How Do I Advise Her Please? I Need Tips

Hello, Aunty Eya good morning and WC. Please help.
There is this my uncle’s daughter living with me that is giving me a headache. She doesn’t know how to organize anything. Even her own room is as dirty as a mad woman’s room. After eating, she will leave the dirty plates and start playing. Even to sweep in the morning when she wakes up no way.
The worst thing is that when she is having  her menses, she soaks her underpants and everything in the bathroom with the blood till the following morning and the whole place will start smelling. 

She urinates and leaves the toilet without flushing  and when asked, she will say she forgot. She is just too dirty. And this is somebody that has started having boyfriends. 

She doesn’t have a personal initiative. You must tell her everything before she does it.
I've advised her severally but all efforts prove abortive.
am afraid because if she continues like this and eventually gets married, they will send her back to her father’s house.
Please wives connection family, how do I advise her to make it stick?


  1. Poster as a good relative to her, the best you can do is to keep giving her advice as you have always done. Teach her the importance of personal hygiene and etiquette. Let her know that no man wants a dirty lady and yes tell her that her husband in future may end up disliking her if she doesn't change. Oh pls as for the panties, scold her about it until she stops.
    The Ealier the better.

  2. Anonymous10/09/2013

    almost d same thing with my uncles daughter dat came 4 holiday. D different is dat she is nt dirty. She is extremely lazy at 19. U stil tel her to wash plate. Wash her cloth. She dnt knw how to cook soup just minor food. We are correctn her evry minute. D dad just want them to read and b educatd . D mom does evry thnig

  3. Chaii! I weep for her in advance. Please the best u can do is to kip scolding and correcting her, if she grows up like dat part of the blame wil also be chanelld to u as her guardian. Continue to sing it into her ears, I pray she learns too.

  4. Anonymous10/09/2013

    Abeg which one be una own? All these sabi sabi women. U won't face ur business its to be monitoring a poor girl left under your car. Una go monitor husband monitor pikin. Na ur pant wey she soak? Shuo? Na wa o! Face ur marriage. Mind your business. U will only make her hate u. If its ur housegirl its allowed to caution her, also if she is ur child. But a 19 or 18 year old is a woman. So mind ur business. If she gets married n d husband chases her e concern u? Abi na u b her papa? Na wa o! U r really a jobless housewife. N its ur type that gives us bad names. Get a job or start a business pls.

    1. Anonymous10/10/2013

      You are sooooooooooooooooooooooooo useless.

    2. Anonymous10/11/2013

      Makes me wonder the kind of household you run.....

    3. The Comment was posted deliberately to get replies. For I dont expect a completely insane person to visit this blog. This commenter is completely sane, and living off the replies, I'm sure. Some people sha

    4. sumbrits10/15/2013

      Thank you for that ans#tope fabusola#,imdtly I read it samwthn came to mind...@anon 6.22 to b ignored.

    5. My pleasure, Sumbrits. People still respond to the comment, as you can see. Mission accomplished for Anon 6.22; Attention caught.

  5. Anonymous10/09/2013

    Bad advice! Vry bad advice. Poster. Dnt kip quiet. @ ano 622pm. Na wa o. I believer u must be lazy 2.

    1. Anonymous10/09/2013

      Anon 6:22 must be a very dirty woman

  6. Anonymous10/09/2013

    even if she is jobless, she need to correct her haba na wa o. I BELIEVE U MUST BE A LAZY PERSON!

  7. Anonymous10/09/2013

    Anon 6.22pm.. I dnt knw wat to say abt ur case. I believe u shuld re read ur comment and c d foolishness in it!

  8. Dear Poster,

    As far as I'm concerned, you have a part to play in that girl's life so long she's in your care.

    Like someone said, start by lecturing her on the implication of her behaviour in future. Try to research online to find implication of taking one's hygiene lackadaisically. Print it out for her and let her read.

    Also I feel a male needs to step in too as per a man's perspective.
    You have tried talking and since it isn't working, you might be a little strict. If you give her allowance or get things for her, withdraw it when she fails to do what she supposed to do.

    Is she stubborn? If she isn't, then she will change; it's just a matter of patience and encouragement. Does any of her friends visit her at home? You could get them involved in this matter.

    Personal hygiene is very good for a lady esp. during her menses else she will pay for it in the future(a la body odour, vaginal odour and infections).

    Even her boyfriend may leave her when he finds out she's the untidy type.

    If she fails to take her neatness and hygiene seriously now, she will blame herself(and might blame all who could have helped) later.

  9. Anonymous10/09/2013

    Anon 6:22, I do hope u're not as dumb as ur comment..

  10. Anon 6:22 I weep 4u mk she nor monitor ha children abi u must be worse dan a pig.madam pls keep advicin her until she changes its ur job 2do so okay?she must b ur biological daughter b4 u tk action aldo she may think u r maltreatin her but l8r in d future u wil b glad u changed a soul.dont stop tolkin biko.anon 6:22 b careful wot u say else ur pikin go slap u 4 real life den ul start lookin 4 help.pls change ur perspective it wil do u alota gud

  11. Does she hav friends dat come 2 visit her @ home? Male or female dt she probably meets outside or in d parlour. Weneva ha rum is at its untidiest and a friend comes 2 visit, tel ha 2 take d pers 2 ha rum. Insist. Bliv me, she wouldn't wnt em 2 knw hw untidy she is n I'm sure she alwys dresses well wen going out. Afta showin off ha untidy rum a couple of tyms, she ll buckle up. But dnt mak it obvious dt u wnt dem 2 go n stay in ha rum bcos its untidy.

  12. Anonymous10/10/2013

    Well she came into ur life for reason! Just play ur own role so that nothing stands against u b4 God on her matter!
    Well I will offer some tips I learnt from my grandma #smiles#
    1. When she soaks anything, just jejely throw them away!(My sister was almost nt having anythg to wear) b4 she got the msg, NO DEY SOAK CLOTHES.
    2. Give her one set of plate, cup, cutleries and make sure she does not use any other one! Meaning NO PLATES NO FOOD(na me suffer dat one pass as I get phobia for washing plates)
    3. Please ehn if possible just dedicate one toilet to her and lock everyother one in d house! (Make una ready to buy strong freshner sha)
    4.Pray for her

  13. The solution is...
    Deprive her, Reprimand her and lastly if she doesn't change Deport her!

    If you don't deport her now 1 man will do that to her in the future! Let her by the consequence of her actions, or if she's ur daughter won't you be stern on her?

    Anyway, it's ur call.


  14. Funny thing is that she might grow up to be a neat lady.....that's if she is shy.

  15. Anonymous10/11/2013

    Pls poster aw old is dis person you are talking about pls?

  16. Anonymous10/11/2013

    Is so hard to discipline someone else child,hence they would say you are maltreating her!

  17. Anonymous10/11/2013

    @ anon 9:37am. Abeg leave dat thing,i knw wat u said is true. If she stil leave her they wil say she is wicked dat she refuse to correct her.

  18. chioma. R.d10/11/2013

    sorry o madam anon 9:37. Hp u dnt also live ur life by wat pple says or u may be among d demsay. @ poster abeg correct dat child o.

  19. Anonymous10/11/2013

    Wait, how old is she? If she is grown woman then she is a lazy person. Best way for her to learn is to make her live on her own. Whenever she has company, and they see this, they will clown her and make her pity herself. She will be talked about to her face and she will then get the picture. Sometimes it has to be that way. Outsiders are the best teachers when it comes to dealing with harsh reality.

  20. Anonymous10/12/2013

    I have been in these shoes before and I know what it feels like to be the girl. Part of her problem can be very well attributed to laziness. I used to do all these you mentioned. Maybe not as dirty as her though, but some things you mentioned. One thing that helped me. My mum NEVER stopped talking. Never!!! Even though I didn't want to hear it, she still talked. Now I'm 21 preparing to get married. LOL I can now see that Mama is always right. I'm getting my acts together perfectly now. Just don't stop talking to her about it. By shouting, counselling,praying for her. She would change.

  21. Anonymous10/14/2013

    Sounds like she may have some mental or learning disability. She should probably go for evaluation with a psychologist or psychiatrist.


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