I Want To Change, I Need Advice

Dear esteemed readers, this one is from me Eya. I need you guys advice cos I have tried unsuccessfully to help myself out. I have a bad habit that needs to change, have prayed about it and I feel still need you guys' wise counsel.

This thing has been with me and I know it's wrong but can't change. I always say here that I don't like confrontations but haven't really explained myself. I grew up like this kind of person
that won't confront, won't exchange words with those who hurt me, won't shout or scream but will excellently AVOID them.

When people hurt me, all I do is try to protect myself from these people and how do I do this? By doing my best to avoid meeting them anywhere. If I bump into them, I don't get angry, we still talk and all BUT, I won't let that meeting happen. I change routes, change shops, change markets and things to make myself unavailable to ''that person." even if given the opportunity to, I won't revenge, I won't even wish them bad but I just can't bring myself to meet the person that has really hurt me. I know that sometimes we hurt other people's feelings unconsciously, people also do it unconsciously but, I can't bring myself to believe that An adult won't know when she is hurting another with her words and actions.

This instance is not the first but, it's the most recent: 
I have a close neighbour and friend, we used to be this close that when she visits and leaves, my husband's first question w'd be "for how long have you two been gossiping us your husbands?"  And he is right. We do it. We gossip on mine and her husband and laugh and laugh, it's so much fun. 

Her daughter is a very close friend of my girls, when they come for the holiday and she visits or they visit her, these kids can sit the whole day comparing their different schools and talking about experiences at school. They exchange reading books and compete who reads faster and so on.

Now, my kids always resume before her cos they also vacate earlier than her school. When my children leave and I see this pretty girl, I don't know, but, it calms me, it feels like I'm still seeing my children around, so, I try to get her some gifts before she leaves. I try to pick toiletries that my girls like and again, because my children's school doesn't allow provisions from home, while hers allows, I try to get them for her since I can't give to my children.

 Most times, I don't even know when she is leaving cos she is this very shy, quiet type and I like it. I do this for my girls and because it makes me happy, and, I like the way she loves the things I get her cos their religion is different, her mom is very conservative. Because of her lifestyle, I feel she won't have time for, like, getting a child those nice things that girls like, things like lovely inexpensive sprays and deodorants and other girly stuff so, I get them ( Maybe this is wrong, but they loved it). These items are just to add to what she gets from her parents. I see my gifts as a bit of wants and a little luxury away from home, knowing that her parents will get to provide what she needs.

Schools resumed in May, as usual, my girls left before her and her scarce presence was fun to me. I heard she was about to leave, so I went shopping,  got a few toiletries and some nice things my girls picked for themselves for her too. Because they are friends, I figured out she will also love those items. 

Well, when I went to drop these items was a time of the day her parents were not supposed to be at home. I passed by their gate and thought " Oh well, since I have her bag with me, and she is always at home, it's good I drop it at once so I don't have to go out when I should be busy at home or resting. I stopped and gave her the items. 

While leaving, I delayed outside their gate,  can't remember what delayed me a bit. Then, my friend (her mum) suddenly comes out and I'm like "Oh, I didn't know you were in, I stopped by to give ........ a few things since she is leaving this weekend." Do you guys know that while I am still talking, she just continued moving and just hums a low "Thank you" to me.

Not only did she hum that thank you, her whole attitude made me uncomfortable. OK, I came with a gift that just arrived that same day and I was test driving it. She knows all my "items" and knows this is something she never saw me with. Besides, because of excitement, I refused to tear off even the leather and was test driving like that. Normally, she would scream and open the door and congratulate me and even ask if hubby was around to come thank him. But, She looked at the ride and quickly turned her face the other way.

I was shocked at myself, because I think it was supposed to feel angry or bad, but instead, you know what I felt? ##Embarrassment. I don't know if I gave her daughter items her religion doesn't permit, I don't know if she just didn't like that I gave her daughter. But normally, she would come looking for me to thank and her husband too would thank my husband who may not even be aware that I gave anything to their child. I don't know if the sight of "my new gift" put her off or she was not in a good mood at that moment.

What I know is that after that day, it's over one month now,and these are like next door family friends. I have successfully made myself unavailable and may continue that way until we move cos I'm getting ready to move house. This is not the first time I avoid someone this much. *Not that she has made any effort to see me anyway.

Sometimes, I avoid until we lose contact, it's that bad. Like, as it is, when I'm moving, I won't let her know and that may be the end.  I was deeply hurt by her action and  if we bump into ourselves, I will greet and talk without any pain or anger BUT I can't make a meeting happen. 

Am I possessed or what? Why can't I just try to meet people who hurt me. I know this might sound petty to some people, especially the men on the blog but it's serious to me. I think I need help. I want to know how to overcome this. When I really want to avoid someone, it's bad cause s/he may never bump into me sef. I need your helpful advice please guys. Sorry about the long post, I couldn't cut it short.

*Pls, nothing I gave that her parents can't afford many times over. I am not better than them in any way. I didn't give to help nor out of pity, no, no, no.

Comments

  1. Anonymous6/21/2013

    aaaarghh! too long joor! sorry no comment.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ma Eya I've been there till my College years. It was so bad I missed lectures coz of a girl who found my own trouble.
    One day I stood up stack naked before my room mirror and I said to myself "Everything in her body as a woman is here too, maybe her's will be bigger but am not lacking in anyway. Atleast am calmer and intelligent so Enough is Enough". I was dying of fear inside me but I went to school the following day, passed her without greeting and when she called she said "Ah Debbie you passed and said nothing to me? You don get mind ba?", imagine o I just hissed and passed and that ended the bully.
    My advice, you can't continue to runaway from people like that coz people will continue to mess on your track till thy kingdom come. In this case, the best thing would be to go over her place the following day since you know she's a conservative, atleast you have the right to know what you did wrong so you don't repeat it next time with her or someone else.
    Please stampede that fear and learn to dig it out(not fight o) with people when they come this way, sulking is cowardice.
    You can confide in hubby and work as a team
    *humph, type much?*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hubby doesn't understand cos nothing ever hurts or pains him. He is my opposite.

      Delete
    2. Thanks Debbie, but you know women, if I ask, she might say nothing is wrong when actually there's something.

      Delete
    3. Aunt Eya pls don't assume Wat she would or wouldn't say. I think u should approach her and ask Wat u did wrong. She might even be reading meanings to ur avoiding her. So I would advice u face ur fear

      Delete
    4. I go with Ada. Just swallow the pain and go. Surprisingly it might be her own personal issues that's bothering her,you never can tell. For the sake of friendship and all its worth please go over to her and insist she tells you what's wrong.
      Tell her you value her friendship and person and can't afford to lose it for anything unnecessary. Even when she says nothing, insist and tell her you aint leaving till she tells you what the matter is. Sometimes we lose to gain. Go for it and tell us later how it went

      Delete
  3. Most tyms, I wish I cld b lyk u n avoid confrontin som1. Anyways, confrontation is gud bcos den u won't carry grudges lyk u wld do if u dnt confront hueva hurts u.N u knw dt keepin grudges is a sin o. So jst mak up ur mind nt 2 let peo hu hurt u stil tak u 2 hell.lwkmd. Dats 2:0, imagine. So dnt avoid peo tak d bulls by d horn so u can hv a clear mind. Seee ya in heaven

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous6/21/2013

    1st of all..go down low..lol, sorry I had to say that. Ok back to bznez.
    Eya that attitude of yours is so extreme. From what you said, I see nothing wrong in what the lady did. She said 'thank you' quietly and didn't scream and dance cos of your gifts. Its almost like the reason y you gift d girl is just to receive praises, to make yourself feel better. I bliv since her reaction was different, you should hav bn a good friend and asked her what the matter is. Something serious might hav happened for her to behave that way. You avoiding her was so unnecessary. This shows that you don't keep friends for long. Once they upset you, u AVOID them.
    And why on earth would you buy toiletories for a girl that has parents who are capable enough to cater to her needs. I hav never ever in my life heard anyone doing such. If they don't buy her sprays cos of their religion, then you hav no right whatsoeva to buy those for her.
    Giving the girl gifts in the absence of her parents is WRONG. So wrong EYA.
    It shows you think you are above them.
    If you want to gift the girl, let it be ristricted to bdays or other celebrations.
    Eya, all you need to do to break this habit is to settle arguments with your friends instead of avoiding them. Stop throwing good friends away. You are not better than them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I buy toiletries for my friend's daughter and don't think there is nothing wrong with that. I am a woman too, what makes it wrong for me to give a pack of nice toiletries to a boarding child to enjoy at school. IMO, nothing wrong. My friend likes it, her daughter too.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous6/21/2013

      I quit agree with this comment. Nothing else to add.

      Delete
    3. Sweetie, first of all she asked for ADVICE cos she knows avoiding pple d way she does isn't a proper way 2 handle conflicts...
      2ndly,she explained y she went to d house @ d time she did to deliver the gift and as human was hurt @ d friends rxn and confused cos she doesn't know if its because of the gift(which from her post isn't d first time) or her new car that gave rise 2 her friends rxn (cos d friend might be feeling funny being dat they tell each other a lot of things and she was just seeing d new car).

      ..Aunty please always try to talk to ur friends when they hurt u, it will help you let go of hurts easily and forgive..

      Delete

  5. Going by how close you guys were, I think you should summon up courage, walk up to her and explain to her that you found her behaviour rather bizzare and would like to know if she was offended by anything you did.

    Give her a chance to explain and you'd be surprised by what she has to say.

    I am also a person who shies away from confrontations but in the case of a relationship that is as close as the one you've just described, I think its worth sacrificing your natural inclinations to save it. You'd also be setting a good examples for the girls who'd very likely sense the strained relationship when they get back from school.

    If you can't talk to her in person, you can give her a call or ping her, but DO GET IN TOUCH WITH HER!!! OK?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous6/21/2013

    Aunty Eya there are lots of people like that especially women who feel jealous at the sight of any achievement or progress made by their friends. for me there is no point calling her, if truly she is ur friend n does not above jealousy and envy in her heart towards u, she would ave called. My candid advice is that u mind ur own business and be careful to divulge family or personal matters to friends especially neighbours majority of them are usually too envious.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous6/21/2013

    Tooooooo long! Aaargh.
    I'll just say you that which you fear most is what you should do. Meet ppl that hurt you and express yourself to them,that way you'll be freer than making efforts to avoid them.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous6/21/2013

    @anon 12.03 u r so foolish n insensitive. Gv constructive criticisms. Nt running ur mouth like a loose bowel.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Mz Tee6/21/2013

    First of all, I understand your not being confrontational. There are ppl like that. But d extreme avoidance is what u really want to deal with. U have to keep talking to your spirit abt that. Like in your neighbour's case, try meeting wt her. As a mum, I know it's wrong for u to gift anyone's child without d parents. Even if u wanted to give her something, it's her mum u wd give to give her. She as a woman would also have friends who she might confide in and they'd mess up her mind on ur intention for the gift. So on your neighbour's case, u shld meet wt her. As for d extreme avoidance, work on it. U can do it, difficult but u can. Ps, don't always expect ppl to be happy at your success. And maybe she wanted to express her disgust at you on d gift issue, so she extended it to not congratulating u on d car, doesn't mean she was jealous though. My two cents.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous6/21/2013

    I share your plight here cause i lived like that too but gradually am overcoming that now by trying to be more assertive not confrontational but in my opinion your best bet is to approach this friend of yours and let her know how you feel about her behaviour it dosnt hav to be a confrontational approach maybe u can weigh d various options of how best to convey ur feelings to her in ur mind first b/4 meeting her. sometimes people act out of a misunderstanding of other peoples intentions. So u can let her know ur reasons for giving her girl a gift probably not to show she cudnt provide better for her child. You know she could have felt u were trying to show off ur wealth. just my thought

    ReplyDelete
  11. Aunty Eya if u value ur friendship with this woman as well as ur daughters friendship with her daughter I see nothing wrong in going to see her or when u bump into each other or phone her and ask y she reacted that way. There might be good reasons for her action either cultural, religious or moral.
    You do not need to banter words with her afterall you are friends and its just a clarification of the way she behaved. I'm sure she'll explain whatever it is to you and you both will reason with each other.
    Please do this fast before you leave the neighbourhood and let us know the outcome of it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous6/21/2013

    My first thought to all her reaction was jealousy, but again, I think it's not.
    Aunty Eya, you are a good person and its good to show love to others, but people's interpretation differ. Your constant gifts to Fatimah, might make her mother feel inadequate, not like she is not providing for her daughter, but that feeling of being pitied/ helped ( this has to with ego and not pride). And giving her gifts all the time makes her parents thank you always!

    I'd advice you limit the gifts and speak to you friend about this, stating your intentions clearly.

    About avoiding confrontation, I also don't like confrontation, but I confront when necessary else people would take me for granted.

    I hope this helps.

    ... Pj

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/21/2013

      I hope she doesn't read your blog and see this story , she might not like it. I'd advice you still talk to her and sort everything out.
      ... Pj

      Delete
    2. Anonymous6/21/2013

      Pj, now we know you personally know Aunty Eya...so next time, don't mention names especially when the poster didn't do so!

      Delete
    3. Anonymous6/21/2013

      Anon 2:19,
      Maybe you need help with reading this part of her post : "Then, my friend (her mum) suddenly comes out and I'm like "Oh, I didn't know you were in, I stopped by to give Fatima a few things since she is leaving this weekend."
      ... Pj

      Delete
    4. Anonymous6/21/2013

      No, we missed that part,where the name was mentioned! What we see is, ..........! Unless that part was later edited out!!!

      Delete
    5. Anonymous6/21/2013

      At the time Of my reply to you, her name was still up, maybe Aunty Eya later corrected, not my fault though!
      ... Pj

      Delete
  13. Eya this is too long oooo. I really don't see anything here oo, thou its naturally between we ladies to get jealous or envy what we don't have and that's why she puts up an attitude and here you are also replying back with an attitude as well by avoiding her which is confronting already. What is confrontation? This character is what will take many to hell,because they want to be pictured as good,quite and not troublesome. You are better call her,know what her problem is, and free your mind and define your friendship afterward. Wish you luck. Eya i need lunch your address abeg,describe from Maitama..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol @ u need lunch. Aunty Eya are u giving out free lunches? Oya lemme start informing people.

      Delete
    2. Anty Eya I need dinner, pls describe location frm wuse2! Dis blog oooooo lmao

      Delete
    3. Anonymous6/21/2013

      I need brunch, describe location from Asokoro.

      Delete
    4. I need long-throat food. Describe location from PH...

      Delete
    5. Aunty Eya, me I'm hungry for crunchy snails, describe location from VI...

      Delete
    6. Jazmyn6/21/2013

      Aunty Eya ooooo, I need light dinner, describe from Yankee City.

      Delete
    7. Una too funny for dis blog! lolz
      me sef i dinner hehehe!!

      Delete
  14. candid diva6/21/2013

    Oluwatosin dearie,you need to work on your english please! Haba! I find it painful to read your comments most times. I honestly don't mean it as an insult o. Just couldn't stop myself from talking about it,I know its not my business.
    @ Eya,please confront the lady. It might just be that she was having some issues that day. It will surprise you that she's bitter at you right now because she feels you're a bad friend that couldn't even ask what was wrong with her.
    From your post,I think I detect that you feel she was envious cos of your new ride. It might not be o. If you continue like this,you'll keep throwing good friendships away.
    Also imagine how your kids will feel when their mums are not even talking anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Aunty Eya from ur story this is not the first time u've given gifts to the young girl (though I agree that any gifts should go thru her parents), and according to you she has been happy for you in the past when you got nice things, so I think there is something else going on here.

    I would have just called her out there and then, "Girl what's up with u!", kinda thing.

    Sometimes confrontation is good, but sometimes esp when I no longer wish to continue a relationship, I just let things fizzle out quietly.

    Either way, don't go out of ur way to avoid anybody.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous6/21/2013

    Aunty eya, I had this attitude to the extent that I separated from my best friend for 1yr 7mths( we've been friends for 11yrs) cos I thought she was jealous of me etc(long story) and people had to intervene including my sweet mum n we got back together and when we confronted ourselves, it was just misunderstanding from our thoughts. The issue is I think you should talk to your friend. I tell you, many people would be happy you and your friend are not together, but peace is always better than imaginary quarrels. You can do it. You two might even turn out better than before like my best friend and I.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Well, most parents have a parenting style, dos and donts for their children and you must have infringed on them. If you have any gift for her daughter, the proper thing to do would be to either give it to the mom or give it to the daughter in the presence of the mom. If her mon has refused to buy her those stuffs, she has a reason and regardless of your opinion, you should respect it. You gifting her those things could cause a 'aunty eya is cool, mom is not' attitude in the daughter. Any sane mom would react the same way this lady has.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous6/21/2013

    I confess, I am also a victim of this attitude, but, by the grace of God and my determination to be free from it, i actually succeeded. one thing I will say is, you don't make a good friend with such attitude, I think the best you should have done was to get close to her and find out the reason for such reaction, who knows she might have other things bothering her which at that time your help/care would have been needful.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Jamila6/21/2013

    i don't knw y i can't comment back. Bt d issue of ur friend has nting
    to do wit religion coz my family ve been friends wit xtian family who
    r our neigbor n just d way u did to hr dota dat's how they d6 to us.
    May be she envy coz u ve a nw ride. Pls confront hr u knw abj thin

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hello Aunty Eya, lots of people try to avoid confrontations if they have to but i don’t think you handled this matter well. you mentioned that it was unusual for her to be at home @ that time....there are lots of what ifs you can’t find answers to unless u speak with her about your feelings. What if she's having a few challenges? What if she lost her job? (If she works) what if she just had an argument with her hubby? What if a family member is ill or hospitalised.....? I’m not trying to justify why she behaved that way but lots of things can make people behave the way she did. Some people are not very good at separating their problems from their relationship with others, they sort of transfer aggression to other people. If she is truly your friend you should seek to find out why she behaved that way instead of ignoring and avoiding her. IMO, that attitude is not Christ-like.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Aunty Eya, I also avoid confrontations at all cost. I have friends that I have never quarreled with or exchanged words with and our friendship is going to 13 years. Most of my friends have had confrontations and issues with our mutual friends but I always avoid confrontation. I just agree with people when I sense dat my disagreeing might cause problems.

    When I got married, my hub kicked against it, he said it shows I can't stand my ground or let everyone know who I am or what I stand for. I still avoid confrontations but I also try to disagree with ppl nicely. It's only on ur blog that I can show myself very well..lol... Part of the reason is that I am better at writing my thoughts than saying them. The good thing is that people generally see you as a very nice person who can't hurt a fly. So they tend to be more willing to do things for you, even when you dnt ask....

    I think you should talk to ur friend and see what she has to say...even if she lies. About how to stop avoiding confrontation, pls tell me when you've found a good solution.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too o!
      i write more than i talk, when am angry i just do hubby a long email lolz

      Delete
  22. HotGeh6/21/2013

    I think ur reaction was shallow. Did u stop to think that something might be wrong on her end? Atleast she said thank you and as you said, its not her normal reaction. You think she hurt you? No you hurt her, and she probably avoids people that hurt her 2. Cos if you don't care to find out when something is wrong, why are u friends? Learn not to think that everything is about you. You don't know what might have happened before you arrived...

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous6/21/2013

    Aunty Eya,congrats on your new ride o (maka na ana-ekwu onwa,ana ekwu ibe ya). We go wash am o with a new oyibo recipe:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/21/2013

      Did you read where she said this issue happened since May? No be today o, e don tay. e don old already sef.#HidingUnderTheBed

      Delete
  24. Johnson6/21/2013

    Aunty Eya... abeg use pidgin (anything informal) to talk to this friend; e.g. “sister wetin happen dat day wey I com give ya girl something for school. If no bi say I know you, I for say you no dey happi with something wey I do…” You might be surprised that she just happened to be in a bad mood that day - u can't tell what is going on in someone else’s mind.
    Not being confrontation could be a strength or/and weakness. You just need to discern when… ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.

    ReplyDelete
  25. anty eya just get a suitable time that she will be at home, drop by and talk to her as if nothing really happened, then ask how far what happen that period. dont make it confrontational but like a casual discussion, just put yourself to test and do this, you can then conquer all.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Aunty Eya, how market? Just to chip in a little, I'll number the points. *silently praying* "Spirit of epistle, Maintain ya sef!!!"

    1. You can't keep someone as a friend, 'fiend', partner, spouse, family, neighbour or colleague and not have moments of 'misunderstanding'. You see her as 'guilty', she too is probably seeing you as 'guilty'. It's all a MISUNDERSTANDING.

    2. If you don't learn to start confronting, you will only succeed in holding a grudge and keeping malice. You know this!

    3. You don't know why she reacted that way. As Hotgeh said, it's not always about you. You should have asked her then and there if everything was okay. But what happened afterwards, you 'assumed' without hearing her side of the story.

    4. If you want to get someone's kid a gift, best get it and give it to the parent to give it to her or give it in the parent's presence. Honestly speaking, if this narration was a Nollywood movie, I'd have said the 'Eya' character was up to something. Lol. You know many 9ja peeps have watched so many Nollywood voodoo movies na. So, no matter how good you are, just play 'safe' oh. So that no one will try to turn it to a bad thing (courtesy of what they saw on one home video).

    5. Call your friend up, tell her exactly how you feel. Give her a chance to speak. Let it not be a war-like confrontation , but rather, you trying to 'iron things out' and hear her side of the story.

    You see what 'not having confrontations' does to people? Let me explain for people that are like this and don't do confrontations:

    6. Even if you have been friends for 50 years with a person but avoid confrontations, don't lie to yourself, you know that you still keep a grudge. You know that you made one or two decisions to not to tell or do certain things with that friend because of what u 'assumed' instead of confronting the person as regards the situation. You pile up 'offences' and keep saying 'we are best friends'. But hey, one day, just one day, you will explode out of the frustration of bottling things up.

    7. Most people in the 'association of peace makers' club tend to deceive themselves by saying "we hate confrontations". You say that cos you are scared that you will no longer look like a 'good and quiet, no wahala friend'. But Its a lie!
    If you really want to have a clean slate in your friendship, there must be confrontations, there must be 'I'm sorry', there must be 'I understand u now', 'I won't behave like this anymore' etc.

    But without a confrontation, you keep living a 'fake friendship'. Yes o, fake friendship. There's a difference between a real and a fake one. If it's devoid of misunderstandings, confrontations, 'I'm sorry' and all what not, it's fake! #Mytakesha.

    So my dears, you guys should imbibe the habit of 'asking/confronting' instead of 'assuming'. You'll save yourself lots of headaches. The type of headaches that lead to a full lengthy post and a lenghty epistle from JaY :-)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous6/21/2013

    Yeye jay, i don't know what to make of you sef.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/21/2013

      Nor mind her. She don take over d mantle of long posts from Ahdaisy jade. I just tire for her!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous6/22/2013

      You tire? We enjoy her meaningful long post wella:)

      Delete
    3. Anonymous6/22/2013

      @ Jay you make a lot of sense.

      Delete
  28. Anonymous6/21/2013

    I have a question before i give my view;
    why didn't the girl tell you her mummy was at home when you dropped the things?
    IMO,The mother felt insulted, so her cold reaction.
    You should have asked immediately, my friend hope no problem or is all well?

    ReplyDelete
  29. desire6/22/2013

    I think you should limit your gift giving to birthdays or something Major like the girl doing very well in her exams. The mum has a reason for not buying her those things since she could afford them. I would feel uncomfortable if someone keeps giving my daughter gifts behind me.
    I think you are the one @ fault here. If the woman did not congratulate you, must you start avoiding her? It shows your relationship is Superficial.Pls call her up on phone or chat and just tell her you are checking up on her. Am sure she's also wondering what went wrong and probably feeling Justified that there's more to the gift than meets the eyes cos after she caught you red handed, you withdrew from her.
    Lastly learn not to keep your neighbours as a very close friend except you've known each other before becoming neighbours.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Good morning guys. Thank you all for your comments. We learn everyday. I have learnt a lot from these comments. I never knew it's wrong to give to a friend's child without passing items through the parent. I'm truly sorry about that.I agree that was wrong.

    I plan on going to see her, when I do that, will surely let you all know how it went. Thank you. You all have been a blessing.
    May you also find honest answers to every issue bothering you, to that which is making you wet your pillow at night and to that which you do not know how to handle.
    God bless us all.
    Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  31. miss laura6/23/2013

    I can understand poster's reaction and its just pride. I'm like that too, I avoid confrontation, u mess with me I cut u off, the way I saw it, no one is indispensable. Such attitude is actually childish and selfish, I'll advise that u go over to ur friend and talk with her just like old times and bring up the issue as an afterthought. If a friend hurts u, let her know so u guys can talk it over, instead of losing a potentially beneficial relationship all because of pride. #justsaying.

    ReplyDelete

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