How Do I Combine Hubby Staying In Nigeria And Education For Two Years In The UK With A Child?

Gudday aunt Eya...I'd lyk to remain ANONYMOUS.
God bless you and WC members for all I learned on this blog. Please I need Godly counsel...I'd like to have a 2nd degree in the UK or Canada. 


...due to the nature of the course( Radiography) I studied in school. It's new and only 5 universities offer it in Nigeria.
Reality is I don't have enough funds yet and unfailingly by Gods grace I'd b getting married next year. BTW hubby to be is in support.


I need counsel on how to bring this dream to a reality knowing that there's gonna be a child as soon as possible.
I'm

so confused.... a child, hubby staying in Nigreia, Education in the UK/Canada.....
How do I combine these 3?
Thanks WC.

Comments

  1. Prioty!! One at a time that's d solution. U can get married, go to school, when u r thru wit d 2yrs course, u then get pregnant. Simple!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10/24/2013

      @ poster online degree is better but is jst expensive. Save ur marriage

      Delete
    2. Anonymous10/28/2013

      Priority is the answer. I think this marriage can wait for another year. You have d rest of ur your lives together after school.. you're not going to be here anyway so what's d point? It's not advisable to be away from it husband at d early stages of marriage. That's when u shud be building the foundations. While ure there,keep praying for him. Surrender ur relationship to God.. .

      Delete
  2. Anonymous10/24/2013

    happy home!!! get married, have kids, do ur 2nd degree in nigeria it doesnt av to be in radiography, you could choose another course of interest, and be happy. most importantly PRAY for GOD'S guidiance.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous10/24/2013

    You can discuss with your husband as well.To me you should set your priorities

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  4. Anonymous10/24/2013

    who told you that Radiography is new in Nigeria hian??????????????????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10/24/2013

      I wonder oh!

      Delete
  5. Anonymous10/24/2013

    I'm also going through the same presently, in fact the whole issue makes my head Ache, I got Admission for this September, but due to late processing of visa, I couldn't go, so I wrote to the school to defer the Admission till January, only to be told the course won't run in January, but the Admission had been deferred till September 2014, according to my initial plan, is to start the course September this year, and finish by October next year and get married same next year. But presently I'm confused because my fiance can't wait another year which 2015 before we do our wedding, he has not been happy with the deferral of Admission till next year. He don't have a say now, because that is my parent plan for me, I don't know what I will do, pls can somebody help me out

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous10/24/2013

    Radiography is not new in nigeria! Get ur priorities right. U knw what u want most. I'd advice you to get the degree before having children if u r leaving the country. Its up to you to know if you want to get married b4 the degree.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous10/24/2013

    Hmmmmm, this happened to me 5yrs ago, I was processing my 2nd degree b4 I met my husband, den we met dated for a year n half,he wanted marriage, I wanted school, we got married den I went to sch just after our honeymoon, it was not a funny ride, I was in US he was in Nigeria, we were newly wed n b4 I started enjoying my marriage it almost collasped, we were having major issues bcos US is far different from Nigeria, d bills,mentality n all.
    To cut d long story short after my degree I got a job in US but had to turn it down, came back to Nigeria bcos I wanted my marriage to work,(meanwhile my husband did not want to come to US), got a job 2mths later but my marriage was still collasping, after a year of marital drama, God saved my marriage.

    Poster, pls pls n pls, if its school u want 1st go for ur schooling den u can come back to get married,if ur guy can wait fine. U can't combine d 3 together, believe me when I say so.

    But in my own little experience, sch can wait, get married know ur spouse well enough, save for sch, kid(s) will come den u can go for sch.

    Adebubler.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think the main issue is to have the understanding of your to be husband. If he supports your goals of furthering your studies overseas, then get married, get pregnant, go to school. You can have the baby while yiu are in school. It may delay your graduating time a bit but it is possible. Your husband will wait for you in Nigeria until you are done.

    I know someone who went through the same process. The husband didn't run away with another woman.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10/24/2013

      Different strokes 4diff folks. My friend did her Ph.D in the uk immediately after her wedding. Her husb travelled 2d uk most of the time cos her course of study was quite demanding. She gave birth there and her mum stayed with her till her dota turned 1. The sad issue then was that her hubby flirted and slept with anything in skirt all through while she was in the uk.

      Delete
    2. You see? U can never have it all. One side or two must suffer.

      Delete
  9. Anonymous10/24/2013

    @ poster please se your priorities right! if you want to go to school go or get married. one @ a time.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I agree with the above comments, set your priorities 1st. But it will be difficult to start the three together. If you get married, get pregnant and return to school, your husband will be here alone, how often can he come to see you and you to see him. You see that time u would have spent studying your partner and developing the capacity and ability to accommodate your partner won't be available. Then when the baby is born the father won't have the opportunity to bond etc. Also you complained about funds, so how do u want to have a baby and school when u don't have enough funds. To me family comes 1st.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous10/24/2013

    from d post, I fink poster is already pregnant

    ReplyDelete
  12. Some people have been able to combine all if you agree with your husband and learn to manage your time but it is not easy, and some lose either the marriage or fail in their degree. Marriage is work, so is education especially a master's degree abroad. So be prepared for stress from all angles, if you're pregnant already, it may be extra hard. Think well on it before you go ahead.

    ReplyDelete
  13. My own is even worse ooooo plz I need help, hubby is doing his phd in uk and its for 3yrs we r getting married in dec and he jt started studing dis year, I need a lot of advice on how to run a distance marriage without d marriage collapsing........

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous10/24/2013

      I have a sister that is in the same situation with a child nd the husband is studing abroud,she was just a month preggy wen the hubby left and the child is now a big boy thue they went over they to visit him.

      Delete
  14. Anonymous10/24/2013

    At poster,if u are to marry and study without giving birth now better,but to marry,give birth and go to school abroad, my dear sister it is very very very depressing,stressful,can bring problem to the family etc, First ask ur self who will take care of ur baby when u give birth,are u going to leave the baby in Nigeria, for who? Are u going to take the baby along with u and who will take care of him when u want to have lecture or write an exam. My dear it is not easy at all. I was a victim but I studied here in Nigeria,I met my husband before gaining adimmition,he said he will wait till I graduate but in my 2nd year I got pregy for him and we got married,we were not in the same state but his people stay in the same city with me, if not for his peoples help I would hv gotten a 3rd class in my exam but with their help and surport from both my huband and his people I was able to get a manegable result, that little farness btw my hubby and I always course problem for us even thue he comes back or I go to visit him with the baby. It was not easy at all.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I have a hubby, I have a baby, I have a household to organise, I am in school doing my masters, I am going mad and get this, I'm in Nigeria. Multiply it by Ten and that's how it'll be if you're outside the country. Pls just finish sch. Before thinking about a baby. Don't put yourself and your child through that stress.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol precious, you are hilarious! I feel you o jare, sometimes I feel like my life just decided to take a pause.

      Delete
  16. Anonymous10/25/2013

    I had a similar experience . Got married, got pregnant then had do a 12 Month intensive graduate school in the US, had a baby in school and almost died! while my hubby was in Nigeria the whole time.
    Major issues that you have to consider are;
    1. Financial status!!!
    2.Your ability to cope with the demands of school and getting value out of the money you intend to spend on your education
    3.Child help options available and affordable to you abroad (if and only if your mom can be with you 100% of time then you may have a less rough ride)
    4. Your husbands support of the whole process!

    Kids, school and temporary separation from your hubby is doable but extremely challenging and can change your marriage and personality forever.

    My candid advice: Talk with your fiance about your plans, if he can, give you one year to pursue your dream (that will be fine), get married and then have kids. I have a friend who waited five years after marriage before having kids in order to complete her PHD degree. Above all, Let God's Spirit guide you on the best options but definitely 'No sex before marriage' o!. That sets you back and complicates things...
    all the best. Pursue your Dreams!

    ReplyDelete
  17. @Poster I was once in your shoes @ schooling abroad. considering marriage and all,I gained admission last year (UK) but I deferred till this year. Early this year, my fiance told me he would not be able to cope with the distance blah blah blah. I was SAD but I had to reconsider. I had to look for another school. Though not in Nigeria but in a country close to Nigeria. Distance does a TERRIBLE THING TO LOVE. See Marriage is not beans at all. I know you want an international education/degree and all but PLS set your priorities right biko. What's the use of the certificate or degree when there is no Husband and Children? No 1)Talk to you hubby about it. 2) Be sure you are ready for this. 3) you av to be MEGA sure(I hope that is possible) that your hubby loves GOD and he is out to obey him so he doesn't cheat on you and most importantly, take it to GOD in prayers. I wish you the very best.

    ReplyDelete
  18. From the tone of this post I sense u are already pregnant. If u are not yet then set ur priorities and do it one @ a time.

    ReplyDelete

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