RELATED STORIES

My Fiance Refused To Go For A Genotype Test

hi aunty eya
Please kindly post this for me
I will like to be anonymous, I met this guy seven years ago, although we started as friends, after six months of friendship we started dating, I'm As genotype, which I told my guy, and I asked about his when I agreed to date him,

he simply reply he is AA. 

After about three years into the relationship, he told me that his friend who
happens to be his course mate when he was in higher institution told him that the genotype test they did in school was an error, because his friend later did another test and realized he is AS where as he was given a test report to be AA, this affected his friend relationship, because his girlfriend couldn't continue with the relationship.

So my guy was advised to go for the test again, but he refused, I told him then to go for the test too, he refused claiming that all his sibling are AA, therefore he is.We continued with the relationship, until this year that he discovered one of his sibling is AS. I told him to go for the test after hearing thI'm he refused, I have persuaded him, all to no avail, sincerely he loves me so much, we are even planning our wedding for next year but I'm afraid  because he has attempted to go for the test three consecutive times, but he turned back on getting there, saying he knew if the test comes out to be AS, that I will leave him, that he doesn't want to loose me that he is just scared.

 Please what should I do, because I have seen him cry when I told him, if he doesn't do it I will leave him, he kept pleading that I should have faith that he is AA

Comments

  1. Sorry 2 say, but hw can u discover d error test 3yrs in2 ur rel, n u hv remained der for 4xtra yrs? Ur fiance is AS. He has don dt test secretly n doesn't wnt u 2 leave him. In my opinion, he's jst being selfish nt tinkin bout ur future n ur k. As a woman u hv 2 len 2 b firm in making decisions. Y wld he refuse 2 go 4 a test n u let it slide for 4yrs? Na wa oº° . Bet knw wht he is up 2.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10/25/2013

      Ivy brown!You just nailed the truth!!!!!

      Delete
    2. Una Mama the Second10/26/2013

      Na WA for you this Ivy o, how did you know? Your tatafo will soon pass even Miss Ikeji own set.#RunningAwayLikeNeverBefore

      Delete
    3. Anonymous10/27/2013

      Ivy you might be wrong o.My own hubby refused to do the test o. After 5 years of marriage I discovered he was AA but he was just too scared to find out cos I am AS. I took d leap(a risky one I must add) cos he was always always down with malaria. Lol.

      Delete
  2. Anonymous10/25/2013

    If you were planning to get married in a Pentecostal church, I know the church insist on medical test prior to counseling... In this case, no bi you go force am to do genotype test.
    One question for the house - would God seriously want two AS to get married?

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's best if he does d test now cos he can't run 4 long. It's beta if he knows where hw stands rather dan wasting Precious tym

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ivy, u hit d mace on d head. D guy has gone 4 d test secretly & he is AS.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous10/25/2013

    My dear, U are sitting on a long thing, biko I beg U in the name of GOD if he doesn't do d test don't plan anything with him o, when it happens U will be the carrying the baby up and down. Speaking from experience o

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous10/25/2013

    My dear, it's good the truth been told. Any guy that is running away from doing GT test knows his status, that's just the simple truth. And i always advice we ladies that before you go far into any relationship with a guy that you ensure to get the necessary things you need to know about his medical status especially that GT. You have seen the result of it now with the years you have wasted with him. You are now in a state of dilemma cos of the love you both share for each other but i must let you know that the worst will clock in when you eventually settle down with him. You have to ignore that his cry and do the right thing to save the unborn from future pains and agony, not just them, your pocket go hear am too from the expenses that will arise from taking them from one hospital to another. Anyway, just like anon 2.40 said, no Priest or Pastor will wed you guys if the reverse is the case, not only in pentecostal church, other churches do that. I just pray that faith works out for him cos i still believe that there is nothing God cannot do!! HEAVEN HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES STILL, PERSUADE HIM FOR THAT TEST AND PUT YOUR MIND AT REST KWANU HABA!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10/25/2013

      You are on point ma. Am thinking this guy is a bit deceptive as well. God help you poster to handle this rightly and with the wisdom of God too. Your should stop being childish. The truth is that he'll not die if you don't marry him, the earlier you face the truth the better.

      I had similar experience, I met this beautiful & wonderful sister in my fellowship then when i was in my final year, months later we discovered we were both AS, we both cried for may months bcos it was difficult to part ways but after two years of serious prayer and counselling we had to face the hard truth. Pls insist the he does the test.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous10/26/2013

      True talk

      Delete
  7. Its great that he loves you so much to risk it all..if he has'nt taken the test already let some family member make him do it. Let God's will be done.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Since he is not listening to you, maybe you can talk to his family members to persuade him. But I think he is As, because if he was AA he would not have any problem going for the test. I wish the both of you the best of luck.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous10/25/2013

    Eya this background is making me hungry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. bulls_eye10/25/2013

      Me too. So appealing....

      Delete
    2. Anonymous10/26/2013

      As in....chai....anty Eya but y?

      Adebubler

      Delete
  10. LICIOUS10/25/2013

    WOW!!!!! So GREAT to be Back to WC!!!! I missed everyone....
    LOOooOOOLL!! @ Anon 5:15My words EXACTLY!!! Anty Eya,there's a rumble in tummy 'cause of this scrumptious meal(F-rice is my fav.) at d background of our page...!!lol!!
    Dear poster,
    Seriously, its not worth the hassle, obviously your 'intended' already KNOWS his genotype and is only playing on your intelligence trying to be 'smart' and luring you to the eventuality of Marriage !!
    And then the ISSUES will arise...
    To be fore warned is to be fore armed. Stand firm and demand the truth or a test on the spot(i mean going with him and doing it immediately) it takes approximately how long? Please we've come to, ignorance is no longer an excuse in decision making and taking!!!
    Its even recorded in the Bible that "......and you shall know the TRUTH and the TRUTH shall set you free...."
    PUuuuUUUuuUULLLEEASSEE!!!!
    He+ you= Possiblity of future Hazzards!!!
    I do not think you'd want to build the foundation of your entire future on 'probalilities/possibilities'.

    Licious says!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous10/25/2013

    Let me share my story:

    I've always thought my my genotype to be AA and blood group O+. That's what my mom said. In my third year in university we had a program outside Nigeria and had to do full medical tests. My blood group came out as O-. The doctor called me aside for counselling and told me about having Rhogam shots at different stages of pregnancy, I panicked and called my mom. In her very words "there's absolu no way you can be O- when everyone in this family is O+".
    Now my mom feels slighted when you say anything she feels negates her nursing and midwifery profession (no disrespect to her). Fast forward four year ago, I married my husband after dating him for four years. In the first two years we had 4 miscarriages. Oh, his parents told him he is AA/O+ too, and we STUPIDLY didn't go for confirmatory tests.
    That's how we found our way to Pathcare. Turns out I'm actually AA/O- and my husband is AS/O+! (that's why I was so upset when I spent my precious time typing the addresses of Pathcare and Eya deleted my comments) .
    When we told his parents he is AS, his mom said "impossible ! Me and my husband are AA". My father-in-law immediately countered her: "no oh, I'm AS". She has 7 children and 5 grandchildren but was only just finding out her husband is a sickle cell carrier. Hubby discovered at 33 years old that he's also a carrier. Now, imagine if I were also AS and ignorant of it... or if I erroneously assumed I'm of rhesus O+ and I kept losing pregnancies or finally have kids with rhesus disease/genetic disorders..
    Nne, love is not just about emotions/romance. It is a huge RESPONSIBILITY! News flash: your bobo has confirmed he is AS but is too selfish to own up and let you go. Read him the riot act: we go TOGETHER to a nominated clinic and do our genotype testing TOGETHER or au revoir. Your future and the life/lives of your unborn child(ren) is too much to gamble with. This is your life, be selfish about it, take charge and do the right thing now...or spend forever living from hospital to hospital. God has empowered us with medical science, don't live ignorantly.

    Sorry for the too-long post Eya.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10/25/2013

      My dia b4 the miscarriages did u take in? This is really important if u want to have kids. Did the doctors actually explain what it means to be 0-? Go research this is really serious

      Delete
    2. Your comment was not deleted.it was later found sleeping in the spam box and I published it. You are very free to retype o, my hand cannot delete important info.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous10/25/2013

      Ok sorry Eya, I didn't see the addresses à few moments after they were published so I thought you deleted them. Ku yat esit mbok.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous10/25/2013

      Can one have a miscarriage without being pregnant? I don't understand your question @anon 7:17.
      Being rhesus negative is not a "serious issue" you are making it out to be. It just requires few shots here and there and is only necessary if your partner is rhesus positive. I've done extensive tests and I'm okay. My doctors in thé US have told me when to get the shots at each stage of my current pregnancy and when I give birth I will announce it here. :)

      Delete
    5. Anonymous10/25/2013

      Can one have a miscarriage without being pregnant? I don't understand your question @anon 7:17.
      Being rhesus negative is not a "serious issue" you are making it out to be. It just requires few shots here and there and is only necessary if your partner is rhesus positive. I've done extensive tests and I'm okay. My doctors in thé US have told me when to get the shots at each stage of my current pregnancy and when I give birth I will announce it here. :)

      Delete
    6. I'm o negative and I already have my 1st baby and I never had any miscarriage. My ob-gyn asked if I've ever had an abortion b4 as its what might cause issues. Apparently, if u're rhesus negatIve,even after abortions u should take d injection or else u keep aborting or having deformed kids.
      See as I was thanking God say I never abort since I never even knew. I was o-,always thot I was positive.

      Delete
    7. Anonymous10/28/2013

      Sheye?!!!!! Abeg Abeg Abeg. Stop propagating ignorance. O- only miscarried after abortions?! Google is your friend o. Stop wasting your education Abeg. O- results in miscarriages if yoir husband is Rhesus + because your body treats it like a foreign body that needs to be expelled eg a disease. The shots ensure that your antibodies do not rebel against your foetus. What rubbish!

      Delete
  12. Anonymous10/25/2013

    *absolutely

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous10/25/2013

    u don see lover o. U shuld have faith dat it is A. A. Oh chineke. Dat guy is As o. Just hv it at d back of ur mind. No nid to insist dat he shuld go 4 d test. He is As. D ball is in ur court sha. U knw wat it means to marry As as u are AS.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous10/25/2013

    Please every woman should find out their rhesus genotype ie - or + this is v v important because when a woman is negative and gets pregnant for a man that is rh+,her body begins to build immunity against the rh+,if she doesn't get injected in to prevent this,subsequent pregnancies will be spontaneously aborted ie miscarriage and it CAN'T be reversed for now. So please do ur self a favor and know ur rh status. Ie it is the sign with ur blood group A+ A- etc

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes oº° ! Rhesus factor iS rily rily important as well so ur body doesn't build immunity againt d rhesus of ur child n cause u 2 promptly miscarry. Vry important 2 knw so immediately u tak in, u go 4 d appropriate injections.

      Delete
  15. Anonymous10/25/2013

    Eya ds bkgrd is‘u wan try‘ luv it; @ poster-sit&ponder ova ds issue as its a very serious 1,may d Lord help u tu do wat is right,its well.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous10/25/2013

    Pls stop misleading people oh. If your rhesus negative blood mixes with rhesus positive blood, you can still get pregnant. That is what the Rhogam (Anti D) shots are for. The reverse the effects of the antibodies formed.
    I had that problem and I'm in my last trimester of pregnancy. I've had Rhogam shots at two months, à prophylactic shot at 28 weeks, and I will have one after birth. And my yeye doctor never gave me the shots after the miscarriages (which one should have within 72 hours after a miscarriage)

    ReplyDelete
  17. I was told by a nurse that once a woman with rhesus negative losses her first pregnancy or aborts that first baby, she'll never be able to carry subsequent pregnancies to full term. AM SO SCARED!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10/25/2013

      Your nurse lied! I just shared my story about having 4 miscarriages and I'm going to have my baby soon. There are lots of online resources you can educate yourself with. Don't just dépend on what a nurse/medical personnel, esp in Nigeria (no disrespect meant) tells you. The former doctor I used calls himself a professor but never gave me rhogam shots after the miscarriages.

      Delete
  18. Anonymous10/25/2013

    there are many testimonies of genotype changing from SS to AS and AS to AA, there is nothing too hard for God to do? what of our parents of old, did they do genotype test? but they have better and long lasting marriages and healthy kids too. if we are getting married cos of the future of children, what if you dont have kids or you are not blessed with one? besides according to biology, its just one out of 4kids that will be SS. me oh, i believe in love sha oh, 7years is a very long time to just throw away. pele my dear!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10/26/2013

      How many of our grand parents kids survive? Besides the number u quoted for ss is just a probability! It may be 1 in 4 or even 4 in 4 can have sickle cell

      Delete
    2. Anonymous10/26/2013

      Yes miracles do happen but sometimes it's wrong medical results from poorly trained lab technicians.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous10/26/2013

      What is this one saying? Where did u get ur statistics frm? Pls do ur research. I knw a couple with 4 kids and 2 are SS.
      A simple research on google wld help or u can jst ask a Dr.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous12/13/2017

      I entered into a relationship with a lady who told me while we were still friends that her genotype was AA not knowing she was just assuming. I later found out and asked her to go for test and I was shocked when the result came out as AS since I'm AS too.We cried but something just told me there's nothing God can not do. We both fasted and prayed and involved my church Pastor who prayed with us. Lo and behold we went for test again her own came out to be AA mine was still AS. I was excited and shocked. I had to ask her to go and do her own again. It was AA again. There is nothing God can not do. My faith was very weak because I'm a Doctor but God showed me there's nothing too big for him

      Delete
  19. Anonymous10/25/2013

    Guess wat I will be goin for all dis test on monday very early, bcos I stand a sickle cell babies. I was in modupe cole last month and wat my eye see my mouth can not explain than 2 thank GOD and no mistake

    ReplyDelete
  20. that guy has something to hide if not i see no reason why he wont do the test.
    ezechimereuchenna.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous10/26/2013

    In ancient times I guess a lot of kids that where labelled ogbanje or abiku where actually SS.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous10/26/2013

    @ anon 8.11pm. if its my first baby do i need to take the Rhogam shots injections to prevent any future harm to my unborn baby or its after the first baby to avoid future miscarriages?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes u hav 2 go 4 d shot weda its ur 1st baby or not

      Delete
    2. Anonymous10/26/2013

      According to medical sciences, the first baby is usually safe. BUT generally, as soon as you have your baby, whether first or not, you should be given Rhogam shots. Then your baby's cord blood will be used to test his/her genotype and rhesus. If the baby isn't Rhesus negative, s(he) will be given some shots to also protect him/her from your blood. However if your partner is confirmed to be Rhesus negative as well, you will not need to get the shots. Rhogam shots are indicated where one partner is Rhesus negative and the other, positive.
      Please go online and read extensively on this so you are duly informed and can make informed decisions. Blessings..

      Delete
    3. Anonymous10/26/2013

      According to medical sciences, the first baby is usually safe. BUT generally, as soon as you have your baby, whether first or not, you should be given Rhogam shots. Then your baby's cord blood will be used to test his/her genotype and rhesus. If the baby isn't Rhesus negative, s(he) will be given some shots to also protect him/her from your blood. However if your partner is confirmed to be Rhesus negative as well, you will not need to get the shots. Rhogam shots are indicated where one partner is Rhesus negative and the other, positive.
      Please go online and read extensively on this so you are duly informed and can make informed decisions. Blessings..

      Delete
  23. Anonymous10/26/2013

    Ur story almost brought tears to my eyes oh, this guy loves you.. He doesn't want to loose you.. His kind is rare! Knowing that you're AS, and he might be AS is not what scares him, but that he might loose you when you finds out is his fear... What a man with so much love... After 7years of courtship, tot he wld be irritated by now, and just want to move to the nxt gal and this will just be his big break.. But NO! He want to stick with you... Am so convinced this guy is AA, this love must not die! Go with him for the test..

    Patsy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Patsy,
      Please did you take time to read what you typed before clicking publish?

      He is AA? Please how did you arrive at this conclusion?

      Poster, insist on going together for the test and if he keeps rejecting the idea, please find your square root. Better late than sorry; a stitch in time saves nine!

      Delete
  24. Anon. 10:23PM,

    I'm sorry but all you just typed isn't it at all.

    Yeah, I believe in miracles too but tempting GOD? You are OYO!
    As per our fore parents, did it ever occur to you that some who had SS children(though they didn't know about genotypes back then) concluded that the children were abikus(children that die at birth/at infancy and come again and keep dying), possessed etc because they kept falling sick again and again.

    You said Biology explained that one child will be SS- hian! What if all becomes SS?

    Do you know what it is to care for an SS child? Forget love! When the crisis comes, love will disappear!

    I remember back in Uni., there was this girl who died in her final year(2nd semester). She was SS and according to what I heard, whenever the crisis started, she would be crying, saying "Daddy why, Mummy why; why did you have to get married?".

    So please leave story; even if the poster gets married to her fiance, the affected child will blame/curse them for it especially since they both knew their incompatible genotype.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous10/26/2013

    My opinion rubbynia, the guy's first test was AA back in sch days abi u nor read that part, the fear that his brother is AS and his friend's genotype is different from what he was given in sch, got him scared... He hasn't done his test yet, so I am wishing him AA result, so his love for his fiance won't die! Or you don't want me to wish him good result?
    Read very well next time rubby- my advice though!

    Patsy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10/26/2013

      Mama pala

      Delete
    2. Patsy,
      I read your comment well. As far as I'm concerned, you're just trying to encourage the poster to continue with the relationship but what about her peace of mind?

      Her mind will only be at peace once he obliges to go for the test. As far as I'm concerned he's only AA "tentatively" pending the result of another "updated" and "modern" test!

      GOD forbid, what if he's AS and she decides to agree with his idea, gets married to him and gives birth to an SS, will you be there to carry her burden?

      Let her fiance clear his doubt-he should go for another test! Faith is good but without action, IT IS DEAD!

      He has faith, good! but how would he know the outcome of his faith? Isn't it by getting tested.

      I rest my case on this matter. It's the wearer that knows where the shoe pinches.

      Delete
  26. How do I get the recipe for this background fried rice? Someone please help I want too cook that tomorrow

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous10/26/2013

    patsy abeg no look for Rubynnia palaver I dry warn you now before e come late.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Rubynnia has run away so we declare PATSY the winner!!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Plz poster insist on that test its v v important, forget love now, so many of them cry so no be today pant begin dey for nyash. Me I feel he might have secretly gone for the text and he's AS. Seven yrs is a long wasted yrs already if he is found out to be AS abi u never tire? Hian! Plz stand ur ground and mk sure he goes for the text the ealier the better btw me sef don dey fear for my own sef. We must go for the test together despite we personally knw we are both AA 0+. This one wey una dey talk abt 0- dey fear me pass now.
    Aunty eya our background is so inviting o choii. Happy weekend everyone

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous10/26/2013

    This is an eye opener. Now I know all those kids that used to die as ogbanje and abiku in the past were just Sickle Cell kids. Painful much

    ReplyDelete
  31. Rubbynia darling... Read my last sentence again oh, I asked them to go for the test together.. Abi u nor see that part... I think smtimes you jump lines, or maybe u just created a wrong opinion abt my comment! Doooo it's not easy to grasp pple's write up smtimes...

    Patsy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10/27/2013

      PATSY must always have the last say. ARE YOU A LAWYER ni?

      Delete
    2. Anonymous10/28/2013

      Abeg Patsy ur own is becoming too much! I don give u close marking since u condemned many churches in one of d post!

      Delete
  32. Anonymous10/27/2013

    OGBANJE, ABIKU EQUALS SICKLE CELL BABIES

    ReplyDelete
  33. Anonymous10/29/2013

    Poster be very smart here and don't let blind love control your life. Marriage goes far beyond the wedding day.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Thanks all for your comments, I got a point here, I will tell one of his family members, @fashion rehab, i'm comfortable with that. Patsy you understand the kind of dilemma i'm facing, his type is indeed rear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10/31/2013

      Rare you mean?

      Delete
  35. Thanks anon rare I mean, phone error

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Feel free to email us with comments, suggestions, recipe ideas, or pretty much anything!
Contact Email: cuulme@gmail.com

Most comments are by other blog readers. Always seek Professional Help First.
“As an Amazon Associate I earn a little commission when you shop from links placed on this blog.”

SHARE THIS POST

RELATED

SHOP HERE