Are These Gestures Official? Should I Believe My Husband?

Good morning aunty Eya.

Am so worried that I can’t even sleep.

I got married on 26th Nov. 2011, to a man I loved so much, I have sacrificed a lot for him before we married to the extends of leaving my sweet job in Abuja just to be with my husband.

Before we got married we dated for 5 years I knew him well. I also knew he cheated on me. But he always apologized on his knees. I loved him and will always forgive.

After our wedding less than 2 years now, he brought home a gift

(pack of handkerchief) from his office saying his colleague from Benin city branch sent it to him. But being that I’ve being warned of gift ppl will offer during weddings my spirit did not accept the handkerchief gift, so I stopped him from using it and threw it away.

Now this same BENIN staff has always been a reason why we always have problems in the house over a year now.

He chats wit the girl often on non
official issues, asking her so much
On her personal life, attimes u see, “how ar u my dear” “hope u slept well”.and he has always given the girl much responsible than other staffs under him giving me excuse dt the girl performs well.

And on occasions when he forgot to delect the messages I see d girl telling him she is purging, having hangover,stomach pains, the girl also asking him intimate questions like “hope u slept well”, have u eatten,

Theses ar few I can recall now, because I ve always forgiven him and forgotten.

My husband travelled to Benin last week and came back on Tuesday, while he was there he hardly picks my call to even find out how I and his son are doing. This night I took his phone on going through. He addressed the girl as “good morning fine girl” on another he addressed her as “Baby”  he woke up suddenly and asked me to give him his phone. I did eventually. I still asked him but he told me he uses such words on her to get her do her job well.

To be sincere I do not believe him, this same girl has been the reason why we quarrel since we got married. Am tired I regret quitting my job, I wish to go spend sometimes else where and leave him for sometime. I don’t know what to do. is he still cheating on me ? Or are all these gestures official?
Pls help me out
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44 thoughts on “Are These Gestures Official? Should I Believe My Husband?”

  1. Sorry to be deviating from the main issue here, just want to invite u all my wonderful WC family to a worldwide bible study, all u need to is to like Karen Kingsbury new testament challenge page on facebook and you are on! Its a wonderful experience u don't want to miSs.

    Reply
  2. Gal he is definitely cheating on u wit tat lady, are tat blind not to see? U had better get down on ur kness n fight for wat is rightly urs else be ready for d worst to come.

    Reply
  3. Obviously your hubby is fond of this lady and there is the possibility that he MIGHT not be cheating. One question – what would you do if you know he is cheating? Destroy your home and give her the opportunity to take over?
    I think you're giving yourself unnecessary pressure and would develop high BP if you continue this way. Some suggestions:
    1. Look for a job. Get a job that would be able to accommodate your current status and add VAT to you. You look like you’re beginning to lose your confidence…
    2. Make friend with this girl – draw your 'enemy' closer. Speak to her conscience – if she has any.
    3. Delilah-proof your marriage. Do those things that will make your husband fall in love with you again and again. Don't forget 'prayer is the key' to chase every Delilah… ask God for spiritual blindness for Delilahs (even for hubby). They might be more than one!
    Gat to run for work!

    Reply
  4. You've known your husband for a while now so you already know what he's capable of doing. It's going to be hard for him to change because it seems like the promiscuous type if man. You are too soft and too forgiving and that's why he's continuing this behavior. A man like this needs a drastic change from your attitude.let him know that you are not going to tolerate him associating with his female coworker or any other woman like this. Even if you have to separate from him for sometime then do so. Keep busy and have your own life without him for a while. That's when he will start thinking about changing his ways. He's married and he shouldn't be doing this. He needs a rude awakening.
    Also continue to pray that God will change him.

    Reply
  5. A woman's instinct can never be wrong. He is def cheating wit this girl or even so fond of her dat soon they will couple together. A woman is moved wit wat she hears why men wit wat he sees. If this is put togethr my dear they will couple very soon. What do u DO??
    Get down on ur knees and PRAY.
    Bare ur mind exactly how u feel to ur hubby.
    Don't give this girl any room to take over ur hom, work wit caution here. Then finally get urself a job, get busy so u don't loose ur self confidence.

    Reply
  6. He was always cheating before you married him and in your words he apologises on his knees!!!!!!! Are you being serious….the writing was clearly on the wall and you still married a consistent cheater and now he is cheating in marriage and you cant sleep. You brought this on yourself all because you wanted to be married. Sorry i have no advise for you, you made your bed please ly in it silently.

    Tenks

    Reply
  7. Johnson,she said her husband had always cheated on her when they were still dating and he would always apologize meaning even while they were dating d relationship hasn't always been Delilah-proof..

    I won't advise u ignore him cause what if he brings home stds or even hiv..
    First, get a job.
    Have a word with him,no be fight o but just sit him down and talk to him,ask him what he needs that u don't have and probably shakara him,ask him if he prefers u leave so he can be with d benin girl fully cause as it is now,u can't cope with this system..

    Truth is,if they havnt started d affair already,they are about to start.. Infact dem don start sef and funny enouh your husband might be lying to her that he is single or u guys have issues and he wants to leave u so u can't actually blame d girl or tag her a delilah cause u don't know d story..

    Reply
  8. Lmao… This world is so crazy! He is obviously cheating and you can decide to die because of it or live for your son. First of all, tell him to give you money for business if your job search isn't yielding anything positive yet.
    You married a cheat and trust me, if that girl is from Benin, i laugh in Chinese. Those people can do and undo fa. Just get busy and keep praying for him.

    Reply
  9. Why does she have to be the one to Delilah proof her marriage? Doesn't the husband know he is married? Poster you knowingly married a cheat all in the name of being Mrs somebody you are know Mrs My husband is a cheat somebody either live with it or get out you knew what you were getting yourself into.

    Reply
  10. Better advice get the girls number send her anonymous text saying "THE MAN YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH IS HIV POSITIVE" and in capitals too lol

    Reply
  11. He is cheating on u dear, sad but face d reality head on, prayer to me Is d only way out,I don't believe in becoming friends with a potential home chrusher.
    Don't ask ur husband abt d issue again,do ur wifey roles n Fire Hot hot prayers when he is not home …it is well with u.

    Reply
  12. Hi, almost every married woman seems to have been in this situation

    My hobby seems to b d gentle type that people flock around for advise both male and female
    We dated for like three years b4 getting married and i know he so well

    Doh we never had d issue of infidelity,Gods knows till now we have been faithful teach other

    I remembered when we just got married 4yrs ago,a similar situation occurred ,
    His ex got in touch with him on his Facebook account

    she needed a job, and he used to work in a recruiting firm,so she keeps sending mails, textsday and nite for updates,initially i kept quite
    But her presence was getting too much, so i did i had to nip this in d board
    Doh my hobby mite not have the intentions,i don't know d ladies game plan,
    unfortunately she isnt lucky with relationships
    And might decided to make hobby her bus stop,coz i saw some of d mails she sent,crying about her failed relationship, na hobby b pastor?
    I wasn't snooping but God jus made he stumble across some stuffs.

    Had to confront hobby about it, gave all my investigative reports and was surprised ,mind u hobby and i are so close,we gist alot about our ex,even mine dat still disturbs me and my married men toasters so it was a shock to me dat he kept mute about i.tdoh he once told me she needed a job,but never knew they were communicating dat much,i asked him why he didn't want to make me have funny ideas ,so he even knew hers was too much but mite b enjoying d attention

    Anyways,i took d bull by d horns late one nite nd decided to call d lady in his presence to give her a piece of my mind,guess what he jumped and started begging me not to do so,

    I asked why nd he was lyk it will make him less of a man, and trust me i can rake very well,with fone english
    My ultimatum dat night was to delete all her details,unfriend her ,which i supervised by my self ,

    He was surprised at my insistence ,and i kept telling him i don't want to loose him,
    That i valued our marriage (all na toasting),was jus telling him i don't know d ladies intentions but i know he won't want to deliberately hurt me
    what am trying to say ,is in situations like this keeping quite causes more harm, u just have to pull d bull by d horns to solve such issues

    Remember u have to pray b4 doing such,dat d holy sprit should take control , so that it will have meaning to him pls don't abuse him
    Treat d situation at hand, and keep hammering that u want d marriage to work, u love him so much and can't
    Allow a silly mistake to deprive u of your ordained joy,

    Madam,we need wisdom to build our homes, we look back and joke about it and he is always teasing me about my James bond moves.it is well with u ijn

    Reply
  13. If I go by my brother Ace theory, 95% of men cheat – so abeg, ladies Delilah-proof your husbands! It's so funny that even Delilahs complain about their own husbands. What goes round comes around.
    Mama Ijebu – that Poster's husband cheats is a given. He might, however, not be cheating with the Benin babe… Maybe he just dey prepare ground.

    Reply
  14. Most times when u pray u also have to work too…Marriage is about communication,if he is doing some u don't like or want let him know.. Don't keep quite if u don't like d fact that he's getting close unnecesarilly to a single lady.. Pray to God to do his own part while u do yours..

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  15. Firstly,one has to pray then act.. no one should keep quite in such situation although it depends on your situation/marriage o.. In all we should all ask for God's Wisdom.. Well said dear, well said

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  16. Nice 1 Johnson… Poster I believe u focus most of ur attention on that strange gal while u 4get 2 spice up ur home… Ve u ever tot of pretending nt 2 b concern abt d gal while u secretly pray that God give her a man that ll divert her attention from ur man cos u can't be sure..

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  17. Hahahahaha crazy comment…this I must marry syndrome frm ladies must b discourage… We shuld look b4 we leap cos we r at the receiving end. Its well

    Reply
  18. it sounds like he's showing an interest in her, can't say he's cheating but if she feels like he is, make sure she has the facts and evidence in order. when she decide to divorce him the proven facts will hold up in court.

    now if she wants to be a real woman with some fighting power,…confront the girl herself and let her know how she feels about this situation. she get better results when she go straight to the source…

    Reply
  19. For the single ladies wen chosing a partner plssssss let "Godfearing" top ur list pls +a man wit potential.Cos once his God fearing ur mind will b @ rest.

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  20. Are you typing for a phone Creampalace because I really wanted to read your comment but the grammar and shorthand put me off:(

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  21. yes o he is cheating. and benin girls are dangerous and fearless go down on your knees and pray against that strange woman. God help u
    24 CROCODILES ESCAPE IN FLOOD…..www.thenewslately.blogspot.com
    see catching hot news around the world

    Reply
  22. You need to punish that dog of a husband. Take that cheating and lying prick's name to the shrine…you're wasting time!!! Mtcheewww.

    – Akpos O.

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  23. Yeah Karen is d best author ever…dancing cos someone on WC nos abt ds wonderful woman
    @poster….am sorry but ur husby is definetely cheating on u.

    Reply
  24. Okija shrine! Don't forget to take his picture along. By the time him begin summersault, na you go start to beg.

    Reply
  25. This is beyond being soft, woman!! Its time to be a radicalized entity since softness didn't work. Do him the thing with the pin with Baba at that Red and White candle corner at alhaji sharp-sharp T-junction.
    You're obviously wasting time cos as u delay he's busy pressing a younger woman's mammalian! Rubbish!

    – Akpos O.

    Reply
  26. Poster, 95 percent of men are cheats. U beta shine ur eyes o. I perceive dat girl is her secretary. And she is getn 2 familar wit ur
    man. Just pray and talk 2 ur husbd. And neva be friends wit her. Ur man is cheatn!

    Reply
  27. All this pray about it and not do anyfing about it. I disagree in totality! My mum did d exact same thing wen she discoverd my dad was dating his scretary! All she did was pray! 21 yrs latter wia is my dad, married to his scretary wiv 2kids and my mum is still praying. Men have d tendency to cheat be u who! If ur instincts tell u he is cheating then he is. Strip in d midnight and send arrows of fire to her tru violent prayers. Get her contact and tell her ur not comfy wiv her frienship wiv ur hubby. And let ur husband know wiout mincing words that ur not comfy wiv it. And also try and get a job.
    God bless u!

    Reply
  28. Al u nid do is comunicat nd pour out ur fears 2 ur hub,pray nd ki cam abt al dis,also spice up ur rshp
    .

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  29. HELLO EVERY ONE MY NAME IS MRS TRACY I'M FROM INDONESIA THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPEN TO ME. MY LONG LOST LOVER IS FINALLY BACK WITH THE HELP OF THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER CALLED DR OGBA. MY EX AND I HAVE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR OVER 4YEARS, WE WHERE PLANNING ON GETTING MARRIED, FEW WEEKS TO OUR WEDDING, EVERYTHING TURNED UPSIDE DOWN. MY LOVER STARTED MIS BEHAVING AND SLEEP OUT. I NOTICED HE WAS CHEATING ON ME. WHEN I CONFRONTED HIM HE SAID HE DO NOT THINK THE WEDDING WILL HOLD, THAT HE NEEDS SOME SPACE TO THINK AND FIGURE OUT WHAT HE REALLY WANT. HE LEFT AND NEVER CAME BACK. I WAITED FOR ALMOST 8MONTHS, HE DID NOT CONTACT ME. I ALMOST TOOK MY LIFE, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND NEVER WANT TO LIVE A LIFE WITHOUT HIM. I TRIED ALL I COULD TO BRING HIM BACK, BUT ALL MY EFFORTS FAILED ME. I SAW GOOD TESTIMONIES ABOUT THIS SPELL CASTER, I DECIDED TO GIVE HIM A TRY AND BEHOLD WHEN I CONTACTED HIM HE CAST A SPELL FOR ME AND MY LOVER CAME BACK TO ME WITHIN 48HOURS AFTER THE SPELL WAS CAST. NOW WE ARE MARRIED AND LIVING HAPPILY TOGETHER. MY HUMBLE THANKS GOES TO DR OGBA FOR SAVING MY RELATIONSHIP. YOU CAN QUICKLY RUN TO HIM NOW FOR HELP HIS EMAIL OGBAPAULLOVESPELLCASTER@GMAIL.COM

    Reply
  30. @ Ano 11:34, u are correct. But she shuld pray o. Nt just pray and fold her arms. Have a heart talk with hur husbd, and also seek counsel frm pastors and other matured mind. Dat girl may also b using juju sef. Prayer is d key and other thngs follow. Also poster try to confront him abeg. I cant tk dat nonsense abeg

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  31. Scam!!! Ppl..don't give ears to this spellcaster rubbish cos its fake.
    If you want real spell contact me. It is DO-IT-YOURSELF thing, no rubbish like the one above.
    Just look for bat, wall-geko & vulture's faeces. You'll also need palm kernel oil. Those are the ingredients. Contact me on how to mix them & use.

    -Akpos O.

    Reply
  32. HELLO EVERY ONE MY NAME IS MRS TRACY I'M FROM INDONESIA THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPEN TO ME. MY LONG LOST LOVER IS FINALLY BACK WITH THE HELP OF THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER CALLED DR OGBA. MY EX AND I HAVE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR OVER 4YEARS, WE WHERE PLANNING ON GETTING MARRIED, FEW WEEKS TO OUR WEDDING, EVERYTHING TURNED UPSIDE DOWN. MY LOVER STARTED MIS BEHAVING AND SLEEP OUT. I NOTICED HE WAS CHEATING ON ME. WHEN I CONFRONTED HIM HE SAID HE DO NOT THINK THE WEDDING WILL HOLD, THAT HE NEEDS SOME SPACE TO THINK AND FIGURE OUT WHAT HE REALLY WANT. HE LEFT AND NEVER CAME BACK. I WAITED FOR ALMOST 8MONTHS, HE DID NOT CONTACT ME. I ALMOST TOOK MY LIFE, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND NEVER WANT TO LIVE A LIFE WITHOUT HIM. I TRIED ALL I COULD TO BRING HIM BACK, BUT ALL MY EFFORTS FAILED ME. I SAW GOOD TESTIMONIES ABOUT THIS SPELL CASTER, I DECIDED TO GIVE HIM A TRY AND BEHOLD WHEN I CONTACTED HIM HE CAST A SPELL FOR ME AND MY LOVER CAME BACK TO ME WITHIN 48HOURS AFTER THE SPELL WAS CAST. NOW WE ARE MARRIED AND LIVING HAPPILY TOGETHER. MY HUMBLE THANKS GOES TO DR OGBA FOR SAVING MY RELATIONSHIP. YOU CAN QUICKLY RUN TO HIM NOW FOR HELP HIS EMAIL OGBAPAULLOVESPELLCASTER@GMAIL.COM

    Reply
  33. I've been dating my girl for 5 years and we have just broke up because she told me she likes someone else but she say she still loves me… the next week she left the house and said she needs to find herself??? and i wanted her to be with me by living were i live, forget about her ex's, having a good job and being in a healthy relationship which leads to marriage and kids. but she was planning to leave me since and when i knew about her plan i gave her space maybe she will come back?? but if she didn't then i had to find help, a spell caster to help me bring her back so i did contacted i was giving this usa number +15036626930 and this email address dr.marnish@yahoo.com after 3 days of casting his spell my girlfriend returned back to crying to me that she will never make a step without me again, that she will always love me till death. i am still surprised how dr.marnish did the love spell
    Tremeeka from France

    Reply
  34. First and foremost,I want some married women to understand that when their husband is cheating with a particular girl,it is not the girls business @ all @ all.how can u contact her and shout @ her or abuse her?those she know you?but you didn't shout on the one that couldn't respect you and keep his marriage vows?if only you know what these men tell these girls about their wives u will die instantly.
    When I was single,a married man was on my case.he spent 4 me.gave me money etc.he was like the biggest mumu in the country.I used to abuse him,shout and tell him not to call me again,he would still call,park and wait 4 me in front of my gate,he is the defination of what ppl call "maga" cos a man is no longer a "maga" if u have given him sex.but this one didn't see pant,and he was drooling and running up and down for me.he did international passport for me and my younger brother,if u like call this man a "bastard" he will say "baby I love you".
    One day,his wife called me and started abusing me.she said I'm a husband snatcher.she told me that if I don't leave her husband alone she will pour acid on me.LOL.I did not snatch the fool because if I want to snatch,I will go for a very good looking man.that her husband was ugly to start with.I can never marry him if they dash me.well,I don't take NONSENSE,so after she finished abusing me,I didn't say anything.one day when her husband started his disturbance again,I called her I abused her past,present and future.I told her that if her husband dosnt leave me alone,I will pour acid on her.she didn't know I could talk like that.
    She said tht I think I can use "big yansh" to decieve him,I told her I don't need to decieve ur husband!he is ugly and foolish and I can't marry him.I dunno how u even kiss him.I told her that if he keeps throwing money @ me,I will keep collecting.but that he will never see my panties cos I duno how she manages to open her leg for such a man every night.
    My dear poster don't go and call a girl and abuse her when u dunno what's supping.u better liase with ur man.cos men can be foolish.I tell u.70% of girls that sleep with married men don't want to marry the men or snatch them or be their wife!they don't like these men.its only money,money,money.and married men are refferred to as "maga's".were u not a young girl before?don't you know how it works???.have u heard of a girl falling in "LOVE" with a poor married man?I laugh in spanish.a very close friend of mine that is doing her masters in the UK its a married man that is paying.and he has refused his own wife 4rm doing masters.open ur eyes.after prayer what next??the girl will now catch fire and burn?have we women ever thought of praying for our husbands who are weak in flesh? Cos just the way they see girls everyday is the same way we too see guys everyday.if you start praying against every girl,when would u stop?there are sooooooooooooo many beautiful,hot,caring,God fearing,homely,girls out there apart 4rm u.if u go out everyday u will see diff shapes and sizes.
    Sometimes when I'm driving,I loose focus.based on dressing,beauty,etc.and I'm a woman,I'm nt a lesbian,so u can imagine.pray for ur husbands plssss.these girls are everywhere,and don't need ur man,they don't need his dick.they don't need his home,they need his money.ur husband on the other hand needs their V-jay jay badly!
    I presume this my comment would win the award of the longest comment on WC,that is if ahdaisy hasn't already broken it.but I read everyday nd have never spoken,today I must talk.so pls poster,work on ur husband nd leave the girl out of it.dnt belittle nd degrade urself by saying she should leave ur home alone "how very hilarious" don't also try to be friends with her."Which kain package be that na?" If u are a wise girl u'll know whts up.
    I'm outta here!

    Reply
  35. know what these men tell these girls about their wives u will die instantly.
    When I was single,a married man was on my case.he spent 4 me.gave me money etc.he was like the biggest mumu in the country.I used to abuse him,shout and tell him not to call me again,he would still call,park and wait 4 me in front of my gate,he is the defination of what ppl call "maga" cos a man is no longer a "maga" if u have given him sex.but this one didn't see pant,and he was drooling and running up and down for me.he did international passport for me and my younger brother,if u like call this man a "bastard" he will say "baby I love you".
    One day,his wife called me and started abusing me.she said I'm a husband snatcher.she told me that if I don't leave her husband alone she will pour acid on me.LOL.I did not snatch the fool because if I want to snatch,I will go for a very good looking man.that her husband was ugly to start with.I can never marry him if they dash me.well,I don't take NONSENSE,so after she finished abusing me,I didn't say anything.one day when her husband started his disturbance again,I called her I abused her past,present and future.I told her that if her husband dosnt leave me alone,I will pour acid on her.she didn't know I could talk like that.
    She said tht I think I can use "big yansh" to decieve him,I told her I don't need to decieve ur husband!he is ugly and foolish and I can't marry him.I dunno how u even kiss him.I told her that if he keeps throwing money @ me,I will keep collecting.but that he will never see my panties cos I duno how she manages to open her leg for such a man every night.
    My dear poster don't go and call a girl and abuse her when u dunno what's supping.u better liase with ur man.cos men can be foolish.I tell u.70% of girls that sleep with married men don't want to marry the men or snatch them or be their wife!they don't like these men.its only money,money,money.and married men are refferred to as "maga's".were u not a young girl before?don't you know how it works???.have u heard of a girl falling in "LOVE" with a poor married man?I laugh in spanish.a very close friend of mine that is doing her masters in the UK its a married man that is paying.and he has refused his own wife 4rm doing masters.open ur eyes.after prayer what next??the girl will now catch fire and burn?have we women ever thought of praying for our husbands who are weak in flesh? Cos just the way they see girls everyday is the same way we too see guys everyday.if you start praying against every girl,when would u stop?there are sooooooooooooo many beautiful,hot,caring,God fearing,homely,girls out there apart 4rm u.if u go out everyday u will see diff shapes and sizes.
    Sometimes when I'm driving,I loose focus.based on dressing,beauty,etc.and I'm a woman,I'm nt a lesbian,so u can imagine.pray for ur husbands plssss.these girls are everywhere,and don't need ur man,they don't need his dick.they don't need his home,they need his money.ur husband on the other hand needs their V-jay jay badly!
    I presume this my comment would win the award of the longest comment on WC,that is if ahdaisy hasn't already broken it.but I read everyday nd have never spoken,today I must talk.so pls poster,work on ur husband nd leave the girl out of it.dnt belittle nd degrade urself by saying she should leave ur home alone "how very hilarious" don't also try to be friends with her."Which kain package be that na?" If u are a wise girl u'll know whts up.
    I'm outta here!

    Reply

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