He Doesn't Seem Ready To Commit

Good day antie eya,

Pls do hide my details,I am a silent reader of your blog and I must say you're doing a very good job(God bless you ma)

I'm a young girl in my early 20's been dating dis really nice guy for abt 5yrs now(3yrs lng distance)He's back home now tho.My problem is he doesn't seem like he's ready to commit,yes He talks about marriage but I feel like we stagnant :( .

His younger sis met this guy 2yrs back and
now He wants 2 meet her family,I feel so ashamed*crying* and my supposed boyfriend of 5yrs hasn't even made that step of even bringing his family 2 know mine.Pls I need advise frm d house and frm you*WHAT DO I DO? Any yes we both have a Job!Left to Me I want out but pls fam advice on what to do 


  1. Anonymous8/12/2013

    I feel your pain, but i must say, 5 years is a very long time and i believe he is a level headed man except he is like the cheating ones we have all around. If a man talks about marriage every now and again i take that as a plus, in your case it might be that he isn't financially bouyant to support u and him. Men think ahead on issues such as this, saving for a house, a car etc. No one especially a responsible man wants others to control his destiny. u just want to be married without weighing the real issues. I believe you should talk to him, maybe it is you who fails to listen, are there things you also do to discourage him? are u supportive?
    GO easy dearie i was was in your shoes but till i learnt to put myself in his shoes did i truly understand him, we've bn married now for 3 years expecting his baby.

  2. SexyBimpe8/12/2013

    Except his issue is finance I see no reason why he shouldn't make the move, how long as he had a job for? maybe less than a year, does he have enough savings to support a family, is he from a well to do home.....give it time, are u in the same age bracket as his sis, don't forget women mature faster than men...besides the devil u know is better than the devil u don't know

  3. I may be wrong oh, but I feel a guy that hass not introduced you to his family and friends within 6 months of dating isn't proud of you so he would rather keep you out of focus. Well, have you called him and asked him why he hasn't introduced you? Because most of us ladies assume guys should know what's on our minds; 5 years is a long period, what have you two been doing? Has he made you a better person those 5 years? When you two see, what do you talk about? Is it just romance and chit cHats? As much as guys don't like to be cowed into commitment, some of them need someone to spur them to take the lead and all that. What works for A may not work for B, some have been in your shoes and in the end, they got married but all fingers aint equal. I feel you should talk to him when he is in a good mood and try to keep calm when talking.

    1. I agree with your thoughts

    2. Anonymous8/12/2013



    3. Well said.

    4. beulah8/12/2013

      I like this

  4. AdanaOfils8/12/2013

    My brother and I are a year apart by age, i got married earlier cos it was easier for me, he had to save up a bit before he was ready. You say he is a nice man, would you rather start again? remember good men are hard to to him, some men would chicken out on the idea when u mount pressure on him. just cos it aint happening now dont mean it won't happen...@sexyBimpe think u meant to say "the devil you know is better than the angel u dont know"

  5. U shd take it easy,no Two relationships r d same nor marriages, don't compare ur process of relationship with someone else's bcos his sister's relationship is fast does not mean urs shd b fast.
    I advice u talk to him abt how u feel n from dere u shd denote if he will take d relationship to d next level, seriously talking abt marriage is different from showing readiness, I feel u shd know him more cos u guys were apart for 3yrs.
    Pls my dear don't force him into marrying u so u don't regret marrying him.

  6. Anonymous8/12/2013

    Maybe u don't do something right......just are a mystery....i am sure there is more to this story, if u think he is a nice guy then my dear what more are you looking for......patience is always respected by a good man.

  7. Anonymous8/12/2013

    ...M̶̲̥̅γ̲̣̣̥ dear U̶̲̥̅̊ don't Hλ√ƺ to sound desperate,there are tins U̶̲̥̅̊ need to put into consideration here ℓi̶̲̥̅ke̶̲̥̅ ♓☺w much .Ħ̀ε̅ earns, fφя̩̥̊ ♓☺w long has .Ħ̀ε̅ been working,accomodation,family,are U̶̲̥̅̊ a wife material,does .Ħ̀ε̅ feel at home Ŵi̶̲̅τ U̶̲̥̅̊ etc becos men think of a whole lot of tins b/4 going into marriage. G̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡D̶̲̥̅ luck.EPHY

    1. Tunde Ogunye8/12/2013

      i agree with anonymous 11:11 AM, couldn't have said it any looking to get married soon too, but hoping to get a better job which can support my getting a place and starting a family.....just cos someone had it easy don't mean it's easy for everyone....all fingers no equal oooh

  8. Joy Ogoh Briggs8/12/2013

    Take things easy, I believe as a man or woman, there are responsibilities that are unique to us. If you two could both hold on while he was out then I don't see why u should walk out nw...a close friend made the mistake of walking out of a 4 year relationship she had invested so much time and effort into just because she tot the guy was delaying, she married some guy she had only known for 8 months, now i can tell u that the other guy she left made a better husband as her eventual hubby is nothing to write home about. she regrets walking out daily and I see a failed marriage coming up soon. sincerely, has he done anything more to warrant u walking wise my dear. God's time is the best not urs...wish u both the best..

  9. Olayinka Oyejobi8/12/2013

    Don't confuse your path with your destination, just because it's stormy now, doesn't mean you aren't headed for meeting your family do u mean the first of many steps leading towards marriage or has he avoided meeting your family on a casual basis.....please talk things with him, tell him your fears, if u have something good don't ruin it just cos u feel u r bn left behind. ur time will come soon.

  10. I donrt ve anymore to add. They have said it all. Calm down dear, wher ar u walking out to? Since u said he is nice. Men think abt a lot in dia mind dat we women don't even knw abt. Communiucate ur fears to him and hear wat he's got to say. U nevr can tell, he might be building up d marriage plans already.

  11. Anonymous8/13/2013

    A guy once told me that if he dates a gal more than 2yrs he's not ready to marry her.n you have been with him 4 5yrs.well you know him more than us.ask yourself do u think he's really ready to settel down now.well just watch him 4 a while. ask him if he is thinking of getting married soon n see his reaction.I dated my ex for 4yrs n wen I asked him if he was ready to settel down anytime soon he said he needs more time n den I was 30.I had 2walk away cos he show sings that he was not ready.n thank God I met sum1 else n my wedding is in 4months time.@poster wen u see a guy that wants 2really settle down you will know.

  12. Anonymous8/13/2013

    if he is a nice guy don't discourage him by comparing ur relationship to that of his sister, if he is responsible then I suggest in time urs will come..does he have a house?, does the job pay the bills, is salary regular?...look my dear be patient and stick to him. u sound decent and focused...dont let things go south only cos of a momentary feeling..i hate to see a good rship go will work out if u want it to....all d best dear ;)

  13. Anonymous8/13/2013

    It is well don't be shy to talk abt it wit him


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