Dear Fellow Women, Better To Return Back To Sender Than Kee And Maim

•Ita Bassey-Eno, dies
Girl dies after madam sets her ablaze for stealing a piece of meat
Dear Ladies,
When the person that is supposed to make life easier for you becomes a "pain" in your flesh, when you think that the little girl you brought from a village is no longer serving her purpose, please return back to sender. Sometimes relationships between maids and madams become so strained that it turns to complete hate.

A lady once told me how her maid suddenly changed, became stubborn, full of eye service and tricks that her stay in that house began to give madam headaches. At a point, she couldn't control it anymore and began to hiss each time this girl passed around her. She told me she hated her maid so much but couldn't return her because she had three kids in four years who were all still very little. At that time she just had a baby and  with the two older siblings younger than four, she didn't know how to manage her job and family without a maid. 

Even when she registered them in a school and Daycare Centre, she still needed someone to take care of some things before she gets home from work. Her girl w'd come back from school, watch TV until it's like a few minutes to madam's return then she rushes into the kitchen to clean. 

Madam never met her idle, she is always seen doing something but just not enough. The floor will still be dirty, the kitchen unkempt, baby's wears not washed, bedrooms not swept,food not brought out of the freezer to defrost, everything still the way the house was left in the morning and when asked what she has been doing between 2PM and 6PM, her reply is "been washing the dishes"  In four hours?

Because she couldn't send her away and couldn't live comfortably with her, she developed so much hate for this girl. Thank God she told me what was happening in her home. She had to tell me because I was impressed that this same girl came before the birth of their first child and lasted up to the third baby. 

After she told me all this, I pleaded with her to release the girl. To let her go to her parents cos I felt the little girl was tired and maybe looking for ways to annoy madam so that she sends her away. Fortunately, she got help that same week and took the girl back home.

Please, dear women, no matter how you need someone, if their presence does not make you happy. If you get irritated by them, please do something. Rather than treat them bad and heap coals of fire on your head, return back to sender. 

I can't wrap my head around committing murder because of a piece of meat? Would she do that to her child?

 Rather that kee and maim, if you can't take it anymore, please return another woman's child back to her owner.


  1. Anonymous8/03/2013

    Abeg where did ds happen? Na film?

  2. Na for real life ooo, even if d maid(happen to be a relative or in law's child) n u detest her so much,plssssss return her 4 God n pple around r watching u.I remembered how I insisted dat I'll testify in police station n court against a neighbor of mine dat was ill treating d lil gal living with them.To d glory of God d gal was sent back to her parent d next day.

  3. Anonymous8/03/2013

    This is wickedness! That woman is a wild animal in human skin,she should be taken to psychriatic hopital,she's insane. Does she has any children at all,I dont think so. I heard about it on d radio this morning. She should be lynched.

  4. Anonymous8/03/2013

    Dis is pure wickedness,would she has done dis to her own child?she must be insane. Lady Dee

  5. Domestic Violence perpetrated by those who clatter about the biggest defense!

    From last week to this week I've read of atleast 3 different cases of women molesting and dis-figuring their maids. I read about them cos the situation turned worse and made it to the news, what about the many ones that passed un-noticed?

    Just recently on this blog a woman complained about eye banters she noticed within her hubby and maid and all the women commented and advised in a chorus-like pattern. Send her away, even without any substantiated proof!

    Some woman wrote on SDK's blog when the noise of DV was capable of bringing down an ottoman built arabian mosque, she posited that: most women making all this noise about DV aren't far-fetched from their male counterpart if given the opportunity, are they not the same women who frustrate and even molest junior workers, house maids, sales girls, nanny's, teachers and siblings?

    Anyway, according to Tuface Idibia, "Nobody holy pass"

    It's just a vicious circle!


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    1. Anonymous8/04/2013

      Ace, u just contradicted urself. All we are saying fellow women, if u notice anything u aren't comfortable with in ur maid weather na bashing eye at oga or not! Pls send her home. We advised that woman so because this is the outcome of resentment, wen you keep bottling all her " evils" instead, pls she is someone's child, kindly let her go. Any woman who went to the labour room , knows what it is to have a child and yet maltreats another because she just happens to be less privileged has sown a seed, she will reap it. Her children will reap it. The blood of this poor 11 year old girl be upon that stupid bitch

    2. Exactly the same way a man should let a woman go if he notices any slightest thing wrong about his wife?

      Cut it, if you can't tolerate and help some1 elses child and you have ur's who myt even do worse and you tolerate and still love them, then what's this life turning to...

      Don't paint it... What is wrong is wrong, absolutely!

    3. Anonymous3/25/2014

      @Ace, the two are completely different relationships, husband and wife is a lifetime commitment which u made. A maid is a worker being paid to assist. If she doesn't behave or choses to climb ur head in ur own house, it's far better to send her home in peace rather than allow her push u to the wall and make u do what you didn't plan. I speak from experience...but u wouldn't know what women also go thru in the hands of these maids would you? Afteralll you're a man...

  6. Queen Bee8/03/2013

    Someone is asking where did it happen,I laugh!cos worse than this happen to these girls called maids!
    Poverty is their only sin'SMDH.
    Some women are damn too wicked!
    Well someone will say speak for urself queenbee):well for me,my maid doesn't even want to hear anything like 'u are leaving this house back to the village' she will beg till morning.
    And dats how it should be,not like am crowning myself an angel,afterall u all know am the most annoying person around.
    But maids aren't lesser beings pls!

    1. mrs anon3/25/2014

      Count urself lucky then. Cos if you know how mean some of them are u will know that they can really provoke. Still it's better u return them than do something bad like this. This one is wickedness. The best I can do is a slap or beating if u insult me. That I cannot take. All other offences I can talk with mouth. Beyond that u go back to ur house biko.

  7. I think this should also be a wake up call to us all. You can actually be your brother's keep. Pls watch out for the maid around you if they are been maltreated don't hesitate to report them to the relevant authorities. Or threaten Madam you will report her. So she can return the girl to her folks. And if you are a MADAM please before you act think.

    Read of another lady too that pushed a 3 year old girl cos her vomited and defecated on her self and the little girl died.

    Please! Please!! Please!!! MADAM these girls are your kids.

  8. Well said Ace.

    But do U know that sometimes, these maids find it gard to leave where they are maltreated? U see women who treat them well complain of their maids running away, stealing their momey and doing all sorts...such is life.

    My neighbour in lagos then, in a town like Festac Town, the good part o..this lady in her duplex, was raring goat, cats, chicken, sell fufu, ugu, water leaf, pure water and so on. She would give her many house girls these things to hawk on their head and sell around.

    These her house helps who were young girls did not go to school...and she is a secondary teacher..she taught for many years! At each point in time in her house, she will have like 6-7 maids. And they never ran away. she will beat them like slaves and maltreat them. What is sad is that her husband was very rich and her children were all grown up, all working, some were married. Plus the money they sent her, she wud still make these girls (teenagers) sell fufu on their head! Tifiakwa!

    Pls women, we have to remember that these are someone else's children abeg. You will give account to God on how U treated them. So, if U dnt want wahala, send them home or dnt even collect. Try house cleaners and maids who have specific working hours and pay.

    1. Anonymous8/04/2013

      Thank you Ahdaisy, life can be so unfair. I treat my maids exactly like my own kids, feed them with everything we eat as a family yet they always find excuses to leave. I see maids in other places being treated like slaves and they will never leave and even beg to stay when they are asked to leave. I don't know why.

    2. Anonymous8/04/2013

      Aunty Ahdaisy,infact u are very correct.

    3. Anonymous3/25/2014

      Ahdaisy, so true. I've often wondered why... They never leave the wicked madam's but those that are nice to them they'll want to kill u with headaches. I had quite a lot of such experiences until I decided to change my style. When I report to my husband he will blame me that it's my fault they disrespect me. I used to be soo liberal with them cos that's how I saw my mum do, they dish and eat without my supervision, I even let them smack my kids if they misbehave, no child is permitted to insult the maid etc. When we go out ppl will ask me if my maid is my hubby relation cos she will dress to match, matching shoes wristwatch earrings etc., unlike the other maids who wear Dunlop and the same Ankara rubbish gowns every Sunday. So tey one woman told me, hmm this ur maid is fine o, hmm watch ur husband o. Well I discovered the hard way that you don't give them such liberty from the beginning else they will so sit on ur head and disrespect you that u won't believe it. When one of them so insulted me and was almost bringing problems between me and my husband and I asked her to stay back and not return with us to Lagos when we went to d village, everybody(in-laws) started begging for her that pls forgive her that she's an orphan. She's an orphan but she can walk away while I am talking to her abi? Or bluntly refuse to carry the bin I sent her to carry saying rudely, 'I will carry it'... My dear now I have toughened up. Its purely a business arrangement now. You do your work I pay your salary. U comply with my rules and theres no problem. Now I don't allow anyone beat my kids for me, u can report them. Doesn't stop me from being nice to them when I feel like, but no more nonsense of before and I have my peace and sanity abeg.

  9. When it comes to maid issues we should just ask God for wisdom! Some maid can be so annoying, but as women we have dis inbuilt ability to be patient, so we just have to endure!

    My maid has been with me foor like 6yrs now, we have had serious issues, times that I beat like there's no tomorrow, but I tell her what she has done and make it very clear to her that I won't take her home no matter what happens!
    Fast forward 6yrs we kinda understand each other better, my kids even think she is their sister, have had 3 kids, we still have issues but nt like before!

    Some maid are plain wicked! If u get dat kind pls don't hesitate to send her home.

  10. Anonymous8/04/2013

    The maids in my house hv turned into madams, I always tell my mum to send them to my elda sis for a week and see the change wen they come back but she won't agree, some of this maids sha. FYI I dnt support wat that woman did o

  11. I care for mine like i would care for a little sister, yet the things she commits ehn! I thank God for my patience. I think they are influenced from school.
    What would you say about my friend who caught her 11yrs old maid fingering her 5 months old baby? The girl covered the baby's mouth so that noone would hear her cries. My friend caught her and fainted. What would you do?
    I'm not justifying that lady's actions, but i doubt if it was common meat that pushed her to set that girl ablaze. I'm still not justifying her, but believe me, some of these girls are evil!
    I agree with the poster. Instead of killing or maiming someone's child, once you see you can't cope, then please send them home!


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