Cougar Feelings: I Need Advice Please

Hi Eya and fellow wives connection readers. I need help and advice please. I'm a young widow, hubby passed tragically a year ago and left me with our one year old son who is now two. I have a problem which I believe  people in the house can help me resolve.

After one year of mourning and grieving, as a lady in
my late thirties,  shouldn't I be thinking of a relationship with older men? But instead I see myself falling for younger men ( Men in their thirties and late twenties). I think there is something wrong with me. Have I suddenly become a cougar? Aunty Eya and others please what can I do? I need advise.


  1. Anonymous6/11/2013

    Madam, nothing wrong with dating a younger man. Just that he won't respect you. My heart goes out to you, hope it's not Dana Air?

  2. Anon 1:39...Dana Air not funny o . Well poster you can date/marry a younger guy but I doubt if he treats you right.I think you should go for an older man who understands ur plight

  3. Its normal,its human coz love can be found anywhere.
    And who said a young guy can't treat you like you ought to. Personality differs coz age doesn't equate maturity.
    If your tradition permits you settling with anoda man after mourning your late husband,it won't be out of place if you seek that happiness you desire,age not withstanding.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

  4. Anonymous6/11/2013

    Sorry for your loss , U can find it anywhere but U still need to be careful cos if d guy does not truly care he might take advantage of you. Good luck.

  5. Anonymous6/11/2013

    My dear, consider ur son. Just 1yr after your husband death and you are thinking of a relationship already? I think that is rather too early. Don't give pple room to point fingers at you.
    You shld be more careful. Clear your head of relationship for now, and be closer to God. Let Him decide for you this time, so you don't end up in a messy relationship.
    Do you know how messy a bad relationship can be, it can rob u off ur son's love. Be more concerned about ur son's welfare now, and the things of God too.
    My opinion- forget relationship for now! You do with a man for anoda year pls...


    1. Anonymous6/11/2013


    2. She has mourned her hubby for 1yr, even if she stays for 3yrs people will definitely talk so y will she rub hersef of her hapiness

  6. Anonymous6/11/2013

    *you can do without a man for now*

  7. Anonymous6/11/2013


  8. Anonymous6/11/2013

    Sorry for ur loss, not 2 early anytin. one whole yr. not like u are marrying d man immediately. Date him, take time n know him, pls dont sleep wit him b4 marriage. Above all be closer 2 ur God n be prayerful. May God order ur step in Jesus name. Amen.

  9. Plz kill the cougar feeling, only 1 out of 10 younger guys will possibly respect and treat you fine. Most of the time you'll realize this kinda guy's who will be willing to date you are either jobless or gold digging.

    As for older men, all they want is a sweet sixteen, but not all of them, so I understand how hard that may also seem, you can't compete with the younger girls in real time... Give it time.

    Only last week vanguard reported a case of a divorced woman who got killed by her younger male partner cos of money, if they don't try to defraud you while they keep a younger girl smwhr they simply just play with your emotions and your life.


  10. One year? Is that to early? Cant Judge you though.

  11. Anonymous6/11/2013

    I will still say you stay away from relationship for now. You're vulnerable and you're definitely going to end up as a prey to any young guy out there. Clear your head, enjoy singleness for the time been. Don't get into any relationship, sex or no sex. Relationship commands comitment, and some form of responsibility. That's not what you need now!
    You need christ in your life, to fill that void in you. Not a man! Go for christ, he will direct you a right.


  12. @poster, am so sowi abt ur loss, take heart dear. As for ur question, I feel its normal because younger guys are the ones closer to u now bt I bet u none of them will marry u as u feel. They will add to ur sorrow by causing u more tears which u don't need now. My sister go closer to God now cuz he is the author and the finisher of ur life. That young guy u want to date do u knw wen he too will die?? Allow God do the chosing for u.Morning will last for a nyt but Joy comes in the morning. I pray ur tears to be turned to laughter faster than u expect in jesus name.

  13. Godchic6/12/2013

    I totally support Ace's comment..what u feel is the rush and heady feeling a younger guy would give,the thrill and the youthful feeling u get around them.noone is askn u to date methuselah,but a younger guy????? Pls read Ace's comment again. I wish u the best.

  14. Anonymous6/12/2013

    There is nothing wrong with you being attracted to younger men. There are younger men who are very attracted to older women and have good intentions. I don't need to tell you how many woman are married to younger men in this world! It is not as if there is a great age difference at this point. What you need to realize is..that there are good and bad men of all ages. An older man can be just as disrespectful as a younger man. Just be very careful in your choice. Take your time and keep it in prayer. Allow this man to see you for the wonderful and good person that you are... and you take the time to see just what type of man he is. You should know the signs of a man with good intentions vs. bad intentions. Your best defense right now... is to be very wise about this... and be able to recognize if it is a part of God's plan for you. Best of luck to you.


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