I Am Heartbroken And Going Lifebroken

Hello Aunty Eya! Please I need you to post this cos I need help urgently. I’m going Sucidal already. And please hide my identity. Thanks. I’ll Just Try and Make this Brief as possible.


I am a young girl in my early Twenties, I got a job somewhere September Last Year after I passed out from an affiliated schools where I did a National Diploma program. Before I started working, I passed through a lot
emotionally, physically, mentally and otherwise so this job came as a miracle and a testimony. 

But barely 2 months into my job, I got very close to My General Manager. He is young and single so am i. One thing led to the other and we started dating. Now note, he is not the owner of the company but a brother to the owner’s wife, so he is third in command after my overall boss and the wife. That aside, before I met this guy, I had been with a guy who stayed with me 4 years but couldn’t get into my legs.

 I was born into a very strict home so at the mention of sex, I run for my life. My ex was tired of waiting so he slept with my flat mate back in school and even got her pregnant. At that time I was able to move on cos my ex was in a different town so it was easy to cut communications. I stayed alone for almost 2 years after my ex till I met this guy. I didn’t stop to think because I so wanted to be in love and have a man to call mine.

 Barely 2months into the relationship, I gave my virginity to him (January 1st precisely) because I thought giving sex will keep him. But that turned out to be my biggest mistake. He gradually metamorphosed into an indescribable specie. I tried all I could but he always had excuses to treat me bad. On my birthday which was Valentine’s Day, he didn’t show up and never even got me a handkerchief. 

In between all this, at least before his change became evident, I had so many problems in the office with almost all my colleagues. And this was not because I am a bad person but because I am the youngest, and kinda shy, lack confidenceE.t.c . So every of my co- wokers tried to ride on me. This got to the notice of my boss and his wife and they did all they could to stand up for me and even suspended a lot of people for my sake but that didn’t help as they eventually got tired and I made so many enemies.

 I brought in the office gist because I felt this was responsible for his change…. I tried all I could to please everyone so they can like me and I could get back his heart but no way…. One thing is now we have broken up even though he always tried to stop me from walking away in time past. I just got tired of him insulting and talking me down at every opportunity, Telling me lies and shutting me out of his life, treating me like I was nobody and above all making me just a sex figure in his life.

 Now that we have broken up, I am so confused cos I don’t know which way forward. I am just making silly mistakes in my job, I see and I have to report to him everyday. If I quit this job, except by God’s Grace I may not be able to get another good one cos I’m not a gruaduate. How can I forget and let go of someone I see and work with everyday?

 I have made a mistake no doubt but where do I go from here?  He doesn’t give me trouble yet but I don’t know what to expect. I built my world around this guy and my job and now I feel like am  no where in this world. Everyone hates me at work, My mum and step dad don’t make coming home rosey

 I had no friends apart from him. I work everyday so I practically have no social life. I am living in a hopeless world. In my heart somewhere I wish there is something I can do to get his heart back cos I still love him but I don’t have a good reputation in this office cos everyone thinks am a coward and that isn’t helping. 

But somehow, I am willing to move on but how can i? I just wish I can take my life to end this whole drama.

 I’m just 21 and life is already this harsh. No family, No friends, No Love, No education, No Joy, Nothing to live for at all. Please Help me, Please help. 

The confusing thing is that he told me I was a girl any man will kill to have in his life and that I did nothing wrong but that he is just confused. I did everything and God Knows I never wronged him in any way. But I can’t place it. When he said he was confused I felt after the break up space he will think but I was wrong cos he has been acting all happy.

 I am Heartbroken and almost going Life Broken……. Please Don’t abuse me, I just poured out my Heart Cos I Need help.
Gift Peters

Comments

  1. Dear Poster, most of us have experienced heart break even worse that yours and we are still here many years after alive and well. You may be hurting right now but believe me one day it will all be a distant memory u probably will laugh at and tell ur daughters about.
    I suggest you look for another job which will give you room to heal and move on with your life. With time you will be just fine and meet someone that will treat you great and love you the way you deserve to be loved.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Pause...

    When the drama reaches climax that's all you should do... Pause!

    Think... A character like Ahdaisy's is enuff to give you hope! In my whole life, I've not seen a woman has strong as her, I have only read.

    I have not been really bashed on blogs but the few I've gotten brings down my spirit and moral. But in a few minute I write it off like a bad cheque bcos I just tell my self to move on... But for Ahdaisy that has been frequently and unjustly bashed nko? a lot of women even men can't take what she has endured here online, if this blog was her office she won't backdown for any reason or persons...


    Note: blog problem is not the only issue she faces in her daily life? Being here is an option, amidst all the negativity of bloging to her she still finds the strength to come back all the time.


    Negativity will always come in any strata of life you find urself... Mistakes are there so you can know when you are right, millions of girls had fall in and out of love don't ever think it's peculiar to you.

    As for the guy... The truth is that, HE ALREADY HAS A GIRL... Do you know that most guy's keep a girl they want to marry while they date other girls, if you are not that girl he will most def leave after sex... How did I know he has a real relationship hidden from you?
    He used the word: CONFUSED!


    Time is a healer...
    Like Anita Gass wrote "If God had answered all my prayers, I would have married the wrong man"

    Your man is ahead



    Nuff'Said!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. teerex6/13/2013

      God bless u. Sound counsel. I pray God blesses you with a woman after his heart and a true companion.

      Delete
    2. Amen & Tanx teerex, I'm honored...

      Delete
    3. Wow! Thanks Ace, your words are so so encouraging! When I saw you used me as example I thot, 'Ok! So I am not that terrible a person'...lol. Your advice is so on point and I love the last paragraph...

      Delete
    4. Bislondy6/14/2013

      Nice words Ace,I love the part where u explained the 'Confused' man. U r so right.

      Delete
    5. Anonymous6/14/2013

      @anon,y do u hate Ahdaisy so much?pls am just asking out of concern

      Delete
    6. Anonymous6/14/2013

      So d comments got to u sef
      U are a waste of space ahdaisy
      If I were u hmmm God forbid I can never be u,u know y cos u re a disgrace its obvious u control ur weak husband if not he would ve told u cool down for a while but u won't cool down cos d only thing that keep u alive is Eya's blog

      Delete
  3. peace_udo6/13/2013

    Don't lie down in ur past, dust urself n move on. While u are still working there, put in ur best into ur job, don't force urself on pple but b friendly. Keep reaching out for other jobs, God will help u get another, but don't make this same mistake of offering ur body. Sex n love are two different things. As difficult as it may be b nice to him, afterall he is ur boss for now. Take charge of ur emotions. U didn't give urself life so u don't have d right to take it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Every life has a PURPOSE. Your life has a PURPOSE. If there wasn't a need for you to be alive anymore, you'd have been gone. Life is a gift. Look up to God, the giver of life. Don't ever build your happiness around a person or people. Only God.

    1. If almost everyone doesn't like you at work, most likely, the problem is from you. People do not just connive to hate one person. Were you rubbing the fact that you were dating the GM on their faces? Are you a polite person? Are you nice? Do you help people when they seek your help? Or do you only look after just you? Are you rude? Are you respectful? Remember you are the youngest.

    2. The bible says that even if a righteous man should stumble and FALL, he doesn't stay down, he will RISE up. That's life for you. You fall many times, but you rise many times too. Only cowards give up when they have fallen.

    3. See these things as TESTs that would lead to a TESTimony when you overcome. Have you ever heard of a TESTimony that didn't have a TEST in it?

    4. Do you know God? What's your relationship with Him like? Jesus did not die for you to contemplate suicide. He said "It is finished". You don't need to do much, just ask God to come into your life, He said "come to me all ye that labour and are BURDENED and I will give you REST". Have you taken your load to him? Have you?

    5. I see no reason why you should quit this job. Common, there's a VICTOR and a VICTIM in every situation. Choose for yourself which you want to become. A victor or a victim?

    6. Instead of building your life around a man at age 21, build your life around God. Forget men for now. Work on yourself. Love yourself. Discover who you are. You haven't done that yet. You can't build your life around a man that isn't your husband.

    7. Do you go to church? Start doing that. Become active. Make friends there. If you have offended people at work, swallow your pride and apologise. Be respectful.

    8. Your boss is your boss. Leave it at what it is. Be PROFESSIONAL. No need crying over spilt milk. He only wanted the cookie. You were naïve. Get past the reality of it all. Don't add assault to injury. Get over it and rediscover yourself. Find out what truly makes you happy. P.S: It's not a man. You have to love yourself first before you can love another person. If not, it's lust.

    And by the way, you are still a girl any man would kill to have in his life. Your boss was right. But he's just not the man for you. Wait for the right person. But build your life around God not man.

    Don't say you CAN'T , cos you CAN. God loves you too much to see you sad and down. All the best....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/14/2013

      And pls don't ever go back to that guy because he does not deserve you!

      Delete
    2. Bislondy6/14/2013

      Jay mi Jay, u have said it all. I would just want to add this: dear poster, please consider furthering your education. It will help you more in your journey through life. Who knows if that's the reason GM is confused. All da best dear

      Delete
    3. Anonymous6/14/2013

      That first point should be for ahdaisy
      Aunty if u delete I paste anoda one.shikena

      Delete
  5. Wow,Ace u ave said it all.Poster as long as there's life,theres hope.
    No need commiting suicide,bcos on ur burial day,Godforbid!he will be chillin with another....my dear,everyone has bin thru heartbreak,am not an exception.but to God be the glory,i found TRUE LOVE,if the environs aint cool for ya,dust urself up n forge ahead.Like Ace said,he has gat options,so be wise Lady,n dont let any man make u tink of going suicidal,its not worth it.Ur still very young,things will fall into place @ the right time.U can still enroll for a professional course,or get admission to the university,gone are those days where we ladies,live entirely for men,u can be happy if u choose to be with or without a man...wsh u all the best in ur endeavours.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hello gift,i hope you'd be able to read my epistle,(my first try at a lengthy comment..thumbs up to jay and ada).first of all,you've to take off the suicidal thought,it's demonic,and will earn you a spot in HELL.

    Secondly,whatever it is u're going through someone must have passed through such and came out strong.i'm a testimony but mine never deteriorated to suicidal tots sha(i love my life gan ni.)

    Babes brace yourself,you're way too young to start feeling you can only derive joy from somebody, not to mention a guy.trust me cos av been there and knows what it feels like to be heart-broken by someone that used to be ur bestfriend. Infact in my case, i had to join one group online where i got tips daily on how to get over heartbreaks but that vacuum was never filled until i finally turned all of my burdens to Christ. i started attending church regularly (covers face)and thank God for the church i worship,we always always have motivating programmes to attend and since i don't have so much friends,the ones i had couldn't help me get over the heartbreak instead they made me miss the guy more with their love stories.i started spending time with God cos he's the only one that can love you unconditionally and never be confused,guess what? he healed my heart completely and gave me peace,it was sure a gradual thing but i was able to pull through cos i allowed God.

    Lastly,you can also make new friends, hang out with old friends,take yourself out,like go see a movie,apply for a job elsewhere,or drop ur C.V with any recruiting company you know or if you are bucks up u could even try enrolling yourself for a vocational job like catering,fashion design,make-up or beads making,etc.
    Praying might not be easy for you now but it is KEY.Always speak peace(positive things) to your life,ask God to heal your heart and PLEASE DON'T BE TOO QUICK TO GET INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP in a bid to get back at your EX or off your mind,it won't help and am sure it has never helped either.
    God be with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Officially welcoming you to the fold of WC epistle writers :-)

      Delete
  7. Anonymous6/13/2013

    UNA no well oh. a heart broken person go read all these? when people with straight mind no fit! be realistic and GO straight to the point dont torture the poster any further. @ POSTER please dust your feet smile and move on. your whole life is still very fresh @ 21. PEACE!

    ReplyDelete
  8. The above comments have said it all. we all have been through nasty incidents at one point or the other. some of us are still struggling to heal from heart breaks. its one of the worst things that can happen to someone but you owe it to yourself to be happy and move on.

    Apparently the guy took advantage of your naivety. it has happened and there is nothing much you can do about it now. As hard as it is, find a way to rise above it. you are a victim but you need to stop playing it. Leave it all to God and he will give you the peace your heart desires. Best wishes dear.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous6/13/2013

    My dear,take life one step @ a time...yur talking about not getting any beta job if yu quit dis job?wat if yu r being sacked?wat will yu do?so like someone said,I suggest yu start lookin for anoda job...or beta stil,use yur savings nd try going bak to earn a higher degree...its well

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous6/13/2013

    Dear poster what you're going through now is a common thing so never feel isolated. I have been a victim of rejection by those I loved but I took solace in God. Start attending and engaging in church activities,join youth grp in your church. This really helped me during my trying times. For now just create activities that will make you happy, your being happy will always hurt dose that despise you. Never think of suicide, later on in future I believe you will remember this time and thank God for making you go thru it. Each day I have every reason to thank God i never married my ex.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Godchic6/13/2013

    forget suicide,u haven't got a grip on this life what makes u think ure rdy for the after life? Heartbreak???? Been there,done that,got the t-shirt.Get a grip and move on,u'd be amazed @ how fine ull be when u do.don't think U can't get another job,why would u put urself down like that just cus uve only got a diploma...I know ure young and it feels like ur whole world revolves around this man and u'd neva find anoda.not only will u find another man,u'll eventually meet The Man,ur Man and u'l be better than fine,u'l do gr8.Just Put God first.

    ReplyDelete
  12. @Jay, u ve said it all, u are d bomb!!! @ poster reflect on dat, And God is ur strength

    ReplyDelete
  13. @gift, I knw its very hard but pls don't even think of ending ur life is the solution to this capital no, and I won't advice u to leave the job just be urself and try to pray hard God will surprise you and also try and make friends they do help sometimes at least anytime u ar down you will have someone who u can share things wif and u won't be lonly.

    ReplyDelete
  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous6/13/2013

    My Heart Goes Out Especially To Everyone Who Took Out Time From Their Busy Schedule To Drop A Comment And Advise Me. I Took Out Time To Read Every Comment And Believe Me When I Say I Found So Many Reasons To Press On. I Haven’t Felt This Loved In Almost A Decade. Thanks To All The Beautiful People Here. I Won’t Give Up. I Will Fight To The Finish. The Lord Is My Strength Even In These Days. And My Future Is So Bright That Even Those Who Mock Will Stand Amazed. Your Words And Advice Have Given Me Strength To Type These Words. I Appreciate You Deeply. God Bless You. And Aunty Eya (God Bless You And Yours)……..


    Gift Peter Komolafe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/13/2013

      Hi Gift, let God be your best friend. Trust me he will show you the love you so desire. Talk to him everyday like he's by your side. He will bring peace to your heart. Don't worry about your colleagues, trust me I've been there.
      There was a time I was the most hates person in my office, nobody talked to me, but I ignored them and carried on with my work. With time they will come around, at least one person will start being nice to you.
      As for the heartbreak, we have all been through it. There was a time we thought we could never love again, but you know what they say'ehat doesn't kill you makes you stronger'. This happened in your life for a purpose. Right now I trust you have learnt something's about relationships. That sex does not keep men around and that if a man truly loves you he will be with you no matter what.
      Trust me, your life will turn around when you least expect, take this time in your life as a learning phase, and that all these are happening to teach you a few life's lessons. But remember that this too shall pass, and you would look back at this stage in your life and smile, grateful that it made you a better person.
      So my dear poster, focus your attention on work even though it is difficult and seek friendship with God. He is always there for you

      Delete
    2. Chiomz6/13/2013

      Awwww darling *hugs
      U ll be fine ok. Pls try n go back to sch even while working. Life is never easy. Don't ever give up. Be urself. Smile always n be nice to people. Don't bother about ple at ur work place just be productive, v a focus.
      Someone very dear to me once told me dat 'the world would never give me what am worth, so i have to take it, stand up for my right'
      Be close to God, hs d only person that can love u just d way u want, hs love doesn't judge, its not selfish. Make friends in ur church, join a group. Become active. Just leave ur past in ur past.
      P.s. Most of us have gone tru heartbrk...in fact u don't wanna start hearing stories. So pls forget abt ur ex ok. Forget abt sex for now. Its worth waiting for.
      U will meet a nice n loving guy in d nearest future n ur gonna look back and smile just like i always doing.
      Keep shining for Christ. Much love

      Delete
    3. @Gift I'm so happy for your courage. Find solace in Jesus, He alone can heal your wounds.

      Delete
  16. they have said it all. to add it up, from your story i deduce you have low self esteem.you feel people are better than you. my dear,make use of your mirror immediately you read this.look @ yourself very well and speak confidence to yourself.when you have 'level' you wont be looking for friends,they will come naturally.

    thats my draw soup advice

    ReplyDelete
  17. @ poster i quite share your plight,have you ever won a battle,if not win this for your self,bone him,he is not important,make him feel irrelevant when it comes to your emotions,i know you'll say i don't understand,this is a lesson you'll be grateful you learnt to help someone someday. Do you know what you pay so much attention can either break you or make you! if you have to go to social site to chat up and laugh do it,as for your colleagues start by greeting them and observing their characters!about your reporting to him everyday make him know play time is over,make it official and he'll admire your strong courage. Reading you post makes my life a testimony so make yours same



    feeling funky

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous6/13/2013

    Hhhmmmm wat else can I say?
    This too will pass dear!
    The lord is ur muscle!

    Pls and pls henceforth, concentrate on ur job, leave men alone, u really don't need them at this stage of ur life.
    Start attending a bible believing church, start foundational class, become a worker.
    Most of all have a personal relationship with d person of Jesus.
    I recommend "Destined to Reign" and "Unmerited Favour" both by Joseph Prince.
    God bless u!



    Chicadimples

    ReplyDelete
  19. Dear Gift,you are still very young and fresh @21.my advice is to be focused on your job and make God your best friend.Talk to God before taking any step and i assure you he will make every thing turn around for you good....even those your EVIL colleagues.

    http://warmhearts13.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
  20. anon 1:26 u funny o ..but u just said the gospel truth.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I think leaving that job will help you heal. If you continue working under him and seeing daily how he is not affected in any way by the breakup, it will hurt the more. Start searching for another job where you can start on a new slate with a new environment and new colleagues. Later,You might be tempted to to have a talk with him and if he senses that you are going to make him uncomfortable in your presence, he might just begin to make things difficult for you.

    When you eventually find another job, try your best to have a good working relationship with your colleagues Ok? Be kind, put on humility and try to take instructions quietly. Put up your best behaviour but not cowardly. Don't try to prove that you know everything cos no one knows it all. Be friendly BUT, avoid gossip at all cost and you will be fine.

    He is not worth your life, he didn't give this life to you. If you end your life, whose loss is it? He won't observe even a minute's silence. You will be forgotten while he continues to rock life. The future holds so much for you, live on and allow it unfold itself. That pain you feel now is natural and won't last forever. Be strong and know that your almighty father is listening to all your prayers and he knows how it hurts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @ Gift, why I don't add anything sometimes is because readers already said my mind like in this your post. I didn't have anything different to add. When I saw your reply this night. I told myself that since you insist I just have to add something. Be strong, it will only get better.

      Delete
  22. I'm gonna be realistic and very logical with my comment here,most of u 'sympathizers' might not agree with me but its my opinion and there are ALWAYS two sides to a story.After all the big and popular road isn't really the right one!
    For me your story doesn't add up!u are 21 and started dating at 15?becos u dated ur ex for 4yrs,didn't date for 2yrs before u met this new guy who u have been dating since 2012? And u say u are shy,lack confidence and reserved?a girl who starts dating at 15 is certainly non of the above,u must be very ballsy and adventurous!
    At 15 I was steeped in my books,wow Gift ur mother and step dad can't be that bad.
    Stop thinking the whole world is against u,u have deep seated issues.It time to re evaluate yourself,possibly u have certain characteristics that aren't soo fine.A whole office can't pick on one little mousy girl who isn't even anywhere near the top position.
    Don't commit suicide becausee that douche bag isn't worth it but please time to do a reality check on yourself and make the necessary changes.
    And don't forget to ask Jehovah for a measure of the holy spirit so as to make decisions that please Him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/13/2013

      Welcome back lady Abena. Me like your reasoning.

      Delete
  23. Johnson6/14/2013

    1. Work on yourself… you seem to lack confidence. You need God confidence – not self confidence. Get hooked on God.
    2. You have been used by this guy… ‘he that is down should beware of falling objects’. Don’t give him the opportunity to use you as sex tool – yes, that’s what you are to him.
    3. Make time for personal development – possible enroll in a program; academic or business. Look around for opportunities around what can add value to you as a person and make time to do it.
    4. There are good guys around – they will come if you get busy enjoying yourself. Enjoy your life cos you have only one and God has given us all things to enjoy.
    5. Check your attitude – this possibly is what make you annoying to people. If you believe you have the right attitude, then ask God to help you cos it might be spiritual.
    6. Don’t think highly of yourself…. Whatever good looks you posses is secondary compared to your inner self.

    ReplyDelete

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