We Are Not Members Of The Same Church, My Family Is Not In support

Pls Aunty Eya,I need u to post dis 4 me n I need urgent reply.Pls dnt Include my name.I just met a man I truly love n care deeply about.Before we started,He begged me not to tink of leaving him nor breaking his heart cos his heart had been broken by his previous relationships. 

But d problem here is we r not members of d same church. My church does not believe in getting married to a non- member n I do not want to go to anoda 1( Pls dnt judge me on dis) I lost my father @ a young age n my Pastor was d 1 who helped me get to where I am today.I've come to take him as my father n seek his consent in all I do.

My late father has no relatives n we only associate with members of my Mum's family who also attend d same church as mine.I'v had two suitors 4rm my church,1 is uneducated n works 4 an individual,d oda has a nine year old son outside marriage. Both do not appeal to me in anyway.I indirectly mentioned d person I love to my Pastor n immediately he knew he's not our member, He said( my hand no dey) none of my
mum's relative support it. 

What do I do now cos I'm so CONFUSED N DEPRESSED.Do I get married to him witout anyone standing by me, or do I wait 4 another person n end up breaking d heart of d one I love and mine as well?
Did I say dat age is not on my side( In my thirties) n I need to settle down ASAP. All my siblings have gotten married. Pls do not rain curses on me,I need sincere advice.


  1. •Omalicha•11/09/2013

    What do you want from life?A happy marriage with someone that makes u happy and vice versa...OR satisfying your father figure,family nd church members,etc. Pls my dear,what do you want? The last time I checked,there was only ONE GOD.If your pastor believes in that,then he knows also that the fact that you fell in love with someone from another church doesn't make him an infidel.PLS wht DO YOU WANT IN LIFE??

    1. Will you just go ahead and marry this man you love? Don't you ever displeaSe yourself to please others.

  2. Anonymous11/09/2013

    Is that a church or a cult,hope your pastor and family members will live your life when you finally get married to church member.

  3. Anonymous11/09/2013

    Is that a church or a cult,hope your pastor and family members will live your life when you finally get married to church member.

  4. Anonymous11/09/2013

    My dear poster pls go and watch a movie call christian marriage am sure u will learn so much.

  5. Anonymous11/09/2013

    Pls where was is written in d bible dat u must get married 2 some1 in ur church. if that is a true bible Believing church ur pastor will pray 4u n tell u 2go ahead.some churches now ehnnn God help us all.@poster hmmmm seriously I don't know what 2say anymore.but mind you wen y get married ur pastor or family members will not be der wit u so think of your future very well

  6. Anonymous11/09/2013

    As in seriously. .dnt know wat to say to u ohh without overtukin..
    So cos hes nt a member of ur church ehen . Is church nw a cult society dat u must belong to d same fraternity?. .isn't God our standard dat we shud follow..follow God nd ur heart ohh..God has d final say nt nyone else. ..u cnt please everyone in life..trust mi even if it means takin hard decisions....ma sister think well wat do u want out of life?dis life sef I tire ohh

  7. Anonymous11/10/2013

    @poster u said u ar in ur Thirties right,still dey listen 2ur pastor till u reach 40 or 50 ohhhhhhh.pls don't get me wrong I'm not saying u should listen 2ur pastor but come on!! what kind of church is that.I thought we were all serving 1 and d same God

  8. Most pastors insist on their church members choosing their partners from d same church. It is 4 their own selfish reasons. So they can multiply in number. Dont let them use 2 increase church population but u wont break away like a rebel. Bring d guy close 2 ur family & let them see d good qualities in him. D both of u can gradually win them over. Dont sacrifice ur love & happiness 4 anybody. Would they rather see u marry d single dad or d illiterate & be unhappy d rest of ur life?

  9. Anonymous11/10/2013

    What is d population of the church? What kind of church and Pastor is that. Pray to God to make His way plain about your marriage. Look for happiness and not satisfying your Pastor and family

  10. Anonymous11/10/2013

    Ermmm did you not know you couldnt marry him before you started dating him? What did you think wiuld happen. And secondly that church acts like a cult and is not good news.

  11. Anonymous11/10/2013

    I am a Christian, my wonderful husband is a Muslim. We are happy, I choose him, I am the living with him. So my dear you must stand up for what you want, you are the one to stay in the marriage not them, so in future when you have misunderstanding you know how to handle it because you married a man you love and understand. THE GOOD LORD WILL DIRECT YOU. AMEN

    1. Anonymous11/10/2013

      Really???? Christian married to a Muslim??? I hope you know that you are not a Christian because you go to church??? If you became a Christian after marriage - no problem. All the same, I wish you continuous peace in your home...
      Poster - it is dangerous to marry without your 'parents' consent. Find a way to convince your parents. However, I think you need to move out from that group - liberate yourself. Your future and happiness is your responsibility.

    2. How were you wedded bcos my boyfrnd is a muslim too

  12. Anonymous11/10/2013

    Na Jehovah witness. They dnt marry non-members.

  13. Anonymous11/10/2013

    My dear u have to convince ur parent n pastor that, is ur happiness that matters here. In marriage u are the only person to carry the cross. Honestly, if u love the guy sincerely forget about the church we are serving the same God. Choose wisely! Psiky

  14. Its definitely Jehovah Witness or a cult disguised as a church.

    1. Sorry toburst your bubble but if u really had done any type of deep research,u would have known that JW's don't have pastors or deacons or any of those self imposed titles that churches give to themselves.
      Thank you and now make a constructive comment.

  15. Poster, do you go to a Christian Church? Is your boyfriend a christian? I don't understand why your Pastor would just want you to get married to someone from your church. It's not normal. Bring your boyfriend close to your family and if they still find fault with him solely because he's not a member of your church, that's no a good reason for you not to marry. I pray that God will guide you in the right direction because believe me, your happiness is what's important. If your family is looking out for your well being, they will think the same way.
    If you get married to him without their consent, eventually they will come around and accept it. This whole thing is not fair to you, but God will make a way.

  16. The cruellest sin you can commit on this earth is sinning against yourself. Don't follow the crowd, lead your life. You find a love, stay with it. Stick to it, and it's going to stick to you. People will talk, and even when you don't follow your heart, they'll still talk. So step out of the shell and be in love with who you want to be with. You're old enough to be yourself and stand firm without any one trying to say no to your yes.
    Jdy last posted...What Guys Notice About You First

  17. Anonymous11/11/2013

    Well you can take the "ruth" approach. "his people will be your people" and his church your church. Otherwise, grow some balls. You can't stay in a church because of the people. THose people won't get you into heaven. If your hubby won't join your cult...i mean church, then think about what's more important to you . staying in that church for the sake of it's people. or finding a church where you actually can do God's work. While you're busy being in the cult, I'm sure they'll find a husband for you among your "people"

  18. "There are 2 factors that CAGES a Man for life

    (1) Government
    (2) Religion

    Albert Camus"
    -end of qoute-

    In your case, religion is it.
    My Advise is.... Do God's bidding not that of man or society!


  19. Anonymous11/11/2013

    please what is the name of your church? cos I don't understand why u cannot marry from another church. all you have to do is to pray for God to touch their heart. all the best.

  20. Anonymous11/11/2013

    Dear Poster,follow ur heart,so far he is a xtian,pastors who do these do it for their own selfish purpose,do wat will make u happy,wat of if u marry from ur church n d man treats u badly?marrying fro the same church is not a guarantee for happy peaceful home, sit ur family down and have a heart to heart discussion wit them, I wish u all d best

  21. Follow your heart.
    Marry for love and not to please your family.

    Why don't you invite him over and let your people see him. If you marry him, I hope you know you'll be going to his church except if he's open minded and allows you continue going to yours but I fear your church people and family might influence you against him later on.

    Ask GOD to reveal his will regarding you too.

  22. Anonymous11/11/2013

    I think d church is Depperlife , or Assemblies of God. Or may be choosen morpol. It may be one of these!. Poster wat is d name of ur church? I pity u o. I weep 4 u 2. Until u marry d wrong person ur eyes go clear.


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