My Husband Enjoys Chatting With Women On Social Networking Sites :(

Good day aunty Eya,am the lady that called you two days ago around 8pm.
I asked you to advice me coz my husband is giving me serious headache.I don't  have anyone to talk to about this issue.my hussy likes chatting with women so much on Bb,facebook,whatsApp,Badoo ,,,,,,the worst is that he will always tell them how

beautiful they are.when ever he's been caught he will beg me and promise  not to do it again but b4 you could say"knife"he will commit another one ,for this year it's even more than 11times.

 The current person now is a Yoruba lady a married woman for that matter she's been chatting  with him on Facebook and whatsapp she was asking him why he refused to call her and sent her BB pin to him asking him to add her.

I he'd asked him what he has with these women and he said nothing. Am even tired of his lies and everything.

pls what do I do?I just want all this nonsense to stop and right now I have a 10 weeks old baby with me.
Help me please. Wha should I do?

Comments

  1. Anonymous19:22

    Sorry ma'am , is d bane of d day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's a shrine at Omambala in anambra state, let's go there to pray for the downfall of BBM, facebook, Badoo and Whatsapp cos as long as dey exist this matter no fit get end!

      Anyway! Like nigerians will always advice... Pray, Pray, Pray!





      Delete
  2. Anonymous19:27

    Please start praying for your husband. Thus could be a spiritual attack. Pray agressively. Pls don't nag him. Talk to him with love and ask him if there's something you sre doing wrong. And also please dress well even when you are at home. Try to look good as it seems your husband likes that. Praised your husband, maybe the those ladies are making him feel important. Speak to the king in him. May God help you as you seek His face.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous21:46

      sorry i meant ' praise your husband'...tell him he looks good and stuffs like that.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous11:17

      Hmmmmm my dear I am in the same dilemma . Exactly your complaints. Facebook, badoo, whatsapp,bbm. Mine is so addicted to these chicks that u would be asking why he even got married. The last one I saw on his whatsapp I decided to end d relationship(marriage) he cried his eyes out and begged me all through. I have given him d last chance I told him should he continue in this shameless act I will divorce him or follow suit. I will start chatting up guys women on those platforms. I dress well and very hot I love him, cook well, pamper him praise him. The only thing I haven't done yet is to kill for him. Hmmmmmmmm. It takes God and personal decision for them to change.

      Delete
  3. Anonymous19:28

    just talk to God in prayers,der's notin too hard 4 him to do.mine is like dat but i have learn to ignore it.

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  4. Anonymous19:45

    he is just being stupid. I believe he may nt have any relationshp wit dem. It may be as a result of idlesness. .but dnt ignore it, talk to him abt it and pray 4 him so dat it wil nt reach d extent of getn their naked pix.

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  5. Hmmmnnn its time to engage is warfare! Pray untill something happens, its frm chatting with them, they start having phone sex and sending nude pics! Pls your husband is getting satisfaction frm other women, frm the attention time etc they are giving him. Its time to pamper the king in him, as an anon said! Dress well, hope u have someone helping out with the baby? So you can have time to talk and go out with him alone. The best thing to start with as I said is prayers! Take charge of the Atmosphere spiritually! Decree that your husband won't find solace in the arms of any other woman, the covenant he took to love, and cherish you won't be broken by him diverting that love to another woman. Pray that any stronghold any woman has over him will be destroyed, any intention or plan that is being orchestrated to divide you home will be destroyed. Secure your husband and family with the hedge of the God as a pillar of fire and hand over the situation to God, as this battle isn't yours but the Lords, lastly ask for discernment so that you can know if there is anything u r doing wrong, then wisdom to know the solution u can apply. Wish u well

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  6. Anonymous20:35

    This is very strange. Maybe the two of you should pray together about it. Rather than it just being you trying to get him to stop. You should both be involved in ending his addiction

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  7. Swthrt, when did he start doing all these? Was it before u married him? Was it during your pregnancy?.or did he start after your delivery?. What
    has changed? Think deeply?

    What he is doing is totally wrong,I sincerely know how u feel... But u know this thing is a two way thing. How is you guys sex life right now? Is it still d way it use to be?. He is your husband,I believe u should know how to get him to talk if u want to.. While u people are relaxed and probably gisting and Laffing together, softly ask him what he thinks u guys use to have in d relationship dat no longer happens,I know d stress of caring for a little child, I know how stressful it is and its totally selfish of him to be chatting up other women just because u probably don't have as enough time as u use to with him because u have to take care of his child who is also yours... Communication is key my dear, try to talk with him while he is off guard, he married u and not those women for a reason..u also have to add one more prayer point to ur prayer.. Say every woman apart from u should never be attractive to your husband and if there is any strange woman presently, God should scatter them.. But don't forget to do your own part to and fulfil your duties as a wife..

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous21:25

    Married men who engage in this are far more than those who don't. I chose to ignore cos I won't let a man hive me HBP when my kids still need me around :) :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. •Omalicha•21:51

    If this whole scenario,were to be the other way round,would he pamper the "queen" in you? Would he pray about it? Would he start dressing to please you and talk to you quietly? Your husband is cheating on you and you want to "pamper the king in him" a grown man,an adult that knows right from wrong.So u want to pray that "other women will no longer be attractive in his eyes" How unrealistic.there were ladies more attrctive than you before he married you,and there will always be ladies more attractive than you. The abiliy for him to control himself and appreciate what he has is the love we are talking about.
    He shldnt be doing it in the first place.It is wrong and you should let him know,I can imagine the way he will be laughing in his mind when you are praying against his "chatting" habit. You sincerely think he has never met any of his cyber friends?.for goodness sake what is a married man looking for on "Badoo"!

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous13:10

      My dear, God will not put you in such situation.... All this mouth wey u dey make ehn,u go gentle...You think its easy to be a single mum? I agree,she needs to tell him her mind but then she also needs to pray,pray against strange women in her marriage. My dear,this will not be your portion IJN

      Delete
    2. •Omalicha•16:43

      So she shld now condone evil? Whatever rocks your boat.pls being a single mum is not a CURSE many single mums out there are far happier than many "I must be MRS by force married women" that receive beating for breakfast.pls do what makes you HAPPY. Life is short.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous17:18

      Lol.....u just dey vex on someone else behalf.. nobody said she should condone evil, in this case,she just has to be "wise as a snake and be gentle as a dove". no be everything gra gra dey solve. Knowledge is key.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous23:48

      Most sensible reply ever.

      Utterly ridiculous and unrealistic is some of these replies. It's better not to reply to the query if they have nothing logical to offer someone in pain. Basically, they are telling this woman that she is the one doing something wrong, or lacking in some key area why her husband is behaving in this disgraceful manner. No, it just couldn't be him having a lack of good character, integrity, and morals. No wonder some born, marry, and die without ever knowing true joy, busy are they running hither and thither to make a man happy that they don't even realize they are empty, broken, joyless vessels.

      Delete
  10. Lady Evagreen22:36

    Wake him up in the middle of the nite and sit him down. Tell him how much u love him how much he means to u, how much u tke him not only as a husband but as a friend and lover. If u ar not used to communicating with him this way, u ll shock him into listening. Tell him hw much hurt and betrayal u feel by his actions. dnt accuse him of sleeping wit thos women o, unless u are 100 percent sure. Tell him that you ve been thinking, and that u dnt want him to kill all d luv and respect u have for him.Then ask him to stop. A little tears wnt hurt.tell him u are willing for u guys to start afresh. Wat does he want frm u? Better sex, commuinication, better grooming? That u wld do anything for him to be happy. but thay if he does that again, hmmm! you wldnt knw wat u wld do. Before u do that. Battle in the spirit for three days and wait upon theLord (fasting). I wish u luck.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous14:48

      Well said! This us husbad oo no be boyfriend. Good advice

      Delete
  11. Some men are just addicted to chatting with women o, and the main trigger of this case is idleness. Get him occupied. Make him do things that will stare his maturity about time, women and social networking. Do what you have to do as a woman to get that man's attention before the obsession becomes physical. He just needs to be busy mentally and physically.
    Jdy last posted...Why Dating Is Ultimately Better In Your 30s

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous09:25

    Find out his attractions in doze women. U can creat a fake fb Identity to achieve dis, den wrk hard at being d woman he dreams of. Pray too. Gudluck. For ur flawless makeover anywhere around d east and abuja, pls call 08162066075 or add 25C1DB17. Cyndycandy

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous10:38

    Honestly, if i had known i would have just remained single. My husband does exactly the same thing even with married women. I have two kids now and my marriage is as good as over because i don't even have any feeling for him anymore. Thank God for a good job, i will continue to take care of my kids and i don't even intend having any affair, in my heart or heart am a single mother with my husband alive but not responsible

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    1. Anonymous15:55

      Is really painful.......................... one would ve remained singleeeeeeeee and we wives can't cheat on them. God will help............

      Delete
    2. Anonymous18:04

      Hmm, I don't mean to ridicule your situation but most times we see all the signs when we're dating these men - they keep other girls and all sorts and we say 'what we don't know doesn't hurt us' or we feel marriage will miraculously change them into faithful husbands. For married men already battling with this situation, we can only preach endurance and patience but for single ladies pls take a cue from this, marriage isn't a magic potion that changes a cheating bf into a faithful husband. What you can't take as a married woman, don't tolerate it as a spinster. I understand every woman's desire to marry and on time too with all the pressures but really it's better to be single and happy than married and miserable.

      Delete
  14. is he a stay at home husband? what sort of man chats on badoo? its just bizarre. better shine your eyes and call his bullshit. some men do not need pampering. continue walking on eggshells just because you want to keep your husband. do you think he is stupid? he knows exactly what he is doing. im not saying you shouldn't pray, by all means pray for your man. this is not your boyfriend! he is your husband for heaven's sake, so fight. even if it means going after those bitches. some men understand a strong woman better than the one that always gives them a choice. make a stand my fellow woman and protect your territory, because whether you pet a man or not, a man that wants to leave you or cheat on you will still do so. #irestmycase

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous13:04

    It's called emotional cheating and yes these men feel entitled to this 'fun'. They think it's harmless as long as they are not having physical relationships with these women. The reality is that you get what you see. These kinds of men were mostly 'polygamous' as bachelors; dating multiple ladies and you don't expect a player to suddenly switch to faithful husband in marriage.
    Yeah, it's good for the wife to look good and all that, but this isn't really about her. It's about the allure of the game - that thrill they get knowing they are desirable to other women. It's like a sexual fetish. I believe in the power of prayers but God doesn't force anyone's will. So unless, the husband agrees it's a problem and desires to change, there may be no change.
    I know as ladies we love the 'tush, fun-loving' men and ignore the 'spiri' brothers because they are dull - so I guess many of us need to rearrange our brains to want and look for the right stuff in future partners. Cos truly if a man is not fully committed in his heart not to cheat, there is nothing you can do to change him.
    As for going after the women he's chatting with - that's totally wrong! I often hear that flawed statement that 'men are babies, they can't control themselves bla bla' Men are adults, they have their thinking faculties and that's why they know enough that the women in their lives would always enable and overlook their irresponsible behaviours. So, those 'strange women' are not the problem here, the husband is - he's the one who has opened their matrimonial door to them.
    And this isn't about the man being jobless. I know first hand of fully employed men who are involved in such.
    Well, my advice to the wife - since she has already talked to him about it and he even begged - that suggests he has insight it's a problem. She should talk to him calmly about how it's affecting their marriage and tell him she wants them to work together to stop his 'addiction' (yeah, it's like dope lolz). If he agrees, then she should tell him they have to tackle it by removing the temptations. Together, they close his Badoo account, they go through his facebook contacts and delete all of these women. They do same for bbm, whatsapp, etc. He makes himself accountable to her by giving her his passwords and she checks on him frequently for signs of relapse. (I would have suggested total closure from all the platforms. Remember we once existed without them but it may be too hard for him to handle)
    If he does the chatting mostly after work, replace the activity by watching a movie or just cuddling on the sofa together or even watching soccer with him (even if you hate the game). If he does it at bedtime, take his devices and switch them off. Put them under lock and key. If necessary till morning. (All these steps cannot be forced and needs his full cooperation)

    There's something I have come to realise - that most people neglect intellectual compability while courting and only notice the space after marriage. Some men/women feel a void when they can't have an 'intelligent' conversation with their spouses. Then, they meet this man/woman who seems to just get them - can complete their sentences and they don't have to explain their sense of humour, etc to them. I'm not saying this justifies their emotional cheating or that's the scenario in this case. However, if she has noticed the kind of intellectual gap I described earlier, she can try to get more informed along his lines of interest.

    Overall, it will take patience cos he may not change overnight and that's the thing about marriage, (esp in this part of the world), you've to stick through the 'worse' and hope for the 'better'. (Caveat: As long as the worse doesn't involve domestic abuse)
    Sorry for the long epistle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1 million likes!!!
      Very intelligent reply!

      Delete
    2. U are too intelligent,i felt like me speaking.let the reader use discernment.
      too many desperate wives out there who enjoy listening to clueless pastors than thinking for themselves!
      it the man's responsiblity to protect his home not u,he is the spiritual head.
      stop praying for someone who is not remorseful about his actions.God gave us self control,let the man use his and stop assuming he doesnt know what he is doing.
      women have become emotionally crippled,this lady's husband is cheating on her and u saying she should pamper him?for the whia?
      women we are stronger than that!

      Delete
  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  17. Hi, thanks for the mail. I'll publish it now so that you get a different opinion from other readers. What your husband is doing is wrong, I think you need to let him know that he is not being respectful. You too should learn to trust and reduce the checking and scanning on him. He might just be doing that for the fun of it without having anything physical to do with these ladies, whatever the excuse or reason, it is still very wrong and unacceptable, he is a married man! I know you might be tempted to fight the women yourself by sending messages to let them know he is married. That is not necessary because some of those especially the married woman, she knows he is married but doesn't care. They are not coming to make him their husband but just looking for emotional companionship cos so many are so lonely and sad in the world today. A lot of people are in relationships but still feel single. That married woman is enjoying the sweet words she nevr gets from her husband and your warning or whatever cannot change anything, When they get to know you are reading btheir chats, they'll just change the method dasall. If you can send them messages with your husban'd name, maybe that will work but I'm not sure. It is only the man that can stop and that will only happen when he is willing. Some irresponsible man will make the home a living hell for you if you attempt to contact his cyber lovers.

    Your body is now strong enough for his bedroom so please go back there incase you moved to baby's room. Go do your family planning if you haven't done that yet and return in full force. Try to give him attention and avoid giving all your time and care to baby alone o. He might just be feeling lonely and good reading all those sweet words he never hears at home maybe, but that is irresonsible and wicked. If after the talk he doesn't stop. Create your own fake badoo and whatever account and start chatting and laughing and really acting like you are into something serious let's see if his heart won't beat faster.

    Try to have a talk with him when you both are in a good mood and please watch your tone OK.
    Cheers.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous17:57

      I beg to differ on the strategy of making him jealous. It's likely to rebound - first, he may notice and get jealous truly but then he will make her own actions the main issue and even increase his chatting with other women to frustruate her. Many men due to societal conditionings believe they are licensed to cheat because they are men, so it will be futile trying to pull his own game on him. Even if they involve an older third party e.g. A parent, they are likely to tell the wife, as the woman she has to submit (it's a pity submission has been so misinterpreted).
      She should pray that God should soften his heart before she raises the topic with him. Try not to lose her cool and make him realise that what he's doing is wrong. Many men tend to overlook these online relationships since they feel nothing is being done in the physical.

      Delete
  18. brooklyn14:34

    @poster ws ur hubby like ds b4 u got married?pls start prayin fast only God can solve ds issue.u both shud use nokia 3310 nd kip smart fones.

    ReplyDelete
  19. brooklyn14:34

    @poster ws ur hubby like ds b4 u got married?pls start prayin fast only God can solve ds issue.u both shud use nokia 3310 nd kip smart fones.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous19:02

      Nokia 3310 badoo

      Delete
  20. patsy15:00

    Eya you rock! Try that last part of starting your own badoo... Get a friend involve so u guys can fake some romantic chat... Maybe a cousin or a brother. Let it be a guy so it can be almost real and keep ur phone carelessly let him see ur chats and text msg, when he start complaining, start acting like u're hiding the phone from him and pls laugh as hard as u can even when u're on WC and make loud comments like 'this guy nor serious at all' then care less about his chats, and u'll see him running to you to ask question... Jokingly tell him are u jealous?, e dey pain you? Be matured in ur actions, so he doesn't suspect fake... If ever there is a change, pls dnt tell him this cos he might use it against you...
    Start dressing extremely sexy, and learn to smile and blush when u're with ur fone... Tip 1 shall
    Lemme know if you need more tips

    Patsy

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  21. Anonymous16:54

    Eya ure a wise woman. I like ur advice.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Maria19:15

    Men like this never change. They devise new methods.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Poster20:01

    WC women kwenu!I dey hail ooo!I really love this blog.Thank you all for ur comments am so greatful for being there for a sister thank you all for the advice I feel blessed,aunty Eyaa God Bless.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Danie10:26

    Very simple! B4 he sleeps hold his hands and pray wen u r done praying ask him if he has anything he wants 2 pray abt, afta bring up ur prayer point" lord I want u 2 give my hubby d grace 2 stop chatting on social media wit women but married n single as dis is giving u headache Infact add all d tins bothering pray dis wit him 4 7dayz morning n nite (lol) bet u won't even ve 2 pray it Dat long. Pls afta each prayer act sweetly(lol

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  25. Anonymous22:59

    Being a wife is warfare, prayer is good but you have to also be forceful. Seize his phones, act sick for as long as you have to, baby him to death, nag him to within an inch of his life when he wont drop his phone. If not, for ur very before, na so another woman go collect ur husband.you can even delete all the contacts on his phone, you are his wife so you have the right to everything of his. How will u even see such badoo application and not delete it kwanu, or a female bb contact and not warn her before deleting her or a strange msg and not warn her off. Ladies hold on tight to you men o. I have been the other woman so trust me, its the troublesome wives that remain in their husband's house.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Anonymous22:03

    YOu should be at thehospital right now smiling with your cry baby. Congrats!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous13:15

      You miss road?

      Delete
  27. Babe12:16

    hmmm dis is a serious issue o...*my personal experience* If u like curse me...you no holy pass
    I met a married man recently and he has been spoiling me silly with gifts and all. I recently visited him and he gave me his ipad to do some things. I wanted to check my mails and saw that he was still logged on, then I saw photos of like 3 different ladies who had almost same physical features like me: light in complexion, moderate boobs and ass. All of this ladies are women he met on badoo. I was angry and asked him how he would feel if his wive finds out about the pics. He said he wive does not go through his mail or phones and that even if she checks his phones, she would not see the pics coz he transfers them to his mail. He said his wive has her own bedroom and hardly checks his mobile devices.
    He is on every social network that is available to meet women, badoo, twoo, etc. I've advised him that as a married man, he shouldn't be joining this kind of network. He said he just looks at pictures that is all. This is a man who is very hardworking and hardly has time on his own. but as soon as he is home @ night, dats wat he does b4 he sleeps.

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    Replies
    1. Amanda13:14

      They all do it my dear. who wan curse you no serious.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous14:32

      I just pray that god looks on to this miserable feeling we go through and show us his mercy,,,, god please do something.....

      Delete
  28. Is your man emotionally and sexually satisfied, these are the major reasons why men cheat.

    ReplyDelete

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