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Is It This Hard To Bring Up Kids?

Hi Aunty Eya pls help me post this before I run mad oh,thanks for the previous Lunchbox but only find Rice as food there,my son don't like any of others,thought I will find more food cos they stay at school longer. 

Pls my fellow Mothers, is it this difficulties I face that others face to bring up children reason is cos I have TWO children,age 2+ and 1+ and expecting the third by God grace next year but the type of headache this two gives me oh lord my God,I'm always sick, shouting from morning to night,the worse part is that they climb
any climbable thing without fear of falling. My 19yr brother in law is not even helping matters at all, he will leave these children, leave the house unswept, the dishes and go to his girlfriends shop near our house even after the beating his brother my hubby gave him. 

 I don't really know how to handle these kids better without shouting, and talking to the first kid a boy is like pouring water ontop of a stone,he can only hear you when you shout or beat him and I'm really tired of beating him every now and then,

pls any better option without suggesting for a maid cos I don't want them.

Comments

  1. Anonymous10/12/2013

    Before I get a maid,my head nearly burst,is nt easy o,when d 3rd child comes is then u wil no dat kaki no b leather. I ve 3 and I no what am facing,but is a matter of time,these children ar growing everyday,b4 u know it they wil become big boys nd big girls. Mothers ar really trying. We wil all eat d fruit of our labour IJN.

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  2. Mrs Dayo10/12/2013

    3 kids in 3 years? @ poster, you haven't seen nothing. Shouting will change nothing. Get a small cane from market women

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  3. Aunty Eya don't let me vex o, since Friday you haven't posted my mail.

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  4. Anonymous10/12/2013

    Poster u need to slow down on ur child birth. You av two already, aged 1 n 2 and u are expecting anoda nxt year? Haba! You're not a machine na! Kids can be very stubborn. It's not a sin. Its jst their nature. Biko poster, just take it slow.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous10/13/2013

      Aproko, bizy body! How is dat ur headache,if she decides to bear all her kids in 2yrs, hw is dat ur palaver? Instead of advising , u xtend ur nose into her bedroom matters! Mtcheew!!!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous10/14/2013

      Good advice Anon 6:05..also many women do not know that when they have such close pregnancies they set up themself up for incontinence in their later years, and I mean as early as in their 40s. For the sake of the woman's body, pregnancies should be spaced out minimum at least 2 years apart.

      @ topic..Many times children take on the energy of the household. Yes, some children are naturally more exuberant than others and need to be occupied with interesting activities to burn off their energy. But you speak of your husband beating his 19yr old brother, nobody that age should be getting beat. I am not then surprised that your children are so unruly, not listening, and the 19 yr old is not pulling his weight with chores. Seems like your household is in a general state of disorder and your children are only acting out from the environment that they are living in. Change the environment and the children will likely behave differently.

      Put the children on a strict schedule; having routines at specific times of day will slowly bring order to their life. Specific feeding times, bath times, play times, reading times etc..on the clock everyday. Behaviour modification; have consequences for certain behaviours, so you reward the good behaviours all the time, and your have reasonable punishment for bad behaviour all the time, this way the child will know what consequences go for what behaviours, and in all likelihood will choose to do that which brings a good reward. Spanking should be the very last resort as a form of punishment, better punishment are removal or privileges, timeouts. The adults in the household need to be respectful and courteous to each other for the children to know what a normal, peaceful environment should be like. Adults lead and children follow.

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    3. How dare you insinuate that she's a bad mother. She is not a superwoman. Everybody has strengths and this might not be her forte. As a mother, you will know that it is not easy at all especially for new moms. She's only being a mom for 3yrs and it takes a lifetime to even get a hang of it. Some kids, if you like set schedule all you want and they will flout it. No household is a picture of orderliness especially when you have little kids. At dis age, You must shout, beg, threaten, cry, coax, cajole, before you get anything done.

      Delete
  5. Anonymous10/12/2013

    How is dat ur business how she what to give birth to her children she only ask for an advice and u guys are telling her one year one child is not only two kids did give birth to ten

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  6. Anonymous10/12/2013

    #teampoppingoutbabieseveryyr#
    u neva see anything.
    Dts exactly wat am going thru.
    Your own worse pass cos na boy b d1st.
    Its jst a matter of time.
    Pls try n stop beating them cos it wl only harden him d more.
    Continue t pop them out bfr menopause comes knocking.i gbadu ur style.

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  7. Hmmmn I be think say na only me oooooo! You just described my situation Poster. Sorry I don't have any advice dear. I'm still battling with my children everyday. I'm hoping to get some advice through the response from other mums about your post

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  8. Anonymous10/12/2013

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    Replies
    1. Monstrosity. Annoying rat

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    2. scallywagous anon 7:08, very obnoxious you

      Delete
  9. Anonymous10/12/2013

    @ poster Pele! It's not easy. I have one, expecting anoda very soon. But I shout everyday ehn. Despite the fact I have a maid. That one just cleans the house. I don't even want my daughter spending time with her because she's already corrupting her English, Lol.

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  10. Anonymous10/12/2013

    Dear poster its not easy anyway @ all. I have 4 and the1st 3 are boys and just a girl. Yes I shout like mad, but I realised that they behave once I got canes for them. Its not like I use all the time on them. Once they start misbehaving I just bring out the cane and imediatelly you see the calm in them. Then I also ask them to knell down and put their hands up. Also deny them treats or send the offender to bed while others watch tele. Then please since they are still young get them building blocks puzzles jigsaws and you will be amazed the trans formation in them. Good luck its well with us mothers

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    Replies
    1. This is a great suggestion, building blocks toys would not only help keep them busy but will also improve their educational skills. Read http://exploringscienceworld.wordpress.com/2013/09/25/playing-with-toy-blocks-improves-learning-skills/ on how such toys helps the children.

      Delete
  11. Anonymous10/12/2013

    why wasting yuor voice? get a real koboko damba

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  12. Funny thing is at d end of the day kids get immune to d cane..and dont shout too much cos dey get immuned to dat too.

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  13. creampalace10/12/2013

    Once my boys starts ages (3+ and 1+ ) hubby and i,scares them with time out i.e, locking them up in their room with toys,of course they so hate it and sit tight .

    Also getting a small cane,to scare them, but take it easy on beating,doh one can be pushed to d extreme

    Make them watch educative cartoons indoors, and chec on them once in a while and watch it that there are no small toys that they can swallow,if they are to be alone and get them snacks

    Get a lesson teacher for them to occupy them a bit,make d little one start school as well .

    Well i use this trick often,doh i can't promise u d jumping will stop, but u need all the rest u can get at this stage.

    U can also try a male help and since u 've boys

    Pls just get an old woman to help and clean daily and leave at night, was doing that till i decided to get a small maid this year to keep d boys busy nd reduce emotional attachment.

    For our bro in law,don't fight him,jus make sure hubby comes back and let him see u doing d chores in a distress state am sure he will ask 4 his .bro load down.

    Take it easy and enjoy motherhood.God bless

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous10/12/2013

      POÓSTÉR: thanks to all who dimed it fit to give me a motherly advice,I apprecaite u all and to Creampalace,thank u in another special way cos u made mention of my bro inlaw. I pray God will help me abide with ur advice apart from getting any maid cos bringing anoda plus my Bro inlaw will be like hell.

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    2. his mum10/13/2013

      Time out is the best. Been working for my little man and now he's a very cooperative 5yr old. Also give treats(ice cream,sweats,things they like) as reward for good behaviour. Praising good behaviour and talking not shouting corrects bad behaviour better. Give them reasons why what they r doing is bad or unacceptable. Never resort to beating or threatening cos they'll get used to it and know 'it's only a threat after all '

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  14. Hw can u suggest 4her 2 cain her 2yr nd 1 year old baby?r u 4real?its deir tym okay?its jus a mata of tym.cainin dem won't hlp at ds stage bkos deir skin is so tender.scare dem with ojuju or cockroach den as tym gooes on..Yu can spank dem wen dey r older bkos dey wil b more sensible.

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  15. Poster to be a good parent you need wisdom, and who gives wisdom God. I suggest you read power of a praying parent by stormie, then supernatural birth by Jackie. Am suggesting them because they are books everyone should read. These are the formative years and what ever foundation you build now is what will be the basis of every other thing they will learn. Pray to God for wisdom to know when to use words, when to be tender, when to use the rod. Esc the grace to understand each child and how to train them. For the housework, get a help that will come and clean the house, dishes and wash the kids cloth when she is done she will go to her house. The person should be Godfearing, neat, hardworking, btw 35 to 25 years, make you pray very well before picking anyone. Pray this ' as you (call your childs name) start to get exposed to extended families, minders, I secure you frm every evil transference and I put a mark and hedge of God upon you. You shall not be a partaker of any covenant contrary to that of the living God. I secure you frm epidemics and accidents at home and outside.

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  16. Anonymous10/13/2013

    Goodday Ma, I salute the house o, dont know if anyone remember me? its been long thou, I put up a post sometime ago saying I took an Injection without my Husband's consent and ever since iv not been able to conceive for close to 2yrs after.., Anybody remember me now??
    I am thanking God for his goodness and wonders in my life, I am 6wks gone and I just discover this 2days ago, I had even made a down payment for another round of treatment unknown to me dt I was already pregnant!
    I appreciate the house for the prayers and words of encouragement, God will meet everyone at the point of your needs IJN, Amen.
    Btw, I have not told my husband bcos I want to surprise him with it on his birthday and we would be going to Malta on an Holiday for his Birthday so I will let the Bomb out on dt Day.
    I will definitely come back to gist the house after everything..lol
    Thanks once more everyone and Aunty Eya, keep the good work going God is with you.

    Abiodun Baby

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  17. Anonymous10/13/2013

    Goodday Ma, I salute the house o, dont know if anyone remember me? its been long thou, I put up a post sometime ago saying I took an Injection without my Husband's consent and ever since iv not been able to conceive for close to 2yrs after.., Anybody remember me now??
    I am thanking God for his goodness and wonders in my life, I am 6wks gone and I just discover this 2days ago, I had even made a down payment for another round of treatment unknown to me dt I was already pregnant!
    I appreciate the house for the prayers and words of encouragement, God will meet everyone at the point of your needs IJN, Amen.
    Btw, I have not told my husband bcos I want to surprise him with it on his birthday and we would be going to Malta on an Holiday for his Birthday so I will let the Bomb out on dt Day.
    I will definitely come back to gist the house after everything..lol
    Thanks once more everyone and Aunty Eya, keep the good work going God is with you.

    Abiodun Baby

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    Replies
    1. Mrs Dayo10/14/2013

      Wow, so happy for you. I remember you very very well. Congrats and safe delivery.

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    2. Anonymous10/24/2013

      Congrats Abiodun. This is really fantastic. God is good!

      Delete
  18. Anonymous10/14/2013

    @Poster, I want you to understand that what your kids are displaying is what every other child ESPECIALLY THE MALE within that age group can do. This is the reason the 'Whites' termed that age bracket the "Terrible Twos". All you need most times is talking to them, engaging them to channel their energy properly and introducing them to patterned living - bathing time, reading time, tv tyme, napping, sleeping etc. I suffered it then with my two year old. It was terrible but he is six today and has virtually calmed down almost completely. Its just a passing phase and soon you will get through it. Cheers

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  19. In Psychiatry there is the phase 'terrible two'. Its that age of the two year olds that they say no to everything. Unfortunately beating doesn't faze them either. They are just that way at that age. You have to be patient. You can put them in daycare and get a breather. Most day cares operate until late. That way, you can even finish your house chores before they return home. Also yes, constructive toys and these kids DVD's have helped too. My kids love all the colours and stuff they see on Disney Jnr. Rather than shout, I cut their TV time when they misbehave. It works better than shouting. So my two year old daughter, who practically says 'No' to even answering her name loves the disney character 'Doc Mcstuffins'. I got her the full Doc set and a small lab coat. When she is getting obnoxious, I tell her all her toys have taken ill. By the time she finishes the treatment for all of them, she gets tired. School helps too. I keep wondering how their teachers cope sha. Just try but beating isn't the answer.

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  20. Just take it easy, that's the same thing I'm going thru. I've tried everything, right now, we have a bad behaviour corner. If they misbehave, I will just sit them down in d bad behaviour corner with no toys and they'll be all alone. By the time they spend 30minutes without moving they'll learn an unforgettable lesson

    ReplyDelete

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