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Should I Attend His Wedding?

Good morning Aunty Eya, My name is ************ and my number is *************. Pls do not include my details not even the first digits of my number.

Something has been bothering me for a while now. My ex is getting married next month and he said he doesn't want to look for me at his wedding.

Our break up wasn't bad @ all so we remained friends afterwards. We talk on the phone once in a while and he said one time and I quote 'by God's grace when you and my wife start talking.......'.

I still have

deep rooted feelings for him and he says the same too and I told myself prior to when he told me that he doesn't want to look for me in his wedding that I won't attend it. I can't stand seeing someone that I'm still in love with dancing away with some other girl, I will feel so miserable. When he said that I must attend, I told him that I can't cos I might even begin to cry. He then said that I'm not being fair cos if I'm the one getting married, he will surely come and spray me plenty money regardless of the fact that he still loves me.

That got me thinking, should I darn whatever, man up and go for the wedding or should I not go? My fellow readers, if you find yourself in my position, what will you do? Please advice your sister in the Lord. Thanks

Comments

  1. Anonymous8/15/2013

    If u guys love each other so much y the breakup?And if u can't stand it u better don't attend d wedding

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. May be they have this AS dating AS issue.

      Delete
  2. Anonymous8/15/2013

    My dear pls donnot go,am saying it bcoz I waz in dat shoe few months ago,u wil b a centre of attraction 4 every1 who knew u guyz 2geda,jus wish him well and stay bak hom and c a niz robin hood movie...xcept u re strong

    ReplyDelete
  3. If u still love each other so much, can I ask why u broke up? Just being curious.

    Personally, I wouldn't go, and I don't think it's fair of him to insist (emotional blackmail methinks).

    Tell him sincerely that u cannot make it. You might also want to consider cutting off ties with him, especially if u're in close proximity to each other. I know it's not going to be easy, but it's safer.

    Take care :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Left for me,I wouldn't go.. But I can use their pic as my dp all day to show some support but to go,Mbanu..

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous8/15/2013

    Hi

    Please go, you really need this "release" trust me . This is the major process of healing, it sounds crazy but it is true. If you go trust me, these feelings will go completely. It will help you open up your heart to someone else. Dress well and maybe you can drag along one of your male neutral friends just to give you "liver" if you are the shy type.

    Dont miss this wedding please. Dont bother buying any gift, it is not neccessary things are hard biko :-). Try to attend the church wedding alone, reception is not neccessary it is just a jambore, but dont miss that church part where the vows are taken. TRUST ME GIRL YOU WILL GET THIS "RELEASE" YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous8/15/2013

    Hi,

    I forgot to add, you dont need to be friends with his wife, it is not neccesary biko, but if it is unavoidable to say hello to her, please chat, shine your 32 teeth and comply. Your priority is extingushing your feelings and getting your release. Lets stick to it please

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous8/15/2013

    personally think you should attend my darling. Just like anonymous10:10 said its a healing process. Go with a friend, free ur mind and have ur own fun abeg. I just hope u have d heart! If nt abeg sidon for ur house, if u no like "Robin Hood" Sama ursef some "Tom and Jerry" learn from them! Hahahhahhahahha. #bighugz#

    ReplyDelete
  8. Both of u have feelings for each other? Then why did you break up? I believe you two are just being unfair to his wife. What's the phone call for? When you move to a new class, do you go back to your former class to receive lectures? The embers of old flames die slowly and just a little fuel and its all bright again! Pls run for dear life, don't let it get to a stage where you'll find yourself in a sexually compromising situation and start to blame the devil. Move on with your life and pray for your better half.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Queen Bee8/15/2013

    Must u attend?
    Are u the officiating priest?
    U really want to hurt urself,so safe journey and remember to go with enuf hankies and a friend dat can be helping u wipe ur tears#palaverudeyfind#

    ReplyDelete
  10. Just got dis hope it helps u...

    Appreciate what you have and don't worry about what is not yours, because "your own rag is more valuable to you than another person's gown" (Nigerian proverb)..

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous8/15/2013

    Stay back pls...u ll only hurt ursef.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Pls don't go to d wedding...
    What do u intend to go n do, cry?, or compare?.
    Just send a congatulatory message n end ur feelings for him, don't contact him, don't receive his calls nor reply his text messages.
    U don't ve to b friends with his wife..

    ReplyDelete
  13. Dear poster, Please don't attend the wedding.

    Your closure lies in the fact that he is getting married to someone else. You don't need to see it to believe it, the knowledge alone is sufficient.

    Think of his wife and respect her feelings.. There's no way she would be happy seeing you (not just any ex, but THE ex since her hubby still has feelings for you) at her wedding. Also, please don't get close to her, there's absolutely no reason for that. Infact, I think you should end or at least reduce communication with him drastically. Don't wait until the wife sends fire prayers your way o.

    All the very best

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you o Mrs. B. I dont understand all this people telling her to go as it will give her closure. what sort of stupid closure is that one, that he left u for another girl never close ur hart abi. Even if u guys separated for reasons beyond ur control as people are suggesting dosent the fact that he was able to get over the whole thing so quickly and fall in love again show u that he is so over and done with u in his heart.

      Nne bikonu, do not go, do not even put up any picture on ur do. You sound like a nice girl and not a bitch like moi hence ur very soft heart, so madam nice girl if u were his wife and knowing the history u both havbe had would u feel happy that ur husbnand is still communicating with the other girl. No matter ow much u think this guy loves u the truth is that he is only employing emotional blackmail on u and am sure he is even hoping u will become his side chick once the whole wedding brouhaha is over.

      So my dear just forget about him uhear and pray that God gives u that wonderful and perfect man he kept for u that made this one go away. I am sorry if i sounded harsh but that is the only way to jolt u back to reality coz the way am seeing u, u fit go dey sleep with the man sef after marriage.

      Delete
  14. Anonymous8/15/2013

    Thank you all for your advice, really appreciate.
    I will not attend the wedding cos like someone pointed out, I will be somehow centre of attraction cos I'm quite close to most of his friends. I will not allow him force me to attend that wedding cos I'll feel miserable.
    For those asking why we broke up, we are both AS which I had no idea of. All these years I thought I was AA till early last year when we went for medical check up. We were both devastated cos we were planning to get married but we broke up unwillingly so we remained good friends.
    As for being friends with his wife, I don't really have a problem with that cos we didn't have sex even when we were dating. He's a good christian who has high moral values and so am I. When I get married, I will surely introduce my hubby to him and if possible we will become family friends but that will be up to my hubby.

    Thanks once again for your advice. I truly appreciate. God bless you all.
    POSTER

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous11/09/2013

      Poster do u know dat I'm currently in ur shoes. My exes wedding is in 2wks and he insisted I attend. Mine is dat I'm married with kids and I don't mind going. But my problem is I def know I'll be center of attention cos I was really close 2 his family and friends and still in touch with some of dem. D wife has visited my place a couple of times(2 buy sturvs cos I'm in2 clothing) and I believe shez comfy wit me cos I'm married. But I really don't want her 2 be uncomfortable. Worse is d hubby is still in love with me. He keeps complaining 2 his/my friends and family dat no 1 can be like me blah, blah*yawns*. I tire

      Delete
  15. If ur mind doesn't take the drama of it, sit back... Afterall, the wedding is not gonna be officiated by the pope!

    My candid opinion is, I just feel the dude is placing you in a corner where you can still be layed whenever he wishes, cos I don't understand why he's still professing deep love to you when you both have moved on.



    Nuff'Said

    ReplyDelete
  16. Somtyms lyf cn seem unfair.But u both made d best decision. I wish u ur vry own AA man soonest.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous8/18/2013

    U need 2 go so as 2 be free

    ReplyDelete

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