The Height Of My Patience, Did I Decide Wrongly?

Aunty Eya good morning...I've not been able to sleep  cos of this issue on my mind........how do you cope with a step sister who is just out to spite you?..my step sister came to live with us 11yrs ago..she is 27 and I am 21.I've tried to exist wit her cos we share the same room.

The problem is that she can hardly stay up to one month in peace with me....she may just come back one evening and start putting up an attitude. When I greet her, she murmurs back..or not answer at all, starts throwing things around just to make you angry..I took to ignoring her whenever she starts..but she will still wait for me to initiate  peace.. I don't know why she is always angry at me.


There was a time it
lasted over 6mnths..that one happened because she did her worst..stole my phone and wanted to sell it out.when we found out she denied it. she just doesn't like to see someone better or higher at anything than her..I've tried my possible best to exist with her but she isn't making it easier for me.

My dad(her father) knows everything but just keeps telling me to endure.I guess as a human ve really tried..but this time as she started her attitude over a month ago...am tired..she isn't a baby..at times I feel she is possessed..I've decided to mind my business.

I live as if she doesn't exist so that I don't develop high BP and die because of her..not to talk of all the things she does to provoke my mum.

I love peace but since she doesn't like my help.. I guess I've reached my elastic limit..I can't please her anymore..I can even walk pass her without noticing..I don't even waste my greetings anymore..I guess this is the only way I can remain sane after 12yrs...
Did I decide wrongly? I'm in need of advice.

Comments

  1. Anonymous08:47

    U ve really tried n God noes d best just ignore her as u said,maybe its becos u ve bin givin her attention dat makes her take advantage of u always n again if u love her as ur sis put her in ur prayers let God interven while u keep ur distance.Goodluck

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  2. Anonymous08:49

    you didnt oh, my dear...some people are just like that, malicious for no reason. please ignore her, give aher a very long arm's lenght, when she comes in, pick a book to read or ur phone or even go out to watch tv or something, believe me, na she go tiya. pele!!!

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  3. Hi Tonia, how are you? You know people sometimes judge you by the way you write. I usually don't post mails written in this manner cos readers may have problems trying to understand before thinking of advice to give.

    Again, it takes me quite some time trying to edit and change the short texts into complete sentences. I will try and edit to an extent, once readers can comprehend your writing, it will be published. Please do not send mails to people like you are writing SMS on your phone. I wanted to ignore your mail but changed my mind. Especially when you write to people who are older than you, don't let them struggle to understand your write up OK?

    **I think your dad has a duty here, to call you both for a meeting and address this matter. You two need to sit down face to face with your Dad and say all you have to say and trash this thing or you will live in resentment all your life. It is possible for sibblings from different moms to love themselves. Your sister may have issues with some things you do too and may not have the guts to say them out so she acts strange. Let your Dad call a meeting and stop telling you to endure. What if your sis too is enduring?

    I will correct some and publish but do me a favour, read your mail again and see if you would like to read that as a blog post from someone who needs advice.
    Cheers.


    MAIL:

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aunty eya gdmrnin...av not bin able 2 slip cos of dis issue on my mind........how do u cope wit a step sister who is jus out 2 spite u?..my step sister came 2 live wit us 11yrs ago..she is 27 and I am 21.I av tried 2 exist wit ha cos we share d same rum.
      The problem is dat she can hardly stay upto one month in peace with me....she may jus cum back one evenin and start puttin up an attitude.grit ha she murmurs bck..or not ansa at all.start throwin tins around jus 2 make u angry..I took 2 ignoring ha weneva she starts..but she wil stil wait for me 2 innitiate d peace..dnt knw y she is always angry at me..d was a time it lasted ova 6mnths..dat one hapnd bcos she did ha worst..stole my fone and wanted 2 sell it out.wen we found out she denied it.she jus doesn't like 2 c sumone beta or higher at anytn dan ha..I av tried my posible best 2 exist wit ha but she isn't makin it easier for me..my dad(her father) knws everytn but jus kips telin me 2 endure.I gues as human av realy tried..but dis time as she started ha atitude ova a month ago...am tired..she isn't a baby..at times I feel she is possesd..av decided 2 mind my busines.I liv as if she doesn't exist so dat I dnt av high BP and die bcos of ha..not 2 talk of all d tins she does 2 provoke my mum.I luv peace but since she doesn't like my help..I gues av reachd my elastic limit..I cnt please ha anymoore..I can evn walk pass ha without noticin..I dnt evn waste my greetins anymore..I gues dis is d only way I can remain sane after 12yrs...did I decide wrongly?

      Delete
    2. Blossom09:23

      Hmmm well done Eya. I didn't realise you had to edit some mails to this extent. If you hadn't posted the original version, I'd have thought you were just hyping.

      Delete
    3. Auntie Yea welldone, you did well by editing d mail and correcting her too

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    4. Anonymous20:36

      Aunty Eya, you tried. Maybe all the people that write like that on this blog (especially Ivy Brown), will learn and stop punishing us.

      Poster, she is older than you, no matter what, always greet her. Maybe she is going through some personal stuffs and needs attention. She actually behaves that way to get your attention. You didn't say if her mum stays with you, but please, always greet her and try as much as you can to get close to her, at least, that way you can always know what's bothering her.

      Delete
    5. Anonymous00:08

      personal stuff for 12 years ke? From my understanding her dad married the posters mum don't think it is a polygamous setting otherwise poster would have mentioned it

      Delete
  4. Anonymous09:33

    Is her mother in that house?If not don't u think she will feel alienated? From experience most women don't treat other peoples children like their own. Does she have siblings from her mothers side? I refuse to judge here because i no she has her own side from this story!

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  5. Anonymous09:44

    First of all you need to realize that there is some form of jealousy going on,you got to live with your dad from when you where born but she on the other hand didn't till she was about 15? This is something normal your parents have to trash this out and try to treat both of you equally

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  6. Dear, I dnt really tink dt she spite u for no reason, ur parents shld com into ds matter and try 2 find out d exact problem cos it might be dt she has justifiable grudges in her heart. Are u sure dt u dnt receive special preference frm ur parents while she doesn't and since she is older, she doesn't find ds funny.

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  7. Anonymous22:40

    *if possible, live at peace with all men* how often does she offend you a day,and how often do you forgive her a day... 490 times? That is the standard as xtians, I'm sure u've not exhausted those forgiving grace inside of you, so u can't quit!
    Besides, learn to understand and accommodate her.. She might feel hated, ignored or ma treated in that house, and you aint making it easy for her at all.. Be her friend, communicate with her to know her fears, sometimes maturity is not in the age...(Maybe she needs you more than you think). And again salutation is not a sign of respect... Let ur attitude be in ur greeting... With ur write up, I sense an attitude of resentment from you towards her.. Learn to love her, I think you haven't shown enough love yet... Start by taking her side whenever mumsy or daddy feels she's wrong.. And make excuses for her.. Love her plss

    Patsy

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  8. I honestly can understand why she behaves in the way and manner that she does. Her behavior comes from the fact that her mother is not in the house and she feels shes not been treated like she would have been, had it been that her mother was in the house. And just like Eya said, there might be some issues that she has with either you, or your mother, and she is pouring her frustrations on you because you are the only one she override. Its now left for you to find a way to amend things between both of you and let her know that you have no bad intention towards her. Let her know that if there's anything she thinks you not doing right she should not fail to let you know. Its not by choice that both of you are half sisters but since you find yourselves in that position it will be good to make the best out of it.Show her love always. Buy her gifts when you can afford it. Maybe sometimes when you go out to buy yourself something, get one for her too. When you keep showing that sisterly love she will definitely come around. I wish you the best.

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  9. poster09:02

    thank you aunty eya for the correction,am sowi for the stress.
    The fact is that; we are treated d same way,my dad is a very strict person and he doesnt give room for partiality.
    There is actually nothing that i havnt done 2 please her,you talk of buyin her gifts i do dat without caring about the fact that i have never recieved a pin from her as a gift.
    She is this type that feels she doesnt need ur advice bcos she is big enough to make her decisions.My dad jus decided not 2 talk again bcos i tell u he has talked enough,let her make her choice.
    my mum is this patient type,she doesnt answer her..she sleeps til 9am and when she wakes up is jus to carry the food and eat and go out,without caring to evn say thank you to my mum.
    Now i do every single work at home..she doesnt care..jus to come bck eat ,slip......is that really fair?
    its either she plays music to the heighest volume or chew gum to disturb your slip or start chewing vewi early in the morning..chewing so loudly so that wen u now tel ha to pls take it easy..she now takes offence...
    i knw am not perfect but i have tried my best....asuu is not evn helpin atleast i will see less of this her shows wen am in the hostel...i have really swallowed enough.i choose not 2 insult her,i jus totally ignore

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous10:39

      @POSTER, You still haven't corrected your writing!!! What if it becomes a part of you and you unconsciously write this in your University semester Exam booklet. Guess the grade that will follow. You are an undergraduate so please train yourself to write patiently and in full. Why write sowi in place of sorry?

      Delete
    2. Anonymous16:41

      @poster, I am anon 9.33am,maybe u should just ignore her, and move on with your life,some people are not just worth it!

      Delete
  10. Anonymous09:42

    Well,I tink I will disagree with some opinions here,WHY? bcos I am still in ur shoes .Am staying with a lady even up till now,she hates me for no reason.Where we stay is a living quaters and the company is not ready to provide another accommodation for me.I try to respect this lady but i don't no Y she hates me that much.There was a tym she even slapped me.I am a graduate and shes also a graduate but some few years older dan me and mind u,am in my 30's,but i never slapped her back and even appologized to her again after slapping me so there can be peace but up till now,no peace.Wat i observe is dat some pple take ur gentility for stupidity and I was opportune to read Charley boy's write up on HATERS.
    he said,HATER is somone dat cant stand u.They just hate u for whom u are.They are merchants of gossip and all malicious stories abt u.Haters hate u for ur accomplishment,youthfulness,but guess wat? Dey don't even no y dey hate u.For haters,hate is d only way they can cope and go on wit dier lifes. Dey usually suffer some insecurities and some inadequacies.
    My dear,its beta she's not pretending,just be matured in dealing with her premature attitude and leave ur life the way u please and above all,don't send her at all by doing as if u care!

    ADEYANJU

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10:42

      LOL

      Delete
    2. Anonymous16:37

      It is witch craft dat s worrying some of this people. Lol...

      Delete
  11. You've done ur best... Leave the rest for God!

    Watch your back also, girls are really vindictive and dangerous!

    ReplyDelete

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