Dear God, Should I Give Her My Kidney?

Hello Madam Eya, this is a prayer I said and wrote out because my heart is broken. I know it's not meant for everyone but  chose to share with fellow wives connection blog readers and hope they do not condemn me, especially as they are mostly women and wives. Please put it on the blog:

Dear God, I am a sinner who needs your forgiveness. I have sinned and always do. Everytime I confess you show mercy and I know this won't be different. Lord it's my wife. I loved her
so much and could give my life for her but this timing is wrong. 

I could give her both kidneys but it's too late  I can't. 
Shortly after our marriage. I lost my job and she became the breadwinner, all efforts to get something proved abortive and  then she became disgusted with and never pretended about it. I suffered while my dear wife made so much, she could get herself everything she wanted but never cared if I went out daily with the same shirt.

She tried her best  giving me only what she felt I needed and never what I asked for or truly needed. Life has been so difficult for me while she could afford all expensive aso ebis to her different committee of friends' outings. I groaned while she smiled. She never failed to show that she is the one providing. I tried all these years to show her that she changed  but she won't listen.

Today,She is very ill and I feel bad. The results are showing it is a kidney problem and I hope it's not the type that would require a transplant. ...In the past, I would gladly give but right now, I'm sorry. Have mercy on me and count not my sins against me.

Comments

  1. What an ingrate are you oga? so you can't even appreciate that she feeds and shelters you? What are men turning into? so because you lost your job she should moiurn and sulk with you forever?

    My advice is change your ways, you are too greedy. If you don't donate another will abi na only you get kidney?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RoleModel6/24/2013

      Hey Mary :u sounded very bitter..perhaps u are that kind of woman painted in this picture..how dare u write the nonesense u wrote?..ms good samaritan..go dash her ur kidney now..shior..next time if u have nothn good to spew out of dat ur hole,kindly keep it shut..shogbor?
      Oga,pls dnt mind this mary, she's just so clueless..all I can say is dat u find a place in ur heart to forgive ur wife and do whatever it is to see her well again..who knows,ur selfless giving could be the key to ur breakthrough in life..I wish u well.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous6/24/2013

      Exactly oo! C mi C gbege! I reason wit d Man o jare! Buh if u wnt 2 save sumone's lyf, u hv 2 consider helpn ur wyf, mayb afta d donation, she will cum 2 realize dat everytin is Vanity

      Delete
    3. Anonymous6/24/2013

      One word to describe this mary - FOOL

      Delete
    4. Anonymous6/24/2013

      Kidney donation comes with it's own effect.
      They have children to cater for, and 2 sick parents cannot do that.
      It's so unfortunate she is ill, i won't advise him to donate his kidney, if it comes to that.

      Delete
  2. Oh dear! This is a very sad story. Pls do not look @ how she has treated u, show love to her even if u think she does not deserve it. Because of God and the love u both shared and also because of the kids (if any) trust me, u kids will not forgive u if anything hapenes to their mum and they know u could have helped but didn't. Forget the past, forget the way she has treated u, she needs compassion, love and support now. Please do the needful before it's too late. God bless u!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous6/24/2013

    yeye man, don't donate now,, it's you that will die of hunger #HissingInMyNativeLanguage

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. jeanette6/24/2013

      Pls don't start running your tap now, it's too early.

      Delete
    2. RoleModel6/24/2013

      Annoymous 9.23 :how dumb can u be? I'm not surprised at ur level of understanding..if u can hiss in ur native language online..then why won't u type dat nonsenes..its people like you that will make this man not want to help his wife..
      After all when she was hale,she was mean to her husband..so wats the difference if she's dead?.. mumu writer...oga like I said..pls dnt mind some daft writers..jus show love like Christ commands us..

      Delete
    3. chubby ELLA6/24/2013

      I agree wit u "rolemodel". Dear poster,@ d beginnin,u said u "loved" ur wife,sori,bt did u mean "love" or loved"? If u meant loved,does it mean dat d love is dead?mayb cos of her ill treatment 2 u. See,no1 is perfect,doh I'm nt in support of hw she treated u bt pls I beg u 2 forgive her jst as CHRIST 4gives us all. U neva can tell,u myt jst get ur breakthrough afta u help her,d kind of breakthru dat'l make her loyal 2 u 4lyf n realise dat "NO CONDITION IS PERMANENT..pls show her d kind of luv God shows us "EVERYDAY".

      Delete
  4. Anonymous6/24/2013

    I seriously do not understand some kids dat come to dis blog to leave stupid n nasty comments.sum1 is in deep shit n need advice n all u cud do is 2 insult n insult.@d poster though ur wife was not really der 4 u dat does not mean u should not help her.pls don't pay evil wit evil mayb God is just testing u.dis is d time u need 2 show her love n care no matter what she has done 2 I know it might b difficult but just do it n God will see u through.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As in!!I just can't wrap my head around it. someone is seeking for advice and some people are just insulting the person. its not just fair!! nobody bargains for bulls**t in life and sometimes nothing prepares us for some of the challenges we meet daily.

      To those that insult people that need advice, just know that it could have been you. even if you feel the need to insult, resist it!!!
      To the poster, my first reaction is for you to leave her to her fate but i asked myself, 'what will Jesus do?'. while i'm praying that your wife's sickness should not get to the stage you are fearing it to get, i will advice you show her all the love and kindness you can. If you do so, she in turn will feel guilty for how she has treated you in the past and i believe she will learn and turn a new leaf.

      Been good to someone who hasn't been good to you is one of the hardest things ever but its not impossible. just ask God to give you the strength and heart of love to do that. Wishing her a speed and total recovery. All the best.

      Delete
  5. Anonymous6/24/2013

    Hmmm, easier said than done!
    I understand this poster so well... It is not easy to care for some1 who treated you like you never existed, talk more of giving her part of you.
    Well, if you're a xtian and understand so well the price christ paid for you on the cross, then it would be easy for you to give her even part of ur heart!
    Let go of the hurt and move on, if for nothing, for your faith and heaven's sake.

    Patsy

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous6/24/2013

    This is a tough call and I get how you are feeling. I'm in the same situation as per finances and I feel like I'm suffering in the midst of plenty. They call him a philanthropist out there but he gives me just the barest minimum and that's for feeding alone.

    I just pray it doesn't come down to that but she's your wife. If u do not donate, who will? You two are one, for better or worse. If you refuse to donate then your marriage will be over because I don't see that woman taking someone else's kidney and then coming back to work to feed you. It is well. God is your strength.

    ReplyDelete
  7. My brother I feel you have something to learn from a family friend of ours,whose situation is just like yours and the beauty of it is that its recent happening.
    Just like you this man lost his job,but even before they got married the wife had more than him,but she was very humble and pretended to be submissive I guess because she wanted to settke down as soon as possible,coz her 13'Oclock was fast approaching.
    But after they walked down the aisle,the story changed, the humble and caring lady turned into a very rude and disrespectul wife. She has a car but doesn't allow the husband to ride it,the man is even made to trek or use a cab when taking their daughter to school.
    Even on sundays after mass when the man will be exchanging pleasantries with his friends,the woman drives home leaving the man behind. Not withstanding the woman'a wealth,the husband always come to my dad seeking for money to provide something at home.
    But it won't be fair if I fell to mention that the wife pays the house rent,their daughters school fees etc.
    But not withstanding all these cruel treatment meted on him by the wife,he never failed to wish her well and appreciate her efforts,then overlooking some of her wrongs.its obvious there maybe disgruntlement,but he never made it so obvious.
    Of recent the wife fell sick,and needed to be flown outside the country for proper treatment,the man was so overwhelmed with emotions when he came to tell my parents and asked them to pray for the quick recovery of the wife and that he had booked mass in that respect too.
    On the day the woman cameback he was at the airport to recieve her,overjoyed he even had to call my parents that the wife is back that they should join him in thanking God.
    My brother the point that am trying to make is that,u need to acknowledge her efforts,then try overlooking those her faults,coz sincerely it would be rare to see a woman who suddenly assumes the respobsiblities of the man of the house and won't be pissed at some point.
    Saying that u wouldn't help the flesh of your flesh with a kidney if the need arises,makes it sound like u stand yo gain something if she dies. You can start by praying for her quick recovery.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous6/24/2013

      Best comment with Reason so Far

      Delete
    2. Anonymous6/24/2013

      Abeg i nor no u,but u are too much!!!!

      Delete
    3. Anonymous6/24/2013

      Bona de talk sense for dis blog! I don tell am b4!

      Delete
  8. Let her father or mother donate 4 her.
    Ʊ r stil young...you wil need yours 4 2mao.

    Just saying.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous6/24/2013

    Where is Ahdaisy and sister this blog is too dry

    ReplyDelete
  10. Pls 4give her & donate one of ur kidneys 2 her. Dis act of kindness might be all u need 2 do 2 bring back d love in2 ur marriage. If she has a conscience(which i hope she has), she will 4eva be grateful 2 u & will neva treat u bad or look down on u again. God wont come down from heaven 2 make pple change. It is our actions 2wards others dat will make dem change either 4 good or bad. BTW wat wld Jesus do.(dat's my new anthem. no be say i too holy but am trying 2 get there)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous6/24/2013

    Yeah. I feel 4 u. Ur wife wuznt der 4 u wen u lost ur job. In oda words, she maltreated u. But I tink u shld ovaluk evry hurtful thing she did 2 u. I knw its hard. But with God's Grace, u'll b able 2. If she nids a kidney transplant, n ur matches her, I tink u shld donate it. Weddin vows states "4 beta, or worse, not 4 better or best." Now is d time 2 prove ur love 2 her. Remeba d Bible says, "love kips no records of wrongdoing." God will bless u and strengthen ur marriage. AMEN. Oma Baby.

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  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  13. Oga... I support you 100% keep ur kidney biko!

    There's never a case were a woman provided and she behaved sane afterwards it gets into their isi nmiri and they start to act like mini gods.

    I have an aunts who provided all through the early stage of their marriage but as God will have it now her hubby is now the master of cash... The only good tin out of it was that she treated him very well, and now he's reciprocating. That is life... One good turn deserves another.

    I'm sorry to put an ethnic twist to this... Yoruba women are the most guilty of this.

    Let's all watch our ways!


    Nuff'Said!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'There's never a case were a woman provided and she behaved
      sane afterwards it gets into their isi nmiri and they start to act
      like mini gods.'
      Seriously?
      Please tell me what statistics you referred to before coming to that conclusion.
      Off the top of my head, I know at least 3 women who have gone through this sort of phase with their husbands, some are even still in it but you wouldn't know if you aren't told
      So please stop with the assumptions and i don't even want to address the tribe issue you brought into it.
      No woman will ever find this type of scenario easy, I admit that but not everyone will act like 'mini gods'

      Poster, I know how you feel and I will admit that it would be an easier option for you to ignore her situation but please don't take the easy way out. Don't repay evil with evil. I know that even though she really hurt you in the past, you may never be able to forgive yourself if she passes on and you did nothing to help. It would weigh on your conscience. So please play your own part so you can be blameless before God.

      Hope you make the right decision,
      All the very best

      Delete
    2. Fyn Ijebu Chic6/24/2013

      Mr Ace!!! Have u heard of fallacy of hasty generalisation:too few examples?
      At ur age and marital status, u shd be able to drive home ur point without putting an ethnic twist to it.
      On behalf of my ethnic group and tribe, I forgive U!!!

      Delete
    3. Anonymous6/24/2013

      well,

      Delete
    4. Anonymous6/24/2013

      Very hasty generalisations o! I just tire for Ace. E no try today at all! Ace please next time STOP, THINK b4 u ACT or SPEAK or in this case TYPE. U are not making much sense today. Or is this not the real Ace?

      Delete
    5. This is the real Ace alright, he always makes these sort of comments. He just attempts to curb himself here but a leopard can't change its spots, can it?

      Delete
  14. Anonymous6/24/2013

    Whatever u decide 2 do let it come 4m a comfortable place in ur heart. You will feel bad and used if after donating d kidney she still continues 2 treat u like crap. If however you are expecting nothing u might not feel this way.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous6/24/2013

    i know how scored you muxt feel and how agonized being under the feet of a woman, just know that everything happens for a reason you tried your br=est to make her know she had changed despite her bad behaviour. and God will reward you, probably it might be nemesis catching up with her, dont relent in your effort it is a mmatter of life and death, guilty conscience will noit make her sleepo well knowing she has inside of her the kidney of a man she mal treated and spoke to disrespectfully she wil come back and beg you on her knees. do not give up, God is not a sleeping God, you will pray AND fast and God will open up his heavens towards you, I decree that as long as God liveth and he is who he say he is, the one who sits in the heavens and the earth is his foot stool, the one who created the heavens and the earth, the one who speaketh and the earth shaketh, the one who commands the winds and seas to be still, the one who healeath the sick, blind, leprous, the one whose son was nailed on calvary tree for our transgresssion...... this year is your year. God will embarass you with blessings...... this year will not pass you bym you will get a seven figure salary, God will heal your marriage and things will come back to normal in Jesus name. FORGIVE AND FORGET.... THE WOMAN WHO BORE YOU CHILDREN IS IN NEED, NO MATTER HOW BAD SHE TREATED YOU, FIND A SPACE IN YOUR HEART TO FORGIVE......

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous6/24/2013

    Oga pls give! Don't harden your heart cos that is the devil trying to use you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gracia6/24/2013

      @ poster, come to imagine that you are the one in her present condition, what will your prayer and hope be? Be the answer to her prayer and watch God coming big on your behalf.

      Delete
  17. Johnson6/24/2013

    @Poster - what will it profit you if your wife dies? NOTHING. The way you sound, and feel, about her would shut the heavens over you - God's mercy is very far under this condition.
    Read Bonario's comments again - do you think the man described in his comment is stupid? God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise...
    The least you can do is to contribute to her getting well and let God reward you.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous6/24/2013

    @ poster. Oga, b4 u begin to consider & imagine dat ur kidney will be her saving grace. Have u gone for a test to confirm dat ur kidneys r in order?? Personally, I'd find it difficult to give my organ to someone who doesn't appreciate me. Lets assume u do donate ur organ to her, if something happens to d one left, do u think she'd help? Of course we know dat would mean buying an organ. Will she be willing to part with her money then? Again, if she is as wealthy as u say and hates u as much, what makes u think she wants ur kidney. Oh well... Too many thots in my head.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous6/24/2013

    @ poster ask ur self dis ?, if I was d one is my wife going 2 donate her kidney for me. Jst ask ur self.then work on dat

    ReplyDelete
  20. Errmm, do u knw if ur kidney matches her system? Pls dnt bother urself yet until u r sure they will require ur kidney

    By the way, sentiments aside, u r under no obligation to give her ur kidney. All these holier than thou speakin as if they will willingly donate theirs

    ReplyDelete

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