Before You Say I Do

Hi guys decided to share a few of my thoughts on this issue this is owing to the fact that so many people get it wrong and eventually end up sad. Lemme give a short analogy to explain the entire point I want to make. Imagine two daughters have the same father daughter A holds her fathers hand and asks  him to help her when its time to cross the gutter, he does exactly that and she crosses it safely, daughter B decides to cross on her own, as she crosses it she falls down she cries out to her father and he will certainly come to her aid. But will coming to her aid change the consequences of the fall? NO Well it's the same with marriage no matter what you need Gods direction to enable you sail through. Marriage is so important that the devil is never happy for you to get it right. The ultimate key is seeking Gods face, find out his plan for you first, single ladies pls single hood is not the time to be desperate but the time to develop capacity, for marriage. 

Ladies you are so precious that even the sons of God saw the daughters of men and marveled at what God created, don't turn yourself into a pity bag. Take that time to invest in yourself, the truth is if you don't know if you are a square, triangle, round or circle type of lady you won't know what type of man can fit into you perfectly. If you are a triangle woman how do you think a square man can fit into you. Many times we don't even know who we are because we have spent so much time becoming like our friends or what society wants us to be, then we start searching for the man we want, pls know that the man you want is not necessarily the man you need.

 God can speak to you through dreams, visions, his word, people around you, but because God spoke to sister A through a dream doesn't mean he will speak to you the same way. Once God speaks to you he will definitely confirm his word and his word must fulfill the purpose for which it was sent. But because the word has come doesn't mean you will rush off to wed, pls wait again till you get the confirmation because it is at that time the devil also sends his candidate to confuse us. Every tree in due season will bear fruits. The place of spiritual direction and mentorship, pls have someone that can guide you with prayers etc, Esther got to the position of a Queen because she followed all what mordecia told her to do, Ruth got to boaz because she followed what Naomi told her to do.

 In all this pls enjoy your time being single and let no one make you think it is a bad situation, it is just a phase that will pass. For those already in a serious relationship that may be leading towards marriage, please take time to evaluate the man, is he a gardener or a hunter? A gardener is a husband that will take time to groom you, nurture you, and multiply you, he works on all the good and bad things he saw in you till bloom into a radiating rose. 

A hunter finds a woman of virtue, he marries her, makes sure he sucks all the good in you, eventually kills your dream. A hunter will never tell you his plans, neither is he interested in your plan, his motive is ever selfish and his words and actions are centered on himself.

Please run away from such a man. For as many that are already married its never too late for the father to bring you out of the gutter,  remember all things work together for good to those that love God. Seek the father's face and let him take charge of your husband. God bless us all and make us virtuous women in line with proverbs 31.
Deborah Bala.
Deborah blogs at THE WORD


  1. BeeCee9/09/2013

    Yay, first to comment.
    Ehen, THAT AFRICAN CHICK, abeg cut us some slacks o. Must we see you on every post? Babe stop stalking WC and other Naija blogs and go look for followers on Google and Yahoo. Na wetin, we don tire with your numerous adverts evrywhere naa ahn ahn.

    Every post you must appear with one line advice and long advert, give us some breathing space oooo. Go on a short break for now abeg.

    Aunty Eya, if you delete my comment, sorry for you.

    1. are you making any sense @ all?

    2. Thanks Deborah for this piece. May God grant us our desired spouse.

    3. Thanks for the advert. Have a beautiful day :))

  2. Anonymous9/09/2013

    Nawaa ooo. See so her blog dey pain u. Dt African chick.i lv ur blog. Keepn movin frward baby.

    Thnks deborah,i enjoy ds piece. I started praying fr my future husband wen i was 16 in SSS3. I prayed about it ceaselessly fr 6yrs cos i didnt lyk my parents marriage. Indeed God honoured His word n gv me a man after His hrt. N above al He has restored my parents marriage.

  3. Anonymous9/09/2013

    Amazing piece Deborah.Lord pls help me seek ur face.

  4. Wow! This is such a luvly and inspiring piece Deborah. Thank you :)

  5. Anonymous9/09/2013

    Nice piece Deborah just learnt something my wedding is in dec.n thank God 4dat cos it has not been easy but when I Decided to put it in God's hand he blessed me wit a lovely man I have learnt so much 4rm dis blog.a big thank u 2 Aunty Eya.Cece

  6. Anonymous9/09/2013

    God bless U̶̲̥̅̊ real G̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡D̶̲̥̅ aunty Deborah fφя̩̥̊ D̶̲̥̅̊Į̸̸̨Ƨ̷ wonderful write up.Ȋ̝̊†̥ Ȋ̝̊̅§ indeed an eye opener fφя̩̥̊ the singles Ąπϑ even the married ones.EPHY

  7. Anonymous9/09/2013

    God bless u o.

  8. Aunty Debo thank u o! May God bless me with a gardener type of man in jesus name.
    My soon to be married ladies based in the east can add me up for makeover booking.29FFF3EE. Thanks.

  9. Very good piece Deborah. Got me reflecting as well.

  10. Thanks deborah for this piece...
    You often times sound so motherly.

    The problem with marriages is not just having God involved but having your head involved alongside.. from the blast of the whistle.

    Many religious women/reverends and female ministers have also fallen like a pack of card. God will teach, lead and heal but do we humans play our own roles in faith, obedience, patience and loving unconditionally?

    The basic problem in my opinion is a total break down in morals, society, culture and religious values as we see today in the world over!


  11. Nice piece! It takes the man and woman to make a sweet marriage. May God help us have happier marriages

  12. Anonymous9/09/2013

    Nice one, I'm so sharing this.

  13. Chioma r.d.9/09/2013

    Aunty Deb. U are gud! I think if u sincerely seeK God and open ur heart to him 4 direction. He wil hlp mk tk d rite decision. Kudo to Aunty Eyah. My cookn was gd nw is better. THANK U 4 ALL THE RECIPIES O.U 2 MUCH

  14. Love this piece so much Deborah Bala!
    It's truly packed!
    But then again, some people find themselves in situations where the people who may qualify as "mordecai and Naomi" in their lives seem to be pressuring them towards a choice their heart isn't resonating with..... Maybe it once was and someone else came in who made them see everything that was wrong with the former choice- what do they do in the situation?
    I'm assuming in this intance that the "Mordecai and Naomi" symbols are actually family- family always want the best for us but then again, some families don't actually help.....
    Just in a little personal dilemma is all *bblargesmiley*
    That said, @ THAT AFRICAN CHICK, love your blog babes, its banging- easy, breezy, beautiful read- and extremely exciting!
    Keep advertising on blogs, I actually love seeing your adverts- it makes me wanna say "whoop, whoop"!

    1. You took the words on my lips out. Thanks
      @Deborah, you have done really well by teaching and inspiring us more. God bless home.

    2. Awww thanks for visiting :)) Beece has done today's advertising for me

  15. Anonymous9/10/2013

    She really did, am so checking it out @ African chic... Deborah! deborah!! Kisses from me girl u rock!


  16. Yay! My friend is back. Missed you so much. A wonderful piece you've got there and I won't hesitate sharing with my unmarried friends. God bless your home dear. SUNSHINE is truly blessed to have you.

  17. Anonymous9/12/2013

    Pls how do I get my comment posted here. I have serious issue I will like u pple to see and advice me wisely. Thank u.


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