I Did Not Know They Are Brothers

Hello Aunty Eya, good morning  and how are you and your family? My name is.....I am an ardent reader of wives connection and I need advice from the blog. 

Last night, I went through my boyfriend's photo album and saw someone I recognized, when I asked, he told me that's his younger brother who is now based in the US.

That guy I recognized is a man I had a fling with while at college. This was years ago and I had totally forgotten him cos nothing serious came out of the relationship. My bf is my love and everything. I can't do without him and am really confused. I had to wait until I get to the office before typing this. My
life is shattered and truly I couldn't sleep the whole night.

This guy wants us to take the relationship to the next level but right now I feel like leaving him before he finds out his brother slept with me. Can any woman confesses to a man she wants to marry that she once slept with his brother? I don't think so. My heart is racing fast with different thoughts. I don't want to be in that kind of awkward situation where I will have to start begging for forgiveness or face being dumped. 

Please post me as anonymous and also help me too with advice. I don't know what to do, am just going to wait for advice from other readers.
Thank you.
...................

Comments

  1. You have messed up big time. If I were you, I won't tell him anything. I hate to take risk in life.Do you think the American based man will still remember you sef? Relax.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous7/08/2013

      Y won't he rememba her?
      Som1 d@ wants 2 mari ur own bro,
      Nd d@ u would see e'ry chance dere's a family gathering.
      Dear poster,
      I don't envy u @ all.
      Dis is y I support 100% transparency in a relaxnship esp wen u feel d guy likes u very much.
      My best friend tells e'ry guy she's eva met nd didn't mind dating d whole truth bout her life.
      D ones d@ wanted her, didn't go away.
      If tins didn't work out, twasnt becos of d tins she spilled.
      Its a tuff situaxn bt my only advice would be u tell him.
      Nt tell him,
      'Hey, I slept wit ur bro back in d day.'
      U can start by being open bout tins u did in d past nd chipping in d guys u had flings wit.
      Tell him u're doing dis esp cos he said he wants 2 take tins 2 d next level nd u want 2 go dere witout keepin any secrets bout ur past.
      Don't menxn his bro being one of dem pls.
      If he asks bout d names, u can give a vague descripxn bout dem.
      I knw I said 100% but in dis case my dear, u'll av 2 hide dis one nd let him find out by himself which he will.
      If he wants u d@ bad, he would understand its ur past nd mayb u were young nd foolish.
      He will also want 2 protect u 4m oda family members knwing.
      D@'s d best advice I can tink of.
      On d oda hand,
      U can choose 2 break up wit him.
      If he shld ask u y, tell him d bitter truth once nd for all.
      If he wants u bak, good 4 u.
      If nt, my dear, he woulda found out anyways.
      Jst see it as d price u pay for being young nd stupid.
      Take care.
      ANONYMOUS

      Delete
  2. Anonymous7/08/2013

    Chai ...... Speechless oh..

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous7/08/2013

    D̶̲̥̅̊Į̸̸̨Ƨ̷ one na serious yawa Oo°˚˚˚°! But all the same βε̲̣ calm Ąπϑ Ơ̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡ ♓☺w Ȋ̝̊†̥ goes.ℓi̶̲̥̅ke̶̲̥̅ Jayne said the brother might not even remember U̶̲̥̅̊ since Ȋ̝̊†̥ was just a fling afterall U̶̲̥̅̊ didn't know D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ were brothers Ąπϑ Ȋ̝̊†̥ was all I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ the past.EPHY

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous7/08/2013

      Pls what is the meaning of EPHY

      Delete
  4. Mrs Ay7/08/2013

    Dres no way d brother won't recognize u o.d best u can do is break up with him n free ur mind cos d memory of his brother sleeping with u will always be dre.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Obi onyinyechukwu7/08/2013

    I think u shld tell him, there's no point beating abt d bush with him. Arrange a meeting n tell him. If he wants u he will stay, if not, u move on with ur life. I feel it will be a terrible risk waiting to see if his bro remembers or not n it will shatter him if he hears it from any other source oda than u. Tell him n leave with wats left of ur dignity or allow him find out otherwise n hate u for e rest of his life.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is one awkward situation.....my dear sister you should tell him,let him know it was a fling.i bet he won't react well,but since you'r marrying into the family,it is wise to do so....make 'yawa no go gas' in future.

    #my2penny#

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous7/08/2013

    Tell him, explain everything to him why becos u did not cheat on him and it was before u guys met! Its better he hears it from u than finds out from elsewhere.

    He will respect u for than or he will be a dump ass and walks away.

    True love endures all.

    Pretty

    ReplyDelete
  8. Elisoft7/08/2013

    Since you say he loves you and wants to take d relationship to d next level, then walk out and come see him asking to know what went wrong and begging with his life to have you back, then you can ask him if he truely loves you and not use ur past against you. Of course he will say yes jst to have you back. Then tell about the fling.
    He will definitey feel bad about it. Continuing with d relationship will then b up to him. But dont beat urself about it too much. D deed has been done.
    This is just so are walking out of d relationship with ur head held up high rather than been dumped when he finds out because his brother will definitely tell him when d opportunity comes up.

    ReplyDelete
  9. If you tell him... He'll be privy of the fact
    If you don't... He'll still find out

    You are left with 2 choices.
    (1) Run away from him for life without a reason...
    (2) Tell him and face whatever consequence...

    Which ever you choose, best of luck!


    Nuff'

    ReplyDelete
  10. Pls tell him and if you are still not ok with it, break up wih him. Dnt waste so much time on it only to break up with him later...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. these days, ur advices are short,simple and meaningful. i like!. Btw, poster, tell him. if he decides, to leave, fine. But u'd have your peace.

      Delete
    2. You started looking for her wahala,when she start people will be shouting.

      Delete
  11. Pls tell him and if you are still not ok with it, break up wih him. Dnt waste so much time on it only to break up with him later...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous7/08/2013

      loving the new you. hated the old in your face you . keep it up.

      Delete
  12. Yes he need to knw plz! If ds was another person I would ve told u to forget it but since it has to do wit his bro my dear, his bro wil defnitely recognize u wen he sees u and am sure u wouldn't want it that way. True love stands the test of time, if this will brake d relationshp let it do now.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Wariandre7/08/2013

    My dear there is no point hiding it from him, its better you tell him after all its your past

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous7/08/2013

    ##ashawotins

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous7/08/2013

      @ anon 11:44, how it dis ashawotins??? Ur mentality is sumtin else. Smh. I'm sure u've done worse. Oma Baby.

      Delete
    2. Anon 11:44 is wrong to say "ashawotins"but nowadays a lot of women started losing their mind,they can easily sleep with a guy that can use money and right words on them without even thinking of tomorrow.Well poster,good luck.

      Delete
  15. The earlier the better for you. If you don't use your own mouth to tell him, his brother will do that definitely. And when he does that, he might say it in such a manner that you would regret not ever telling your man in the first place, while continuing the relationship.

    I like Elisoft's idea of calling it off and he asking you why you did that and you forming innocent victim that cannot continue cos of the 'discovery'. He may now be the one preaching to you sef that it means nothing. Just say it one kain sha with wisdom. All d best!

    ReplyDelete
  16. My dear it will do you much if you tell him,coz I'm sure he'll still get to know from his brother. To avoid tagging you a gold digger,I'll suggest you let him know.
    Btw: how would I feel if I get to know Chika once had something to do with my boo,I'll only shine my eyes to avoid second cuming.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous7/08/2013

    You say the repercussion of pre marital sex? Just tell him and c what his reaction wiytll be. Left to me, I will say move on, even if you end up marrying him, imagine urself sitting in ur sitting room with both brothers knowing they can sketch you from memory.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous7/08/2013

      *see* #sketch you naked#

      Delete
  18. Anonymous7/08/2013

    In my opinion I don't tink its her fault. Cos she had a fling wit d oda bro b4 she dated dis guy. So I tink she shld tell her bf abt dis n make he c it happened b4 she met him. My opinion sha. Oma Baby.

    ReplyDelete
  19. teerex7/08/2013

    I believe u should break up with him and move on. My dear imagine if ur sister has slept with ur boyfriend, u would never feel comfortable if u know both of them are in d same place. Pls for sanity sake, move on and pray. I know there are many men in d world and believe me u would find someone else. It's a very awkward situation dt doesn't really have any good outcome. If d parents even find out, na die

    ReplyDelete
  20. I lyk elisoft's idea. Pray 4 wise utterance so u knw d ryt way 2 shape ur mouth. Wish u favour

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous7/08/2013

    Afternoon Eya.I read ur blogs most times when am less busy but don't comment.pls culd u post Umm Khaleel's blog address on ur blog.tanx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ok, when I log in. Check later

      Delete
    2. This is it: http://ummkhaleel.blogspot.com/

      Delete
  22. The negative things we do in life sometimes comes back to haunt us. Runz things I guess, it is better he finds out from you than his brother telling him and not even after you already knew. You have three options, break up with him and never tell him why, tell him and risk him breaking up with you, or you keep mute and risk the brother having any memory of you that's depending if it was a one time fling or not. My two cents.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous7/08/2013

    Just asked my hubby now n he said he won't marry me if I had slept with is bro. But it depends on d guy pple r diff sha o

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahaha,that's harsh but is true.A lot of men cannot accept such lady as their wife.

      Delete
  24. Dats why premarital sex is a NO NO...i told sum1 once dat God really loves us so much dat all his commands and rules were for our good in the long run. i would advise you come clean..tell him ...if he's really your husband he lld understand buh if nt,life goes on dear...pls from now on do away with sex till u marry...thanx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is nothing to understand there.Let me tell you,if that guy is an outsider,he will ignore it but that guy is his own brother.I'm very sure he will never accept her as his wife if they are both igbos.

      Delete
  25. Anonymous7/08/2013

    I will have to copy paste Elisoft's comment, permit me pls...."Since you say he loves you and wants to take d relationship to d next level, then walk out and come see him asking to know what went wrong and begging with his life to have you back, then you can ask him if he truely loves you and not use ur past against you. Of course he will say yes jst to have you back. Then tell about the fling.
    He will definitey feel bad about it. Continuing with d relationship will then b up to him. But dont beat urself about it too much. D deed has been done.
    This is just so are walking out of d relationship with ur head held up high rather than been dumped when he finds out because his brother will definitely tell him when d opportunity comes up"

    As for the Holier-than-thou individuals(who may have done and are still doing worse deeds, and were/are being forgiven,........."He who is without "deeds", should cast the first stone".

    ReplyDelete
  26. Johnson7/08/2013

    Whatever the situation, ya guy will know.. Only u can assess the circumstanx surrounding the fling (abi na relationship?) and how damaging it could be - daz the consequence you have to pay. TELL and free yourself!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous7/08/2013

    Aunty Eya, you deleted my comment. why na??? i didn't say anything out of the ordinary oh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, it may have gone to spam box. I check later

      Delete
  28. Anonymous7/08/2013

    Serious matter.well what I think u should do tell him d whole story but act like it happend 2 a frnd n see his reaction.cos 1 way or d oda he will get 2find out
    Amanda

    ReplyDelete
  29. Like someone said, the deed has been done so don't beat yourself up about or dwell on it too much.

    Please tell him but prepare for the worst case scenario.

    Someone said he may not remember you. You had sex... Now unless he has a terrible memory, he will remember you and sorry to say, tell his brother. Don't under estimate that 'bro code' I witnessed a serious relationship end recently just cause the guy's friend heard 'gist' about the girl that she was loose, just 'gist' o, he told his friend and that was it.

    Another angle is this, what if he doesn't tell him but wants to keep sleeping with you as some form of blackmail. Maybe this is from watching too many movies but it can happen, some people can be sick.

    So tell him first and take it from there, at least he'd have heard it from you first and not his brother which would hurt more AND you'll have a clean conscience.

    All the very best

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous7/08/2013

    But if ur in a serioys relationship wt dis guy, how come u haven't spoken to all d member of his family yet esp d brothers. I would imagine dat he should have told his pple bout u already and sent ur pics to d ones not around thru social media. This sounds like a new relationship to me. Tell him sha, afterall u have nothing much to loose if the relationship continues or ends. The earlier u get out of a relationship dat won't work anyways d better for u. And pls give us a follow up to this gist wen u tell him. Cheers.

    ReplyDelete
  31. You have to let go of him.....trust me you will survive. He isn't meant for you. Be strong

    www.bevshineevents.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  32. pls tell him and free your mind. the earlier the better. but you too should have at least have a clue that you have dated somebody that relates to your present lover, if not from there surname there must be a striking resemblance. you are not just been careful to observe it. you had a relationship in the past that involved you having sex with the person and you just forget like that. There friends, i still recollect every girl i had sex wit till date. Pls tell him and be free. thank you

    ReplyDelete
  33. Anonymous7/08/2013

    Just let him go already cos it's always going to be awkward at every family gathering

    ReplyDelete
  34. London babe7/09/2013

    Hmmmmmm! Your story sounds so much like a nigerian movie I watched recently " bridge of hope"(Desmond Elliot, yemi blaq) Watch the movie and take the simple advice that depicts there!

    ReplyDelete

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