Should I Ignore him? Please Advise Me

Dear Aunty Eya,

Sure you're doing great? Well done with what you're doing with the blog. I've got a problem and here it is: i had an argument with my bf only for him to compare me with his ex. I then replied him saying okay maybe he should go back to her since she gives him the peace of mind i don't give... He replied by stating that yes she did, that circumstances caused their not being together.

I'm in a long distance relationship so i try to give my best and commit myself to it until we're back together. Our argument ensued from me stating what he did that I didn't like. He said I 'stalk' him....(which I don't by the way). He's also fond of saying hurtful words to me each time we argue.

My question now is: should i let this guy go since he thinks his ex is better than me? By the way he said he's not sorry for what he said that he meant it. Should I forgive him and act like nothing happened? I love this guy and want the best for him but is it okay for him to state things like that? When we first met he mentioned how open i am that his ex isn't like that. That he was constantly wondering what was on her mind. I don't know how to hold a grudge. I prefer we talk things out each time we're both displeased. am i wrong?

Comments

  1. Anonymous10:09

    If he is comparing you to his ex then he is not over her. There is nothing for you to forgive since clearly he is not sorry. I'm sure you don't want to end up with someone who sees you as second best, a failed relationship is better than a failed marriage. Frankly speaking I would have called it off the minute he made that statement

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous10:15

      He is not serious

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    2. Kachi10:42

      I totally agree with u anonymous 10:09, its very wrong to compare u to his ex. Part of him still wants her back and he don't respect u for saying such a thing.

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    3. Anonymous13:28

      Sorry to deviate from the tooic but pls I need advise fron your readers aunty eya, I normally dont go thru my hubbys phone but I did cos for 3weekends straight he was always travelling without any proper explanation. So wen I checked gis WhatsApp I saw alot of girls he chats with calling sweet names but one caught my eye she is a friend to my sister and so I sent her a msg with his phone telking her it was me and tgat she is very stupid ti use such nam3s in my husband only for her to call my sis and say she shld warn me that if she wanted to destroy my home she would have years back and dat my hubby is her first love and plenty stories so I beta watch my mouth after I heard this it took me a week to tell my husband I talked to him calmly and asked if there was smt am doing wrong and all that he said he has heard and he will get back to me with his reply and its been 3days we haven't talked he didnt even say sorry or explain or defend himself nothing. This man has been giving me emotional torture since I married him and am so tired. Pls what do I do am so confused

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    4. posted on the blog.

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  2. forget him and move on with your life.it happened to me once and i did the same.any man that can just so rude do not worth such headache from you.such attitude are even worst when they know you love them so much and feel you ca not leave on the planet earth without them.sweetheart prove the maga wrong while u still have the chance to do so

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  3. Anonymous12:20

    I can bet with my lunch that he is talking about me. But, i have gotten over him, so he should move on

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  4. ADDY12:51

    This your BF does not really love u, am sure he met u when he had issues with his girlfriend and now he is only using u to get over the situation that is why he keeps comparing u with her when ever there is an argument. i think you should give him a break.
    cheers.

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  5. Anonymous14:31

    babe,wat do u nid advice for?a man wu openly told his ex is betta dan u.if u r courtn n his dis rude,paint d picture wen u get married n dnt hv anyway out.dnt mk d mistake i made.if he doesnt change nw,dnt tink he wud late cos he wud oly get worse.

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  6. LEAVE! You desrve someone that will treat you right1 qaQ

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  7. Anonymous16:43

    Thank you everyone. I broke up with him this morning but he's been begging saying he's sorry. That he loves me and that it's me he wants to be with. That he only said it to spite me. I'm confused!

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous16:44

      Poster

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    2. Anonymous06:35

      He's yet to get over his ex and trust me, if he has any chance to make up with her, he will so fling you. please help yourself and let go else you will end up posting here in a few years how your hubby started dating his ex immediately after you had a child.

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    3. good for you honey, don't even consider taking the wretch back. every woman deserves a man that will treat her like a queen.

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  8. If u can, threaten him, act like u want out too. If he doesn't try to get in touch with you, gobz!

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  9. I feel like saying "forgive him" but ...what if he repeats it to spite you next time you have an argument? He might have learnt his lesson and may need a kind of warning. I really don't know the right thing to do now.

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  10. Anonymous17:11

    babe move on
    comparing you with a chic outside is understandable,but with an ex,my dear he is not for you
    God will give you yours

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  11. Pls I wld really need to post a blog on ur site very urgently, cos I need advice, but I jst don't know how to go about it. I just came across d site today and I really loved it. Wld love to get a reply from u as soon as possible. Tnx alot Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I could not reply this mail cos it won't deliver. If you are the sender, please send your story as a mail to cuulme@gmail.com and it w'd be published here on the blog.

      Delete
  12. Angel17:20

    If he is truly sorry, please forgive him. There is no perfect guy out there. Let him know that the day he repeats that rubbish will be the end of that relationship.

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  13. Anonymous19:22

    U said u really love him,but d question is does he love u in return?cos if he does he will not say his ex is better dan u.I have been der n trust me it was crazy

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  14. yea, he will say ANYTHING now just to win you back so do not fall for all that. YES it will be painful and you may cry but it is way better!. you deserve someone that thinks you are THE VERY BEST and not second or third best.

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  15. Anonymous22:10

    My dear if your two legs are still with you, run for your life. I had a similar case with my Bf (now my hubby) but I forgave him, now we are not up to 2years in marriage, and I'm so tired of the whole thing. He makes me feel bad most of the time, always wants to make me feel like "I am nothing and worthless". The only consolation I have is my son that gives me joy. These are signs, if u have ears hear o

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  16. Anonymous09:05

    tell him u hv 4gven him but u are nt interestd in d relationshp. Abi no b 4orgiveness him want? Abeg sum men can b vry stupid. Imagine d nonsense!

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  17. Anonymous09:26

    my dear, its going to get worse with time, think well if you can endure it at the end, forget the begging oh

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  18. Anonymous18:44

    U seem to be talking about my ex bf ( I can almost swear its d same guy)
    He always try to brk my spirit wit words, he wil be making me feel like he is doing me a favor by dating me, he told me several times dat his ex is d best gf he has eva had(can u imagine dat?) And dt I am not his only gf dat we ar many on d queue, I broke up wit him several times bt he wil com begging on his knees wit tears, bt ds time around no going bak iJn, Dare ur case dey court o , I suffered emotional abuse in ur hands til I became emotionally drain, God is d juge btwn us. Tank God I'm wit a beta person now dat treats me like a queen,
    @ poster ds man can never change, stop wasting ur time, he will always com bak to beg u wenever u try to leave, bt be firm in ur decision.

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  19. Anonymous18:44

    U seem to be talking about my ex bf ( I can almost swear its d same guy)
    He always try to brk my spirit wit words, he wil be making me feel like he is doing me a favor by dating me, he told me several times dat his ex is d best gf he has eva had(can u imagine dat?) And dt I am not his only gf dat we ar many on d queue, I broke up wit him several times bt he wil com begging on his knees wit tears, bt ds time around no going bak iJn, Dare ur case dey court o , I suffered emotional abuse in ur hands til I became emotionally drain, God is d juge btwn us. Tank God I'm wit a beta person now dat treats me like a queen,
    @ poster ds man can never change, stop wasting ur time, he will always com bak to beg u wenever u try to leave, bt be firm in ur decision.

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  20. So sad....am glad ur not married to him yet so you can salvage the situation . Give him some space to purge his ex from his system

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  21. mrs anon12:07

    The begging is an afterthought pls. Ppl say their true feelings in anger. He told you he wasn't sorry for what he said and he meant it remember. Tell him u have forgiven him but it will be better u give urselves space to be with other people and see. You deserve better than 2nd fiddle pls. There is someone who will worship the ground u walk on. Don't settle for less or u will live a life of regrets.

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