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Can I Revenge Just This Once?

Hello Aunty Eya and WC, my husband has done some nasty things to me in the past and I never for once tried to revenge. He doesn't even bother to say sorry tor. If I like let me be angry and frown for a whole week, he will behave like nothing is wrong until I get over my anger and just carry on with life.

This one, now if I don't revenge, I won't be happy. Hubby and I work in the same office. We come home in the evening, he
settles on the couch for Supersports while I go into the kitchen. No matter how tired I am, I will cook all alone managing a cry baby alone because him, he only carries our baby when the baby is in a good mood. He won't lift a finger at all while I cook and serve him. Even when I don't feel very strong, he would rather eat cornflakes and go to bed than enter the kitchen.

Last night while  cooking, he came into the kitchen and informed me that my cooking was taking too long. I used one of wives connection recipes so the phone was on and I was referring to the recipe while cooking. After some minutes, he entered the kitchen again, saw me looking at the phone and concluded that the reason the food is taking long is because I am reading blogs while cooking. He just keeps warning me about spending time on blogs when actually I learnt from him he always used to ignore me while browsing, now I got myself a blackberry and learnt to occupy myself with blogs and now he complains.

The second time he entered the kitchen, before I looked up, he had grabbed my Blackberry Bold, smashed on the wall and the rest is history as I type. I couldn't sleep the whole night and we haven't spoken although he still ate the food I served. I have really been thinking of how best to revenge so that for once he feels the pain too. I need advice please. 

Should I drop his Samsung Galaxy S4 in water or drop his Ipad in water or break the TV in his master bedroom? I want to destroy the one that will pain him the most and before someone fears that he will kill me, I will drop them accidentally. I can't even think straight Aunty Eya, Pls post immediately I beg you.

Comments

  1. Anonymous8/27/2013

    WOW......This is serious. Please pray for patience and wisdom to manage the situation. Perhaps you should have told him earlier that you were using looking at the phone because you were trying out a new recipe you saw on WC. I wish you all the best dear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, this is an extreme reaction. Though im not married yet, if i were in your shoes, i really dont know what im gonna do,may be ignore him and pretend nothing really happen. It will kill him the more that way.

      Story of a Cancer Survivor

      Delete
    2. Anonymous8/29/2013

      Please revenge.....

      If am Ʊ, I will revenge o...

      Infact I will spoil his shoes, Ʊ know men loves their shoes.....

      Infact ehn, I will over salt his next meal

      BeBe

      Delete
  2. Anonymous8/27/2013

    Your husband is a stupid man.don't break his fone.pls look 4 how u will divert his money into ur pocket and buy yourself a Q10.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/27/2013

      Seconded! Loving my Q10! U shld port darln

      Delete
    2. Anonymous8/27/2013

      I second this jare!

      Delete
  3. The best revenge is to syphone his cash. Destroying his itenms won't add any value to your life. Steal his damn stupid money if you can and get yourself even a better fone. I don vex

    ReplyDelete
  4. Two wrongs can't make a right. U made a mistake by not telling him what u were using the phone for even when you realised his thoughts might be that u are on a blog. There is a way u can stil make him feel remorseful so find that way he is your husband and you know him better. Shalom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/27/2013

      True talk

      Delete
    2. Anonymous8/27/2013

      You know what? I am sick of this shit. So what do you want us to do? I see why they say men marry b*tches for a reason. No, being a b*tch doesn't mean you should be disrespectful. You are a human being just like him! Act like one. This guy is turning you into a mule. You should have immediately stopped cooking the food and closed the kitchen. I see no sense in both of you coming home tired from same office, but him unwinding while you cook and the least he can do is hold the baby but wouldn't. If he can't be patient enough or help while you cook him something new and nice then keep feeding him the same meals until weekend when you are free. Cook ONE big pot of soup and rice. Every evening warn it up and serve it. If he complains, present your case! Shikina! Yes men like submissive and obedient wives but not someone who has no boundaries in the things they allowed done to them. He will keep doing it if you continue to let him. Today na phone tomorrow might be slap. He is a bully! Stand up to him in subtly.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous8/27/2013

      Anon 6:20 u just said my mind that I cudnt put in writin for dis poster

      Delete
  5. MAMA WICKED8/27/2013

    Poster,y do I feel u are posing?ok,u use bb bold5?(Small pikin tin)ur hubby uses ipad msewww,s3 galaxy yawns,who cares?I don't,abeg I wan go commot my Q10 from light cos d iphone5 am using to type has low battery.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/27/2013

      Buhahahahahaha!lolllllz!I hope eya won't delete ur comment oooooooooo
      But na you come pose pass.lol

      Delete
    2. LOLLLZZZ

      Delete
  6. Pls don't destroy any of those things o... Relax

    U know what I will advice u to do, just take it cool, talk to him,talk to him like u are talking to a child,u know when a child misbehaves and u wanna talk some senses to him,all those kain talks wey u no go shout,u go just dey talk am straight to the point.. Don't be tempted to shout o, just do the talking calmly.. E.g. Now that u have destroyed the phone,do u feel better?(Calmly).. Destroying d phone was totally unnecesary hope u know? To think I was using the phone to help wit the meal.. (Then explain everything u were doing).. If he trys to change the tempo just tell him to calm down while u state ur point. Get to his conscience.. Please don't destroy anything o cuz if u do at the end of the day u will be the one doing the apologising not him..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hmmmm! That's sweet mama ijebu! Always on point... Pls can I get ur contact as Ijebu things level... *winks* Lol!!

      Delete
  7. Anonymous8/27/2013

    Mama Ijebu always on point!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous8/27/2013

    Mama Ijebu always on point!! Can I pls gt ur email. I'm in dire need of a solution and I always trust ur sincere judgment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/27/2013

      Send it to WC, make we learn from the comments too, don't be selfish ;)

      Delete
    2. Anonymous8/27/2013

      Eya won't publish the mail and she won't even reply you and later she will come up with an epistle on her missing colleagues whose mails and issues are her priority. Politics everywhere even on a blog!

      Delete
    3. Anon 12:13, thanks a lot for the compliments.. U should see d way I smiled after reading ur comment..lol.. I will suggest u post what u have in mind here,I mean as a comment,that way u can have many wise people in d house give their opinions,who knows,I myself might even learn from some comments.. As I dey so,me sef no wise finish o,if u notice,I don't comment on every post,there are some I just keep quiet and learn from.. I hope u understand dear, let's all just try to see how we can all learn together... Thanks again

      Please take it easy with Eya, I can just imagine how busy she is with her kids at home and all..Ejo Ema binu ma...cheers

      Delete
    4. Anon 7:33, abeg no vex. Resend the mail. You don't know if your mail went to spam or I didn't get it in my mail box. Sorry about everything.You can resend it today.

      Delete
  9. Johnson8/27/2013

    Your husband definitely loves food… and most likely he's tries to conserves energy for ‘night duty’. After you don talk to im conscience (following Mama Ijebu’s lead), starve the guy small, esp. for night. But that na if you you sef fit cope.
    Some strategies that could help:
    1. When in the kitchen, ask hubby for specific help. For e.g. visit the ladies and ask him to do part of the cooking, watch over the food on fire, or dish the food. This way, you’ll always get him to be part of the doing.
    2. Seek other creative way to send the guy on errand. Don’t form superwoman – you can’t do all yourself. Examples include loading the watching machine, changing and laying the bed spread, etc.
    3. Appreciate his contributions/help and be extra nice (in the room) every time he behaves well.

    Sis, no take work kill yoursef.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous8/27/2013

    Like seriously 2 wrongs dnt make a right.lyk mama ijebu said u wil end up been d one doing d apologising if u try anytin stupid.of wot benefit will it be 2 u if u destroy any of dose tins.talk 2 his conscience wen he's in a good mood n make him feel guilty 4 wot he did,also ask him 2 replace d phone he destroyed as u dnt ve plans 4 a new phone now.always ask God 4 wisdom 2 handle such issues.stay blessed.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dear poster, ur hubby and mine hv something in common: SULKING! That's one thing he very good at, fortunately, I knew pre-marriage. He gives monosyllabic replies that pains me until I make peace(always me making first move). Fortunately, he doesn't go physical which I can't forgive. U need lots of prayers for wisdom, patience and sweet talk. I think u chose a wrong time to try experimenting new food. Social internet can be addictive so I understand y ur hubby misunderstood ur motives esp if he was very hungry. Try such new recipe when u hv enough time on ur hands like wkend and also u cld copy out the recipe using shorter words in a handy book meant for such. Pls, never compare responsibilities wt ur spouse! It wld only make u mad. Keep trying as much as u can. Besides, if ur hubby does other domestic chores like sweeping the house, laundry etc, dts enuff consolation for u. There are men who don't even do any. I remember once my hubby came home on a wkend and I was done cooking, d yeye boy just sulked and preferred to take a drink and snack after all my pleas(was my fault, I wasn't busy that day). Pls never match anger for anger o, cld lead to another thing. Keep trying sweet talk.
    Sorry for the epistle o

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous8/27/2013

    *wasnt done cooking!
    Forgive me typos, I hate typing long notes. Lol

    ReplyDelete
  13. Mama ijebu has said it all. Babe, two captains can't be on a ship!!!! You've been building up this resentment for a long time and really, it may destroy you before you realise. You are lucky your husband hasn't lifted a finger to hit you all along and he even ate your food after smashing your phone. Assumptions destroy a lot of things oh! Anything he does to you that you don't like, tell him not because you expect an apology but cuz you want it off your mind. Men are naturally ecocentric and I can count on my fingers the number of times my elder brother has said sorry to me even when he's at fault. The hallmark of a career lady is being able to marry her work and marriage successfully! Forget about the fact he watches tv while you in the kitchen, you can always ask him to help and if he doesn't want to, move ahead and do it yourself before you push him outside with this your desire to revenge. Remember, men are like babies, they'll aways mess up and ours is to clean the mess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Johnson8/27/2013

      Really - we always mess up?

      Delete
    2. Mrs Sugar8/27/2013

      "You are lucky your husband hasn't lifted a finger to hit you all along and he even ate your food after smashing your phone"

      I can't believe a woman just said the above. Please if you are talking from experience and your man beats/is beating/has beaten you for ANY REASON dear Amaka Hundeyin, kindly RUN. Why would you make such a statement? o jebi, he shouldn't have eaten the food. He isn't lucky that she finished preparing it at all. There is something called a "boy-husband" that is a husband that is very childish. This poster's husband needs to grow up.

      Dear Poster, just ignore what he has done. Every day for the thief, one day for the owner. A day will come when he would realize you're inestimable and priceless to him. Don't revenge and copy out your recipes on a piece of paper next time. Hugs.

      Delete
    3. Amaka u are a such a child for that ridiculous statement about about she being 'lucky' her husband didn't hit her.
      Gosh u got such low self esteem,work on your value system.
      Is the wife the husband's frustration wall for him to hit her?a husband is to love the wife deeply,where in comes that stupid behaviour he's putting up?
      And u expect the husband to turn her into a punching bag?
      U are a little girl,still a teenager wit this warped mentality,get off adult blogs,nobody deserves this your silly advice and grow up!
      I bet you are being abused and u are justifying,well enjoy it alone.
      And FYI men are not babies and don't need to clean up after their mess!they are adults who can think for themselves.
      You and the douchebag who are in some sort of relationship truly deserve each other,when he says jump,u would ask how high!
      *sorry if I got personal people,this girl-child statement totally riled me up.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous8/27/2013

      Amaka it is obvious u r from an abusive home. The earliest you visited a psychologiest to correct your brain to realise it is wrong for a man to beat a woman the better for u.

      Delete
    5. Anon 7:19, am not from an abusive home, and its psychologist. Cheers

      Delete
    6. Anonymous8/27/2013

      @Johnson, trust that's a rhetorical question?

      @ the rest, free Amaka.

      http://dezzyscreation.blogspot.com

      Delete
    7. Shayor@Soup-aBowl8/27/2013

      Ghen ghen! Abena is back! She wld finish us with insults ehhh! Abena, try dey calm down na, no one is fighting u! Pls let's all learn without insults biko! #noonemissedyou#

      Delete
    8. Anonymous8/27/2013

      I got ur point amaka nd all of u dat didn't read inbetween d line nd started attacking she meant d poster is lucky dat her husband is nt abusive nd after all her efforts in d kitchen he still ate instead of ignoring her totally. You guys re sooooo quick to pick on pple

      Delete
    9. That's nice@Anonymous 21:51.

      Delete
  14. Anonymous8/27/2013

    Dear poster. Ur own fault is dat u were using a phone to prepare ur recipies. What i do is i copy them in a small note read them ahead repeatedly 30 mins b4 cooking. I dnt like ur mans attitude. He was vry wrong. But dnt revenge it is stupid 2 do so. Also wat if d phone mistakenly fell frm ur hand and broke or fell into d water nko? Pls 4give him and tal k to him wen he is in a gd mood.dnt be d one to beg no matta wat

    ReplyDelete
  15. BlogDetective!8/27/2013

    Hi everyone! I think JO & Jay r 1 n d same! :D JO correct me if i'm wrong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry love, ur jack bauer instinct failed u. I've being more anonymous, equally as a reader too. Regards

      Delete
  16. Anonymous8/27/2013

    Dnt revnge as its nt goin tu make u hapi,jst lyk odas said talk tu hm wen he‘s in a gud mood & expln tu hm as wen it cums tu fud men r smtin else;wen its tym 4 nite duty jst do ‘shakara‘ sml & sulk & c wat ll hapen bt pls dnt starv hm of both.its well.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Revenge shld b left for enemies not friends let alone boos for life. Hez ur hubby n ur 1st baby aswell. U were both wrong. Apologise to him den sweetly tell him he hurt u by smashing ur fon. Let him knw u only wanted to mak him happy by cukin new recipies. U can tell him u'l lik him to help u read out d recipies while u cuk. Jst pet him cos hez ur big baby. Den tell him hw much u'l love it for him to do some chores with u. Dialogue will solve a lot rada dan revenge. Pls do nt stay angry with ur spouse for a long tym. Its risky. Pls add up for ur makeup25C1DB17

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/27/2013

      Read up recipe while u cook kwa? Hungry Man??? Lol... This no be novel o.. Abi u wan hear story of how him mama dey cook fire without checking any recipe book..lol

      Delete
  18. Next time,add a small bag of salt to his food.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/27/2013

      Hahahahahaha.. I concur..

      Delete
    2. Anonymous8/28/2013

      Lafff wan kii mee ooooo. @Bisi...I'm in full support.

      Delete
    3. gloexcel8/28/2013

      Hihihihihihihi! LWKMD... Crazy comment bt I can understnd y he deserve plenty salt

      Delete
  19. Godchic8/27/2013

    Hmmm this is the situation pastor Abraham was talkn about during Wofbi,a situation where u implore "the wether u like it or not I love u by force rule",with an undeserving spouse.I'm sry poster,I feel ur pain,but pls forget revenge,just go to ur husband,look him in the eye and say,wether u like it or not,wether u deserve it or not,I love u by force.he might think ure insane,but just keep saying it to him..sincerely I'm rlly sry sha,but u chose this man as ur husband,so pls love the one u chose.and yes na by force,if u don't want divorce.I'm praying for U.selah.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. gloexcel8/28/2013

      Yeah yeah.... Dats my pastor u jst quoted..

      Delete
  20. mrs krixx8/27/2013

    I sincerly think u should have told him what u were using d fone to do but he also went too far by smashing d fone. Am sure both of u can work it out. Pls don't bottle up resentment. If he offends u,thrash it out immediately in a cool n calm way. If d baby is cryn and ure busy simple carry ur child n put beside him...no bi only u born am. Don't kill urself with work ohh. Do ur best n close ur eyes to d rest. Most importantly,ensure he replaces ur fone or u take one of his.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/27/2013

      You and mama Ijebu nailed it. @poster, pls just do as you have been advised! thats why I love WC. If you come in anger, you leave a better person with wisdom/understanding to handle such complexes. Do comeback and share your testimonies oo! hugs!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous8/27/2013

      I dnt have anytin 2 add, dey both nailed it.

      Delete
    3. I don't have anymore to add.@ poster plz go with this comment and mama ijebu. Initially wen I read ur post I said "what". You allowed it degenerate into this honey. If u had told him wat u were doin wit dat fone I doubt if he would had smashed it and plz next time do try out new recipe wen u have enough time. Cheerzs

      Delete
  21. Anonymous8/27/2013

    Please House where can i get Couscous in port Harcourt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most major supermarkets have it. De giant at Rumuola or any of the Everyday supermarket.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous8/27/2013

      Chanrai supermarket. Aba road.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous8/27/2013

      Thank You...

      Delete
  22. Anonymous8/27/2013

    If I were you, I will ignore him and act like nothing happened and not get any phone any time soon. Trust me it will pain him more than you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Her ignoring him will cause more pain in her heart. Plz trash it out once and for all so u can ease ur mind.

      Delete
  23. those that bashed me, thanks oh. I've never and will never support lifting up a finger against a woman and FYI, am not in any abusive relationship and never have been and I don't have self esteem issues either.I meant the poster was lucky even if her husband was angry at that point, its a good thing he rather spoilt the phone than beat her afterall it happens. the anon that said am a kid, yes am a kid and thanks for the insult too but since I've been coming here, I've not seen any age restrictions here

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous8/27/2013

    Sum men thou *bbm rolling my eyes*. Wat kind of stupid anger was dat, and what is he trying to prove sef by smashing ur fone#smh
    @poster pls do watever it takes to tell him such attitude is not allowed. Shebi na from clap u go enter dance. Mayb next tym he wil lay his hands on u. The earlier u start showin him u won't take such reaction d beta for u. My Dear pls make sure he buys d fone back. Since he can smash e shud pay for a new fone tew.

    suprised da sum people are saying she is at fault bcus she didn't tell her hubby she was usin a recipe on d blog. Like cwiously! S dat a reason for him to b violent, so for him mind now he has shown his wife he is her superior abi*bbm sarcastic smiley*

    ReplyDelete
  25. Fyn Ijebu Chic8/27/2013

    I've got the perfect revenge for you.
    Go and read Romans 12 especially verses 9-21. U'll get ur revenge tip there.
    I know, I know, I love Romans 12.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Go for it..... Go Go Go Go!
    I'm routing for you!!!!

    You can just put water inside his iPad through the hear piece hole.

    But make sure he doesn't suspect you, cos if he does, same anger that smashed ur bold 5 will get you several hot slaps.



    Nuff'Warning!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/27/2013

      'Hear piece' ke talk piece ne

      Delete
    2. Anonymous8/28/2013

      sight piece ni?

      Delete
  27. Lmaoooo at I love you by force...dat just got me on the floor

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol..Dat one sef too dey o.. I swear,the first time u say that, the man go just weak..lol

      Delete
  28. CHOI, I DON SEE SOMETHING FOR THIS BLOG. MAMA IJEBU AND PAPA IJEBU. ABEG I WAN KNOW IF NA OGA AND MADAM ABI THE NAME JUS RHYME LIKE SOUP AND SWALLOW?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mama Ijebu8/28/2013

      lol

      Delete
    2. Naa Ijebu connection joor so that it can rhyme like Raheem naaa.. But i wan connect to mama ijebu ohh.. She never jst gree my own yet and i go wait patiently for am ohh..lmao!

      Delete
  29. Anonymous8/28/2013

    I agree with Ace Bentley. Sweet Revenge has a way of making you feel good and happy. Tooth for tat but be careful so he doesn't suspect you in anyway.

    Pour hot water in the ear piece hole and then wipe outside with tissue. He needs to feel some kind of pain too, don't you think????

    ReplyDelete
  30. POSTER8/28/2013

    Dear WC, I feel so good after reading all your comments. I will go with your advice but I really want to do something to him that will make me feel good too since he never says sorry. Getting him to replace my fone will be as difficult as passing a cow head through a needle's eye.

    He won't give a damn, pls I need some support like Ace's. My husband is the type of man that deserves to feel pain too once in a while cos he has no feelings for others. He is callous and doesn't care. I tried to talk calmly like Mama Ijebu and sis suggested but he kept raising his voice and embarrasing me with visitors around in the next room. I had to let the matter be.

    He will never listen to my sweet talk cos he knows it might lead to my fone replacement whih he won't want to do at all at all.

    I will get another fone but I just need to anonymously make him feel pain so that I feel good too for once. I just want to see him feel bad too.
    Thanks for all your comments and pls only this once after all I'm going thru. After now, I promise you guys I won't revenge again ever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/28/2013

      lol.....u sha wan revenge sha... Truth is,he has to replace your phone...Its not fair if he doesnt.. U are a woman,u should be able to get him to do it..He is not always angry,is he?..He cant be that bad dat he is always angry na..I no fit dey talk too much (Oga don join d site)..lol

      Delete
    2. Anonymous8/28/2013

      LWKMD @ oga don join the site. Just remain anonymous and he won't know it's you.
      Chai WC wives ooooo. una nor go kee me.

      Delete
  31. Anonymous8/28/2013

    A lil revenge is not bag after all. Serve him tasteless meals.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/28/2013

      seconded. Add no salt to his meals and when he complains, say the taste is OK in your mouth.

      Delete
    2. gloexcel8/28/2013

      Hahahahahaha @the taste is Ok in your mouth!

      Delete
  32. Anonymous8/28/2013

    lol....i love WC sha...my hubby has joind too oooo ...if not i 4 tell u one sweet revenge wen i dey do...

    ReplyDelete
  33. Anonymous8/29/2013

    @Poster,if I may ask, why are you married to this man in d first place? Do u love him atall? Cos I can't phanthom y u'd want to purposely hurt ur husband, a man u loved enough to marry....I dunno...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/29/2013

      Haba so in other words her hubby doesn't love her too for smashing her fone?please enlighten us sir or ma!! Dis society is so selfish and judges d woman so easily and that's why marriages r nt working out cos much is too expected from d woman and little is being given to her in most cases!! @Poster o jare pele take tins easy maybe u shd send him a mail since it seems he doesn't ve d capacity for a conversation wiv u,tell him all d evil tins u wanna do to him but u wnt cos 2wrongs dnt make a right and that u still love him despite all bla bla bla.

      Delete

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