I Love You, Is It Necessary?

Hello Aunty Eya and everyone on wives connection blog. Thank you all for all the advice you give, even when the posts are not from me, I benefit a lot from the advice. My little confusion is in the area of love. Please I want to know what is in a man's mind, concerning vocalizing their love, how they reason when it comes to love. 

I am worried about my husband and myself. We have no issue, just normal challenges like every relationship and at the end of the day we pull through. I jokingly try to make him know
that he doesn't say he loves me but he dismisses it like it's not important. We are fine and learning too.

However, in all our 3 years together, I can't remember him saying " I love you" to me" Does it mean he doesn't love me? If he does, won't it be flowing freely from his mouth? Aunty Eya please help me post, it has been bothering me. I hate to think that my husband doesn't love me.

Comments

  1. Not really necessary to me. It's what's in the heart that matters. Afterall, anyone can say a fake I love you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Johnson6/23/2013

    Your hubby is a typical African man – finds it difficult to say ‘I LOVE YOU’. African men believe it is better to show it than say it – how wrong we are! The two should be mutually inclusive.
    We need help and the key is in your hands, ladies. You can help by saying it to him many times and have him reciprocate by saying it back. The more we practices - the better we get; and that way we would be able to say it to our kids, esp. daughters so that no man confuses them when they are grown without really meaning it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous6/23/2013

    you wan carey i love you go shoprite or you wan take am pay ticket to dubai? na wah oh. if the man dey give you better money you take solve problem then leave love matter for S S 3 girls

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/23/2013

      U wan console yourself abi? Bcos ur own husband no dey tell u. *rme*

      Delete
    2. Anonymous6/24/2013

      you people are funny. how do you know if the anon is married? you people are the ones overheating the polity in eya s blog

      Delete
  4. Anonymous6/23/2013

    Na wah o! How does "I love u" affect the price of brazillian hair? Abeg, he can keep the "I love u" as long as he's got enough dough to spend on me.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous6/23/2013

    B4 I got married I had to guys coming after me. Guy no1 use to sing love songs tell me he loved me all the time guy no2 didn't tell me he loved me all the time but did genuine tins 4 me like buy gifts 4 me on my bday,take me out n all. Guess who I married? Guy no2 n I'm glad I did. He doesn't hv to say I love u b4 u knw he does. My hubby looks @ me n I can see d love in his eyes, so my dear sayin I love u doesn't matter especially now dat ur already married.michgirl

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous6/23/2013

    Eya hope everything is well with you and your family...Wives connection blog has been very very dry these days..Please keep the fire burning..Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  7. Fyn Ijebu Chic6/23/2013

    ALl ye epistles writers, I give una homework, una refuse to tender abi?

    I dey wait for una!!!
    *sipping my hot moringa tea*

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous6/23/2013

    how wont it be dry when she is busy ass likin ordinary commenters. FYI anty eya is blog owner while other people re the ones calling the shots. she knows what i mean and the people know themselves. then she is busy deleting comments. somebody yabs a posters english and she is busy deleting it. she has unconsciously turned the blog to the taste of a few . a beg anty eya its better you have a mind of your own

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/23/2013

      seconded

      Delete
    2. Anonymous6/23/2013

      I agree. Deleting comments reduces d number of comments and there4 traffic. Letting ordinary faceless commenters decide how u shud run your blog is very laughable. These ppl influence you and if you keep listening to them, you blog will fade away. A word is enough for the wise.

      Delete
    3. Brandy6/23/2013

      There is nothing wrong with the blog. You can write and reply yourself a million time. Today is sunday and you think because one blogs she shouldn't rest and go to church??? I still enjoy my wives connection blog full time jare. Aunty Eya pls understand that these are all from one person trying to resume again but they don fail.

      This blog is funnnnnnn

      Delete
    4. Anon 8:28, are you a hater of Eya or a failed blogger? tell us because me i don't see what brought this talk to this post. People that derail comments like you are called TROLLS. continue seconding and thirding yourself. Keep on.

      I don't comment on blogs but ppl like you always make me comment against my wish.

      Delete
    5. Anonymous6/23/2013

      sharaap dia mumu. its people like you that want eya to fall but you will come out openly to voltronise her. people have every right to complain. its our blog. runs deceive n eya. and eya please stop ass lickn! IF you like delete my comment

      Delete
    6. Anonymous6/23/2013

      *STOP DECEIVING EYA*

      Delete
    7. You stop deceiving readers with your negativity.

      Delete
  9. Anonymous6/23/2013

    Yes ooo!gettn very dry!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous6/23/2013

    Saying I love you is necessary in my opinion, well to a certain extent. Not hearing it at all can sometimes make your partner wonder, even if your actions say so. Nigerian men have this bad habit of not saying I love u. I relate it to Ego!! There is nothing wrong with telling someone u love how much u do. However poster, its not a do or die thing really...u can survice without...or try saying it first and hear if he reciprocates

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous6/23/2013

    Eya wanted a blog wr Ppl cudnt express themselves how they wanted. She only wanted positivity and life doesn't work like that. Everyone's opinion can never be sugar coated. Now people are getting bored and leaving. Please where is sister ojare.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MissDee6/23/2013

      Clap for yaself, you negative energy spreader. You think everyday is the same eh? ppl have no other thing to do other than reading blogs even on a sunday? Incase you are idle, me am getting ready for work tomorow and this is my first time reading any blog today. SMH for u.

      Delete
    2. @anon 8:58,don't mind these boring people jare
      They should go to other blogs and see how its bubbling over there.msewwwwwww

      Delete
  12. MissDee6/23/2013

    Aunty Eya pls don't let any one spread negativity on this blog. Any comments that tries to run you down in anyway delete it and let's move forward with positivity.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Saying I love you is not really necessary in Africa. Our men are too full of themselves jor. Who cares? just give me what I need. Dazall

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous6/23/2013

    ur case is like d coffin maker who complains biz is bad.
    u both pray 4 couples 2 b having matrimonial problems & wash their dirty linens in public?
    educative posts attract few comments, but i-beat-my-husband-posts would attract epistle comments & cat fights.
    aunty-eya, shop around & copy & paste stories here, so as not to lose your readers.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous6/23/2013

    @ Poster,
    words are cheap.
    action speaks louder than words.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous6/23/2013

    Hey guyz, pls open and register, cool way to make money>>>>http://myreferjob.com/?ref=blondee

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous6/23/2013

    Hey, no there's nothing wrong with your husband and I assume he loves you dearly.I read a book called 'Love Languages' and it mentioned the different ways in which people show love. I bet he doesnt feel he needs to say it maybe there are other ways he shows his love. you just need to appreciate those other means and you can keep telling him you love him.

    ReplyDelete
  18. African men are wired in another dimension; most don't say I LOVE YOU but show it in their attitude, looks and actions.

    Does he say "I love you" in his attitude towards you? In the way he speaks and looks at you? Is he proud of you in the midst of families and friends? If yes, dear Mrs, coolu temper.

    But if you STILL want him to say it then the onus is on you. First by saying it to him and if you have started already, please intensify your effort. Remember the patient dog eats the fattest bone. Call, sms, email, send notes with "I LOVE YOU" ending it.

    If you want something, you've got to work to get it. I wish you well!

    ReplyDelete
  19. dear poster,teach him how to............before hanging up the phone after conversation your goodbyes should be 'love you',initially he would feel reluctant but press on!with time,you will see it flowing.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Some,especially African men,find it difficult expressing love in words but there are other ways to express love. You can say "You mean a great deal to me", "I am a better person because of you", You inspire me","You are amazing" ...

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous6/24/2013

    @poster nothin s wrong with ur hubby. Its just d way e s with u. Lemme assume e didn't say it b4 u got married(cus u didn't state weda e did or not) dunno why ur boderd abt it now. Think of new ways feel his luv without him sayin it.

    Av not b married for long(6mnth) buh I n hubby say d l word to each oda al d tym.I walk him to d door n make sure e kiss/peck mi on ma lips b4 leaving d house. I call it a have a nice day kiss. Dou somtyms I mite b busy n can't walk him to d door n wi stil k/p b4 e leaves d hse. I want to make dis lyk a bondin tradition(dunno what to call it) in our new family/home, thou I started dis b4 we got married wen eva I spend some days @ his hse, at first e was reluctant esp wen sum1els s n d hse buh wen e saw I was persistent e gave in. I pray God strengthen us to kip dis goin

    ReplyDelete

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