I Feel My Time Has Come, Confused on Making A Choice

Good morning Aunty Eya! I hv come again with another dilemma,pls help me post this, hide my contact pls. Thanks!
  I hv been dating my bf for 5months,he is a great guy,caring and all dat,buh sometimes he could be insensitive n we hv problems communicating(cos am d quiet n shy type),sometimes I feel like a dulling him. He is a lecturer @ one of d eastern universities,though it's a temporary job,buh he hasn't been lucky with finding anoda job,he also intends to go for his phd if he is lucky to get funds frm ETF.


  2months ago,I got talking wit anoda guy, he saw me in church,n got my numba frm his mum. He is also a lecturer in England,and also running his Phd programme. He is also a great guy,caring n homely. He came bk for xmas to see me,n d 2wks he was around he has really been great. I talk wit him on phone more than I talk with my bf. Yesterday he told me abt his intention to come bk april,to ask for my hand, buh I turned him down on d grounds dat I had a boyfriend,who I know is nt really ready to settle down,cos he has a lot On his table,n I hv jst been so worried if I made d wrong decision. 


My mum is nt really comfortable with
me dating my bf, bcos of his job. Dy r both great guys,though I hvn't known d 2nd guy very well,buh d little to I spent wit him were really great, n my close friend who went out with us,told me l8r dat she fell in love wit d guy for my own sake. 

Pls I need ur advice, should I agree to d 2nd guy if he pushes further,or shld I stick with my bf n pray things get beta wit him. I hv dis serious desire to get engaged dis year(hv even dreamt how it wld be) I will be 24 dis year,am nt desperate to settle down,jst feel my tym has come,wit plenty suitors here n dere. Sorry for the long post,pls bear wit me pls! Need honest advice pls, Thanks a lot,God bless.

Comments

  1. Anonymous1/11/2014

    Well! There's no guarantee that the guy here will eventually pop the question if you miss the other guy plus communication is very important in a relationship.

    Firstly, I don't even think you're in love with your bf. You just want to settle down and that's all that matters to you else you won't start considering the proposal of someone you barely know.

    But then those are mere observations. You have to follow your heart.

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  2. If the other guy push forward, say yes...but get to know him and his family.

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  3. Fyn Ijebu Chic1/11/2014

    Abeg make I laff.....
    Hehehehehheheheheh
    Do u know what love is?
    If u don't, go and dust ur bible and read it wella.
    Relationship is about love, trust, faithfulness and commitment.
    Nobody is perfect and u myt be surprise dat the great communicatot is a hoax.
    Go back to your drawing board and draw a plan for ur lyf.
    Is everytin abt getting married.
    Abeg, date, court and enjoy(nt fornicate ooo) b4 saying I do.
    Search ur heart, u know the choice to make

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  4. Babe 4 future purposes, never say NO to a guy u think u like enuf to settle down with permanently boyfriend or not. Instead u stall d person that is proposing, while u try n make a decision by seeking advice, studying d person more n most especially praying to God. As long as u r not sleeping with d person or taking lots of money from d person, never outrightly say NO. Afterall even men understand it takes women time to make a decision. For this ur present predicament, I advice u to take ur time n weigh both of them. Give d other guy chance to talk u again. If he really likes u, u having a boyfriend will not stop him, afterall he wants to marry u.

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  5. Anonymous1/12/2014

    New relationships r usu always sweet n catching. Better dont make mistakes out of desperation. U need to calm down, be wise.

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  6. Anonymous1/12/2014

    Thanks everyful for ur advice,I appreciate,buh still need more advice pls, Aunty Eya ur's too o pls!

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  7. Anonymous1/12/2014

    Everyone*

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  8. Anonymous1/12/2014

    You probably thinking of what you can get from marriage thats why you want to quickly settle wit any nice guy even if you barely knw him..
    Relationship is about two people committed to working together to get the best out of themselves..
    Why are you rushing a 5months relationship to turn to Marriage. Hence why are you in a rush to settle down.. Relationship is give n take. You are only thinking of what you can get from ur relationship/marriage, not you have got to offer? Better build urself n ur career.. Who says the temporary job ur bfrnd has now wnt be a full tym job or a better offer comes along... Relationship is a two way thing. It involves two matured adults.. So take ur time, date court n get to knw ur man! Why the rush when it's a life time journey. so you better be careful. Marriage is not a competition..

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  9. I know what you feel right now, I was in a relationship when I met my husband and yes the communication with my boyfriend changed because I started talking to my husband more and yes people say they do not believe in love at first sight but I immediately fell inlove when I met him( though we had been talking for like two month before we saw each other)
    It is a very dicey situation when you are with someone you love and meet another person you love and all those areas that do not go down well with you in your relationship are sorted very well in the other( Not necessarily financial)... I also went through the phase of telling my hubby I had a boyfriend and he gave me space ehn! ( you have no idea)
    Let me cut my story short jor, my friend told me something that stuck when I was in the dilemma , when you start thinking if you should leave your boyfriend for another guy, then that relationship is headed for doom( I mean the present relationship with your boyfriend) that is if this new guy dont break it, someone or something else could).
    You are young and there will be more guys and it is okay if you keep your options open(i am not saying date every guy), just enjoy the friendship , keep talking to different people and finally stick to a guy you are yourself with, you love and that makes you happy. It may not even be that England lecturer, check him out, get to know everything you need to, ask questions and after sometime ask again, so if he is a liar, the story will not be consistent and google is your friend, google him up and you could find out a lot of things...Also dont allow him dazzle you with marriage in April, take your time and get to know each other...I would love to say more dear but i wish you the best! Dont forget to pray about it... very important.

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  10. Anonymous1/13/2014

    Marriage is not something that you seek advice for, people always do this but it's so wrong. What you should do when suitors starts coming is to pray & hand it over to God, cos HE created us all & even knew us before we were born so HE's the only One that knows who your husband is, when you follow ur heart or follow people's advice you might end up with the wrong person cos they're just advising u based on ur story, they can't see the person's heart & what's in it, secondly u might also b lucky & end up with the right person, but y should u b playing dice with ur life. pls go & pray & let God's will for ur life b done. God's blessings maketh rich & added no sorrow. God bless u.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous1/13/2014

      not every one can hear frm God my dear. Only those dat are truly godly and open. So seekn advice is nt bad.

      Delete
  11. Anonymous1/13/2014

    my dear, please and please dont settle for less oh, if you don't really love your boyfriend, let him go now. its better to marry who loves you more than u love him cos marriage is hard enough as it is, and this love is what will see you guys thru the tough times, its easy for we girls to fall in love, harder for guys so be careful dear...speaking from experience

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  12. Anonymous1/14/2014

    My dear, all dat glitters is not gold. Dis days guys come pretendin 2 a lady all bcos dey want 2 get married 2 her n after d marriage, u get 2 c dier tru color. Pls, do not be in a hurry. Let God lead u, money is not evrything. D bible says 'Seek ye first d kingdom of God n his righteousness n every oda thin shall b added unto u' includin a good husband. So just talk 2 God abt it n believe me he'll speak 2 u. Der r many ways he speaks 2 us; It could be thru supernatural revelations which is d bible, it could be thru prophecies, our conscience, natural abilities, people, visions, dreams, thru a small voice, thru correction n many odas. Bt whichever way he speaks 2 u, do not shut ur ears against him. I wish u luck

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  13. Anonymous1/16/2014

    Thanks a lot every1

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  14. Anonymous1/16/2014

    BUt seriously @ 24 why doo u feel it must be this yr. That sounds desperate to me

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  15. Why are u desperate. Calm down o at 24 ur confused on who to get married to. My advice is get to know the guys in question more before taking any decision and ur conscience could be ur direction.

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