Natural Or Spiritual Love?

Hello Aunty Eya. Something happened to me recently and it had me asking a different kind of question. A majority of marital problems posted on your blog are about cheating spouses, the majority being Men cheating on their wives. I once posted about a possible cheating husband also, but please do not link back to my previous post.

After taking the advice I got from your blog and absolutely dedicating

my problem to God through prayers, prayers and more prayers. It was revealed to me that the woman my husband was having an affair with charmed him. 

No jokes here! She put something in the food she brought to him when I was away. I also got a confession from him that from that day, he slowly lost himself in her. If I wasn't so neck deep in prayers the truth wouldn't have surfaced, I would have left my marriage thinking my husband is like the rest, a dog that couldn't control himself. 

I thank God for the revelation because some women are evil and can go to any length to get the men they desire. However,  this is an advice to all the women going through something similar, don't be quick to assume the love your husband has for another woman is natural. 

PRAY and PRAY. For there is a chance your husband isn't acting out of his own will. God bless you all. 
Thanks.

Comments

  1. I agree completely. Time to start by fire prayer againoooo. In these parts of the world, most single ladies are still very fetish and coverting.

    They want the money bag by all means possible. May God continue to protect my husband for us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/26/2013

      I ve to start my hot fire prayers again too. It is well amen.

      Delete
  2. Anonymous6/26/2013

    da females wud continue defending da males.
    d black magic wud nt wuk if he wz nt interested in d first place.
    wives blame d miztress, wat of d husbands dat went 2 approach them?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/26/2013

      Good question

      Delete
    2. Priscy6/26/2013

      Exactly...if ur hubby was not interested in d first place, he would not be easily tempted.

      Delete
  3. lol I swear this made me crack up! so your hubby said he lost his self after that and you are blaming the girl and not your husband ? did she just fall in front of him from no where ? you need to TALK to your husband and WARN him.. that girl did nothing to you..YOUR husband is the cause because he allowed it .. your husband also had an evil spirit in him because he tried to hurt you and destroy your home!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous6/26/2013

    Sori to say,but u cant blame those girls who charm ur husbands,it is d men that approached dem n mayb he is giving dem enuf frm his goody bag to make dem want to charm him. Wives wen u pray dont just lay curses on ur husbands mistress pray for ur husband not to find any oda girl interesting,dat shud be ur top priority! Shikena

    ReplyDelete
  5. @ Anon...U just spoke my mind. Did he just go to a restaurant to eat and his food was jazzed? Nope! You can't make me fall in love with something that I don't like in the first place. Juju or not.

    It's like when people started calling for Serena Williams' head because she kinda blamed the rape victim. One truth from what she said is that a 16yr old girl shudnt av been wasted.

    My point is, yes, there is jazz in the world. Yes, so many single women are fetish. knowing this, why would a married man go and put himself and his family in harm's way? You are lucky he was only jazzed. What if you were poisoned?

    Moreover I dnt like it when single ladies are accused of all sorts...cos we were all once single and I know my single friends who trust in God completely for their own.

    For all you know, the lady might have just washed her hand well and prepared a delicious meal and ur husband was hooked! Good cooking might be her 'jazz'. I am just saying o, not that your case wasnt real jazz.

    I just feel married women should WATCH and pray. Like on the types of husband post, some people were saying ur marriage must be more than 10 yrs before you can say the kind of husband you have. Not true. A lion cannot wake up one morning and become a goat...not possible. Even from the boyfrienmd stage, we all know good people when we meet them..,but some of us wanted the more exciting bad boys and the trill of adventure.

    Some marital problems stem from the fact that ladies like to marry people they are 'better' than character wise. He is irresponsible...'well, I will be responsible for two.' He is a cheat...'well, after marriage he will change and be hooked on me'. He is not spiritually sound,... 'ah! I am a prayer warrior, I will stand in the gap for two'.

    In the end, they complain cos they see that he remained the goat he had always been!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. bitter truth6/26/2013

      Yea I said above 10yrs cus by dat tym a normal couple mite av knw all abt dem selves. Does wo categorized dir hubby #1-9 shud just b patient cus "Change s vry constant".
      10yrs s a long way so many tins wud av happened (as in ups n downs)
      Lyk wise does wo chose 10, nobdy prays 4 evil to bfall on dem selves abi? its just how "Change" works.

      Sum bf act vry responsible b4 marriage n afta marriage acts diffntly. Everytin s "Change" .No boby n dir right mind wil c a hungry lion and go n play with it.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous6/26/2013

      @bitter, please ehn no vex o. Can you reduce the abbreviations? Na question i ask o. No vex u hear, just pity those of us that are still old fashioned. Thank you

      Delete
    3. God bless u Ahdaisy for that paragraph before the last one. Absolutely true. Most problems in marriage occur because women feel they will change the men once they become the Mrs cos they have the opposite character of that bad character. On point!

      Delete
    4. bitter truth6/26/2013

      Lol@ anon 12.06 no mind mi jare wil try 2 reduce d abbreviations.

      Sorry for any woman wo has dat in mind. I wonder wat happened to loving sumone for who they are @ Jay

      Delete
    5. @bitter truth, abi o. But no, they want to change them by fire. Then the eyes become clear when they become the Mrs and see that it doesn't really work that way. Na so my sister.

      Delete
  6. Sorry, but I have to LOL a bit. Pearzville is on point. Warn him seriously!

    Women, there's nothing a cheating partner wouldn't say/confess just so as to shift the blame away. If I recall your initial post, it wasn't just one girl that was in the question. They were like a legion or so. If a single girl wants to take your husband at all, best bet, it would be to chase you out of your home 'spiritually' and capture the man that showed her a bit of 'chasing skirt interest' but made it somehow known to her after she fell for him that he has a 'big madam' that he can't leave.

    By the way, what was their initial relationship such that your husband could have food brought to him by this woman and he would eat that food? Something is definitely amiss... As the bible said, watch and pray! Watch this thing well. Not listen to confession and pray. Keyword: watch.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ok so d husband is to be blamed yes but d evil home wreker nko? If a man askes you out and u find out he is married why can you just say no? If we women wach out 4 ourselves shebi the men will have no choise but to b faithful or turn gay!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Iyawo, thank you! thank you!! thank you!!!!!!

      I thought I was the only one here who thinks both the man and the woman should be blamed.

      Yeah I said it, both men and women should be blamed!

      Why can't a woman(whether single or married) leave a man alone when she knows he's married? Also why can't the married man be mindful of his association with women?

      Men shouldn't put themselves in awkward situations that will give these women an inch to take a mile to wreck havoc.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous6/26/2013

      u do read sdk blog ruby,
      did u nt read a post where d man said, he never told her he was married?
      and now d recent post in wc abt d interior decorator complaining how married men r hitting on her behind their wives back?
      many men dnt wear their rings & can lie 2 get wat they want.
      in this post, she is solely blaming d other woman, exonerating her husband.
      evry wife shud challenge their husband & nt d mistress.

      Delete
    3. Anon. 10:35PM, I didn't base my comment mainly on what the poster said; I was viewing it on a wider scale.

      As per the married man stuff on SDK, the lady isn't to blame because he didn't know she was dating a married man.

      If she knew from the start and still continued, the blame is hers. Also, the man too for being an oloju kokoro.

      I say it again, both the married men and the desperados should be blamed as the case maybe.

      Delete
  8. Anonymous6/26/2013

    Your all making sense oo...I mean there must have been a previous kind of relationship for the girl to feel comfrotable bringing food to him..but at the sme tym I tink the poster is trying to say not all love is natural, tings dey happen dese days oh. Agreed the husbnds are part to blame sha

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous6/26/2013

    everyone one always blames the side chick first and not husbands or boyfriends which is very wrong..who are you suppose to trust ? a stranger or your significant other ? Yes there are evil girls around but how did your hubster get involved ? because he went for her.. don't start blaming that girl you better blame your husband.. all these married men that chase after single girls..

    ps.. these post I read here on men mistreating their wives are scary..makes one wonder and also initially decide not to get married..I no fit carry wahala o..

    And I don't like the fact that women are advised to pray and pray because of a cheating husband..it pisses me off !! is he a child ? should he not know better ? were these signs not noticed during courtship ?why will he want to give so much stress, heartache and other negative energies that comes with a cheating bastard ? I guess I may never understand because I'm still in my youth. shrugs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon you are so right about the praying and cheating thing. Even the bible didn't say that, to be real and honest here. Adultery was the only criteria given for divorce. That's to say how God detests cheating and doesn't condone it and wouldn't even want anyone to condone it, so to say.

      If it's in the abroad now and a woman was married with kids and finds something suspicious (calls, chats etc), she'll just go home, arrange the man's clothes, dump them on the stairs leading to the house and if possible, shatter his car somehow. And the man go dey fear for him life, would be really pleading, scared that he'll lose his home and kids etc.

      But 9ja scenario, man go just dey bounce, they flaunt the thing cos last last, the woman will be jumping from prayer house to prayer house with tears in her eyes asking God to change the man. Kai! 9ja women? Which way?

      Delete
    2. @JaY, u made me burst into serious laughter in my office wit ur comment,@ d man go dey bounce they flaunt the thing........ For real u re so on point.

      Delete
    3. @JaY, you are on point!
      The thing is our so called "culture" tolerates men going astray unlike overseas where such is seriously frown at.

      Delete
    4. My dears na so oh. The one bible said people should pray about, they won't have time to pray about that one cos the one the bible didn't give a specification about praying about, people have become too scared to put their two feet on the floor and 'do something', instead they'll just hide in one shell and say 'after all, I have my kids. I'm living for them'; while going to sleep in tears, catching STDs, not being able to caution the man and of course, praying against the girls and for the man to change. *phew! We need to see through God's eyes to know what to really do. God doesn't condone it. You shouldn't. But our culture says otherwise. God abeg o.

      Delete
    5. Anonymous6/26/2013

      lolzzzzzz.
      WORD!
      women should pray nt 2 get STD instead,use CD if they suspect their husbands.

      Delete
  10. Pearzville, Ahdaisy, Jay and Anon are all on point. Its high time we stopped making excuses for men who cheat. Granted, there are loads of desperate ladies both married and single who go about looking for families to destroy.

    Men should learn self-control and discipline! They should learn to be content with their wives!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous6/26/2013

    Choose not to marry, bf will still give you problem o. Not all marriages are struggling so be careful with husband choice

    ReplyDelete
  12. Okay O! I wanna deviate. Wen peo choose spouses, do dey xpct God 2 tel dem sista so n so or broda dis n dis is ur husband or wife? Real lyf gobe! A pastor while preachin, called a broda n sista frm d congregation and told D broda dt d sista is his wife. Now dis is a guy hu already had marriage plans underway with a girl frm a different church who he had dated 4 ova 5yrs. But bcos papa had spoken, he dumped ha arse straight and immediatly married d sista. So pls O! Wht do u peo tink bout dis. Can man call God a liar! If dis peo brk up 2mor, wetin papa wan talk?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/26/2013

      I feel sorry for the dumped lady. See what a pastor caused. Must d wife come from his church?

      Delete
    2. Similar tin happened to someone I knw. She was dating a guy in d same church and all of a sudden the presiding pastor called the guy one day and told him to quit any relashionshp he's into and marry one chorister. Na so the guy dump the first girl o

      Delete
    3. Anonymous6/26/2013

      Mumu they worry them... One man once said such pastor and his members needs deliverance. Wife/husband can only be seen in Christ and not in Church. Besides the body of Christ is one, no division.

      Delete
  13. Anonymous6/26/2013

    The ladies are to blame Jor, can't they say no to advances from married men?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/26/2013

      boo..not every girl has good morals.. some will say yes because they want money and other goodies that comes with having a sugar daddy! how can you say the women are to be blamed ? lol whats their business pls ? if u are a woman you better know who you are with. or even if you are a man.never blame someone, either male or female for your significant other's mistakes or temptations!! they be omomo ?

      Delete
    2. Fellybaby6/26/2013

      abi oooooooo

      Delete
    3. Anonymous6/26/2013

      Ask me. Well I think most people misunderstood this poster. She didn't say the man is free from blame all she said is that sometimes its nt normal.

      And people just pray it does not befall anyone Ooº°˚ cos wen the devil is out for a man if u like sit in your house and don't go out it will come and meet you right inside your room. anyhow sha thank God for answered prayers.

      Delete
  14. Anonymous6/26/2013

    Please u all should understand the poster and not just say what u dont know... who told u that u man must be interested in a woman before the woman can jazz him.... Havent u heard of friends who are jealous of what there friends have and end uo going fetish to have there friends man? or about collegues who like the fact that the man is a good man and is good in his house,with his kids and wife and they would go fetish to get him? And some men who want to stray ones and the girls hook them with jazz..? havent u heard of house helps who jazzed there bosses and the oga throws wives outside not bcos he had interest in her but cos maid wanted what madam is enjoying?

    Those of u saying women should not pray,dont pray o,when a woman comes and take what u struggled for,then u would know what it feels like especially when u know your husband is not randy

    adhaisy,i'm not one of ur haters o,but ur fan actually but u didnt say something i like so pls permit me to say this,change is the only constant thing in life.. people change,if ur hubby is good today and he changes 2moro,then u have to look for the cause and u can only get it by prayer. some women married randy men and they changed after marriage,not cos of anything but the prayer of the woman. Women are the spiritual leaders in a home,if ur husband isnt the praying time which most men are not,u stand in the gap,gradually u can change him.

    my point is,i agree with the poster,not all men cheat with there senses. some stray once out of frustration and the get hooked with charm,some men are just good to people and some girls see it as a reason to hook them with jazz and some men are randy in nature and they get hooked,either way,pray,pray,pray. a cheating man can change

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/26/2013

      Anon! You jast said my mind entirely. The ITKs of WC all jumped on d poster's neck. She posted this as an advice telling u all tht smtyms there are few men that fall victims. The poster Is nt asking fr rude comments about her decision, if she likes she shud forgive him, u dnt knw the whole story.take the posters advise or shut it..all this negetivity sef..msheww.

      Delete
    2. Thank you and God bless

      Delete
    3. Anonymous6/26/2013

      you have said it all. I would have said the same thing when I commented earlier but really don't have the strength to type long story. Everybody misunderstood the poster. I pray for the people that claim that the have good marriages on WC by their own power. may evil not befall them. Yes even when they say they pray they always make it sound like they know it all and it is by the strength of their prayer. Well God knows best I am not hating anybody but it will be better if some of us hide our way of lifes cause trust me not everyone is happy when they see you happy so keep some of your sweet marriages private.

      Delete
    4. @Anon 10:21am-i beg of u don't turn teachings of men into God's word!Don't ursurp the role God gave to the family head-the HUSBAND!he's the spiritual head not the woman!Ephesians 5:22-24,1Cor 11:3further emphasizes this.
      That is why if u are marrying and ur husband-to-be doesn't have a wholesome fear of God and isn't spiritual then u MUST be concerned!
      At Colossians 3:18 wives are to be in subjection to their husbands as it is becoming in the Lord not the husband under the woman so my dear a woman's place is not being a spiritual head,it is for the man!don't get it twisted.
      Yes a woman ought to be spiritual too but the lines/roles are clearly defined!1Cor 11:3-10

      Delete
    5. Anon. 10:21AM
      You've said it all; the beginning, middle and final.

      Abena, yeah I agree with you that the man is the spiritual head of the family but in cases where the man is lackadaisical in spiritual matters, what should the woman do? Just stay like that and keep waiting till the man assumes his role?

      IMO, the woman should take it up temporarily not forgetting to pray for GOD to open his eyes to his spiritual responsibility.

      If she doesn't, the family will suffer terribly for their spiritual irresponsibilities.

      Delete
    6. Anonymous6/26/2013

      I dnt wanna sound like holier than thou which am not,buh from wht has been written,so wuh happens to the potion of the bible that says do not be unequally yoked wiv unbelievers?

      Delete
  15. Anonymous6/26/2013

    Ahdaisy u no tlk sense today ataaalllllll...see ur mouth. Better pray ur never a victim because even innocent people tht dnt put themselves in the way of temptation still get burnt smtyms. How will u explain the case of babies or purely innocent people tht get hiv? Smtyms in life bad tingz can happen to u without an ounce of your fault. Reason d poster

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/26/2013

      So true, ahdaisy mess up for this one sha. Well no man has all the knowledge. The poster was simply misunderstood.

      Delete
  16. Mee Noni6/26/2013

    Ghen ghen, WC is on fire 2day! Anyways, you guys should always try and read a post well before commenting, English could be hard o, but the post is still clear enough :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/26/2013

      Nne, english comprehension na wahala for africa Ooº°˚ .

      Delete
  17. AN OBSERVATION6/26/2013

    Bellanaija: Women argue logically without insulting people's personalities and comprehension.

    Wives Connection : Women can never argue logically without insulting people's personalities and comprehension.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/26/2013

      Do people still go to bellanaija
      Hey fuck off ok

      Delete
    2. ANOTHER OBSERVATION6/26/2013

      Intelligent people still do. But Shallow minded people that use the f word on WC don't.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous6/26/2013

      You can like to stick to bellanaija and leaves us on WC alone Ooº°˚ we like ourselves like that.pass on with your observation. Thank you...

      Delete
    4. Anon 1:11pm: A Big YES thousands of people still go to to bellanaija becos infantile rants and language such as yours wouldn't be tolerated!
      And they rock!!

      Delete
    5. Ezewanyi6/26/2013

      @abena,go to BN naa and drop ur intelligent comment aka madam sting
      Quote bible all u want u are just a frustrated lowlife

      Delete
    6. And by calling me a frustrated low life(somebody u don't know),your IQ has increased?or your salary was increased?or u acquired an all expense paid trip to Cancun Islands in Mexico?
      People are soo rude and mannerless!they just bandy words around because the internet gives them a false sense of security.
      Wonder what kind of training u would or is giving to your kids:to be abusive with their speech and yet update their status that 'I'm bleSsed and highly favored?'U think that cuts it?
      Your internet life must be a reflection of your life,u can't have double standards!

      Delete
    7. As far as I'm concerned, rude and caustic comments abound online but Bella Naija won't approved such. Hence the site is devoid of such comments unlike others sites that approve such.

      Delete
    8. Bella Naija is still one of the most respected sites there is in Nigeria and Africa if I must add...not for illiterate housewives who like to run their mouths anyhow.

      Delete
    9. Anonymous6/26/2013

      @Ezewanyi,
      Abena is not sting!
      I repeat again, Abena is not sting!
      Sting does not believe in religion!
      Anybody who reads her blog knows that!
      Please you and awele should leave this innocent lady alone and not drag her into your drama!
      Abena is a married woman!
      Hates fornication with a passion!
      And cuss ladies involved in the act!
      LEAVE STING OUT OF THIS BLOG!

      Delete
    10. Loool about hate fornication with a passion.Well I would like to add that I believe and live my life like how True christians are supposed to.
      I diligently adhere to the Bible and it principles in my everyday life.
      Like Jeremiah,whatever decision I make I ask:where is Jehovah?
      It not easy to do so in Satan's system of things but the joy of obeying of 1John 5:3 surpasses any fleshly gain.
      Thank You.

      Delete
  18. Anonymous6/26/2013

    Gbamest!!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous6/26/2013

    Ghen ghen!graps zobo and bread!lol!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous6/26/2013

    Ezenwanyi am sure you are the same anonymous commenting n replying urself. Why don't you leave Ahdaisy alone ? She gave her opinion and all of us can't see things from the same perspective, so drop ur comment and move on. Is getting irritating.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous6/27/2013

    Ezenwanyi or whatever, if you want to know what an anuofia look like, go take a look at a mirror. You are bitter soul and one of these days, you are going to choke on foul words.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ezewanyi6/27/2013

      Ezewanyi ogada ezewanyi ni ne ezewanyi omalicha
      @anon I don't care about u nor ahdaisy both of u are inconsequential yes oooo
      I am d light that brightens d day d mouthpiece of d spirits
      I am a symbol of purity chastity virginity lol
      My dear anon its u who should take a long look at ur pathetic and sorry excuse of ur life and self and ask urself some soul searching questions because I know u

      Delete
  22. Anonymous6/27/2013

    Ezenwanyi u are representing ur family very well am convinced you are a younger version of you mom. Go on keep spewing venom. Like I said, you will choke on it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ezewanyi6/27/2013

      Ezewanyi ugegbe osi na azu afu uzo,ibilibe ogada sho sho sho ogadinma
      @anon mama venom d snake charmer d venom spitter o gini ezewanyi di kwa too much ooo
      I go fe gi aju oooooooo

      Delete
  23. Anonymous6/27/2013

    Whatever voodoo stuff you are spewing back to sender. Say it in English am sure ur gods understands English. Local chick, local groove. Am sure blog fight is the only fun you have.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous6/27/2013

    Whatever voodoo stuff you are spewing back to sender. Say it in English am sure ur gods understands English. Local chick, local groove. Am sure blog fight is the only fun you have.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hahahahahahahahaha. Please all these foreigners should go back to their BN and leave our WC for us o. @ ezenwanyi, u are none of what u think u are, u are far from it and can never be it, now Go away.in other news, may God protect our husbands from these witchdoctors masqurading as classy girls.

    ReplyDelete

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