Wife beater: How Do I Tell Mum To Leave Him Now? I Need Advice Please

MY HORRIBLE LIFE

Good evening aunty eya,my story is a very sad one and it has taken a while to post this.
I am 19 years old and since the day I Knew little things, I have seen my dad beat up my mum,he is a fighter,everywhere he goes he fights and embarrasses us and comes home to continue...now he claimed he prayed and promised God not to touch my mum but the witchcraft shifted to my aunt(he beat her every time till she left)and when we try to help he beats us as well.

My life is a horrible one and whenever I'm not home,I'm the happiest.he is a self righteous man...thanks to him we all are loners and can't have friends not even my mum.

He pretends to church members and paints the perfect picture but starts to quarrel once we are in the car,when we were smaller, mum was tempted to leave but stayed because of us and Christianity..

Right now we are all grown and I think it's high time she left and be finally happy,she works in an oil firm so she won't suffer.

As I type this mail, I'm sitting with a chair holding my room door with my sisters and my mum is outside saving us again and crying... 
My elder brother went to school today so he obviously was waiting for him to leave...what wud happen tomorrow when mum goes to work scares me... 

I need your advice, how do I tell my mum to leave???...she regrets the marriage.pls hide my details.tanx

Comments

  1. Anonymous9/16/2013

    Aunty Eya publish my mail now ahn ahn...
    How much do I have to pay? Please let me know cos I will pay sharpily o, I need advice BADLY.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Poster, please your mother has suffered enough. The woman has taken beatings all her life until now that you kids are all grown and the man hand never tire to strike.

    Her case is different cos she is finacvially empowered and does not need him to validate her life. She should be happy for once in her adult life.

    He does not appreciate her now but will certainly do when she lives separately from him. You the children too will have another home where you can be happy for sure. You all should seek happiness please and shun sorrow. Leave him to learn the importance of having your family with you.

    Mum should quietly get a place far far away while you all plan secretly and vamoose leaving him a note.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. she is financially empowered.

      Delete
  3. Anonymous9/16/2013

    Tell ur pastor & sm oda pple who can talk tu hm&if ds doesn‘t wok den let ur mum luk 4 accomdatn so dat she can leave(seperate)4m hm 4 smtym&let ur mum 2 b bold tu chalege hm&u 2 d children shd rise tu d issue by defendin ha always,its well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous9/16/2013

      Listen to me please. The only way he will stop is if your mom stands up to him or he meets a bigger bully than himself. Since we know your mom wouldn't be standing up to him anytime soon. I suggest you pay some thugs to trail him and give him the beating of his life. He should be told that they have been watching what he has been doing to his wife and they will visit again if he doesn't stop. If he lays a finger on her again notify them to repeat. He will stop. Guaranteed. No one ever gets a third visit.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous9/17/2013

      Listen to me please. The only way he will stop is if your mom stands up to him or he meets a bigger bully than himself. Since we know your mom wouldn't be standing up to him anytime soon. I suggest you pay some thugs to trail him and give him the beating of his life. He should be told that they have been watching what he has been doing to his wife and they will visit again if he doesn't stop. If he lays a finger on her again notify them to repeat. He will stop. Guaranteed. No one ever gets a third visit.

      Delete
  4. Anonymous9/16/2013

    Please,all of you should leave today.I was once there and its not funny.That I'm a happy well-rounded woman today is cos my parents are separated.its a long story shA but leave with your mum before its too late cos if your mum leaves alone,he'll take it out on you and your sisters

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous9/16/2013

    I beg poster tie him wen is alsp, jst put slp tablet in his drink then tie him lock his door. Make sure nobody is around. He dey crazy. He shld tank his GOD dat am not his daughter I will hve tell some guys to pour him acid in his hand.

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    Replies
    1. gloexcel9/16/2013

      Ds ur advice na wicked 1 ooO! Plz dont do dat cos nobody wll listen 2 ur side of d story oO including ur mum n siblings.... I fink all of u shuld leave him secretly b4 he kill ur mum n blame it on d devil

      Delete
  6. Anonymous9/16/2013

    It's better u leave that house quickly. He will realise, look for u and apologise. But if u dnt leave him now, he would not know that w@ he s dng is bad! Dnt let him kill ur mother for u before he realises his mistake and call it the work of the devil. Pls, leave!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous9/17/2013

      Ok oo, here is my wicked advice, ALL of u shud leave. I cud never bear so much for so long. I am a very strong willed woman, I can't take too much rubbish, what is that, u just said it u are all grown so go away and don't take him back even when he begs, just tis morn my husband was telling me something about one womanizing man and I said the man must have changed by now cos he is old " but my husband said habits die hard, gbam ! He won't change don't leave a miserable life, life is short. Tell ur mum to go, why did she even stay tis long wen she can cater for her children. Pls a word dy say is enough for those who are wise.
      Wish u well.
      Mrs A
      .

      Delete
    2. Anonymous9/17/2013

      My dear I was there and my mum had to leave with us.so pls let ur mum leave other wise this system will make u and ur siblings feel rejected in public.u can't mix up freely with Pple and it will even affect u in ur future relationships so to get ur life and happiness back,stay away from him.

      Delete
  7. Anonymous9/16/2013

    I know what if feel to live in a house where the parents fight everyday.

    i would advice your mom to leave,look for quiet place to live.once u guys are gone ur dad would come back to his senses.

    though my mum still lives with my dad but i doubt if they talk @ home.lol

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous9/16/2013

    I think there is need for your parents to be separated for a while but don't forget to continue praying for your father. He will definitely regain sanity some day.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous9/16/2013

    There was a very similar mail to this one 19 year old whose papa beats the mother in SDK a few weeks back

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous9/17/2013

      did we ask you? Or you think only one man beats his wife in the whole of Nigeria??? Amebo

      Delete
    2. Anonymous9/17/2013

      Yes you asked me

      Delete
  10. Dear Aunty Eya, pls help me to publish this so I can get advice from people.
    I have written before but it was not published.

    My name is Rose, I am 30 yrs old. I got married to a man I dated for only 3 months this January. The bride price was paid by Jan and we are planning for our traditional and church wedding by Dec and we have been living together since then because of my job.

    The problem now is that I have found out that we don,t have so much in common. We argue almost everyday because he always has this feeling that I want to show him that I am a graduate. He rejects any suggestion I bring and tells me that he may not have gone to school but he knows he is better than me. I try all I can to let him know that it dosen,t matter if I am more educated than him but he already has this believe that educated women are full of themselves and will always want to control their husband so he has decided to turn down any suggestion I bring so that he will be in control.

    Secondly, he dosen,t give me money for anything I want to do personally. Since that Jan, he has never given me money for cloth, shoes, even to make my hair. He keeps promising that he knows how to take care of women that when the time comes, he will spoil me with money. He gets money and buys enough food and anything we use together but dosen,t bother about my personal needs though he is still good in a way.

    He tells me about a girl he dated for almost 6years but the girl refused to marry him because he forced her to do abortion. The girl still calls him even demanding for his financial assistance though he turned it down but he refused to tell her he is married. Tells me he wants to tell her after our wedding because he doesn,t want problem.

    I have a strong feeling that I he may even become worst after the wedding but the issue now is that I don,t know what to do because I feel that if I stop the marriage, I may find it difficult to get married again because I have some health issues that has to do with reproduction. My people will be disappointed in me because my sisters are happily married with kids and there has never been a case of break up in our entire family. Also my sister warned me against the marriage a day before the bride price was paid by telling that she noticed that I am not in love with the man but only wanted to get married but I told her it was too late.

    The issue is that I am not happy, not even excited about the wedding plan. I feel I am walking into a pit but don,t know how to stop myself. Please I need to hear what you have to say on this issue because I am confused.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous9/17/2013

      My dear u have to take it easy o.talk to him about it and et him know ur concerns.white wedding or not u are already legally married so it's not a matter of walking into a pit,if u see it that way it means u are already in side the pit.the trad is the main Kokoruw cos without it no white wedding.if u told ur sister a day to the wine carrying that it was too late then it's too late now.3 months is too early for this so u have to device ways to make it work cos girl u just started this journey which will not end any time soon.thats my take on this issue dear.stay blessed.

      Delete
    2. Ajebutter9/18/2013

      It's not too late, it's never late, let ur people return the dowry. Except u want to live a life of regret & unhappiness. Same thing happened to my sister, After their trad, she moved in with him while they were planning their white wedding, during that time, she found out that they were not compatible at all, I warned her to call off the wedding, she thought that it was too late, I told her it was better late than becoming sorry for herself in the end. Now its been 2.5 years And she's miserable in the marriage the worst part is that he has isolated her from the world, made her cut ties with her family & friends. Stopped her from working because of his insecurity & low self esteem, abuses her physically, verbally & emotionally, infact to mention but a few. My dear poster, follow ur heart, listen to ur instincts and forget the word 'it's late'

      Delete

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