Married For Seven Years, Fending For The Family With My Earnings While Hubby Works For God. What Can I Do?

Hello sister Eya Ayambem, I love your blog and I've introduced it to a lot of my family and friends and they re hooked.please I need advice from wcm, I've been married for 7 yrs plus with no kids.

Since i married my husband I've been the one fending for us with the job am doing,he doesn't give me money for upkeep cos he does not have, even I've had to buy some basic electronics we need and use in the house cos he can't afford to, I even give him money from time to time..I've had to pay Gynae  tests and drugs prescribed for us.

But the thing is, he is very committed to God,the Lord told him to go to hospitals to be praying for the sick and he is been doing that consistently for 4- 5 yrs now, in church if no one
shows up, he doesn't mind being there alone working, he preaches in buses and anywhere he is, but right now am really fed up and plan to stop fending for him but myself alone but each time I decide that i always have a check in my spirit.sorry for the long post,pls advice a sister

Comments

  1. Anonymous2/18/2014

    Pls continue. Dont be tired since you are sure that the mission is from God. I will advise that he does something by the side, it doesnt have to be a full time job to support his family. Even the bible says that He that cant provide for his family is worst than an infidel. Keep praying for him that God should bless his endeavors.

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  2. Anonymous2/18/2014

    You knew that would be the situation even before you married him non? Try not to think of it as him "not providing" for your family. Spiritual provision is also provision. By the way, the men in the bible who were prophets for the Lord, their wives went through the same thing you did. If this is what God wants him to do , then that's what you have to bear with. Remember that God will not give you more to handle than you can bear. You probably are unhappy because you think "culturally' he should be the one giving you money. But that's not how it always has to be. Every couple is different. What if he was disabled or ill? Wouldn't you still try to help him? Be thankful you have a man who loves God and is working for the Lord. What if you had one of those husbands who wasn't working AND was busy gallivanting about town with other women while you supported him? now THAT would be areal tragedy.
    Please pray about it and ask God to give you peace about the situation. God's will comes before your own. remember that.

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  3. Anonymous2/18/2014

    I don't know what to say cant he get a part time job dat giv him money or do som business than he will stil do his work of god,a man is meant to tak care of his family pls he slud not use work of god to cover up so if u people hav kids u will be d one to tak care of them the bible says where u work u will get from there becos even d work of god he needs money todo it too u didn't say if he is working under a church but if he is they pay them, they gav offering , tetthe,an seed .u hav to tell him how u feel so if u are not there there how will he eat an tak care if him self ,again the bible says a man dat can not tak care of his family he is worst than an home believer won't u tak cak of ur parent too it a very sensitive case u hav to aple wisdom an ask god for direction b.ecos I don't just know what to say but don't ever tell him to leaf d work of god he can do dat an stil work an , n
    Members tak care of thir pastors tak it to god in paryer beco I don't want u to regret tomoorw

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  4. Anonymous2/18/2014

    Culturally and even from the Bible, we are made 2 understand that its the mans responsibility 2 provide. If he's sick or otherwise unable, that's a different matter. He cannot be involved full time and not get paid in church work. To leave u 2 be the one 2 fend for d family alone, is a sin. He should have remained unmarried.

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  5. treasure2/18/2014

    u really need to look for elders who r truly genuine to speak to him. He might think he's doing d right tin since he's working for God. If he fails in his marriage as a man of God then he has failed completely. What does he want to preach to people wit similar experience. The Lord ll open His countenance on u n show u mercy.

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  6. Anonymous2/18/2014

    anonymous 5:06 God bless you

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  7. Ask him to get into full-time ministry work... that's if he's really called by God into full-time ministry.
    Being committed to God's work is not an excuse not to work and fend for your family. Talk to him and advice him to go into full-time or get something to support the family. If he no gree, make you report am to Baba God. You need to prayerfully do this because it seems you were not oblivious of this situation before you said I DO.

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  8. Plz he can still work and do God's work. Praying for the sick after work is ok and preaching in the bus on his way to work is still good. Family is the 1st church biko......

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  9. Yes he should have remained unmarried! Not trying to fend for his family is wrong.. Or does he try and its not forth coming .. Cos that's a diff case. But if he is not trying at all to get a job then that is too bad

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  10. pls don't stop fending for the both of you, or at least speak to him about and if he doesn't start helping out, then you can take whatever decision you want. its really not fair that he married you just to double your workload. God will reward you. he is your strength

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  11. Many times when God speaks to us, we make haste to do as we think. When God speaks there is also a season when you have to ask how? When? Where? Without asking and knowing Gods perfect will many people have lost the cause. What am saying is that many people do things they feel are good. But being good doesn't necessarily mean God is involved. If you notice Jesus went about doing good and healing according to how God lead him. So many people preach in buses and pray in hospitals yet no miracles or people getting saved because God isn't there with them. Pls sit your husband down and talk to him. Pray about this first and let the Holy Spirit give u utterances. The truth is that is its God that sent him with this call and message,

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    Replies
    1. God will sustain him. You both need to talk and go back to the master planner to re plan

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  12. I think your husband is a good man but in this life, it is easy to focus on one thing while neglecting the other, even when the mission is godly. Paul in the bible won over the entire asia minor and he still worked and admonished believers to do the same, Jesus despite his preaching still worked as a carpenter in his fathers workshop, there is a time for everything, i think you should discuss it with him and make him understand that he must not focus on one thing at the expense of another and that you can no longer shoulder everything on your own, he must contribute to the home as a man. Men are commanded by God to take care of their homes and not the woman. You have to use the bible to pit sense into him if it is only bible he understands.

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  13. Anonymous2/19/2014

    Your husband needs to get a job and work to provide for his family. That's all I have to say

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  14. Anonymous2/19/2014

    Pls sister. Talk to ur hubby. He needs to get a job so dat he can support both of u. If nt u will get older then u are. He shuld nt use dat one as an execuse abeg

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  15. poster2/19/2014

    Thank you my Sisters,honestly am overwhelmed with the response i got, we women sure know to look out for each other.we've discussed his finances more than once, he has tried to delve into business several times but always meets a brick wall, but I feel he has relaxed knowing he will always find food on the table. The last one that got me pissed off was taking money from our feeding money to pay PHCN bills, I believe he should have sorted it out and he will not augment when the feeding money gets exhausted. I've decided to feed him from now till the end of June,and if he does not up his game then he is on his own.Am really drained inside out from doings this all this years. Thanks again Ya'all. Massive regards

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    Replies
    1. God is your strength. no one will say you have not tried

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  16. Anonymous2/19/2014

    dear poster, if God truly called him he will give him his backing this might just be a trying period for him for tho the promises may tarry it will surly come to pass please stand by him ur time to smile is around the corner don't give up

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous2/19/2014

      thats if God truly called him oo...check most men of God the will tell u where they started before God lifted dem up Eg. bishop David oyedepo, papa adeboye and the likes

      Delete
  17. Anonymous2/19/2014

    my dear i knw its a burden,but wud u prefer a hubby wu can afford does tins,n still deny u dem,cheats rite in ur face,doesnt pray,punishes u for nt gvn birth wen u r nt GOd.if he cares n treat u rite.u cud help him start smtin no matter hw small,many women wit rich hubby weep daily cos dey dont evn get anytin frm him but oda women do,it cud b very annoyn i knw,but if he gvs u d luv n respect u deserve,dear endure,it wud pass.besides he cud hv moni n start treatn u as thrash or start lukn for a baby mama.

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  18. Anonymous2/19/2014

    my dear i knw its a burden,but wud u prefer a hubby wu can afford does tins,n still deny u dem,cheats rite in ur face,doesnt pray,punishes u for nt gvn birth wen u r nt GOd.if he cares n treat u rite.u cud help him start smtin no matter hw small,many women wit rich hubby weep daily cos dey dont evn get anytin frm him but oda women do,it cud b very annoyn i knw,but if he gvs u d luv n respect u deserve,dear endure,it wud pass.besides he cud hv moni n start treatn u as thrash or start lukn for a baby mama.

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  19. Anonymous2/19/2014

    8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel i tim 5:8

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  20. Anonymous2/19/2014

    Charity begins at home. It is wise for a man to make sure that all is well within the walls of his home before extending charity. What he is doing is wonderful, however, he needs to apply wisdom. After all, it is the man's responsibility to take care of his family. I pray that he receives the clarity and understanding he needs so that while he is fulfilling God's work he will be able to balance it with properly taking care of his family.

    Blessings

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  21. Cleo...2/20/2014

    @Poster, your husband is taking advantage of u! Its high time u go financial strike on him mbok! Did I hear u say u cater for his family too? Plz its high time u stand ur ground about it n make things clear once n for all! Do not postpone.... He's a preacher, fine! But he has to leave to his responsibilities, I love d fact dat he's working for God and d sick, but he need to work or his family too. What if ur Office goes on strike for a long period of time n there's no money coming from ur side, will u all starve n beg for PHCN money? I wish u will use wisdom in addressing dis issue, make him see reasons with u. Actually u r spoiling ur hubby dear and its making him become Lazy!since he's into Humanitarian work, maybe u can help him setup an NGO n make something out of it! God bless

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  22. Our program which aired today on 92.3 inspiration fm Lagos- wivesroundtable on radio - featured a lady who had been seeking to conceive for 7 years. she is heavily pregnant now thanks to a herbal intervention. The natural fertility specialist (who God used to help her) was on the show as well to tell us about their procedures. There have been lots and lots of success stories coming out of that natural medicine hospital and that was why wivesroundtable invited the specialist to come on the program. I hope the poster can get in touch with me so i can give her details about this fertility specialist and lets see how it goes. send a mail to wivesroundtable@gmail.com

    To the issue with her husband, in as much as God is the ultimate priority, a man also needs to take care of the home God has given to him. Like someone said, charity begins at home. You cant be a messiah outside while your home suffers. Its high time you sit him down and tell him that the whole scenario is getting to you and that you cant go on!
    He needs to start living up to his responsibilities, thats what makes a good man. i am very sure God does not want him to abandon his responsibilities in the name of serving him. Good luck and God bless!

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  23. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  24. POSTER2/21/2014

    thanks madam, God bless you, but u did not give me ur own opinion o, but i believe God is in control. thanks again

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  25. Hi, some matters are very sensitive. I think your husband can still add a job to God's work he is doing or go into it full time so he begins to get a salary because right now, he hasn't got it right. The WORD OF GOD SAYS that any man that cannot provide for his family is worse than an infidel. Is he a missionary?

    He is putting you under undue stress and it will show when you begin to age faster than your age. Please have a talk with him. Why didn't he remain single like Paul The Apostle?

    It's wrong to leave his responsibilities for you. I don't think God will be angry at you for withdrawing some finances so he feels the pinch a little.
    Takia

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  26. Anonymous2/21/2014

    Eya, kudos!!!

    ReplyDelete

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