Re: Hundred Percent Transparency In Marriage

I'm a silent reader of this blog, but feel that I would comment on this issue

I have been married 30 years + (almost 31 years) with 3 grown children and 5 grand babies. I always tell the younger ones when they ask me what has kept my husband and I together and happy all this while that it's love. Today people are so selfish and think of only themselves. No marriage can be truly
happy that way. A lifetime is a long time to live with baggage and secrets!

I do admit, I'm married to a wonderful man, the best actually. But I learned long ago, my duty is to love and obey, irrespective of how he treats me. I allow God the Father to sort him out. 100% transparency has worked for me. I like to think for him too, but I don't beat myself up about it.

I think just because you've been married for donkey years doesn't make you 'experienced'. We learn every day. Some women who think they've mastered it all are shocked by the hubby after 20 years and he drops a bomb on them. Just depend on God and not your 'wisdom'. It will ALWAYS fail you.
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Comments

  1. I also think that complete transparency is best. It's easier for u not to have to think b4 talking to ur spouse...way easier than having to preselect things to say/be made known to him/her.It would help one's mind to be free of habouring and planning wrong thoughts. Besides, that's how it's meant to be. Always have God by u, with u, in u, He'll always have ur back. If ur spouse does u wrong, cry all u will and remember...God is just and He sees all.

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  2. Anonymous6/16/2013

    to each his own. If your man deserves hundred percent, carry go. mine doesn't unless I want to suffer lack and want.

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  3. sister6/16/2013

    God forbid!some people read too much mills and boom.Transperancy ke olorun maje
    My country people its too risky oooo infact I no fit
    Make I declare secret bank acct and landed properties for wetin naa abi make e for love me wella
    Madam poster ,goodluck to u
    shogbo.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/17/2013

      Sister of life! You keep it real.

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    2. Anonymous6/17/2013

      Wa shere iya mi!

      Delete
  4. Anonymous6/16/2013

    I pity african women. Your culture preach you should be submissive no matter wat? Even if he is pounding your head on the wall everyday still be submissive "I do admit, I'm married to a wonderful man, the best actually. But I learned long ago, my duty is to love and obey, irrespective of how he treats me" irrespective of how he treats you? Oh please do not make others reading this feel it is okay to stay in any relationship no matter how they are being treated. Please go and read DV dairy on stella's blog then you will know if no matter how he treats you still counts.
    Sorry Eya I don't mean to refer people to Stella's site oo. The comment irrespective of how he treats her only got to me. Please no vex.
    And for any typo, make una no vex. Na rush type.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/16/2013

      My sister I agree with you,I just read that story of that abused woman,so many women including myself are pretending to be happy because of what people will say, the stigma that goes with broken home even if it's not the wOman effOrt but society will already blame the woman,may God help us.... Even the poster am sure will not support if her marriage is otherwise.

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    2. Its not the African Culture, it is what the bible teaches about love. From the example Christ set for us...Loving the lovable is easy but whats sets us apart is Christians is when we are able to love the unlovable....For while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

      So yes, irrespective of how he treats you.

      p.s wisdom also applies...if your husband is physically abusive and and your health/life is at stake, then it may be wise to separate yourself from the situation physically while trying to sort things out and trusting God to work things out.

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    3. Typo: *what sets us apart as* Christians.

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    4. Anonymous6/17/2013

      It is more of the africa mentality than christanity.

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  5. irrespective of how he treats you? For bringing that up, I wonder how healthy the marriage is for you that you have not forgiven and forgotten. But hey, it is your marriage, and one thing about relationships, just like life and salvation, there is no one size fits all. Just don't die inside :)

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  6. 100% transparency yes! Only if it's reciprocal.

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  7. irrespective of how he treats you?? That line is totally misleading!!! i don't agree with that.

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  8. To each his own really. Transparency works for me and I speak for it.

    dressed2dnines.blogspot.com

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  9. Irrespective of how he treat you????
    *yawns*
    Next Pls

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  10. Anonymous6/17/2013

    Abeg wots d link to d story on stella's blog.tanks

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/17/2013

      Stella korkus blog
      Domestic Violence *part 1,2 and currently on part 3*

      Delete
  11. Anonymous6/17/2013

    Irrespective of how he treats you? Dts a no no! When u read stories like this http://myondostate.com/w3/last-testament-aggrieved-wife-writes-philandering-pastor-husband-from-the-grave/ and follow SDK's domestic violence diary, then you'll think twice

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  12. Anonymous6/21/2013

    All those preaching bible, the bible says any man who can not provide for his family is an infidel. I know many christian men, who don't provide for their families even when they have the means to. How about, love your wife like Christ loved the church? What happens when the Man has broken all this biblical rules eh? All these misleading people.

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  13. Mummy Ej6/22/2013

    What I meant by 'irrespective of how he treats me' is that even if he isn't nice I won't reciprocate and be mean also. That's not my place. The bible doesn't teach us to love only when we are loved.

    That being said, I do not advice any woman to stay and be killed by a violent husband. That's not what I meant at all and I apologize for the ambiguity.

    Also, for the young singles, be very careful before you marry. There are always signs pointing to the fact that your man is secretive. Don't short change your future happiness for whatever reason. Marry a man that loves and respects you. Above all, be prayerful because some men can deceive even the most observant of women.

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