My Husband Is Taking A Second Wife

Hello Eya, please help me post my story on your blog. I need advise before I run mad in this house. My husband of only 20 years is planning on taking another wife after all we have been through together. 

I married this man when he had nothing. We started from scratch and today are somewhere. I have always tried to be the best to make him happy even with his philandering ways. He has always been wayward but each time he's caught, he pleaded like a baby.

I have suffered. Invested all my life in this marriage and there is nothing we have not been blessed with. We have both
Adam and Eve for kids. They are all doing well by human standards. The very year my husband entered that Multinational Company, I started hearing rumour of a steady mistress in a nearby town. To keep my home in peace, I refused to make any trouble. Unlike me that would have tracked him down, this time I got so tired and refused to listen to gossip.

The story now is that he is planning on their traditional marriage and renting a place for her.Can I survive this? This is a young girl I can't afford to go into competition with after 5 kids.I still try my best to take care of myself and look beautiful but not to the extent of competing with a sweet 16. 

Last night I tried to find out the truth from him but he says as long as he gives me everything I need, that shouldn't be my problem. He neither said yes nor NO to my questions. I have a funny feeling this is true. 

Shame on me. I don't even have a private anything after all these years.How I allowed myself to be blinded by love is incredible.I don't want to die neither do I want to hurt somebody, all I need is advice like they always give to women in distress. Please, please help me with honest advice.
Thank you

Comments

  1. Hi Poster,pls turn to God alone,he will fight the battle,n @the end u will rejoice.believe in hs words n concentrate on d kids n try to save for a biz.God wil see u thru.

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  2. Hi Poster,pls turn to God alone,he will fight the battle,n @the end u will rejoice.believe in hs words n concentrate on d kids n try to save for a biz.God wil see u thru.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous6/07/2013

    Madam I rily feel for u,its not easy sharing d man u'v loved all d days of ur life wit one small girl.I am also goin tru same thing bur my hubby keeps promising heaven & earth.but av committed everyfin to Gods able hands & I know HE won't forsake me so I implore u to turn to God.

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  4. Anonymous6/07/2013

    SIGH. Totally feel your pain.after suffering with our men from scratch some silly little girl will come and grab him 'readymade'. Not that I dnt blame your hubby oh, he took himself there...BuT, Until anything is certain try not to think too much so as not to hurt your health. Like the other bloggers said, the first step is prayer.tell God your problem. He always listens. Not that this will reduce the blow but your lucky to have had a 20year marriage. Take it easy

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  5. Duchess6/07/2013

    Go naked in the midnight and pray on the girls head! They are called spiritual monkeys... You will see result. I pray that God gives you strength cos this is not just ordinary jare. I no just wan vex for this case but all i can say is 'IT IS WELL'!

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  6. 1.Pray (that biatch may be using jazz. I don't trust desperados these days) 2.get a lawyer so dat and your marriage papers ready just so you know your stand 4.Talk more and seek the help of a marriage counsellor

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  7. poster the only thing you can do right now is PRAY!!!!!!!!! Pray ur husband out of that marriage. only God is able to change the hearts of men. when praying, go to God with this scripture mark 10:9..its His word, hold him to it. the ernest expectation of the righteous can never be cut short. Spend time with God so much that when that strange woman sees ur husband, she'd start to run. Everything is first of spiritual before physical. Tackle this in the realm of the spirit. God hears the prayers of his children..hold on to God very tight and dont take no for an answer. PRAY UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS. God's grace ma.

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  8. Anonymous6/07/2013

    Pray...Pray...Pray...Sometimes I pity God lets think of more realistic solutions than prayer alone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please let's start from you first, thank you.

      Delete
    2. Anon, God isn't complaining. He isn't man that you should pity Him. He is an ever ready Father. Have you seen anywhere in the bible where he asked for man's pity? If He could send His son to suffer and die without pity, what is prayer that He should require pity on?

      Delete
    3. U underestimatethe Almighty All powerful God! The Able, Perfect,Wise and Just God! 41ithout whom we can do nothing!!! All of our help cometh from Him.. He is d Alpa n Omega! Aleph n Tav! He is FIRST n Last and we should always put Him first.. He is not a half way God rather a complete God! 4eva Faithful to complete what He has started. He is a more than enough God ,pressed shaken together and running over! He knows all things and has the perfect answer to every problem .. Going to Him with faith n confidence that He is able settles it all, u dnt need any other realistic solution, DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE JEHOVAh! DO NOT drag people along into ur doubting Thomas faith n unbelief world, where people depend on other"more realistic" options as u term it..
      Even though God has placed in man, the capacity to handle some matter cos its His very breath that's in us anyway, so there's no time we eva depend o ourselves or other options.. We can do absolutely nothing without Him, He is more Realistic than u can eva imagine.. He is enoug for me and am totally dependent on Him , I dunno about u.. Keep searching for other realistic options...

      Delete
    4. Without* , enough*

      Delete
    5. Whew.... What more can I say!

      This same God you used all the blunders and punctuation error to hail is the one that caught up with you.

      By trying to correct my english you insulted me the last time, you even went as far as my google+ profile to search for errors to use against me, you bragged that you don't ever make mistakes in english..

      Hehehehehe! I bet you urself can't read all the crass-crap and error ridden conjectures that you just put up here.

      I blamed oversight & Autotext for my error, what will you say made perfect you err?

      Oh God of Pope francis1, God of Fr. Mbaka thank you for this instant judgment!


      Nuff'Paise! ):

      Delete
    6. Lmaoo! I was on the move duuuh! The train journey was a bumpy one, and I was standing, I honestly saw all the errors, but cldnt be bothered, btw just got home and thot of deleting and editing it but my disciple Mr Ace aka Sura d tailor, with shiny suit sewn with kitchen foil alias I go Rough n Tough with ma Afro Puffs! They follow ma every comment on this blog like no other got to read be4 I cld make adjustments..

      I Join u in the praise :p
      Infact u can check ur fellow Kinsman down below wey put season instead of ceasing. E fit be u sef for all I knw..

      Delete
    7. @Ace: Lol@ God of Pope Francis1 and Fr. Mbaka

      Delete
    8. Anonymous6/07/2013

      @Fabulousity, what on earth is wrong with "pray without season"
      Doesn't it mean that one should pray irrespective of season, be it rain or shine?

      You are a complete fool, one that could have been flushed off as common period. You just succeeded in fooling your self in all fronts.

      You wrote all these silly stuff up here and went down to correct some1.

      You are just a low life negro

      Delete
    9. Lmaooo! Attention seeking mission, completed! My fellow bored Nigerians, that take everything they read on the internet seriously, lmaooo! Filled with so much hate, dem don dey even check ma profile, I don get views now now hahahhahahhaha!

      If u like take all d crap av written seriously, and kill urselves with high bp, na una sabi! Moi just catching ma cruise..

      On a serious note tho, I just thot about peeps like Prince Jobless on LIB, whose comments I believe are not his true opinions, but these ma fellow country people, go carry am 4 head and keep giving him unnecessary attention.

      Lesson 4 u guyz dat kept responding 2 ma hulabaloo, do u fink all the other peeps dat commented after me didn't notice my comments?? I've been on this blog ryt frm when Aunty Eya posted Bonarios pics yet I don't make comments 4 d sake of it, especially when wise ones like Ahdaisy , Bonario, and ma switrat Ace Bentley hehehehe have addressed the matter in the most amazing ways.. Its either u add sensibly 2 what they have said or u concur with points they have made so that the peeps who need ur help n advice can know what side the majority sways towards. But na lie na so so dissing of others and making the comments section entirely different from the post..

      @Ace , ma deepest apologies, just tryna experience what it feels like to be the villain *ashamed much* at ur expense! On ma knees wailing forgivvveeee meee! And others too.

      Abeg o! Am not like this in real life! Am tha sweetest lil angel u can ever imagine *batting eyelashes*.. Buh I wnt lie a secret side of me enjoyed the fame while it lasted *grin*..

      Let's learn to ignore people that deliberately look for trouble for all u know they r just catching their cruise, not to say that there aren't weirdos out there that seriously mean all that BS, scary to fink that there r peeps like dt.

      Love u guys, and luv ds blog like crazyyy! Let's stop tha hating and the unnecessary negative vibes. God bless , teddy hugz! Switdrims :*

      Delete
  9. Anonymous6/07/2013

    Pray about it.Try talking 2him again and mayb u shild involve a third party like extended families,pastors.He swore an oath to have only u 4eva.Pray seriously against that lady bcos if she says no,there's abslutely nothing ur hubby can do,but above all take heart and don't have high blood pressure but try 2bthere 4ur children and don't mistakenly pack out of ur matrimonial home.Start looking for business to do dis tym around cos nothing is ever too late.
    ADEYANJU

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  10. oyinkan6/07/2013

    Hmmmmmmm It is well.

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  11. Wishin Ʊ can find d girl through a private investigator and talk sense 2 her....if possible harm her...or better still jazz ur husband.

    My 2cents

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  12. Johnson6/07/2013

    Let your children know what is happening – they should be matured enough to talk to their father. The talk should be centered on the implication of marrying a younger lady. I can bet that this babe is already pregnant for your husband.
    PRAY – there might be more to it than you can imagine, especially if it’s the same mistress he’s being seeing. It’s easier to deal with married men having plenty flings than hanging out with one babe. The babe fit dey waka spiritual places.
    Prayer Point 1: Anybodi wey dey waka for me and my husband, dem go waka lost, in Jesus name.
    Prayer Point 2: Anybodi wey dey go from native doctor to native doctor for my sake, dem go waka lost, in Jesus name.
    Prayer Point 3: Anybodi wey dey call my name for shrine, dem go waka lost, in Jesus name.
    Prayer Point 4: Father, create enemity between my husband and any strange woman trying to come between us, in Jesus name.
    God is the only one that can bring succor in this matter – put your trust in Him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahhhh Mr Johnson oo e reach for u to open prayer ministry, this kain prayer bullets. Dear poster, other bloggers have said it all pray pray n pray. Pls married women frm d 1st day u notice that ur husband is cheating or even if he is not, pray for him againt night walkers, pray for him against marine spirit, pray for him and seek Gods protection unpon his environment. The truth is most of this ladies go to diff native doctor to get stuff even before dey approach a man, and once dey get him dey get more jazz n hold him till he marries dem n forgets his family. Its never too late or early to start praying and taking charge of our husbands, the days are truly evil. May God keep our homes.

      Delete
  13. Anonymous6/07/2013

    Prayer is d onli answer..tuk to God.tel him to turn dat strange woman's counsel into foolishness. .pray dat God's fire shud come down nd burn dat thing between them into ashes...pray dat she shud find her nd nyoda strange woman repulsive to his manhood..let dat manhood receive fire nd sancification.
    Pray that she wil nt know peace until she lets ur husband go nd pray dat ur husband knows no peace until he comes bck home
    Pray that ny strange woman dat wants to destroy ur home let dem receive d fire of God nd demonic loss of memory. .dnt pity d wicked ohhh..pray for ur home nd marriage .dnt fear.i believe d lord wil seize his heart nd give u peace

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous6/07/2013

    Pray without season try n track d gal n cut ha srz warning also involve elderly family member dat u trust in2 dis mata

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Weather forecaster na serious pray without season.. Seasons greetings 2 u.. Loool!
      U and Ace have somfin in common .. Geniuses .. Una brains fit replace similar words anyhow.. lmaoooo!
      Its "ceasing" boo..

      Aww u didn't have to go all the way to get me a thank u card! How sweet! *hugz*

      (Luv being silly lyk ds, cos I wan help all those frustrated peeps for this blog wey fit insult and curse a dead man in his grave sef.. So am helping u guys to release all the stress .. Oya venttt! Diss! Bring it on!! Release thyself from all the tension, frustration and depression! Relieving innit?).. Xoxo

      Delete
    2. Anonymous6/07/2013

      Fabulousity or whatever you are called.....after praising God up there, u come down here to do this. Smh for you. Confused soul!

      Delete
    3. @Mr or Mrs Nobody,Anonymous, Casper, holier than thou, Supreme court judge of the fed rep of Nig Or whatever u are, Did I say I was a saint? Or perfect?

      Accuser of the brethren ... Looooool
      Shake head till judgment day na u sabi

      Delete
    4. Anonymous6/07/2013

      Fabulousidiot.. You are the main holier than thou in this. This guy is absolutely correct. I see you as smone who get's her happiness from trying to bring people down.


      You are looking for the spec in other peoples eye and your own eye is lodged with logs. Get a life idiot.

      Delete
  15. Anonymous6/07/2013

    The bible says whatsoever u bound on earth is bound in heaven and whatsoever u loose on earth is loose in heaven, also as u speak into my ears so will i do it. Mrs Poster, pls don't keep quiet,speak to God abt it. Pray that God will loose the grip that lady has on ur husband. I believe He will hear u. Don't think too much,know that u have ur children to take care of.

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  16. Anonymous6/07/2013

    this na small thing where my parents issue dey. This is just d preamble of my story. Hmmm. Story for anoda day biko.

    Just pray. Dat's all

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  17. Anonymous6/07/2013

    Hmmmmm, see, if u knw any good church eh, RUN there! This one pass normal prayers oh! Some one wants to reap where they did not sow! May she run mad there. Wher wz she wen u started frm sctrach with him eh? After 20 years? Choi, men are wicked sha. You can't pray alone on this one. It is well with you, we will pray along with u even if we dnt knw u

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  18. Anonymous6/07/2013

    Did u sleep wit any married man wen u wia single? Nemesis maybe!

    ReplyDelete
  19. My dear, pls pray like they have said but also dnt let urself be blindsided again! As you have been long married and all, I dnt advice you seek divorce cos you may lose on all grounds. Pls, just take him as a stranger for now and do all you can to secure ur future further. No cutting corners, no pity. Dnt walk around on egg shells cos what you feared the most has come upon you.

    So as you pray, work! It's never too late. Do it codedly so that he doesn't cut you off. I dnt believe in praying against the girl. No man can be snatched without his permission. In fact na them dey find wetin them dey get! You see an old married man on the road, following a young girl up and down like flies on cow. Why dem no go give them chop? So ur husband is not under any spell. His eyes are clear. All the while you were keeping quiet, you should have been praying against all this and confessing that you will never lose what you suffered and endured for.

    But not to worry. God will make all things beautiful for you. Ur husband will be the one to beg you for forgiveness. In Jesus' name , Amen.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous6/07/2013

    Madam poster pls dnt go and meet d girl ooo bcos after dis prayer she might be attack by d holy spirit. face ur husby and d girl with serious night vigil and dry fasting It works trust GOD.

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  21. Prayer is the key here and patience on your part in the sense that you shouldn't have unnecessary confrontations that would degenerate into something else that might be to your detriment.

    Just "sidon" dey look him but dey fire hot prayers dey go! Abeg, be in your birthday suit at night and pray. The kingdom of Heaven suffereth violence and the violent taketh it by force! Don't allow any woman to reap what you have sown.

    If you didn't do such to another woman when you were single, then tell GOD such shouldn't happen to you; you can reap what you didn't sow.

    Use your marriage oath as a reminder to GOD who witness your joining as husband and wife. GOD doesn't take oath/covenant/solemn promise and pledge lightly.

    If you still have your wedding programme, please take time to read the vows part again and do a flash back to when you both go married. Then ask GOD to make that vow begin to have meaning in your live, that of your husband and marriage.

    I wish you well.

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  22. Yes they have said it all, Prayers!

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  23. In addition to praying,please let things be. Dont WORRY so much else you will be become hypertensive and/or in addition to other complications. When that happens and events finally turn around, you would wish you had let things be.

    The only gift that will unravel things is LIFE and should God grant you that, you would live to be comforted

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  24. Dear poster, there's nothing that you are suffering now that you haven't been going through for so many years now. It's just that you felt that no matter what he does it wouldn't never get to the extent of him trying to marry any of these girls, perhaps.

    The girl in question isn't the problem. Your husband has always been the problem.

    Don't tell yourself that you can't compete. Don't even tell yourself that you are competing. If it was a matter of competition, YES YOU CAN, cos the Lord your God is mighty in battle. He makes a way where there seems to be no way.

    You are in a war fare. The battle did not start when he started making plans to marry this girl. It started long ago, just that you had not risen up to the occasion to realise what you were already in.

    Just remember that the Lord will fight for you and you shall hold your peace, the Egyptians you see today, you shall see them no more. Keep confessing this and using it to pray as you follow all of the other advice given.

    God bless your home...

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  25. anon 8.04 u right..besides where ur husband ffrom?hope not one of these food communitty on P.H

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  26. anon 8.04 u right..besides where ur husband ffrom?hope not one of these good communitty in P.H

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  27. Sometime ago somebody asked me , what will u do if yr husband told u dat he want to marry another wife? And i said my answer wud be go ahead. Do u know y? If he is just saying it now he has already done it, and av found out dat nobody is worth dying for, i love u, i love u Remember God is going to judge everyone . I will try my best and leave the rest for God. If u ar going to pray till Jesus comes bcos of yr husband then wen ar u going to sing praises and thanksgiving to Him? Somebody is saying harm d girl and charm yr husband or his dick. Will u be able to stand b4 d judgement throne of Christ to say dat u killed bcos of yr husband? Dat doesn't mean dat i support d girl , i don't. But don't throw away yrself bcos of a second wife. I will implore u to go closer to God so dat peace will reign in yr heart so dat u will be able to carry on.

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  28. MrsAjaryee6/10/2013

    I was deeply touched by your story considering where you guys are coming from and it beats my imagination why men do this? Why wait until now? He feels he has arrived abi? U no longer fit his kind or what? If there is any legal action that can be taken against him to make sure the wedding does not take place pls go ahead (I assume you were legally married to him and you are not divorced yet). I know is nt going to be easy sitting down watching what you have toiled for 20yrs; but whatever the case; keep your head strong, take care of your children, in as much as he doesn't fail in his responsibilities, you have gone too far to allow one ngbeke make u loose ur head, be in charge and don't forget your God

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  29. Anonymous6/11/2013

    I understand ur pain ma,d young gurl is not 2 b blamed in a way cos most men ar rily gud @ constructin lies n who knos d kind of situation d young gurl is facin,am not justifyin ha actions plsss.I advice u hand everytin over 2 God ,he wil neva desert u,b holy ,hurt no 1 n I can assure u dat God wil fight 4 u.Also try 2 kip ur self busy so u wil tink less of d situation.

    ReplyDelete

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