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Another Cheating Husband, Please Advise

Hi Aunty Eya
Pls what should I do?
I have been married for five yrs now and we have a son together.i recently
found out he has been seriously dating a girl and I happen to have stumbled
on their chats and pics of them together.


I have called the girl several times and told her to leave my husband alone.
So I met up with her and told her to leave my husband & she went and told
my husband about it he came home and started shouting, how he has brought
the girl home and gave her stuffs for her birthday and all that.

He also
said he told her to disgrace me anytime i try it again. Did I do wrong by
meeting up with the girl, he gives me whatever I want and doesn't want me
to work...right now he isnt talking to me...Pls what should I do?
Thanks Aunty Eya and pls dont post my id.

Comments

  1. Anonymous2/06/2014

    what are men turning in to? cant just imagine myself in this kind of mess. abeg since he gives you what you want, just be politely asking for more so that you can pay ursef salary o, cuz you can not depend on him solely and dont get pregnant for him again yet o and see how it goes from there. take heart.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous2/06/2014

      But why r d men in d aux nt commenting at all?... Pls we really need to hear frm the men cos it baffles me d way married maen behave dis days.and as for d single ladies dating married men nd nt even puting demselves in d wives position to knw hw dey will feel.. Make una fear GOD oooo.. Cos wot goes around comes back around. Poster its well.. I pray Mother MARY interceed on ur behalf nd GOD see ur through... AMEN.

      Delete
  2. Yes it was dead wrong you meeting up the girl by yourself. Seen the outcome?
    From your story, your hubby is a case on his own.
    Any man that stamps out his woman from working or doing business (both which gives a woman a type of psychological boost) does so for either of this rreasons: a. He so loves his wife, doesn't was t her stressed and is so rich to place her on monthly salary. b. He feels threatened and simply wants to be in absolute control. Truth is, most times the latter is the case.
    Dear sis, my advice is simple but bulky when integrated (which you must do yourself; no space here):
    •Discover yourself - Prayer; build your esteem
    •Protect yourself - use condom to avoid stories
    •Ignore him - Dont bring up this issue for now and let's see how far
    Save. Save. Save coz rainy days must come

    ReplyDelete
  3. Similar case to previous one of husband sleeping with another woman... should she not be advised to leave her home?
    A man that brings girlfriend home and insults you - what can be demeaning more than this?
    All dem single ladies, please watch & pray before you say ‘I DO’. The watching is as important as the praying to avoid stories that touch.
    Poster, upgrade yourself by getting something to do even while at home. Get busy on the internet with value adding activities – online programs is an example. Invest in stocks and bonds, look for services that you can run from home… get very busy that you’ll be so tired at night you’ll land the bed snoring! In all this, commit your hubby & home to God’s land and be good to him. Don’t allow the devil to rejoice by leaving without asking for God to help; He is ready and willing to – just ask Him.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous2/06/2014

    Aunty you better start praying and make sure you have some form of Vex money because this is not normal

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous2/06/2014

    the way i see it your husband knows you are not going anywhere because you dont have your own money so he can do what he likes after all he owns you. Which is the reason why i always tell women to have something doing even if its 10k a month it brings to you at least its yours. Its also something my father has always told me, its very easy to start disrespecting someone who cannot buy common soap unless you give her money for it. I'm sure if you check very well the other girl probably has a job or a source of income so he will not want to mess up with her because he knows deep down she doesnt really need him. Now is this good behaviour on your husbands part? NO! The best you can do is get someone he respects and listens to to talk to him or better still take it to the one who has the heart of kings in HIS hands

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous2/06/2014

    Men oh men,seriously Ȋ̝̊†̥ baffles ♏έ ♓☺w a husband W̶̲̥̅̊ȋ̊ƪƪ βε̲̣ S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴͡ bold as to tell his GF to insult his wife.unto which levels now?#longhiss)...M̶̲̥̅γ̲̣̣̥ dear, U̶̲̥̅̊ Çα̲̅ŋ hand him over to his maker(God)can't understand why a single girl W̶̲̥̅̊ȋ̊ƪƪ βε̲̣ fighting Ŵi̶̲̅τ a married woman over ђε̲̣̣̣̥я̩̥̊ husband.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous2/06/2014

    Hmm men,men,men how many times did I call u people,u men should be careful the way u treat us women oh before power go change hand. Is it because of our decency? As if u people satisfy us well enough in bed to give u guys the ordersity to cheat, it is because of our motherly love for peace and for our children oh,if not una go hear am and to all those useless single ladis without sence that will date a man she clearly know is married what goes around surely comes around. At poster, pls take heart u hear,don't mind him only pray to God to take control.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous2/06/2014

    gud evening pls i need advice my lovly family,my husband havnt touch me either for sex,kiss etc for a year now,he care alot about me and our son bt wen ever i try to make move he alwaz avoid me. Am neat and romantic and our wedding is just one year and two month pls advice me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What???? He hasn't touched you for one year???? Omo this marriage matter na serious matter oo. I'm not even sure if i want to get married anymore. Wow ohh wow!!!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous2/06/2014

      Honestly. .dis marriage matter is serzz ohhh...am beginning to get worried nw sef..habaaa. ..kilode..I dnt wat to say ohhh

      Delete
    3. Anonymous2/06/2014

      Check to be sure he's not gay o! I have a friend like that with exactly the same situation after 1 kid d hubby stopped touching her but she later found out that he was gay. But if he's not then try talk to him about it, his response would tell u what to do next. Be strong

      Delete
    4. Anonymous2/07/2014

      wow..talk to him na, tell him u dont want to cheat on him and u are only human!!!!dont sound judgemental or accusing..

      Delete
  9. Anonymous2/06/2014

    Pls, don't even bother to confront them (d ladies) just take care of ur self n kid then save more 4 d raining day. Pls remember to protect urself o! Always remember him in ur prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  10. the type of shit that women pass through all in the name of marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous2/06/2014

    pls i nid advice wives and mums. Iam 33 and a gd xtian hvnt had a succesfl relationsh. I dnt want sex dats y. Nw my church member who is godly. Gd, kind but nt attractive and small sized wants me 4 a relationshp dat wuld lead to marriage nxt yr. I luv him but i dnt knw wat my pple wuld say. We are big o. Also hes nt cute at all. But has 95 percent godly xter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mchwww... That was what I did after reading your question.
      What do women really want? Na physical beauty you go chop? Wait till one year after your marriage you will tell me what truly matters.
      Sorry to say but this is annoying coming from a matured soul like you.
      Am taller that my king and guess what? He bought all my 5inches heels except the black one. I now feel stupid to think that I ever considered height as a challenge at all.
      If you like leave this guy for what people abi your family will say. When they'll mount hell pressure on upu you'll know what's upup
      Byeee

      Delete
    2. Blossom2/07/2014

      You better hold on to him. Beauty will fade but his true character will remain. I married a handsome dude but after 16 years of marriage, when I look at him, I just can't see the beauty anymore. He put me through hell. But I thank God for his faithfulness towards I and my kids.

      Character is the koko. Forget what people will say. You are the one going to live with him, not them!

      Delete
  12. Anonymous2/06/2014

    @poster confronting d bitch is big no no single frustrated girls n jazz are 5 n 6 be careful o so dat a desperate woman won't harm u or kill u to take ur place ur hubby is d problem nt d girl ignore him for sometime n focus on urself. #### d other poster no sex 4 a year haba somthin is wrong my own is even once a month n see fight n quarrel I called him gay, womanizer etc it didn't work I told him dat sex is no longer part of our marriage after 3wks he came n begged for sex I dealt with him (with my words lol) n turned him down he came again after 1wk I shouted at him come see love n pampering from my hubby since then he begged changed to d extent of washing d kids cloths plates sweepin though not everyday just to win me bk he now comes bk home very early after work today we r one of d most romantic couple get creative dear some men just like stress b4 d learn.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous2/06/2014

    I've got the meanest boyfriend ever. He's making me hate him i swear... I'm waiting for the day i ll become very fed up n leave. He actually taught me that every man is for himself... Even in a relationship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous2/07/2014

      and u are still in the relationship, u still dey wait for the day u will be fed up...hia

      Delete
    2. Why even waste your time in a relationship your not happy in? You're only getting older, not younger. Please be wise.

      Delete
  14. I totally get how u must be feeling, one just needs to stay strong before these men drive one crazy, if there's anything I have learnt is that the man u date is not the one u marry, once they have gotten married to you they change and even though we think our individual guy is different, this always is d case.just stay strong dear and focus on the things that make u happy, continue praying for him and no more confronting d girl, those sluts enjoy watching the harm they create, d least we can do is not give them d satisfaction that they are hurting us, no man can be the focus on of our happiness, no matter how much we wish them to.
    @anonymous-its wrong for a man to use sex as a weapon, just be patient and study him in case its health related, and maybe he's trying 2 protect u, if hes gay, or maybe he's interest in sex has just waned, but all in all, just continue praying.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Well poster if u hav a prob wit ur husband, face him n leav xternal bodies outta it. U hv jst given him an xcuse 2 add insult 2 injury. But com oº° hw wld a man hav d guts 2 tel his wife Dt hiS gf has his permission 2 insult her? Na Wa oº° . God 4bid dt kind of husband. Poster it onlY goes 2 show dt u hv lost ur relevance n hv nuffin 2 offer. U rily hv 2 get tin 2 do. Men luv success and wen he sees u being successful and fulfilled in whteva u r doing, he wld accord u a level of respect.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous2/07/2014

    @ poster who's husband hasn't had sex for a year-are u sure ur hub hasn't contacted d virus n is feeling guilty about possibly imfevting u?...look 4 ways n suggest u both go and get screened.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous2/07/2014

    *sorry infecting

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous2/07/2014

    Chai! is all I can say! Nigerian men giving marriage a bad name! :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous2/07/2014

      na so. Only very few respects marriage.

      Delete
  19. Anonymous2/07/2014

    Pls advice ..last year may was my birthday I was pregnant den, my husband didn't wish me happy birthday talk less of buying a gift,it was just like a normal day to me,I cried anyway, now his birthday is cumin up on d 23 of diz month ..should I get him anything? Should I do as if I forgot? Should I over look all he did
    NB: he hasn't been a good husband n Father to me and my daughter tho pls advice Mi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous2/07/2014

      hp u didnt offend him? Or were u guys quarreling . May b u had offended him and he is revengn. My advice is try to talk to him b4 his bday and c wat he wuld say. If d response is negative. Just tell u dnt lk d way he treatd u and wish him hbd. Abeg leave d gift until u c changes

      Delete
    2. Anonymous2/07/2014

      dont stoop to his level, buy him a small gift and pretend nothing happened. his conscience will prick him

      Delete
    3. @ Anon 6:26, don't stoop 2 his level ooo. Send him a text arnd 12, wishin him a hapi bday. Sing hapi bday 2 him, get him a gift. He'll feel guilty, but he won't voice it out.

      Delete
    4. Once in ur shoes, my 5yrs of marriage my hubby neva bought me gift or wished me a happy birthday but I got his gift for him 3yrs b4 I stopped. Pls get him a gift, send him a text n watch his reaction.

      Delete
    5. Anonymous2/09/2014

      Retaliate and his bad behavior will disappear

      Delete
  20. Going 2 meet d girl is a no no. Ur hubby is d prob, not d girl. N speakin of hubby, I don't wana insult him. But if he respected u he shldnt hav done dat. Its bad enuf dat he's cheating on u, n now he gives his gf d go ahead 2 "disgrace" u. Smh.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous2/08/2014

    Devil is really waging war against the institution of marriage !God help Us

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous2/09/2014

    All you now is prays o serious one and do your normal wife duty i (I know its going to hard) take care of ur body, look really nice, do ur hair and make up, don't let him fine fault in you his looking for an excuse. To say it your fault he went out side, bring back the sparks that brought both of you together before marriage. Sometimes we are the cos of our husband looking out sorry to say had seen lot ,remember what makes him crazy about you try it but don't look too desperate fight for your marriage don't go fighting the chick or you go wake up and you no go see you husband again. And finally when you are all by urself at home kneel down and pray to God. God help you

    ReplyDelete

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