Should I Leave Him Or Still Hang On?

Good day aunt Eya, pls kindly post this cos I really need advice from your readers e.g mama ijebu and co.*wink*...                               Am a 25yrs old graduate,and have been dating this guy since my first year at the University,while he was in his final year.

He's a wondeful man,martured,God fearing,humble,caring just name it,but the point is,he graduated like 5yrs ago,he's now 37 bt yet to get a decent job,he's just hustling from one minial job to another,n he's saying we shld get married in our own little way bt I don't also av a job cos I jst finished my nysc and everything just look hopeless.

Though
I wish to get married too but am just scared of our finances and him being able to take care of the family along the the way.now I have a guy disturbing me and very much comfortable and also proposing marriage to me..

should I go for him and see if the Grass will be greener at the other side or I should continue with my old boyfriend and see if things will still be alright with time?......thanks.                          Confused Lady

Comments

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. Anonymous8/29/2013

      Lol u are real mad person ; can stop laughing @ poster. Pray and fast oo. GOD knowns d best o

      Delete
    2. Anonymous8/29/2013

      Anybody that believes you are married at all not to talk of being married to a billionier is a learner. You are a full time SDS- single and DESPERATELY searching. I wish WC family can ignore you like I always do. Except for today that I had to put you in your place. You are so jobless coming to reply every post. Eya should resume blocking comments cause of you. I am sure you were so frustrated during that period. If you like come and curse but everything yoy say I say SAME to you. Frustrated hater and to think u come back as anon to laugh at your dry jokes, you are so pathetic.

      Delete
    3. For Christ's sake, seek Gods face before asking man for advice!!! Do you think marriage is beans? You want a man to tell you "marry this" or "marry that" and you'll do just that? Have you asked God who is supposed to be with you forever?

      This is someone you wanna spend the rest of your life with, and you can't do it without involving God. You're on your own if you don't pray about it.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous8/29/2013

      Anon 8;50,ogini kwa!why are u so pained?you don't sound like someone who just somebody in their place.ntorrrr let it pain you.Ezewanyi,I dey gbadun you no mind these haters,I ve been laughing since and the blog is alive once more.anon follow follow u leave one post enter anoda cos of eziiii u no even drop advice for the poster.pathetic lowlife

      Delete
    5. Ukwu Sugar8/29/2013

      Buhahahahahahaha!anon,its ok,its just a blog for pete's sake

      Delete
    6. Anonymous8/29/2013

      Julianah,are you Jay? Don't lie o!

      Delete
    7. Anonymous8/30/2013

      Anon 9.00 do u need negative comments for the blog to be lively? Then go to LIB or SDK or LLB cos WC is not the place for you. Did u see what Anon 8.50 said, Same to you for all the abuses, so you just ended up abusing yourself.

      Delete
  2. Chioma duru8/29/2013

    Na wa o. Mama and papa ijebu oya o. Faculty of knwledge dept of sense. Pls come ooo. Fire on d mountain o o o. @ poster, u beta wisen up o. Because no garri una go drink o. Just use ur No 6 o!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey! Poverty is a bastard.
    Like I always say true love died with Christ on the cross of calvary.
    Now the reason for the confusion is not love but money.
    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

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    Replies
    1. Am telling u, if d 1st guy had money, confusion won't set in. No one knows 2moro o and of course no lady wants 2 suffer, just pray abt it. Money isn't marriage o. 1st guy fit hammer dis hour o, God is still on d throne.

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    2. Anonymous8/30/2013

      @Bonario Nnags, you nailed it! money the root of all evil is truly the reason for the confusion. Women and money. @Poster, pls listen to the inner voice and I am sure you will surely get the answer. It happened to me but my focus was rather on education! had a m.sc proposal with non-challant attitude and school cert with so much love n prospects. In my heart, I had peace wit d school cert but was longing for the m.sc guy. God used an incidence to open my eyes and the I proceeded to marry the school cert who also is now a graduate and financially ok. I am also having a blissful marriage! Pls do not take your decision based on today's comfort. Courtship is always a life of fantasy and the real man will show up after marraige. Pls listen to the small still voice to lead you in your decision! gudluck!

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  4. Anonymous8/29/2013

    Find out more about d rich guy 1st b4 u go ahead.but na wahhh ohhh 2b poor na bad thing ohhhhh.Money good sha.lol on a more serious note poster just follow your heart

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/31/2013

      E nor go better for poverty

      Delete
  5. Anonymous8/29/2013

    @ naggs. Wetin u mean now?

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  6. Anonymous8/29/2013

    From d look of tins i will advice u go for d guy u av dated from ur university days ,u knw him more dan d new guy and i believe tins will change for him so far his nt lazy. All d same pray and fast abt it so u wont make a costly mistake cos marriage is nt somtin one can run into once u enter u ar der forever. Hallyshally

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  7. Anonymous8/29/2013

    Poster please don't marry a 37yr old man that is jobless Ooº°˚ at most ask him to set a target for himself. Which kin marry with no income. Pls Don't just leave to the comfortable man yet discover more of his traits and don't let him know you left the other guy cos of money for him Ooº°˚ otherwise he ll think you are a gold digger.

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  8. Shayor@Soup-aBowl8/29/2013

    My advice to u is: marry d guy u av always known and love, good tidings come with marriage o! He who finds a wife findeth a good thing! I bliv tins wld change for him wen u get married. My 2 cents...

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  9. Anonymous8/29/2013

    Follow ur heart o my dear. Sorry to deviate but me sef get problem o, I've. Bin married 4 3 mnths now n we hardly hv sex(once in a wk or in two wks)abeg is it normal Abi those films I watch that mk men luk like sex hungry pple lie to me wea no sabi anything. Chi

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous babe8/29/2013

      Hahahahaha!Sorry dear.Many men have low sex drives,sometimes lower than that of their partner.What you'll do is to check what turns him on and do it whenever you want to have sex.Or initiate lovemaking,touch him,or dance naked while he watches.In all make it seem like you didn't set out to seduce him and see what happens.It works for me every time.Goodluck!

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    2. Anonymous8/30/2013

      I no get that kind liver o but ill try it n I'm kinda feeling somehow always initiating sex.chi

      Delete
    3. Anonymous9/07/2013

      I was in a fantastic relationship once with a guy- good job, he was crazy about me and our connection was excellent- the only problem was the low sex drive- it frustrated the heck out of me- I am a chick that can go ten rounds in a day and that just was too frustrating.
      I did broach the topic once and he said that as long as I can turn him on, he'd be fine- it was preposterous- I'd find myself "working it" like a hooker in bed, at last, I couldn't biko- I couldn't keep up initiating love-making- when he even ever did (usually when we hadn't seen each other in about 2 weeks) he always came fast and that would be it for a starved me till perhaps, the next morning or evening.
      I'm engaged to a guy- I don't really have the same type of connection and compatibility I had with this other guy for him- I was really, really compatible with the other guy but, my fiance loves me to bits, would do anything for me, is comfortable too, a bit too sensitive about issues so I'm really respectful to him and not too free to joke with certain things other guy and I used to joke about but, the sex WAS great (now we're engaged, we're keeping things "holy" for favour, :)) - we can go 11 times a day and he's just a great size for me- I feel sexy just seeing it. Life.

      Delete
  10. Godchic8/29/2013

    Lord! Lord! Lord!u want to get married and ure coming to aunt Eya's blog to seek advice on who to marry,I'm sry but I sincerely doubt ur mental/spiritual state(sry again).Do u understand what marriage means @ all??? Let me ask u,so after getting advice from here u'l now go to God,ur second option ba? Its 4ny how ladies have little or no relationship with God and when they get married to the wrong person they start seeking his face and u expect God to speak,is God a fool??? God has real feelings!!! If u ignore him,he'l ignore u back! Wake up young lady,ure making a life-long decision,get on ur knees and start seeking the face of ur creator and u had better give ur life to christ while ure at it.don't think u can use God to help u decide who to marry and then dump him afterwards.and pls don't form"how do I know u aren't born again" I know cus if u are U won't be seeking for an answer to a question like this on a blog.Godbless u as u let God take charge of ur marital destiny.

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    1. I absolutely agree with you, am really sad and tired of all this posts, my boyfrnd beats me do I marry him? My boyfriend is not rich should I marry him. Marriage is not a joke, it's a lifetime covenant. When it comes to marriage satan is never happy if you get it right, if God brings one man to you the devil will bring 8 more that seem like it. How can you then know who is the man for you. Truly except you put God first you won't get it right. Prayer, and constantly asking God to lead. Because we don't put God 1st many women end up marrying a signboard instead of the main thing. Sisters even when you hear from God that doesn't mean you must go ahead sharp sharp to wed because its the trend, no! God always confirm his word, and his word won't go back void. Single ladies please singlehood is the time to build capacity not a time for desperation.

      Delete
    2. psychic9/03/2013

      Hello Adaisy! !

      Delete
  11. Anonymous8/29/2013

    Pls WC family, read the post on skill acquistion below and drop your comments. A sister needs them plssssssss! Bona, Ace, Debbie, Ahdaisy, Mama Ijebu, Lizzy, Ezenwanyi, QOC and even our madam, EYA! Pls do. Thanks.
    POSTER

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous8/29/2013

    Pls WC family, read the post on skill acquistion below and drop your comments. A sister needs them plssssssss! Bona, Ace, Debbie, Ahdaisy, Mama Ijebu, Lizzy, Ezenwanyi, QOC and even our madam, EYA! Pls do. Thanks.
    POSTER

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous8/29/2013

    Pls WC family, read the post on skill acquistion below and drop your comments. A sister needs them plssssssss! Bona, Ace, Debbie, Ahdaisy, Mama Ijebu, Lizzy, Ezenwanyi, QOC and even our madam, EYA! Pls do. Thanks.
    POSTER

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous8/29/2013

    Pls WC family, read the post on skill acquistion below and drop your comments. A sister needs them plssssssss! Bona, Ace, Debbie, Ahdaisy, Mama Ijebu, Lizzy, Ezenwanyi, QOC and even our madam, EYA! Pls do. Thanks.
    POSTER

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous8/29/2013

    Must u post ur comment 20times??razzarite

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  16. Lwkmd. Anon 10:40pm, take it easy nah. @ skill acquisition poster, people already advised you nah! Na until u see 80 comments ni?

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  17. @poster: just relax, no need to rush into marriage with any of them ohh,( the devil you knw is better than the angel you dont). You can't marry a jobless man either.. Shey na love una go chop when pickin begin pop up ni? why don't you finish ur NYSc, get a job and get ur life running while doing that, search your heart and ask urself this question can you endure with ur bfrnd even if he is not all that successfu.. How much do you love him? How much sacrifice can you and willingly make for him? How long can you endure with him till he becomes successful? If affirmative (you can wait for him) then, sit and talk to ur bfrnd frm the university, encourage him, tell him how much you love him (that's if u really do) advice him, what vision does he have for his life and aspirations and what he intend doing to achieve these vision, then pray to God abt him to show you if he is the man for ur life, also pray to God to help him achieve this vision especially if you/him believes in this vision then you both can start working towards achieving that goal. You don't need anyone to tell you who to marry ohh... Only God can show the signs. Pray to him while you work at achieving your goal.. It would surely work out as long as you put God first.
    and if d answers to d questions above is No: Don't rush into any relationship with ur new toaster ohh, money isn't everything ohh! At least pray abt him and get to know him well before you even start anything with him ohh! First be friends. If he is truly the one God will show you the signs with time... Cheers!

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  18. Good morning Eze Wanyi. Congratulations on your new status; you own a Google Account. There is something I'd like to tell you, it's about your choice of words. Anyone who has never posted a personal issue here to seek advice may not understand what I mean but those who have will perfectly do. Anyone who hasn't been attacked for giving advice may not understand but those who have been told that they have watery Veejay becasue they gave advice to others will certainly understand what I'm saying.

    Yes, there is enough room for everyone but let us not forget that it's not fair to hurt one while entertaining another. Let us choose our words carefully. You may feel like this sermon is unnecessary cos it's only a blog. No, I won't say it's only a blog cos we all bring our issuea and confusions here when we can't figure out who to confide in. Would you rather that people shy away from seeking the little help they can get here because of your choice of words? Words are very powerful whether we agree or not.

    When readers leave comments, the reply button is not for attack, it is there for a reason. Everyone has a right to his opinion, there is Freedom of expression but not when that freedom begins to hurt some blog readers. Life is not all about "fun and entertainment" There are times for serious business.

    Those who post and those who leave comments are all people like you and I, there is no spirit/ghost here. We all go anonymous to seek advice because we don't want people who know us to start confronting us in real life because of issues we bring here.

    NO ONE has a 100% perfect life in this world, that will happen when we get to heaven. For now, and considering that apart from spiritual leaders and family members, we in Nigeria do not really have where to run to when we get confused over certain issues. It's safer to come anonymously to a place like wives connection and seek the opinion of other like minded people.

    I know that you don't find it funny when you leave a comment and return back to see that it has been taken down by a blog administrator. The only reason some comments are taken down is the choice of words. Sometimes it's difficult to take down your comment because it is a great comment actually but one that has been "corrupted" by just a single loose hurtful word.

    Please filter your words before clicking on the publish button and you can choose to leave your own separate comments without replying other commentators if it's impossible to reply with ALL CLEAN words.

    Please let's try our best to be civil and to make people feel better. We don't have to CRUSH others. It is very possible to entertain and create fun without hurting anyone.

    Some words you use on this blog eh, I tried to find out the meaning from our Igbo readers and they all said they can't tell me cos the words are too vulgar. Even Bonario that uses Igbo words sometimes refused to give me the meaning of the words YOU use on other readers why? he also said he can't tell me cos these are very vulgar words. How would you feel?
    Sorry about my epistle, I didn't mean to make it this long. Still working on my summary skills.

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    2. Anonymous8/30/2013

      Chei Aunt eya, uve killed Eze nwanyi! She's just a distraction. I doubt if anybody takes her advice serious. I particularly enjoyed mama nnukwu. I stand to be corrected, but of recent her attacks aren't harsh but fun. She sounds intelligent too albeit mischievous. Now her true ID has been revealed, I hope we still enjoy her. Mama nnukwu, abeg shout halleluyah 7x

      Delete
    3. Anonymous8/30/2013

      Eze Wanyi, you are a rare find!
      Mischievously funny!
      Married at 14? Now, i understand your psychological make-up!
      I still like you though, would take anything you say with a pinch of salt.
      signed:good anonymous.

      Delete
  19. Anonymous8/30/2013

    Lol. I knew it. I knew ezenwanyi is mama nnukwu,Qoc, ukwu sugar,Qoc reloaded. I prefer none but if u insist,i think i wl chose mama nnukwu. U mk ds blog lively. I lv u n i also hate u.


    Btw,its only a fool dt wl believe dt u r a married woman. U r jst a mischievious young girl.

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  20. Anonymous8/30/2013

    Hi @poster,lemme use my life as an example, I beg you ladies do not joke with prayers when choosing a life partner its a very very vital part,and when u pray,look,God confirms His word severally not just in one occassion or instance. I met my husband and he is a young guy very ambitious with a very large vision,note I had prayed at a particular period when I knew I was ready to marry,and God heard. Now we were both doing our masters he finished before me and he was searching for jobs for a whole year no job ooo,but one thing that was glaring was God meets his needs one way or the other and I so believed in him cos of his visions and sunny attitude he was so optimistic about life and he began to affect me too but I never saw myself getting married to him without a job!! Until confirmation came in three instances that if we dnt get married at a time my husband had told me before that we might never get married to each other again!!! Eh electric shock catch me and I made up my mind that Lord am ready take the wheel while I take d back seat. Friends mocked us,families where worried but they supported our wedding and it was a small and glorious wedding. Not upto a month my husband applied for a job and like joke out of hundreds of pple 14 were picked and my husband was no 1!!! 4months after our wedding he started a very very fantastic job!!! Now he doesn't stop appreciating and compensating me like crazy for standing by him when he was nothing. God blesses marriage,cos of the woman He would surely bless the man kk,so pray well,and ask urself if u are at peace with this ur old boyfriend cos that peace thing is a personal confirmation from the Holy Spirit o. Do ur assignment and prayyyyyyy kk God would reveal to u. It is well and I pray u choose right. Sorry 4 d epistle peeps.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/30/2013

      Your husband had a vision, an ambition and a target. Now in this case does the man have? Hmmm just pray for direction cos at 37 no serious job and no bisness? Nne think of your unborn children

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    2. Anonymous8/30/2013

      Hello did u read the attributes I put abt my husband?I am indirectly telling her to check out for those things please. And who even tells u that the sunrise of the mercy of God ever deems? Who tells u age determines when God shd bless a man? Haven't u heard of where God said He makes all things beautiful in His own time?And vnt u seen instances where a day of favour wiv God changes ur life totally and you forget all ur labour? Do u know if she's that missing puzzle in that man's life for God to open his doors and her own doors of blessings? Pls poster o jare like I said earlier pray fervently that's the key to unravel dis puzzle in ur life now,all that glitters is not gold,the devil u kno is NEVA beta dan the angel u dnt kno,so dnt be deceived,seek God and remain blessed for life.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous8/31/2013

      Lucky you, I feel like I have been a curse 2my husb instead of favour after marriage. Everything has just been somehow and now it seems he's thinking the same direction as recently he said since we got married nothing but ill luck in biz and evrything. I pray God helps and revives everything so that I won't look like a bad omen

      Delete
    4. Anonymous8/31/2013

      Hmmmm pls dnt feel dat way dear,u guys chose each other kk,was there anyone kicking against ur union before u guys got married?are there family members who dnt want u guys together?is their any ex bf or gf that was bitter cos they were dumped?did u guys pray fervently as in fervently before u became man and wife?pls do a thorough research and know where to direct ur violent prayers. Desperate situations requires desperate measures. Dnt give up start the praying n fasting now to turn the situation in ur marriage around. Be strong dnt give in to the enemy,dnt regret,no room for "had I knows" cos dts d devil's ploy to tear u guys apart go violently to God in prayers kk it is well wiv u.Remember Jabez?so dts to tell u God is a merciful God even If u guys made a mistake or whateva! God bless ur home IJN.Plenty hugs.

      Delete
  21. Godchic8/30/2013

    Anon 7.30,in other words she should focus on the arm of flesh,u see why I preach Christ???? U forget that God blessed the house of pharaoh becus Joseph was not built to suffer,God created a need in egypt just for Joseph to be glorified,U don't think 24hrs is too much for God to change the financial status of the 37yr old man if she marries him?what if she marries the comfortable one and God forbid he loses all his money on a deal Gone wrong or loses his Job??? But I digress,I still say young woman get married to Christ first,let him choose for u ,God does not reserve his princesses for touts and agberos,except ure a "dog-christian".

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/30/2013

      I love, love, love the "get married to Christ first" bit. Nothing more to say jare

      Delete
  22. Hello Poster,

    When it comes to choosing a life partner,I always tell people,U need God..Question now is,how strong is your spiritual life?(no deceive yourself o).. If u know u aren't that spiritual, Mayb u can tell your mum,I believe she would know what to do or better still,try find a man of God that will pray along with you and also guide u on steps to take (E.g. Prayer Points,Fasting etc).. Who knows,if u leave d 37yrs old Guy and marry your new guy,what happens if d new guy go broke after marriage or God forbid dies 2yrs after Marriage.. And Please when u are telling your mum,don't tell her one is broke and d other is confortable,everybody wants comfort o (just to avoid been bias),just tell her u have two guys u like and u want to pray about them..What u see now is d present,u should more concerned abt the future..cheers

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  23. Anonymous8/30/2013

    mydear stick with ur boyfriend.i metmy hubby while in school.He finished before me,was yet to get a good job.In my school i was one of d most butiful girls{dntmean to sound vain bt want u to undastand wat i mean}and lotsof men from every corner were disturbing me.i blived in ds my boyfriend,always prayed,intercedefor hm.Then when he comes to my state ,we ll go together to cybercafe toapply for jobs,ill even give hm tfare to go bk to hs sis house as he would have used everything on hm to buy airtime n apply for jobs.yes @times i use to feel disappointed,depress especially when i c some of myfriends n wat their men were doin for them bt i never gave up my faith.he got a job tho he wasnt earning much bt ds guy bought a nokia n series for me then.i still continued in prayers,faith n he had abetter paying job.when i went to service,ds guy partpaid for my accomodation.After my service we got married,yea we had a roughtime bt today,ds guy has bought a car for me n we have been married for just 3yrs[.pls forgive d long epistle n typo errors,just wanted u to c where am coming from,morova hate typing long epistle]All u need to do s pray for hm,stick with hm.he s a very hardworking man frm ur post.has it occured to u dt u might just b d key to hs breakthru?

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  24. Anonymous8/30/2013

    @poster: marriage is life time commitment not child's play. Marriage is love,happiness,peace, caring,understanding,togetherness, faithfulness. if u hv money n u don't hv all dis, u can never be happy. money Is vry gud but it can not hold marriage cos it comes n gos,so pls don't make mistake bcos of money or no money.. My dear is time 4 u to do serious prayer over it.bcos d only person dat can gv u gud answer is God. as a Prophetess n a woman of God, pls I really want u to do dis prayer With all seriousness 7days midnite prayer with 6-12 fasting,after d seven days I promise u ll see d right person in d dream..BUT pls when doing d prayer don't put any of them in mind, 4 u to gt gud answer.just ask n allow God to show n choose ur husband 4... Thanks n remain blessed. ***SIS LUCY**

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    1. Anonymous8/30/2013

      if I do the same will it be revealed to me? just praying in regards to my future husband generally...

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    2. Anonymous8/30/2013

      Yes...As long as u have faith.

      Delete
  25. Anonymous8/31/2013

    Alleluia ooooo I can now read and enjoy sanity on this blog once again. Hope she never comes back with her untamed mouth. Hehehe

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    1. Anonymous8/31/2013

      Same here

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  26. Anonymous8/31/2013

    "He that finds a wife, finds a good thing, and obtains FAVOUR from the Lord"... Alot of favour comes with matrimony,(if u believe)u just finished NYSC, so? You can go ahead to marry him, just set rules for yourselves like family planning, because it might get you frustrated when there are many babies and little money......And when this your seemingly looking "weed" begins to get green again, you'd be glad you made the right choice.

    Otherwise, you'd feel guilty for a long time especially when his grass becomes green.........

    Mot importantly, pray for guidance

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  27. Anonymous8/31/2013

    *most..................sorry, typo

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  28. Anonymous9/25/2013

    Aunty eya please I need an advice. I caught my husband bathing naked with my my younger sister. And he refused to apologize I dont know whether to report them or not

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just reposted it for you. Check here: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/2013/09/i-caught-my-husband-bathing-naked-with.html

      Delete

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