How Do I Advise My Cousin And What Do I Tell The Guy In Question?

Aunty Eya, my name is xxxxxxxx and my phone no is xxxxxxxxx but plssssss do not publish any of my information.  
 Am a silent and an addicted  reader who has learnt so much from wives connection and am grateful for everything. I need advice please and not insults from readers of wives connection. pls lets all remember that no one is perfect.
 
sometime last year in November  i met a guy on Facebook, we got chatting and from there it led to a long distance relationship. we were doing good with the chats and every other means of communication, he was really a nice guy and later he started talking about marriage which he told me to wait until he comes back this year august. but before the month of august everything went wrong when i gave him my email and password and he saw my nude pictures i once sent to a guy i once dated. i felt bad told a couple of friends and a very close cousin of mine who called  to plead with him on my behalf.
  finally, aunty eya he came back to Nigeria he called me and we met a couple of times until we stopped communicating. but he decided to move to my cousin who once called him to plead on my behalf. he didn't seat me down to talk about what happened or to tell me he couldn't continue with me cause of the things he saw but went ahead to tell my cousin. why did he have to tell my cousin? for him to gain access to her or what? am talking about a girl of 24yrs
 
she didn't even tell me that they have been talking, pinging, he added her on Facebook but she  said she declined etc.  I got to know from my sister in Lagos , I confronted my cousin and she opened up to me that yes they have been talking but she thought I knew about it and that he only wanted her to work on a project for him. I was really crazy about all this not until last week Sunday my cousin told me that he called her with a private number and when she asked him why he had to call her with a private number he replied "that he didn't know who would pick the call"( cos my cousin currently stays with me) but that she told him that the communication btw them had to stop. how do i know is true??
 
Aunty eya and every other friend on this blog pls how do i handle this issue, how do i advice my cousin and what do i tell the guy in question. if my sister hadn't told me will my cousin have told me that she has been communicating with him.
 

your advices are all appreciated

Comments

  1. Life has a way of reminding 1 of the awful past... You need to let go of him!

    I'm sure you played too holy for him and if this guy you sent the pix to was a truly past thingy the date of the mail should av vindicated you.

    I really don't think you are being truthful *in Tim Accosta's voice"


    Anyway! Leave him alone, ur cuz is also in a ripe age to marry so she myt just be gunning for him.... As you don shit for church make anoda wey never shit climb altar na! Only time will tell.




    Nuff'Said!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/19/2013

      Dear poster leave d man n ur cousin alone if they want to be doin things behind u the deserve eachoda pls dnt let desperation blind u.chi

      Delete
    2. You gave a guy you haven't met before your facebook mail and password. I guess you were falling in love already and that's why you did that. Everyone has a past. If he is calling it off because of a past experience, let it go. Is he without sin too? Just let it go, since he's not ready to forgive you.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous8/20/2013

      You can't eat your cake and have it. So u want one man to marry you, while another walks around with nude pictures of you? You can't expect to sow cassava and then harvest coco-yam.

      Delete
    4. Queen Bee8/21/2013

      The fact u can send nude pictures across to another guy is wat is making him judge u as loosed and indecent.
      So let him try his luck with ur cuz,
      It's ur past against u,sorry ma'am.let d guy go

      Delete
  2. Anonymous8/19/2013

    This post planted a bbm comfused smiley look on my face..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/20/2013

      Same here

      Delete
  3. I'll advice you let go of this guy. Believe me he won't even want to marry your cousin, sounds like he wants a resident fling. A matured guy would've sat you down and trash the issue even if he wants to end it coz of the pix.
    Your cousin reminds me of a cousin of mine who adds/chats up some of my FB male friends only for them to come behind later and tell me. If possible, don't talk to her about it and just watch her.
    I know you feel bad she now knows about the pix but just count it as one of those things in life and move on.
    If you handle this properly(tho painful)now, chances are this guy'll come back later to say "I was only testing you" but please hun do tell him then that "exam periods are over".
    God be with you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/19/2013

      Tanx 4 d couscous recipe.

      Delete
    2. Anon it's Deborah Bala not me

      Delete
  4. Hmmmm I guess the title of this post should have been. How do I handle this situation or moveon.
    coz there's nothing to advice your cousin about,especially if she's already in love with this guy.
    my dear believe me to u it seems very feeble an issue that he saw your nude pix,but to him and putting into consideration the long distance between u both and also considering the circumstance u both met,its a very precarious situation.
    Coz its not a good impression and statement about yourself atall.
    If it were me,dear to be sincere with you,I doubt if there is anything u will say to convince me.
    my advice to you is that,am sure u scared your cousin is about taking your sleep away from u and the level of heartbreak is already obvious.
    so what u need is a sort of closure which I guess your cousin not marrying the guy will give you.
    If you can convince your cousin not to date him good for u,but bear it in mind the shot is nolonger your's to call.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous8/19/2013

    It will only take a guy that really loves you to forgive you.And that's the problem most gals have,you have a bf you guys ar in love you send him nude pic n then u guys break up but ur pic is still out there.well if d guy truly loves you he will let go of d pic thingy cos it was in the past.just try n forget about him if u can n pls next time no sending of nude pic to a man you are not married to.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous8/19/2013

    I tell my self and other young ladies to be careful of the things we do for love, so it doesn't come back haunt us. See now, it has spoilt things for you. How are you sure the original guy u sent the pics did not print copies and will use it to blackmail you in future.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Please move on with your life and let your cousin be. I sense you are jealous which is only natural, but if you would listen to me, don't take that guy back into your life.
    Also like ace said, there is still more to this story.
    Internet love*sighs* Maybe am outdated but I can't imagine chatting up a man online without knowing his real personality. Then I talk marriage over the phone.................. Nuff said

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous8/19/2013

    No sending of nude pics at all in future!! Even if it's your husband. 'Cos you never know where these pictures may end up. You should let the guy go. 'cos it's obvious he doesn't love you enough to let go of the past, and he's acting like he doesn't have a past. Besides, he seems to be interested in your cousin at the moment, do you really want to get involved with that kind of person? My dear, just be patient God will give you your husband in due time. Remember, 'it's always darkest just before sunrise'. Let him go!!! Even if he still communicates with your cousin, it is painful, but you deserve better.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous8/19/2013

    Don't think d guy was really dat into u,but.....I know say e hard but free dis guy, u self... (not judging but scolding u like a Sis ) next time let ur body b for looking n immagination not reviewing, I hope d guy has not copied d pix sha...and for ur cousin, tell her not to bring d guy to ur place, if she likes she shd keep d relationship but when every every bust make she know say u don tell am.
    There are also diff possiblities to dis ish o,
    D guy fit marry ur cousin,
    Him fit USe ur cousin come back won marry u,
    Him fit use n dump ur cousin..
    Hold ur head high n if ur cousin inventually marry am pray dey just relocate n close dem side.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous8/19/2013

    Goodness! Nude pix? Things ladies do these days! I think you should let go of the guy jor... Runs don spoil already.. Let ur cousin be and act like u dnt know what's happening... Look elsewhere dooo!

    Patsy

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous8/19/2013

    A lesson fr u and evryone in general, sex and all its forms and relations befr marriagE is a sin. Wen we nw indulge in it its bad enof, addin nude pics is worse. Pls desist frm such.why did u gv hm ur passWord in d 1st instance Forget dt useless boy , am sure he just wants to get bac by flirting wit ur coz.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh dear! Messy on all counts!

    - having nude pics at all
    - not deleting them b4 handing over ur password
    - giving someone u'd only being chatting with online ur password
    - the guy almost immediately shifting focus to ur own cuz! Makes me wonder if he was genuine to begin with
    - ur cuz seemingly giving him the green light (hmmm...!)

    My dear I think u shd let it go. It was probably never meant to be.

    I don't know what advice u want to give ur cousin. She's an adult and is free to make her own decisions. Don't be surprised that any such attempt from u would be seen as jealousy and spite.

    This situation might strain ur relationship but hey, that's life. U win some, u lose some.

    All the best!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I totally agree.
      P.s: I hope you've deleted those pictures

      Delete
  13. Johnson8/19/2013

    Facebook friend/lover? Nude Pictures? Email/Password to a stranger? Haba!!!
    Though you did not state your age, you definitely still have a lot to learn about life & relationship(s).
    Abeg, advice yourself & grow up. Your cousin is an adult and she's better without your advice.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Plz ur cousin is an adault and beta off witout ur advice, I think d advice should be for u here seriously! Haba na sis, how can u be so fooled wit internet love? Someone uv never met before, u don't even knw if he's a ghost or stalker having ur password???*eyes rolling* I dey vex for u o. Some couples sef no get acces to dia spouse password talk more of unkown STRANGER. If u were so fooled y didn't u even delete some private ish in ur mail before giving it out. U were never meant to be so loose until u must ve met and known him personally.. I can bet dat guy will not even marry ur cous, he's just enjoyn his niaja fling wen he's done he will go back. Just move on and grow up plz

    ReplyDelete
  15. Dear poster, when it comes to online stuffs, you have to be extra careful; trust me I've been there. Well, you kinda acted irrationally! No matter what, you don't divulge it all to someone you met online. I don't subscribe to giving the phone to my frnd to help me beg! Anything can happen! I don't really know what to say but just move on. The guy is not worth the stress, don't send nudes to anybody again, in relationship three is a crowd; learn to resolve your issues with your partner without involving a third party.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I forgot to add that you don't need to advise your cousin, she's old enough. They say experience is the best teacher but wise people will rather learn from the experience(s) of others. At 24, she's not a baby

    ReplyDelete
  17. oh chineke. What a shame! Abeg just 4get abt dat guy and luk for luv elsewhere. Dnt ever xpose ur body to any man xcept ur husbd. As 4 ur cousin. Na backyard runs dem. 4get then and wk on urself

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous8/20/2013

    The earlier you move on the better b4 the guy blackmail you. Why do I say so? He might have those nude pictures saved.
    Why on earth will you give a STRANGER you email ID and password knowing what you have there? You seem desperate to me but sincerely, its not worth the trouble. Move on!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous8/20/2013

    The earlier you move on the better b4 the guy blackmail you. Why do I say so? He might have those nude pictures saved.
    Why on earth will you give a STRANGER you email ID and password knowing what you have there? You seem desperate to me but sincerely, its not worth the trouble. Move on!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Move on jare . Hope uve learnt something frm dis..... Neva give out so much abt ur self wen u know nothing of d oda person. Bet he did give his.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous8/20/2013

    Eya don tire for gating comments,btw that adhaisy birthday post did u bring it down,I wanted to wish her HBD

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous8/20/2013

    my dear u ve not done well for ur sef, at all, now uve learnt ur lessons, and i think some of us too. u totally gave ursef to him, making u look so cheap, my dear, that's bad, secondly asking ur female cuz to assist u, haba, its just like giving a goat a tuber of yam to keep safe, the sincere advise i will give to u is forget him totally, yes its not gonna b easy, buh that's d best thing u can do to ursef, there are so many guys out there tht can take ur past and turn it into a golden past. so let it go dear. enjoy ur life, no man is worth d stress

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous8/20/2013

    @ poster,pls move on with ur life.

    ReplyDelete
  24. ur cousin and dat guy are just doing what i called backyard runs! It is a shame on ur part 2 xpose ur naked body to an online lover. Evn if it is nt. Haba. Abeg poster just 4get dat guy o. Move on wit ur life. U gave him ur pasword etc. Oh hp u no give ur body sef. Dat y guys no get respect 4 ladies.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Wow you women are inspiring wish i grew up how y'all did you have so might respect for family and rather and your strong in you're faith <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/29/2013

      Wow. What are you trying to say? Write it in ur language and we ll find someone to interpret it.

      Delete
  26. Anonymous8/21/2013

    Bia Amber,wetin u write?did u even bother reading before posting this ur otapiapia.

    ReplyDelete

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