He Does Not Want A Career Woman, No Female Friends,Male Friends Or Family

Hello Eya, please do not display my name.have been a follower of your blog wives connections.before I go into details, I was in a relationship with a man who was nice, supportive and caring at the earlier stage of our relationship,during the period of our courtship I got admission into the university which he paid and sponsored me cos am from a humble background.

My parents
could not afford to pay my fees, when I entered 200level he proposed and I accepted, we did our traditional wedding, immediately  we did the traditional wedding,he began to behave weird towards me. Gave me rules that he does not want a career woman and that after school I will second-grade babies shoes. 

No female,male friends or family.And I should choose btw my family and him. I was torn apart, it seems I got married to a stranger. His abuses and threaten to end the marriage times without number.I decided to separate for a while,go back to my parents home so we could think things only for him to tell me that’s the end of my school.

 To cut the long story short we ended the marriage and that was how I ended up my school at 300l. Am confused on the step to take in life. My friends advised me to date men and sleep with men for money but I can’t how many do I have 2 sleep with to meet my daily needs .

 I can’t get a good job with unfinished results. Am a young lady who needs sincere and honest advice. Thanks a lot

85 thoughts on “He Does Not Want A Career Woman, No Female Friends,Male Friends Or Family”

  1. Biko babes get church members or extended family members to assist u complete biko while u get a small part time job, it remains only two yrs.Leave the poor man, he is broke and doesn't wanna say so.U even made a mistake, u shld 've accepted all his proposals till u complete ur education and later thank him with a long and smelly farther.Meanwhile, my role models Ezewanyi and QOC, over to u cos I know u 've got answers to every question.

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  2. What kind of wicked man is dat. Thank God u came out of that kind of bondage.
    I don't believe in sleeping wiv men for money u may be unlucky std's and all. U can engage in a craft like ankara acessories making or hair making or get a part time job in a super market.
    Dropping out of school is a big no no, thank God u had just one year left. I hope wen u go back u won't have to start from year one.
    If u r serious send me a mail so I can link up wiv free tutorials on how to make ankara acssesories
    Tokoni81@gmail.com
    Tokoni.

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  3. I had to deffer my addmission,meant to graduate dis year.it all happened last year.Am done wiv my 300l abt 2 enter my finals.

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  4. How much is your tuition fees for your final year. What school do you attend. Give us your school code or something we can use to pay it ourselves without having to reveal your self. Don't know about Nigeria but many foreign schools give you some sort of id number? I will urge any of the blog readers in that state to contribute as little as possible to help. But first tell us how much.

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  5. My dear please do not sleep around.You would hate your self.Instead, maybe you could decide to be a non live-in house cleaner or washerman/woman or cook for many homes.Or even sales girl for the numerous stores around. From there you can raise money to take care of ur self and ur education.I know it would not be easy hustling. Maybe you can decide to do it for a year or few months intensively while you defer your education.When you are done, you can then go back to school and graduate.You would be proud of ur self and could even get a business idea while doing this.

    But firstly, you have to pray to God for his grace and strength to move on with your life and not let the troubles and temptations of this world get to you so that you can focus on the job and your education.

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  6. Anon 10:17 God bless you. @ poster, now that you deferred your final year, learn a craft, something that can fetch you money and then, we can only advise you in the best way we can but I'll introduce you to one man who has the solution to all of life's problem; his name is Jesus. Talk to him and ask him for directions. Cheers

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  7. I was going to ask the same question anon 10:17..

    What school are you?
    What course?
    How much is d fees?
    What state are u?
    But in d mean time,try getting a job,no job is too low,be it supermarket attendant o,Sales Girl,Fast food sales girl,office assistant,anything cus I know u might still need to get handouts and final project wahala.. Just focus on your future and make up your mind that u will never to give up..

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  8. Anon, Your fees is N225,500k?..Na wa o,how do they expect poor man pickin to pay such? Eya,if there is any acct I can just drop my own widows might..It is well

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  9. Am proud of you for leaving that abusive marriage. If you could do that then their is nothing else that will be difficult for you. Like others have said, leave school for now. Find a trade you are interested in, anything, no matter how small. Dont be ashamed to sell garri or pure water. be consistent and with God by your side you will be successful and even go back and finish your last year in school. God bless you.

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  10. kai Lord i just went to the website and the fees are really expensive 🙁 . i dont even know what to say to you that will help you. sigh. God is your strength.

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  11. Blessed poster,it is well with you.
    Did you marry your husband a virgin?were you 100% submissive?I am not a fan of divorce but it has happened,however you need to remake yourself and ask yourself some question on why your marriage ended,only then will you be free.
    Marriage is work in progress,full of compromises and yet fun if we as women know our place.divorce is a terrible infact it is the death of a marriage,I think I have said enough bye

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  12. Mmama nnukwu ur post just gave me shivers and tears. A poor girl that got married to a monster out of frustration and hopes of alleviating her family from pains and u are her telling her abt virginity and submission?? *sad face*. Mama plz this joke is d last tin she needs now, encourage her with nice words. @ annon 10:17, may God bless u for even asking abt d fees. I graduated from state uni and we all knw d pains to graduate from there. Its really expensive. Poster may Goddirect u to ur helper in jesus name. Now that u deffered ur sch u can use d time to work no matter how small and while u are doing that God might direct u tru dat means.

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  13. @ pink,I wasn't joking.
    Walking out of a marriage isn't a joke naa
    Y didn't she finish school first afterall the man was caring and nice to her so what happened.
    How many times will she be married in this lifetime?last thing she needs now is a lie.
    Sorry I forgot to add blessed to ur name.it is well with you
    Pls marriage is a big deal its not something you jump out of when you are bored,I am not saying blessed poster was bored,that's why you need to be sure.NB;if you find my comment offenssive pls don't yab me cos I can't take it just skip it

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  14. Pls point to be taking am nt asking 4 help bt a sincere advice.note am not using dis medium to beg. Just needed oda people 2 here odas talk.kinda off been feeling depress lately. I look unto God and not man. Secondly I asked 4 separation so we could both think things tru.I did nt leave me man cos he poor, he really living comfortable, I left cos it seems I lost who I really am, no freedom of expressing, he does nt listen 2 my opinion.my freedom was lost. Do u what it is 2 hide and pick ur parents call or changing sim a lot every month. Like I said advice. Thanks.

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  15. Sorry,lots of errors in my last comment.Am not using dis medium 2 request for finacial assitance cos it nw becoming embrassing 2 me. I needed advice cos I been depress lately. I look unto God and not man.I did nt request 4 divorce bt separation so we could both think these thru.he was not poor,actually very comfortable.I lost who I really was my self esteem,freedom of expression and opinion. He threaten 2 end the union more dan 20times.I was ready 2 stay put in the marriage,just needed space only 4 him 2 call my father and request 4 dowry.am nt also requesting 4 pity cos we are humans and we make mistake. I just need words dat could make me be on my feet again and suggestion .depression is a bad thing.once again I don't regret sharing my experience. Am still learning and always will. Thanks

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  16. Blessed poster,you need to take a deep breath and calm,who says you were asking for money,a suggestion was raised on how to help and few people were for it.
    I sense impatience in you cos this outburst was unneccessary,u said you needed advice and to the best of my knowlege that is what we are giving you though you may not like it cos its the truth and I can assure you there is no comfort in truth but you need it.

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  17. Poster, please not for one second regret ever leaving that controlling idiot. You made the best decision for YOU and YOUR FAMILy. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You did what most women are incapable of, where they just sit their butt there enduring, suffering and smiling. I will not wish your situation on my worst enemy. There are good good wonderful man out there. They are very secured in themselves as a man and their self esteem is high enough to recognize that you are an individual who also have the right to enjoy life to the fullest. He will respect you as your own person and some muppet he can control around like a remote. Please wipe your tears and be grateful that your notice this early and you got out. DO NOT let anyone make your feeling guilt for your decision. it was the best thing for you and your family.

    As for as your tuition is concern, please do not sleep with men for money. it will eat away the little self esteem your have left that you are trying to build up. Do any job you can do, do not look at it that is beneath you. Humble yourself, you can be cleaner, babysitter even sell small small thing. One day, you would look back and smile cos it is going to shape the person, you will become in the future.

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  18. U this mama nnuku, u 're funny o.So she's now a baby makin factory? Am sure u don born reach 50 for ur husband and ur legs 're always wide open for him to come and enter any time he returns frm shop cos no be office! Choi!

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  19. I have been trying sooo hard to hold back but this mama nnukwu werepe is full of crap. How dare ask if its bcoz she wasn't a virgin or submissive that made the man ask her to pick bet him and her family as well as all those restrictions. Such a disgrace to existence not to talk of womanhood.
    Poster please ask the school if you can take a year out and return after one year to complete d course. Then use that 1year to try some of the trade, business and job ideas you have been given here.

    The one who brags aimlessly that her husband is a multi millionaire should please come to this posters rescue.

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  20. I hope I didn't in anyway embarass you,am sorry if I did..I just taught it will be really difficult to pay the fees cause it quite much considering the situation of things.. Please don't be embarassed.. U can just try to find something to do,no job is too low,save and u can go back after a year as people have suggested…Once again am sorry. Intention was not to embarass you..cheers

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  21. Hmmm that's almost £1000. That's a lot oh considering your situation. I don't want to jump to conclusion but dear next time cut coats according to size. School you are an indigent at would have been your best choice considering your circumstances. No dey use another person eye dey sleep.
    Anyways, create an account and password on your school payment website (change it afterwards). Send it to eya to post it with a link to this story. The few of us that can pay anything will do so. Or give us an account to pay into. Anyone that pay will comment on the post and amount paid so we can keep taps on it. A year ago or in a few months I would clear it all myself but right now I can only help a bit.

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  22. U are Ezewanyi,Qoc and Mama Nnukwu.. One person three views,even replying yourself.. Do you have mental problems??? This is not ordinary at all and u claim to have kids.. No kid should be in your care cuz I wonder the character in you that is training them.. U are not ok,please seek mental help.. That your wedding at 13yrs is really affecting your mental balance..Can't even deal..

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  23. Mama Nnukwu, I really mean no offense but sometimes, u ask really unnecessary qstns. What has been married to her husband a virgin got to do with her state of mind? It's a good thing u're living up to God's standard(if u are) but please don't judge people. Whether her husband was d first or not is not a reason 4 an abusive marriage(if it is).

    Secondly, no sane person is proud of an ugly past. She admitted that she has made a mistake. Life has to go on for her. Been a virgin or not is out of it. Who even tells u that all virgins are morally upright?

    Poster, I can relate with ur story. Some men deny their wives love bcos of their humble background. It's really not an easy thing but I know some comments here are a soothing relief.

    Omalicha…

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  24. I don't believe u just sincerely replied Mama Nnukwu a.k.a Ezewanyi a.k.a QOC…U actually took your time to explain your point to her.. She clearly has mental issues,please ignore her

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  25. @MAMA NNUKWU,
    I thought you have left this blog out of annoyance because your comments were not approved? Your comment sound like a self-righteous bigot!

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  26. 1 person is having 3 different names here? unbelievable!

    @Poster, please don't be discouraged. I wish i could be of a blessing to you, because faith without work is dead! But i am having financial challenges myself. I only look up to God to make a way for me also.

    signed:good anonymous.

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  27. I did love him, more dan u knw.we both attend same church.like I said during courtship he was the most nice and caring man I ever met.All dis happened after the traditional marriage. He said no family, friends and career woman. Y wuld I lie? To gain pity from people who hardly knw me. I guess he just hide his real self till we got married. Moreover he is the only son and last child of his mother.sorry I can't be a baby factory and just produce kids 4 him when I knw the kind of family I came from. I studied hard in school made sure I never had a carry over,no party cos I want a change, am d first in my family.Do u knw hw many times he did nt give me my allowance,if I should challenge him? Got an IT job at tower allumium bt went to sell food items with his sis at onitsha.

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  28. Thanks mama ijebu, no offense taking.bascially I knw dis cos I needed ur advice ma. Just did not want any1 2 misinterpret how I felt. Truly u all are blessed 4 ur advice.God bless you all

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  29. @Poster, I almost did not leave a comment till I saw your last response about how you never had carryovers, got an IT job and he made you go sell food etc. Please no man is your destiny and only God has control over your life. You asked for separation, he demanded his dowry back. I say good riddance to such a control freak. My email is in my G+handle. If you don't mind contacting me, I may be able to help. Cheers.

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  30. Thanks ma sistas 4 ur advice, now the issues is dis I deffer last year and worked been able 2 realise sm savings and other section has resume and I still could not meet up. Should I still deffer and use the money 2 start up a business. Like food selling cos am a good cook or learn cake making, selling of eggs or preparing asun or ankara acessiories. Mama ijebu pls I need ur advice ma.

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  31. Please stop it; she clearly didn't do it thoughtlessly. Again the man was trying to cut her off from any social support which is a mark of an abuser, so stop with your unnecessary advice.

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  32. Poster, God wants to help you through the WC family so please humble yourself and supply the info asked so you can finish your schooling ones and for all. Don't use the money for any other thing now pls.

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  33. Gating and ungating,you a confused and clueless woman Eya no offense but this time you got it wrong am not holding brief for mama,but Lizzy was wrong.however you did worst by deleting follow up comments and left lizzy's comment standing and still standing I doubt if you know the meaning of werepe and someone referred to as disgrace to existence and all fow what and don't forget we haven't heard the husband's version.

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  34. Rite nw am #speechless# sm words I read here hurts my feeling.been following dis blog 4 smtime nw,it took me time to consent me 2 write my story. Am not perfect I made my mistakes too.felt they are more matured women here who I could share with. Am nt asking 4 pity.I see no reason 2 hold back, if I could come out so say it. Like I said earlier depression was hitting me up. Am sorry if I step on toes why sharing my experiences. Thanks all the same

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  35. Are u going to say because d market is noisy u won't go shopping?? My dear, seperate the grass from d shaft..

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  36. I agree with you anon.we only heard the posters side.Eya I think you should start gating comments.Lizzy you were out of line let truth be told

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  37. Poster didn't bring her wedding problems here..she wants ideas on how to be self employed and her marriage just came up while she was trying to explain her situation.. If u know Ezewanyi well,u will know Lizzy wasn't outta line..EZe takes every post for a joke and takes on people while doing so..its cool to joke but dnt do personal attacks.. Y would she say lizzy cooks rubbish,her husband is poor dats y she gave birth in a cheap hospital bla bla bla.. And werepe means 'madness'.. We all know it only a mad person that says something and replies her self with five different views.. I still feel Ezewanyi has mental issues though..

    Ezewanyi,if truely u were married at 13 and u still feel caged in your 13yr old body like u stated in one of your post and u do all these to keep yourself happy cuz u are home all lonely and bored,am using this medium to reach out to you..Pls let the pain and hatred all out,we don't hate you,try reaching out to us and am sure many people in d house will be ready to show u love and accept you

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  38. Anon thanks.lizzy threw the first punch by calling her werepe bla bla bla and she responded the only way she knew how to.I still think Lizzy was out of line coz she threw the first salvo anyway am done just felt like putting it out.

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  39. Anon 9:56, please behave yourself.. I know u can read,am just not sure u can understand. There is nothing uncouth abt Lizy..

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  40. Oh,I just saw someone offering u free training for ankara accesories, it free boo,take it.. U never know when it might come in handy… What to sell depends on your environment,study ur environment and pick what u know will sell best.. E.g what u sell in a student environment differs from what u sell in an office area..

    Please take advantage of everybody willing to help u,things like this don't happen everyday.. If I were you,I would have sent a mail to Myne Whitman by now,forget shame or pride,do what u have to do now..cheers

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  41. Mama Nnukwu again? All u want to knw is are u a virgin. Blah blah blah blah blah! Oo o. I hate reading ur comments abeg. Haba. @poster, it is well. Just try and establish ur sef, pray, kip urself and dnt slep around n

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  42. Thanks mama ijebu, I have 2 collect permission frm aunt Eya first, don't knw d process.would appreciate it more if it was sent directly 2 the school. Bt we pay with mastercard, it in the school website. Sincerely been smiling kinda off since yesterday even at the vigil. Thanks 2 every1 both for the good and bad advice. I truly appreciate it and has made me see life from a total aspect.from south south bt based in lagos.

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  43. Then send a mail to Eya..

    Eya pls get back to the house (WC) on this matter,Just give us status report..Tnx

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  44. You don't need any permission dear. Just post the details ASAP. I just saw your mail now, trying to copy the details and paste here but it's not working. Leave all the details you gave me here pls. Thanks.

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  45. Eya just replied my mails and gave me the go ahead. Presently I have 80,000 wiv me, am based in lagos and live wiv my parents at oshodi.The new sections just resume 12th of aug.my set graduate dis year 1st of june.my matric no
    is 0937Ep004, am from delta
    state.the fees is been paid online if u check the website.www.kwasu.edu.ng acc details ikechukwu faith ijeoma.2620180877 keystone.thanks once again still pinching myself if all dis is 4 real. Would keep u all posted even up 2 convocation date. Will send both comments and pixs. #smiling# this is so unmerited favour and love.thanks again everyone. Aunt eya, mama ijebu,myne whitman and mama Nnukwu.

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  46. Just checked you on FB. You share the same name with your husband? You guys communicated last year? Like miss my hubby, miss my wife kinda thing? You said he proposed in your 200L and you guys got married, you dropped from school after your 300L which was las year abi? My question exactly is, when did you leave the man???

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  47. Am also coming from her FB,poster you also said on your page that full time mum is the best job on earth or something like that.
    Pls you need to respond .

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  48. My facebook I'd is oliver faith.am using my dad direct name and am wearing a medicated eye glass. Y should I lie?I don't have kids yet and wrote the defferment letter,it was approved by my provost in my college,b4 sent to the registry 4 final approval. We use college and not faculty. Once u check my facebook, we will find everything u need 2 knw or write 2 d school 2 confirm. As much as possible I been transparent. Had menstural pain dat was y I did nt responsed on time and attend a vigil program so I slept off. All my documentation says ikechukwu faith ijeoma even in school.

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  49. Known him in my church since 2007, got serious 2009 dats same year I gained addmission in2 school nov3,did the intro/tradition 2010 sept 25 the following year and according 2 my school calendar sections ends may/june.so I did my traditional wedding in my 200l till 2012 march 2 be factual wen it ended and by den I was in my 300l second semster. To resume my finals Aug 2012 but could not. I had 2 deffer it to dis new section which resume 12th aug dis year.my friends and course mates are on my facebook list.

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  50. FBI,MIA,CIA…Una don see now? D babe don drop her info o,I just checked her out..Pls let's do whatever we can do to help her.. Poster,contact those that told you to contact them o and always keep Eya updated.. Will drop what I have on Monday,it might be little but if I had more,I would have done more,just keep praying don't relent in prayers..God will favour u

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  51. What's the meaning of all this? If you don't want to help her please don't discourage those that want to.

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  52. Aunty Eya,in tha spirit of fairness me thinks u should leave these comments or delete everyone including Lizzy's.for the first in months your blog was making sense I was even surprised that Ezenwanyi was commenting and making sense she had friction with Amaka and Mama ijebu and they settled amicably did Lizzy not see that me I will forever respect Jay and Mama Ijebu for their sense of humour and maturity and Deborah and Rubby and some anons

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  53. God bless all the generous people on wivesconnection. The hand that watereth shall be watered.

    For tips on caring for oily, dry and all types of skin, visit leyejisola.blogspot.com
    Its a Rights, health and beauty blog

    Reply
  54. Tina,I like what u did,people should be given second chances and benefit of doubts.opinions can never be same,I did not see any insult in mama nnukwu's comment except virginity and submission and that is not an insult to me,Lizzy,u have never resorted to insults before,its very shocking and disappointing and look at d missiles directed to u, and for what?take a cue from jay,deb,mrs b,mama ijebu

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  55. @ Lizzy,pls try this for your thrush/ lace 1 tablespoon Cider Vinegar in 1/2 cup of warm water, then use this mixture to rinse your mouth four times per day.
    Goodluck!

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  56. I don't no y u people r attacking lizzy O! What mama nnuku asked was a very irrelevant question.I found it very irritating
    But refrained my self. What has virginity and faithfulness got to do in a marriage wia d man is obviously a control freak! Instead of offering advice she was bizzy judging d poor girl.
    @ mama nnuku if u r in dat kind of marriage and u r enduring it, u don't expect every one to be like u.shikenah!
    Enof said.

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  57. U are very funny anon mama nnukwu asked about virginity and submission did she abuse the poster?which wan come be Lizzy own?abi na her sister be d poster?since u are supporting evil even though we all claim to be christian let me rephrase Lizzy's abuse to u.anon 12;24 u are werepe for this your comment and u are a disgrace to existence.we should all shun evil msewwwww
    Anon

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  58. Hey dear,pls confirm when u get d alert.. Wish I could do more.. Pls contact those who told you to contact them also,I hope u are finally able to realise all and if not,just make sure u do a little business to make d rest..Stay Focused

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  59. CONGRATULATIONS LIZZY. THANK YOU FOR PUTTING THAT WOMAN IN HER PLACE. WE ALL KNOW SHE IS THE ONE COMMENTING AND REPLYING HERSELF KIKIKIKIKIKIKI. THE HEIGHT OF JOBLESSNESS.

    GOD BLESS YOU LIZZY, CONTINUE TO ENJOY IN UK WHILE SHE SUFFERS NEPA AND KIDNAPPING AND PDP WAHALA HERE. MTYCHEWWWWWW.

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  60. Chioma,that's if that's not Lizzy,so you think everybody dat makes a comment and calling you out is mama nnukwu/Eze Your brain no sharp o..chai

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  61. Madam Lizzy aka chioma,I don't need to join issues with you.how many known people came to ur defense?none!am through with u,am moving to a new post bye but u can stay here and reply urself but u let urself down.

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  62. Since you think am Lizzy, there's no point replying you. am done. I won't even waste my time insulting you when Eya will delete all comments with insults.

    Continue to remain anonymous and shame on you for deleting yoiur comments when you couldn't face the heat from blog administrator. kikiki hahahahaha

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  63. Thanks so much mama ijebu am truly grateful ma, WC family I just say mama ijebu alert she sent me 10,000 naira. God bless you ma.may u never lack a dime, the lord will bring helpers ur way.

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