Just Moved Back In With My Parents, Am I Wrong?

Good day Eya,
I pray you get to see this early and post early because I am in a really confused and angry state of mind now. My husband and I were married for almost a year without a child and although he kept telling me not to bother,I did bother and cry to God because he would misbehave (cheat) and when I found evidence would tell me that I should be concerned about important issues which of course I knew the meaning.

Fast forward to now, just a few weeks to our anniversary, my God answered me but my husband wasn't excited,he beat me twice during the early stage of the pregnancy.

He believes in
the don't talk back to me approach of life, meaning I shouldn't explain myself even when he accuses me fasely. My family and friends find this irritating but he refuses to change. To save my home,I learnt to trim my mouth.people insult me for becoming a mumu.

I'm almost due now and problem is I keep catching him doing funny stuvs on 'what's up and it upsets me.Last week we had a serious argument just three days after I had sleepless nights staying by his side in a clinic as he had malaria.he has a female tailor who has guys sewing clothes under her.they never make the clothes on time or spoil the style,use washable threads,wrong designs,etc and what pained me last time was that they delayed the cloth and she instructed them to change the style without consulting my husband.

I told him that he had earlier promised to stop using her,I introduced him to a tailor used by most men who love fashion here but he still went back to her.

We were 'holidaying' at Dubai two months ago and guess who called our line?said my husband's friend gave her the number.her excuse was that we should help deliver her wedding gown to her! After two other calls,she said we should help her buy certain items,I told my husband it wasn't going to happen.I know he spoke to her because she stopped calling.

We just keep having arguments,he acts nice today then cruel tomorrow.tell him he doesn't satisfy you,not just sex,show me,buy cards,take me out,kiss me and carress me because those are better than sex yet he won't. He wakes up daily by 5am , heads to toilet with his phone and when I sneak up on him he says he is blogging and reading updates.

well,days ago found out he was chatting with a suppose ex girlfriend!not even up to 6am! People including some friends he has separated from now have said he married me because of my family wealth and my job (we work in the same company) but I ignored them.the story many.

Bottom line is I started having contraction that day but thank God I was given drugs and all and getting better.my dad has never interfered in our marriage but because he cried that day out of fear of losing his grand child,he said I should move back to their house,my husband can come too just so we don't kill ourselves or hurt the baby.

my husband hasn't come to see me,called only once and when I told him my stand,he abandoned me.he is never there when am down or ill even when I had an operation.I'm confused because even my friends know how he begged everyone until I agreed to marry him and now this.

By moving in with my parents,I feel I'm protecting my baby or am I wrong?

sorry this is long but I even reduced the talk.please guys advice me.


  1. Its good that you moved out for your safety and that of your unborn child. My advice now. You should go back to the manufacturer of the product (God) pray like you have never prayed before ask Him to intervene in your marriage and I know God will answer you. Secondly, if need be you involve your spiritual parents. It is well with you. You will sure enjoy your marriage in Jesus name. Amen.

  2. Anonymous12/14/2013

    I don't think u did the wrong thing! Ur life and that of d baby is important for now! U can go back after delivery! But try to reconcile wiv him before ur delivery!
    It is well.

  3. Mrs_Rango12/14/2013

    I honestly think ur hubby married you just cos of ur parents wealth cos there's no single respect in d marriage! He has no respect or love 4 u frm d story uv jx said and that has to change! Furthermore,dis idea of kipn quiet&nt talkn weda his right or not is NOT gud! Trust me,I was 1ce like u&my hubby took me 4 a ride up until I opened up to his family&mine on wat has bn goin on! I also packed out of d house&went to my father's house. 2wks afta,he came beggn,I gave him a piece of my mind&tld him hw tinz r goin to go frm nw on&he listened! Its time 4 u to wake up! Its gd as u left to ur parents house. U nid a breather! Save ur lyf&dt of ur baby. Marriage is nt a do or die affair! If it aint workn,get out b4 u die inside all in d name of love! If dt man truly luvs u,he'l come bk beggn! U r still very young&can even remarry if u want! Make him undastnd dt u can do without him,hv ur baby,takia of ur baby&get ur life bk in order. Belv me he'l come crawln on his kneels! If he doesn't come bk dn u kno d marriage wsnt meant to be. Moreso I'd suggest u pray cos derz notin God cannot do! Cry for God&tell him to direct ur actions! Let God b ur guide not humans

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  5. Anonymous12/14/2013

    Let's all calm down, the bible says a man is the head of the home, again two captains cannot ride a boat. The truth about men is they don't like it when women mks dem feel dey aint man enof. My dear poster pls treat ur husband like a king if u want a happy home, also mind ur tone wen talking to him, belive me men HATE it wen women shout at them. Respect ur husband fully and keep pride away, and see d excellent result there after...Its well with u.

    1. Anonymous12/14/2013

      Didnt u read where she said she learnt to trim her mouth and stopped talking back.
      A kings wife is a queen right?
      Is the man treating her like a queen?
      SMH to u.

    2. The way some people talk amazes me; from the narration above, I can't see where she was proud, talked back or treated her husband less a man. Smh4u

    3. Anon 12:23 your response is ridiculous. The poster stated that her husband beat her. There is no excuse for that. The poster said that her husbands cheats, there's no excuse for that either. Clearly the husband has a very big problem and doesn't love her or respect her. Poster, please pray and take care of yourself. Don't try to force anything that wasn't meant to be in the first place. God will show you the way.

    4. Anonymous12/14/2013

      @anon 12.23,we live in portharcourt and I know how many wives behave there but I don't act that way because I really wanted the marriage to work.even if portharcourt men misbehave,they still take their wives out for treats and all.I don't get all that but I remain humble.Igbo men treat their wives like gold,all I ask for is little regard like my co-igbo women.

    5. Anonymous12/14/2013

      Pls do me a a favour. ..keep your unnecessary advice to your self..and next time pls read the post properly before you start commenting.

    6. Anon 12:23, Did you even bother to read this post? Pls read it again and then comment.

  6. Truly I don't think people should be married out of obligation but it seems you made the choice yourself. You made the right choice. Take care of your child at your parent's house. Regain your strenght go back as a strong, independant and attractive woman. Maintain your self-esteem and individuality. Don't be insecured about his acts, just be patient and fake happiness. One day he'll screw up himself and will come back so low and submissive. I know men and I've been a man all my life. Just trust me on this!
    Jdy last posted...14 Dating Mistakes That Make You Look Dumb

  7. Anonymous12/14/2013

    This story sounds familiar... I hope its not my friend dat wrote else it would be one hell of a coincidence.

  8. Dear Anon 12:23 PM this your comment is standing on one leg. As much as you'll feel we haven't heard from the man and you suspect poster is trying to favor herself, I need you to remember one thing " a woman is naturally selfless".
    Yes am a believer "wives submit to your husbands..." but remember "husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church" Jesus loved us while were yet in the world.
    A man bound to be stupid, not even a doormat wife can change him. It takes the Holy Spirit and his will to do so.
    If in less than a year and with pregnancy this young man decided to will himself to distractions to the point of danger, I support this temporal separation till his oblongata is well much reset/formatted.
    Ain't gon be easy but please relax for your unborn child coz if anything happen this dude will shift to any side chick in a year. Immerse yourself in the Word of God and prayers. Watch christian programs and you can check this sights www.saveamarriage.com lifescript.com/life/relationship m.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201303/marriage-problems-heres-8-step-rescue-plan . Be sure to surround yourself with women who are succeeding in their marriages and not those who'll tell you "your husband is a fool" coz remember it takes a fool to marry a fool. While dealing with his mess remember to be positive about it and speak what you want to see and not want the enemy is making you see in him now.

  9. dear postet,it's only God you can turn to at this time and I know that He never leaves nor forsake. Just trust Him and I know you will have a testimony.

  10. Anonymous12/14/2013

    @anon 12.23 you are stupid for your comment....

  11. Anonymous12/14/2013

    Sadly my dear he only married you for your father's wealth.

  12. brooklyn12/14/2013

    Anon 12:23 ur husband wil use u to clean his bumbum m nt even sure u read ds post mayb u only jus read d comments.my darlin poster d key of cos u know it prayer.while u r in ur parents pray very hard my luv praaaay.may God strengthen u in all u in do.nd yes u did a right thing by movin out

  13. the best12/14/2013

    What attracted you to him and why did you decide you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him?

  14. Anonymous12/14/2013

    What a man! I would stay in my parent's home and never go back to that man. Ef him and his woman tailor!

  15. No, you are not wrong. You need to be somewhere that people can take good care of you. At least for now.

  16. Fyn Ijebu Chic12/15/2013

    Poster, ur dad reminds me of myn(God rest His soul)
    The only person who cries when I am sick.
    I am not married so I do not have a lot to say.
    My advice is to love yoursef very well(if u dnt and u say u love anoda, na lie!!!). Even the Bible supports this.
    If you love yoursef, u'll rather stay with ur parents where ur peace of mind is topmost priority.
    Stay till ur husband get his senses back(I'll rather assume he lent someone)
    Much love!!! Muah!!!!

  17. Anonymous12/15/2013

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    1. Fyn Ijebu Chic12/15/2013

      Who be this one?
      Oya disappear *in oshiomole's voice*

  18. Some guys are just pathetic. As if cheating on ur wife isn't bad enough you raise your filth hands and beat her. #deepsigh.
    @Poster, pls pray continuously. Pray like never before. Nurture ur pregnancy and try not to go into depression. The devil will bring crazy thoughts to your mind but I will advice you to study your bible(u r a Christain I guess) because that is GOD'S manual and same will help u deal with situations/challenges when they arise. Ask GOD for wisdom in dealing with the situation.
    Also people will gossip. Try not to be bothered because your life and safety is more important than the type marriage you are in.
    GOD'S Grace.

  19. Good morning all,I really want to thank you all including aunty Eya.your encouragements and advice really really helped me carry on. I finally spoke out to my pastor and in-laws and they were very shocked and upset with him. We are in the process of reconciliation and I intend backing it up with prayers.I guess I relented in my prayer life ever since I conceived but I want to thank you all for putting me back on track. Please Jeannette, Jesus is the only way,not charmers or any fettish means. May God bless everyone of you.amen


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