Too Shy To Talk To Ladies, Advice Please

Hi Madam Ojay, I am a young man in my late twenties who desperately needs help. I need tips from your blog readers please. (Hide my ID before you post).

My ex and I were brought together by a friend's hook up. I have never really toasted a lady myself, too shy and have no idea how to say what I have to say. I secretly
admired a lot of good ladies and silently suffered heartbreaks when  sharp guys sweep them off. 

I am not growing younger and would not want another guy connecting me with my future wife.

I have someone right now, would love to talk to but too shy to launch in. Someone please help with a few tips. I dress well and speak well although an introvert to a fault. Even making new friends with guys is difficult for me but not as bad as when I need to make my feelings known to a lady. I need tips and advise please readers.
Thank you.

Comments

  1. Anonymous6/10/2013

    A charmer needs not say no word. I know a guy likes me from his attitude and behaviour around me. Try na be friendly with a lady you admire. from being friends, other things will begin to fall in place.
    Good luck to you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Amanda6/10/2013

    I don't like shy men. LOOsen up pls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/10/2013

      I assume men don't like you too

      Delete
    2. Anonymous6/10/2013

      Sorry, I am not the poster but I assume men don't like you too. He asked for advice. This is not the time to do oversabi in the form of ITK haba.

      Delete
  3. Anonymous6/10/2013

    Bros try your best to become friendly with the babe. before any toasting o.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Which CAMPUS you pass through?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Johnson6/10/2013

    Shyness, in most cases is fear induced – fear of rejection…
    My guy, you just need to brace up – even deaf and dump dey toast babes! Start by complimenting something about her – be sincere and observant. For example, she just made her hair, her dress, bag, shoes, anything. Ladies love being commended for their looks. When she says ‘thank you’, follow with a question/request. For example, I would love to get something like this for my mum, sister – could you give me an idea where to get something this nice… All you are doing is opening a channel of communication. Follow up with offering to buy lunch… It is not out of place to tell a lady that you admire her and would want to be her friend. It will be jackpot if the lady had been eyeing you… try to always have some gist – you can talk about events/stories on wives connection…

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/10/2013

      Thank for this advise oga Johnson. People should be considerate when replying to peoples need for information. Not every guy is a player and not all girls are runs babes.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous6/13/2013

      Hello Poster, i really appreciate your plight and as Johnson said, you don't have to go straight to asking her out. A lady should know when a guy likes her - i'm a lady and i know when a man likes me. All you need is to be smooth about it, talk with her on any opportunity and try and always look at her and smile - it's okay if she sees you looking at her. Also, you may get her mobile number from someone close if asking her outrightly isn't easy. Send her sms if you're still shy to talk on the phone and i'm sure things will go on gradually.

      Best of luck!
      Cheers.

      Delete
  6. A little alcohol could help,like half a glass of wine.it could make u less tense and sincere.then you walk up to her and pour out your mind,exactely how you feel.she might have been waiting for you to make a move all along.
    And If that dosent work,write her a note,a very sweet long note telling here how shy you are and how much you like her.
    Don't drink and drive,ciao!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous6/10/2013

    Praise the name of the Lord. He is worthy to be praised. How many Christians truly worship and praise the Lord of Hosts. Are you the type of Christian who would spend one hour in asking from God, thirty minutes in firing at the enemy and two minutes in worshiping and thanking the KING OF KINGS? His word clearly says in the book of Psalms chapter 100 verse 4( psalm 100:4) that we should enter into his gates with
    thanksgiving, and into his courts with
    praise: be thankful to him, and bless his
    name. Why can't we spend time to praise THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE. If it were to be the president, we would be ready to lie down flat on the floor, how much more THE I AM THAT I AM. Jesus died for us and gave us a free gift of salvation, how often do we exalt his HOLY name. Let's begin to thank him for all he has done, is doing and yet to do. Praise the EVERLASTING KING!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/11/2013

      So my question is: Why don't you start your own blog and preach the gospel there. I no be devils advocate oh....

      Delete
  8. aww I love shy guys .. sweetie,like Johnson said compliment her outfit, talk about random stuffs like the weather, music, latest news nothing too stressful for you. So as you both get comfortable ask her to go have a drink or see a movie with you..AND NOT BY TEXT MESSAGE..ask her face to face..TAKE CHARGE.. you can be shy but please take charge.. xx

    ReplyDelete
  9. I once read and still have a book titled "RISKING" by John Viscot... After all the pages, the moral and essence of the author was...

    "If you'll never try, you"ll never get"

    "Nothing is certain but trying gives experience"

    @Poster, to be realistic you are not only scared of chatting up a woman you are scared of daring into many new things. It is who you are, you only admitted this cos you need a woman. Note: this doesn't mean you can't be successful in one thing you choose to do.

    The lesson is.... Never let all the good things you are destined for pass you by! Be it a woman, an endeavor or an adventure.

    Lastly, I'll recommend you see the movie "Pursuit of Happiness" by will smith, you'll learn an eternal lesson in doggedness & persistence in the face of denial and failure.


    Nuff'Said!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Claire6/11/2013

    Why hide under anonymous to preach the gospel! That's to say you aren't proud in doing that which you strongly believe in! Jesus wasn't a nameless being neither was john de baptist! No doubt, you are doing the right thing in preaching the gospel but have a name which we can refer to! As for the poster- if you shy away from all the ladies you so desire to have, you wld end up with what you least expect in life! You visualise the whole scene in your head n you end up loosing the vibe! Don't think but act! You wld be amaze on how that works!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Pls poster try and be bold okay, don't hv any fear or timidity God hasn't given us a spirit of fear but boldness. Back to your post, most times the 1st girl you talk to might not really be the one so you will get rejection, brace yourself up that what ever happenes you will try again. To get friends you must show yourself to be friendly, have the right smile etc but in the process don't I repeat do not forget you identity example you are an introvert but you like an extrovert pls to attempt to start talking too much, going out and trying to be like her. Maintain your own identity and God will bring someone your way. Lemme share an short story, you see how I met my hubby, he was the shy type and also doesn't talk much, he saw my picture and searched for my number, we started talking and spoke for 11 months before we met reason I was in school then but I we spoke so well I got to know him more than ppl I see daily, when we finally met everything fell in place. So pls make sure you are comfortable, be yourself and take charge okay! All the best.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous6/11/2013

    oya, our able brothers in the house to the rescue biko. help this bro out.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous6/11/2013

    Praise the name of the Lord. He is worthy to be praised. How many Christians truly worship and praise the Lord of Hosts. Are you the type of Christian who would spend one hour in asking from God, thirty minutes in firing at the enemy and two minutes in worshiping and thanking the KING OF KINGS? His word clearly says in the book of Psalms chapter 100 verse 4( psalm 100:4) that we should enter into his gates with
    thanksgiving, and into his courts with
    praise: be thankful to him, and bless his
    name. Why can't we spend time to praise THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE. If it were to be the president, we would be ready to lie down flat on the floor, how much more THE I AM THAT I AM. Jesus died for us and gave us a free gift of salvation, how often do we exalt his HOLY name. Let's begin to thank him for all he has done, is doing and yet to do. Praise the EVERLASTING KING!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Johnson6/11/2013

      Thanks Anon 7:56am... I'll suggest you send some inspiration message(s) to Eya for publication. I belive that would get better attention - what do you think?

      Delete
  14. Anonymous6/11/2013

    Dear poster,av got jus a piece of advic 4 u...if u love or admire a lady,just walk up 2 her nd tell her u llove her,is as simple as dat...u know wat,kip tokin 2 urslf dat ure bold,ure confidence,lok into d mirror,wear an enchantin smile,raise ur shoulderz up high,chest out nd walk up 2 dat lady u so much desire.......most guys dat i know equaly confess of being shy,scared nd afraid of aproachin me bt funi enof wen dey get 2 meet me,they jus heav a sign of relief dat they neva knew am dis aproachable.......back 2 u poster,launch out stil u get wat u want,funi enof,ave got a soft spot 4 shy guysz....#Thelma#

    ReplyDelete
  15. Priscy6/11/2013

    Hope it's not dat boy I have been secretly admiring as well...plz come and talk to me joor...been waiting for like forever..lol

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous6/11/2013

    Sant Ritz is more than just a home. Its combination of condominium status with contemporary ville living.
    the interlace condo

    ReplyDelete
  17. Bislondy6/11/2013

    Its normal for guys to be scared b4 approaching any lady, its majorly fear of 'ela'(being rejected). Just summon enough courage to approach her and be ready for any response u might get, so that u wouldn't be caught unawares. All da best bro.

    ReplyDelete

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