extend that if i'm not around he bring different girl friends to our matrimonial home even his girl friends do call me and abuse me and cal me names on phone and also send nud pictures to each others and each time I complain to him, he will start beating me, he treat me like a slave.

 4yrs bk i was pregnant he went out and
he came bk that mid night the next thing he started beating me for like 3hours non stop thou he hardly come home and sleep. Was screaming no help from anybody I had miscarriage instantly and he broke my head, he took me to the hospital for treatment but the pains was much. Also got a job he said insisted of me to work and leave his house or he set me up with business and stay and continue to bear Mrs oti. I had to do wat he requested for $ its bcus I love him so much. Because he was the one that dis flowered me.now I'm 36yrs i don't ve any issue for him. And he is seeking for divorce, we did our court wedding in Abj and want to divorce me in his state in Anambra.he abandoned me in my parent house, he didn't allow me to pick a penny in our house $ he didn't even give me penny . I suffered so much with Mr oti

He has pregnated one of the rich family daughter and the lady went to the state to give birth. Now the lady is all over him to divorce me. And he knows the judge in charge of the case. He has money which I know he can bribe the judge. For the judge to tell me that she won't allow them to transfer the case to abuja that he is interested in the case there's something behind it. 

He really lied on me and spoil my name.I am innocent,And he said I came from a poor family, Thou i might cme from a very comfortable family but I cried to God, sowed both physical, financially and God heard my tears,prayers, fasting and bless this man. Now I'm not his standard! Its as if I'm dreaming. I've lots on my mind but just picked some. WC i went through heal ma. Where will i start from? Need your advice ma!

Comments

  1. U start by removing ur cloth at midnight n swearing 4 him. He beat u n made u miscarried n I bet which led to u not being able to conceive now. Nothing like pray 4 him n all d rubbish, my own advice is 4 u to swear 4 d idiot man. As of d divorce, this is Nigeria where our legal system is rubbish, so nothing 4 u there. If u can find a way n get ur things from his house, take them, find a job n start life afresh without him. Kpele, shit happens.

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    1. Don't say that. Nigerian legal system is not rubbish. It is this mindset that keeps people from seeking Justice. Yes it can be slow and there are bad eggs but there are bad eggs all over the world too.Nigerians should research the law so they know how to better protect themselves, don't be ignorant of your rights cos you have so many

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    2. Anonymous3/26/2014

      This is exactly why there is a saying that one never knows who a man really is until he becomes rich! Most poor men are falsely humble, when they feel they have some money then you c their true colors. Sorry poster, move on with your life before they kill u.

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  2. Eya congratulations, I'm happy 4 u. Tell ur little boy welcome 4 me. May God bless him in Jesus name, AMEN!

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    1. Madam Eya am soo happy for you and your family.
      God bless your baby,Amen.

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  3. Anonymous3/22/2014

    ooh no so sory dear. my advice is for u to leave that man. find something doing for yourself. leave him to God for judgement. hmm men are so so wicked...

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    1. Its really painful, but there is nothing you can do but put yourself together and try to pick the pieces of what's left of your life and move on, the scare will be in your heart, but life goes on, there is nobody that can comfort you, except you yourself and God, we can only give advice, but you will need a strong heart and spirit rooted in the word of God to comfort yourself and move on with your life

      I want you to always comfort yourself with this world, "whatever will be, will be " no matter what you do, nothing can change whatever will be, "its a wicked world, filled with wicked and heartless people, and cases like yours and even worse cases than yours will continue to happen, and there is little or nothing anybody can do about it rather than to face it bravely, or you will be consumed by the wickedness" and since we know its a wicked world should we allow ourselves to be consumed by the wickedness? So if you don't move on with your life, the wickedness of this world will overpower and consumed you, its devil world, always take consolation that God still loves you

      Never stop being good, never stop being yourself, and try to find a place in your heart to forgive him, so you will have a happy heart, because that is the only way you can think straight and be rational and make right and positive decisions, always remember that there are people going through worst situations, what of people that did not get married? What will they do? So you still have your life

      Forgiving him does not mean he will not suffer the consequences of his action, so what's the need not forgiven, he will suffer the consequences of his action, because he can't walk on fire expecting his feet not to get burnt, or walk around fire expecting not to sweat, and never stop praying for him, so hopefully he will realise his mistake and change, and never think that at 36 there might not be hope for you again in terms of giving birth, that's not true, another good man can come by, he also can turn a new leaf and come back

      Also learn to love God and his word, by always studying the bible, it will comfort you a lot, especially proverbs, psalms, the new testaments, and gospels
      God bless you and comfort you


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  4. Nne there is something called karma.he will reap whatever he has sown in a thousand folds and the pregnant girl disturbing him will see for herself pretty soon. Take heart dear.just keep praying and being faithful to God,he will come to your help just in time.

    www.styltix.com

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  5. Anonymous3/22/2014

    Dear poster I am really sorry that you are going through what you are going through but in all honesty I think you should let him go ahead and file for a divorce. A man that beats his pregnant wife is an animal and I am sure you don't want to be married to an animal. Pray to God to take control and to bring you someone who would love you the way Christ loves the church. Do not dwell on this for one more minute please

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous3/23/2014

      My dear cast your burdens to God,leave d house and start afresh.I know its very hard buh be strong, the Lord is your strenght and ur battle is His.plenty hugs

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  6. My advice is for you to get a very mean lawyer and sue him as well,contest the divorce and make it hell for him. Petition that the matter be transferred and report the judge to the NJC.Don't take it lying down my dear,meshie the man Ike cos he's too wicked. Also make your demands if he wants a divorce. Write letters to people that if anything happens to you he's responsible and let him know that so he doesn't try something funny.This is not the time to leave it to God or be docile about it.If possible, slip anonymous tips to blogs and all these gossip mags as you say the other woman's parents are rich.Sha embarrass them.Goodluck

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    1. Anonymous3/23/2014

      Yes that's true o. Scandalize them jare. Go to d office of the governor's wife and report this matter. Come of as pathetic as possible. Bring any proof that you can find. Male it a sensational case. Foolish wicked man.

      Anonymous 1.41am

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  7. Anonymous3/23/2014

    Get a good lawyer first n foremost. I am one but based in enugu. Ur lawyer can take it up frm Dr. Divorce cases can b heard at any high court in naija irrespective of wia d marriage (under d Act) was celebrated. Anyways ur lawyer shd b able to supply facts to u bt u can gt free counsel (legal) frm me...e.qtomah@yahoo.com

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  8. Anonymous3/23/2014

    Dear Poster, am so sorry this has happened to you. You married a bad one. I would advise you to just move one with your life. You are still very young and will definitely concieve again. You probably havent since your miscarriage because you have been unhappy and stressed and one needs peace of mind to concieve. As long as there is a God that man will rue the day he decided to maltreat you. Give him the divorce he wants quickly so you can begin healing and your new life soon. So many great things are still ahead.

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  9. Anonymous3/23/2014

    Eya congrats on your new baby.

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  10. Anonymous3/23/2014

    My dear its over. Its really over. I only wish you had a child from this union. But leave all to God now. This is why one should never stay with man who treats you totally like trash, he will eventually throw you out. This is also why you should never let no man treat you like trash. Men though smh.

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  11. Anonymous3/23/2014

    Madam Eya, maybe you can start by removing the guy's last name from the letter. paragraph 2

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  12. Congrats on the arrival of your baby. I can't seem to make a comment under the main post. #dunno y#. May God watch over him continuously and may he grow up knowing God and living for him alone.

    @Poster,the Lord is your muscle and strength. PLS make sure you commit whatever step u are going to take to God in prayers.
    some men though. SMH.

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  13. •Omalicha•3/23/2014

    Are you not happy that he seeks a divorce? You were married to a beast madam. Truly they say you can't know the true character of a man until he becomes rich. Why would you want a prolonged and difficult divorce? Dont you want to make things easier for yourself? Please, happily grant him the divorce so that he can carry his wahala and go.So that you can start life afresh, so that you can build up and regain your confidence. Im glad you didnt have any child for duch an evil person that can beat a pregnant woman till she miscarries. Please please and please. Grant him the divorce so you can get your sanity..I really hope that you had some savings. The marriage is not a total loss. GOD brought you out from a life threatening situation! Let him marry tge girl biko. Thank God you are alive. Your husband was a beast. Start again, you will excel, you are stronger, you have learned that one sided love, makes no difference.

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  14. Anonymous3/23/2014

    please wc, I haven't had any cheating problem with my hubby but I just saw a message my hubby sent to his ex girlfriend saying" Gudp.m baby, I'm running to the stadium, can I see you there? Please should I confront him or keep quite?

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    1. Anonymous3/23/2014

      I suggest you ask him in a calm and non confrontational manner

      Delete
  15. Anonymous3/23/2014

    @2:08pm,confront him but in a wise way bcos if u don't curb it now it will escalate.The earlier d better.If u keep quiet now,u'll still talk when it escalates,so y not do the confrontation now?
    ADEYANJU

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    1. Anonymous3/23/2014

      Please give me tips on how to to start d confrontation bcus my heart is really heavy and i don't want to mess everything up.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous3/23/2014

      My advice to you for now will be to follow their discussion/affair through your husband's phone without his knowledge just to be sure that they are indeed having an affair. You will look stupid if you confront him without a tangible evidence. Above all, ur weapon is prayer. Pray that the Lord will remove the love/lust of another woman from your husband's heart. He will love you and only you and that God should keep every strange woman busy from your husband. It works. Goodluck.

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    3. I think its quite obvious they are having an affair. The only person he should be calling baby is his wife. I agree poster before you talk to him pray for 3 days first. Then make him his fave food and start gisting with him and just throw it in there for example "oh darling I forgot to mention I noticed you and your ex have started seeing each other again..........i saw a text you sent where you called her baby and you asked her to meet you at the stadium..........whats up with that". its hard o but it works because if you start by saying "we need to talk" his guard will be up

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    4. Mrs Anon3/25/2014

      Mess up everything? He is the one messing up things pls. This is a clear case of cheating there is nothing to find out. You have no business keeping contact with ur ex while married say the least of calling them 'baby' or planning meeting up with them...so unless u really want to do some more snooping to find out more tangible things then go ahead. I assure u u will find your evidence and he most likely will deny. U can try the suggestion of "my make up cosmetics" posted above, that is, behave normal, give him food, gist, and then from nowhere let him know that u are quite aware of it and ur not stupid. keep a straight face, no crying or begging, no "how could you do this to me, bla bla",just tell him you are very hurt because of his irresponsible actions, but life goes on and you will not die... He will be very shocked at ur unexpected reaction, and before he has time to recover or bully you, lay down the law, tell him quietly what you will not tolerate, that you have not cheated on him so he should not cheat on you. And that you will not for any reason permit any further sexual relations with him to protect yourself from unwanted diseases such as hiv, etc. Until you are convinced he has cut off from her or any others, period. Get up once you have finished and walk away. Go about your normal business, laugh at your phone, tv, and behave as if there is no problem. When he has gone out you can cry out your eyes unto your God and ask Him to intervene on your behalf or pray all the mfm prayers u want. Just don't let him see you weak or miserable. Continue to watch his actions and from there u will know what next step to take. Ask God for wisdom in all.

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  16. Johnson3/23/2014

    1. Spiritually handover the case to God - He is able to comfort you in this situation.
    2. Make effort not to keep malice as you go through this tough period – it will come to pass… Nobody is worth going to hell for!
    3. You need to talk to someone in the family he respects... If such a person does not exist for him, then you have a big problem handling it physically!
    4. Get your life together and make a success of yourself. Refuse to be a pity-party but start the upgrade process and see what God can do in your life.
    I definitely pray the Almighty God will see you through, IJN. Amen.

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  17. Anonymous3/23/2014

    why are men stupid?

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    Replies
    1. Excuse me...

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    2. Anonymous3/24/2014

      BJ stop using my link to come to WTHC. Go back to work.

      Delete
  18. You know... Life can be really cruel sometimes and in most cases we allow it be... Poster you need Jesus to help you through this times .. Cast your burden at His feet..
    The Bible says the heart of men is desperately wicked.. Don't expect anything less, don't tie your joy around any man.. You saw the signs, you had the Chance to set your self up..
    I will advice you not to go through any legal fight, cos it might devastate you. But if you must, pls do it through women empowerment scheme, so you can have full support...
    Go get your things from him pls... Use all the support from both families, be strong, go get your stuff.. The era of slavering is ended.
    @ 36, there are so many things you can do with your life. Speak strength into your body and move on..
    May the Lord see you through.

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  19. Anonymous3/23/2014

    tnx for d advice

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  20. Anonymous3/24/2014

    Hmm... na wa oh,women don suffer. God will see u thru madam

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  21. Anonymous3/24/2014

    Its a pity madam, u saw d signs earlier nd u ignored it wen he beat u 2 nd lost pregnancy. Women needs 2 wise up! U shuld hv pretended 2 be pregnant again nd just keep collecting money frm him so dat u culd save bt all dat is in d past, u prayed for him favourably then b4 divorcing him pray also dat justice must b done bcos dat is d only time u r bonded with him after d divorce, his new wife nd mother will shield him spiritually then divorce him bt mk sure u gt something from the divorce then move on. This has hap 2 so many woman alas! They hadn't reached their final destination then, so u still hv ur life ahead of u nd thank God u dnt hv a child for him. Pls move on nd pray for urself 2 b favoured nd u will testify 2 d glory of God. Anyman dat doesn't wish for u 2 earn a living in these hard times is selfish nd has ulterior motives so BEWARE ladies.

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  22. Anonymous3/24/2014

    Its a pity madam, u saw d signs earlier nd u ignored it wen he beat u 2 nd lost pregnancy. Women needs 2 wise up! U shuld hv pretended 2 be pregnant again nd just keep collecting money frm him so dat u culd save bt all dat is in d past, u prayed for him favourably then b4 divorcing him pray also dat justice must b done bcos dat is d only time u r bonded with him after d divorce, his new wife nd mother will shield him spiritually then divorce him bt mk sure u gt something from the divorce then move on. This has hap 2 so many woman alas! They hadn't reached their final destination then, so u still hv ur life ahead of u nd thank God u dnt hv a child for him. Pls move on nd pray for urself 2 b favoured nd u will testify 2 d glory of God. Anyman dat doesn't wish for u 2 earn a living in these hard times is selfish nd has ulterior motives so BEWARE ladies.

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  23. Anonymous3/24/2014

    Its a pity madam, u saw d signs earlier nd u ignored it wen he beat u 2 nd lost pregnancy. Women needs 2 wise up! U shuld hv pretended 2 be pregnant again nd just keep collecting money frm him so dat u culd save bt all dat is in d past, u prayed for him favourably then b4 divorcing him pray also dat justice must b done bcos dat is d only time u r bonded with him after d divorce, his new wife nd mother will shield him spiritually then divorce him bt mk sure u gt something from the divorce then move on. This has hap 2 so many woman alas! They hadn't reached their final destination then, so u still hv ur life ahead of u nd thank God u dnt hv a child for him. Pls move on nd pray for urself 2 b favoured nd u will testify 2 d glory of God. Anyman dat doesn't wish for u 2 earn a living in these hard times is selfish nd has ulterior motives so BEWARE ladies.

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  24. Priscy3/24/2014

    Women are really suffering...this poster even saw d demon in her 'boo' and she still stayed. I'm sure if d man had not come up wit divorce, she'll be in dat house till he kills her one day. Now she has lost everything. I don't knw wat advice to even give to her

    BTW...congrats Madam Eya

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  25. Anonymous3/24/2014

    DIS KIND OF STORIES R NOW DAILY HPNS.ESP AMONG OUR ANAMBRA MEN.DEIR WEALTH IS EATN DEIR BRAIN.DEY KIP CHICKS LYK NO MANS BIZ,N IF U D CWIFE CNT ACCEPT IT,LEAVE.ESP IF UR FOLKS R POOR.MTCHEW,

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  26. Anonymous3/24/2014

    DIS KIND OF STORIES R NOW DAILY HPNS.ESP AMONG OUR ANAMBRA MEN.DEIR WEALTH IS EATN DEIR BRAIN.DEY KIP CHICKS LYK NO MANS BIZ,N IF U D CWIFE CNT ACCEPT IT,LEAVE.ESP IF UR FOLKS R POOR.MTCHEW,

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  27. Anonymous3/24/2014

    men are vry funny these days.

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  28. Anonymous3/24/2014

    Poster,WC I'm so grateful. Thanx all for the advice. My parent gt a job for me in both federal ministry and state ministry. I've tkn one out of it. And also Mr Oti is not my boo name i just used his name has oti. As for d divorce he has d money to do d divorce but I don't ve money to get a lawyer is just a friend of my that is helping me. He didn't even allow me to take my belongings in that house. I saw hell. Thank God for my parent,church activities and WC . God bless u all Amen. Aunty Eya congrats ma God bless and protect him for us ma

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  29. My dear, its esterblished dat his. Wild animal,yes put all in prayer n 2 God, but dats 4 d spiritual angle, an d physical u have 2 fight a little not 4 d devorce let d devorce go smoothly,I believe u don't intend 2 continu loving a beast? Put this story in a local mag or news paper make sure dat oda girls parents n fam members gets copies of it including d girl herself maill or send it 2 dem,make ur demands in court,ur life insurance majorly then walk away n strt a brand new life,if d girl likes let her go on, but I tell u d truth while ur life will be taking a sweet turn his will be crashing continiously, pls when he comes begging never u give in.let him rot in hell.

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  30. Mrs Anon3/25/2014

    Praise the Lord for the job. At least u can start from there to sort out ur life. I hope u took away ur certificates? I will advice you to to to a group called Women Rapa (will find out the correct spelling) if you are in Abuja, they handle cases like this for women. If not ask ur lawyer friend about F.I.D.A. in your state , they also handle women's rights issues for free... They can really help. They can even arrange police escort for u to go to that house and pack ur stuff. My friends case it was the state welfare office that she went to report and they gave her custody of the kids and police to go and carry her certificates which she forgot while running out. There is also Office of the Public Defender in most states that can provide free legal services in your state. Go to lawyers around the court and ask questions and they will direct you. It is quite tempting for me to say fight him and frustrate the divorce proceedings, refuse the divorce let him see pepper, as he cannot marry another woman legally without divorce, report him and disgrace him in papers, in his office etc and all that ppl suggested, yes he deserves it, but I don't know if u have the stamina for all that fight or u just want to go and stay in peace away from him.... Moreso such a wicked person can do something to hurt you if he thinks you are standing in his way. Just pray and get free legal representation so that you can also make claims if the divorce is granted. It is your right. May God fight for you in Jesus name.

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  31. Anonymous4/06/2014

    Karma is a wicked bitch! I ve been there once, by the time he will start looking for u anoda better hand don hold u...talking from experience.Time heals every wound, get a good job, get busy everything will fall in place.

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  32. Anonymous5/05/2014

    I will advice you go to embelenbem of 104.5 fm Mpampe. Ordinary Ahmed will fight for you and you will get your entitlement from him. Above all you need to leave the man before he kill you.

    ReplyDelete

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