It's My House Girl And My Husband

Good evening Aunty Eya, pls hide my I d. I've been reading on Wives Connection and commenting , I really need your help. Am  28,i hv been married 4 8years  now. my problem now is my house girl and my husband. 

I hv dis house girl dat is vry good at her house work, thou she can't  take good care of children, but I take she can't be good in all,she can cook, wash clothes  and dashes well @ d right time. but my problem now is dat I just gv birth and is cs it made me stay in d hospital 4long and when I came back home vry tin Changed.

 I notice dat d girl always looks
at my husband whenever she  is passing where my husband is,she always changes her voice when ever she sees my husband and always looks into his  eyes when he wants to send her a message. n my husband always looks @ her too.I don't know wat to do.

I trusted her cos it was my husband sister dat brought her to me, but now am confused. pls help me I don't know what to do.

 Should I take her home n stay without girl or should I keep her in my house cos she is helping me so much? Pls I really need advice..

Comments

  1. Madam abeg if you are uncomfortable send her home o b4 we now hear stories that touch..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ****Mufasa Said7/31/2013

      SOMETIMES I DONT JUST UNDERSTAND HUMAN BEINGS!
      1. for goodness sake, is she ur kidney that you cannot do without?
      2. dont u have a mouth to ask her what is going on?
      3. you cant you talk to your husband about this instead of nursing heartache ontop your new baby. Madam, pls somethings do not require mathematical formula to go about them.


      ****Mufasa Said

      Delete
  2. Abeg send her home jor! Ah ah! Is it not better that you cope with housework than share your husband with your housegirl? Haba! Madam, you no be learner o.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BEKEES7/31/2013

      Seconded!.Madam poster pls send her packing sharp-sharp.Am a mum with Kids but I prefer doing my house chores myself to avoid wahala.Most house help are either possessed,wicked to ur kids or they are husband snatchers.Bottom line their talent too plenty.Me no likey

      Delete
  3. Really nothing to fret about...
    Though you may have ur suspicion but don't spill it until they are caught or you are absolutely convinced.

    All these you stated is not enuff reason to shout wolf!

    Keep calm, God is in Control... Always



    Nuff...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous7/31/2013

      Ace, she should wait till her house girl becomes pregnant ba! Send her away mama and face ur chores to save ur marriage.

      Delete
    2. My dear don't listen to Oga Ace ooooo. Abeg send her away now. Before you send her away, take her to do pregnancy test. Don't let her know that is what she is going for.

      Somehow, you will cope. A dirty house is better than a broken home!!!!!!!!

      Delete
  4. Anonymous7/30/2013

    I've a friend that has two sons, she's jobless and she has a househelp, I will never understand why?
    I have another friend that has 3 children, she works and she does not ve any heelp, she lives here in the UK tho, so the cost of hiring a nanny may ve caused her to be wise too.
    Pls if u re a housewife you don't need any help at all, but I've noticed that its also kind of a status thing with the married women tho, so whatever floats your boat.
    I think the decision here is whether you can live without a help, if ur answer is no then by all means let her stay on and continue screwing your husband after all even if she leaves your house there's no guarantee that another woman won't screw him and if its left for me, I'd rather have the "help" screw my husband at least she's useful around the house than one foolish bleached up lagos bitch.
    I also hear bleaching is the "in thing" these days too
    Bless you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous7/30/2013

      Are you married?

      Delete
    2. Do you have any kids?

      Delete
    3. O gee o8/03/2013

      Its obvious that u do not have kids. Do u know d work that goes into taking care of 2 kids? Running after them, looking out for them and having to do laundry, go to mkt, cook, wash up, clean d house. God save u if ur hubby is d type that does nt pick a pin.
      My sister, I tried it o. My Mom came for a visit and saw d way things were and got me a househelp sharp sharp.
      Women,jobless or not, pls if u cannot cope, get urself a help. Don't go and get high bp cos u are doing superwoman!

      Delete
  5. Anonymous7/30/2013

    Send her home Madam before the looking graduate go touchery!
    Dem say na from Clap e dey take enter Dance!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous7/30/2013

    Send her home, sharp!! sharp!! Don't tell husband you want to send her packing, just in case he isn't having an affair. Pls don't waste time my dear. I know a family that this happened to. The girl is now the Mrs of the house. Just manage until you get another help biko!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous7/30/2013

    Pls don't wait to catch them send her home.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous7/30/2013

    Pls send her home don't wait to catch them. The moment ur intuition tunes u to that direction then u re correct. Send her home before she gets pregnant for ur huby beg.

    ReplyDelete
  9. so you are seriously asking this question?abeg send the girl packing jare.take care of your family yourself(its not easy,but its worth it).do not trust any housemaid in this life coz they cant be trusted.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous7/30/2013

    A woman's intuition is usually often than not true, your emotions might be all over the place as a result of the birth and you might be wrong, but then you might also be right..if you have to always look over your shoulder in your own home, then you must nip it in the bud..mee

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous7/30/2013

    I disagree with your 1st sentence. Its only a man that will talk like that

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous7/30/2013

    Abeg send her home before we hear stories that touch in your next post.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous7/30/2013

    Househelps Can never I repeat never be trusted- many experiences have shown this. She's bn with u 4 a long while so u shd know her well. If u feel sth is fishy ure probably right. Be wise and choose the right. Don't let consideration 4 housework n others-kids, hubby mk u scatter ur family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True talk my dear, dey can neva be trusted, dey too want wants to know wats inside d radio dat madam has been enjoyin music from. Send her away sharp sharp and if ur hubby ask wen he comes back, tell him dat u were correcting her on sometin she ddnt do well and she shouted and slapped u. Dis is wen u will knw if he is innocent or not tru his reaction.

      Delete
  14. Anonymous7/30/2013

    My step mom used to be our maid. She ended up making my dad chase my mum out of d hse dey built together.
    Till now my mum is single, my dad didn't pay my fees frm pri schl till uni and we r 4 kids. Its only God that made me invite him for my wedding cos he's dead to me.Even tho now he wants to make up we r not interested, we really suffered then.
    Ur instincts cannot lie to u.
    U say she washes well, so does a washing machine. U can get another maid or a nanny even sme don't sleep over. Am a working woman, my nanny is 48, she cleans and cooks wen I can't and she comes evryday xcept sunday.
    Pls act fast and trust urself b4 we hear that she is pregnant, that one is not ur portion.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous7/30/2013

    Madam, send her out ASAP... Pls for now think of ur Marriage not d house work...

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous7/30/2013

    These men can't be trusted at all. Just be watching them for now since u are not yet sure. Has her attitude towards u changed? Or ur hubby's attitude towards her? At times friends and well wisher might just insinuate things that might make one paranoid. Just be on the look out if something is happening u must surely know now your red flag is on. Only then can u act

    ReplyDelete
  17. hmmm ...pls send her away oooo...eventhough the basis in which u suspect them is not strong,..i,ll advice u send her out as soon as possible...like sumone said,u can get another help that would,nt sleep over...madam prevention is better than cure..for the fact you suspect them at all is a bad sign already..you just put to bed so i,m sure u,ll need all the peace u can get and don,t have to sleep with one eye opened..enough said!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous7/30/2013

    Send her packing asap asap.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous7/30/2013

    install a nanny cam if you insist on keeping her otherwise send her packing

    ReplyDelete
  20. Queen Bee7/31/2013

    Pls get another maid and let her go,u can as well manage before u get another thank God u are not a new mum.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous7/31/2013

    Your instincts are not wrong. Send her away. I am speaking from personal experience; since I am a product of a relationship between a master and house help. What is even sadder is that more than two decades after my father married my mother, he slept with the maid that my mother brought home. I wish you the best.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous7/31/2013

    send her home without ur husband's knowledge. After all, ure the one who needs her not him. we had house girl and daddy issues when we were younger. It was bad. My mum almost left. Thank God she discovered on time. Send her home now!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. But your husband tho...If he can do ur househelp....hm....that means girls on the street are finshed...jes saying...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. miss j7/31/2013

      Really?
      I like u bt dis ur "Jes saying" is uncalled for.she doesn't even know for a fact jst suspicions.
      @ poster pls if u no more comfortable wit ur househelp,send her away...

      Delete
    2. Must you always comment? Is there any sense in what you have just said? If you don't have any reasonable thing to say , just read other people's comment and move on. Just saying.

      Delete
    3. Hey...pippo...before you jump at ur favorite girl's comment, calm down and think. But lemme break it down for you.

      I did not say, since your husband is doing.. I said, IF he CAN...they are two different things. So MissJ, we r not saying different things.

      Also, my point is, we are all talking about the housegirl...what of the husband? Most times men that do such, sleep around on a regular and that's y they can disrespect their wives enough to have smtin with her own house girl. So, the poster has to be extra careful. The house girl ish if true, is just the surface... So anon, yes, there is plenty of sense in what I said and I must comment.

      Delete
    4. @ Miss J and Akpos. Really good thing you noticed that this comment is 'uncalled for' and 'nonsense'. Didn't you notice other comments above that fit these categories?

      Delete
    5. Anonymous7/31/2013

      @ Ahdaisy, wake up and smell d coffee! Evn ur own hubby can do ur househelp. Abi u be learner?? Mtchewww!

      Delete
  24. Omg, reading the comments here my eyes almost popped out of their sockets!
    Poster, please take their advice and send her packing but be tactful about it cause your husband is sure to ask why.
    I pray God gives you the wisdom to handle this.
    Also, to help with the baby and some house chores, I know some maids can come everyday or some days a week depending on your agreement. I think you should work on getting someone like that.
    All the very best!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Omg, reading the comments here my eyes almost popped out of their sockets!
    Poster, please take their advice and send her packing but be tactful about it cause your husband is sure to ask why.
    I pray God gives you the wisdom to handle this.
    Also, to help with the baby and some house chores, I know some maids can come everyday or some days a week depending on your agreement. I think you should work on getting someone like that.
    All the very best!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Omg, reading the comments here my eyes almost popped out of their sockets!
    Poster, please take their advice and send her packing but be tactful about it cause your husband is sure to ask why.
    I pray God gives you the wisdom to handle this.
    Also, to help with the baby and some house chores, I know some maids can come everyday or some days a week depending on your agreement. I think you should work on getting someone like that.
    All the very best!

    ReplyDelete
  27. 1. Don't inform your husband when you send her home.
    2. Send her away in his absence without even hinting him.
    *Get help ASAP cos if not, sending her away might create other problems due to the stress of chores, managing a new baby and sibling plus post partum stress. Get someone first before sending her away, for your own sanity. You can get a washing machine if getting someone isn't easy.
    3. Think of something credible and convincing to tell your husband in case her leaving "secretly breaks his heart' so he doesn't try to get back at you in a funny way o.

    4. Collect her sim card and give her a new one before she leaves, that is if she has a phone. If you can, change the phone and sim card while taking her home. A woman's instincts? they hardly fail o.

    5. *Be wise as a serpent and harmless like a gentle white dove.
    Check her items for diaries or records of phone numbers, anyway this can't really help cos you can't delete memorised numbers in case. Act fast cos the days are evil.

    ***However, I am also thinking that your suspicions and the way you feel about them could be as a result of post-partum-depression, so, be very careful with whatever decision you make.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous7/31/2013

      Aunty u are wise woman...I love d part u said, change her phone and sim card, and check her bags 4 diaries....

      Delete
  28. This one is delicate because it's difficult to bring it up with hubby without wahala. And there's always the slight probability that it is a false alarm. And you don't want to gamble on that tiny chance.

    I watch CSI shows and read crime novels so I would play on the girl's psyche by looking into her eyes and asking her: "Is there anything you want to tell me?" in the most gentle voice and when she least expects that kind of question. Then watch her expression.

    If she asks what you are asking about or goes blank, tell her: "Since I came back you've been acting as if there's something you want to tell me, I'll wait till you're ready to say it." Don't discuss it any further and go on relating with her as usual. If anything went on between her and oga, she will tell him you asked her the question as soon as she gets the chance.

    Then watch how they behave towards each other after that. Their body language and actions towards each other thenceforth will help you make the final decision on this issue. From your post, I think you are a deep observer so you will recognise it when you see it.

    Remember: if you are so worried about this, she should go, proof or no proof. This kind of worry is the last thing you need at this time. Every husband will like to know why you suddenly sent your girl away especially at a time you need her most, you can tell hubby that your instinct told you to send her away.

    I sincerely hope that this is a false alarm. Goodluck!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous7/31/2013

    when my mum sent her maid away, my dad was vising i and my family. on his return to lagos, he wwas furious to learn about this development. my mum had complained that the maid was developing mega attitude and behaving like second madam in her home. my father put a call to the maid and her father to come back and defend herself(note he'll rather hear d story of a maid than listen to his wife). Apparently the girl explained and even apologised to my mum and pleading to return but she said no. to my mother amazement, my dad raised his hand to hit her because of the maid. My dad moved his things out of the room to the guest room and it took the effort of our last born to settle the entire thing. Need i say i and my older siblings are all married my mum is close to 60 and this girl was 18 or so. cant even go into details because its annoying to remember. But let me just say because of that, i do not have a maid. i work and have kids, but leave house chores to weekends. cant trust anybody

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous7/31/2013

    Hahahahah... Old man! Na wao oh! Madam poster, send ur househelp packing... Biko! Take her fone and her sim card. Search her bag b4 u send her packing. Let her finish packing b4 u search her bag... Do it the time ur hubby is far from home.. Dnt give her any sign that u want to send her packing... Meanwhile, u dnt need a replacement b4 u send her packing.. Act fast

    Patsy

    ReplyDelete
  31. Anonymous7/31/2013

    And make sure there is someone else in the house with you for your own safety either your sister, brother or a close friend when you send her packing remember you are still weak from the CS just incase your suspicions are true and she becomes stubborn and refuses to leave because she now thinks she is a second madam.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Am irritated sef.abeg send her packing sharply.your husband needs hot slap sef if truly he's having stuffs with your house help.I give u 24hrs to displace that girl

    ReplyDelete
  33. Anonymous7/31/2013

    I strongly agree wt u @ Flu 10:03am, tink I give in to ur techniques. It can help xpose d deal n would make them quite unstable. @ poster, dnt rush, handle it wt a mature mindset. Gudluck.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Anonymous7/31/2013

    Hmmm! Bt wat if ds house help is innocent, naïve, n sent back home 2 suffer wen she once live in a comfortable place? Do u. Guys do u tink God wud be please? Hmmm! House help job no gud at all. Oh! Poor u.

    ReplyDelete
  35. complain to ur husband that she is giving a nasty attitude or something, just a rash excuse and then that u don't feel comfortable with her anymore. pay her off (incase its not true) and send her packing..

    ReplyDelete
  36. Anonymous8/01/2013

    Why are men always like this? My own three months old husband has already given me a shocker. Am so sad reading this and all

    ReplyDelete
  37. Hmmmmm ooo
    Madam pls don't send home yet,t

    ReplyDelete
  38. Madam dont sent her home just yet, relax and watch her closely for a while. Rem, its nt easy to get a new help dat will be as hardworking as u described her.
    Ur hubby thou...

    All d best!b

    ReplyDelete
  39. Anonymous8/07/2013

    Sorry to say but girl maids r too much
    temptation for some men so best get boys only keep them from your girl kids,these r end times the world is now quite dangerous

    ReplyDelete

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