Worried Mum To Be

Hi Eya,

V some issues don't really know if it's worth been worried about.Am a young lady of 25 got married last year and yea am pregnant and will be due by December,God's willing.

Am the last in my family, lost my precious mum 2yrs ago its not been easy but am coping.To summarise my story,am so so so worried about me and my unborn baby,my issues are.....
1,Dnt knw when and how to start getting baby stuffs
2,Dnt v any single idea of what to be needed when the baby comes

'Omugwo'still don't v an idea who would help me.

.....and so many personal issues I won't want to disclose here.By the way you guys wld be wondering of my mum-in-law,she's very much alive very caring and amazing too.The first time I got pregnant,my husband and I travelld to the east to see her,we got talkin about the omogwo,her reply was that I v to come down to the east when am due if I  want her to do the omogwo.

To be sincere I didn't expect it from her,I tried to understand cos she has her husband who is diabetic and eats special food and also she has athritis

Unfortunately I lost the baby and it took some months for me to conceive again.I believe now am some how on my own,don't want to have hopes that she's going to be there for me.

I really want to give birth where my husband and I reside,and please aunty Eya and my fellow WC readers am I worrying too much??

and please would want to know when and what  to start buying before the baby comes.Any other suggestions are welcome......thanx


  1. Anonymous5/15/2013

    Wondering too much. No biggie. Dnt u hv friends who r mother's? I did my omugwo mysef, stayed alone outside d country with my husband travelling bk for work, no mother. And I was 24. Supports frm friends via bb or calls. Trust ur instincts! At least here in nig, u cn get a nanny and families come over. If ur busy with work, u wldt b thinkin about irrelevant stuff like dis abt wen to get baby things. Concentrate on havin a healthy baby first. Ur not evn yet 6 months gone. Strt saving up nw, babies things r not cheap and u can't finish getting all u need at once. Take care of our lil one

  2. Congratulations. This blessing is permanent IJN. It is a bit early in ur pregnancy to start worrying about what the baby needs. I'll suggest you wait till d end of ur 2nd trimester or early 3rd trimester to start shopping. Your midwife should give you a list of the necessary things needed, ask for a list when you go for ante-natal.
    Go on google and search for 'essentials to get for a new born baby' that really helps. Essentials include: lots of baby grow, vests and sleep suits, lots of nappies/dipers, baby wipes, square muslins, cot, moses basket, car seat if u drive, shawl, baby hat, scratch mittons, toiletries, clothes, booties, socks, baby bath, comb, infacol/gripewater, towel, maternity sanitary towels, maternity bras, disposable pant for u till u stop bleeding, beebs, comfy loose clothes for u, baby bouncer, easy tops for u to wear when breastfeeding, nappy cream.
    If your mother in-law cannot come to you for omugwo don't worry, I won't suggest u travel to her afterall so many people don't get help after they have their 1st child and with God they survive. Just make sure you have mother or aunty like figures you can talk to or ask baby questions. So many people will give advise on what to do and what not to do with ur baby but go with what u are comfortable with because its a learning process for every mother.
    Lastly you are not alone, God is with you. Always pray, lay ur hands on ur tummy and cover d fetus in ur womb with d blood of Jesus. Relax and enjoy ur pregnancy, worrying is very unhealthy for a preggy woman. I hope this helps.

  3. You can start buying baby things as early as possible, so avoi d crash n bulk shopping bcos later on u will be heavy and going to market won't be easy, start by buying neutral clothes, bodysuits, baby bags, etc the hospital will also give you a list of things to buy, also on babycen u will get a more comprehensive list, that will state d essentials. I strongly believe that God gave the natural ability to take care of a child, pls n pls don't worry, he will provide u with someone if your mother in law doesn't come. All u really need is a person to bath u with hot water for a week or so, you can do it all okay. It won't be easy but God will send help, frnds, women in chc etc. Keep calm n enjoy ur journey to motherhood

  4. Anonymous5/15/2013

    Thanx a lot dearies,I really do appreciate.Guess I ve to worry less nw

  5. Anonymous5/15/2013

    Honey dear, don't worry God is the way. Just relax first,Stop Worrying yourself to avoid hypertension pls. Eat well,read supernatural childbirth,pray for your family and leave the rest in Gods hand. When the time comes,you will cope. The good thing is we have natural motherly instinct that will guide us and you can call an elderly aunt or your Mom in law for advice when necessary. By that time,you may even get more than the help you need. The hospital that you are attending antenatal at will also give you list of things to buy too. Calm down dear. GLADDENED HEART

  6. Yes you worry too much and it's not good for your health and the baby.
    You don't know what to buy? The internet is there to help you - google it(so I did), go to there are loads of info then decide on those you really need, better still you can talk to other moms you know.
    As for Omugwo, you should have friends. If you have healthy relationships, and you are a strong Naija woman you can pull it off. For me as long as mom and child are healthy, 2months is enough for Omugwo and work starts.
    You can buy stuffs like Baby Wardrobe,Bed and Bath for now.
    Instead of worrying, productively think and plan. Get pen and paper,write down your expectations during delivery, color of baby's room, decor(animation painting or wallpaper)etc.
    Read books and get to know how/what baby looks like at each stage. If you worry now, I wonder when you'll stop. Please if you don't love u, for the sake of the baby. Always speak to your child. Mine kicks like crazy each time hubby sings or I hold my tummy and we gist. Goodluck

  7. If you can, pls get a mature nanny to come and help with the baby when you deliver. That was what I did. This will help you rest especially in d mornings after taking care of baby thru d night. Try to read as much as you can abt taking care of babies, also ask questions no matter how trivial u feel it is, and don't forget you have a family here. If you are in Port harcourt, would be glad to be of help. It is well with you and d little one IJN.

  8. Anonymous5/15/2013

    Hi dear!!!! Congrats on your being pregnant. I will advise you to stop worrying especially at this stage. During the first trimester, it is advisable not to worry at all and take lots of rest. As for when I need to start buying, I will suggest you start in your second trimester ( probably your fifth and sixth) month. The reason I do this is cos I don't like last minute shopping and also I've found thy in my third trimester, I get tired easily and so shopping becomes a task for me and isn't the best. You can buy in bits and pieces too so that you won't really feel the impact as compared to when u do all your shopping at once. Dearie, you shouldn't worry about who will take care of u and baby when u deliver cos as a woman after childbirth you will realise how strong u are. And gues what, motherly instincts will be there as well. It's inbuilt dear. I reside in the Uk and even if my mum comes around she doesn't stay for long cos she has to go back to work and I've coped fine to the glory of God. The Lord is ur strength so relax and enjoy your pregnancy. It is well. (Sorry about the epistle, it's actually my first time toner on this blog).

  9. Infact, those ur inlaws sef need omugwo!

    Omugwo is not written in the bible na, or do they award marks for it. Look for someone mature in your area to help you out follow the yoruba strategy; landlady, neighbors and even friends can be of help.


  10. This is so me my mum is late as well I'm due dec thought abt who'll do Omugwo for me, my mum inlaw lives here in US too but mehn she's a workaholic. Well I won't worry myself too much, I've prayed about it and I know it's well! God won't give you what you can't handle....u can google stuffs, read, ask questions alot as well, u can get this book 'what to expect when you're expecting'

    1. By Heidi Murkoff.
      Ehen another thing I learnt was to stay away from uda, I love nsala soup but somehow I had to jut find my way arnd it!

    2. Anonymous5/16/2013

      Wats Uda?. Tnx.

    3. Uda is African Negro pepper. It's usually long and dark, has this smell.
      Every pregnant woman should stay faaaaaarrrrrrrr (like farfaru) away from it. A lady in a town my parents lived lost 6months pregnancy coz she ate tasted, enjoyed and longer throat-edly fed on a yam porridge prepared for a new moma. It's a very good cleanser hence they use it plenty in Ibo land to make porridge for new moms

  11. Hi poster. U said u're the last in ur family. Do u have older sisters, aunts or cousins who might be able to help?

  12. Anonymous5/16/2013

    It is well

  13. There is a book that really helped me when I had my first baby. My mother came some days after delivery, before and even after she came, this book took care of everything. I made no mistakes, courtesy that book.

    Of all the parenting books I read then, this was the most helpful. It was like a reference book. I read it so much so that some pages tore off. Right now I am looking for the newest edition to buy keep for my girls cos I feel every mother needs it.

    It covers from when you are still pregnant to parenting for babies, toddlers, and all ages upto how to choose good schools for your children, how to parent teenagers and so much more.

    Even illnesses, with this book you know what to do every time your baby is not feeling or looking ok, it tells you when to go to a Doctor and when not to bother, Teaches you simple First aid for babies when you can't see a Doctor fast or when there is no Doctor.

    As a first timer, I think you need it as soon as possible. There's a step by step guide on how to bath and clean an infant, where to place your hand while bathing a baby, where to hold and where not to hold, how to position the baby,what your right and left hand should be doing while bathing your baby.

    It tells you baby equipments that are necessary and those that are not, explaining why they are or are not necessary.

    It lets you know the type of cry that means baby is hungry or ill and the type that is just naughtiness and attention seeking by baby. It helped me so much and may God bless the Doctor that really took so much time to write that book.

    Hubby told me he saw a newer edition in a bookshop here in Abuja and that this contains even much more than what we have in our edition.

    The Book is: BABY AND CHILD CARE BY Dr Benjamin Spock.

    You will continue to refer to this book even when your children become teenagers. Try and get it, it will help you a lot.

    1. Bless you Ma Eya. Am so hitting google to see if I can get a kindle version coz I doubt any bookstore around me here will have it.

    2. Yes, Google "Baby and child care Spock" Click on "9TH EDITION" Click on "Look Inside" and then click on "Table Of Contents" Go through the contents,

      You will it.

  14. Anonymous5/16/2013

    Aunty Eya pls don't be angry for what am about to ask where is sister?I ve indivisualised her so much it seems I know her she sounds like my mum pls no insults I miss her pls bring her back I need her pls no one should insult me

  15. Anonymous5/16/2013

    Aww thanx every1 and thank u aunty Eya will sure look for the book by weekend.Do ve a lovely day y'all

  16. Anonymous5/16/2013

    WOW!!! really learnt a lot from dese comments.though im still TTC prior to 3months postop.. but u guys just made me crave for me baby more than eva. cant wait....

  17. Anonymous5/16/2013

    Same here. I have really learnt so much. Am expecting too in November, planning my shopping in August ending. As for Omugwo, when I get to the bridge I will cross it.

  18. Anonymous5/16/2013

    Ave learnt. A lot. Too. Will be due by dec. My own challenge is that I can't keep anything down. I puke anytym of the day. No appetite. Even water is an issue. I was told in the hospital that its normal and I shld endure. Bt A̶̲̥̅♏ so weak. Dnt kw what to do.#sobs#

    1. Elisoft5/16/2013

      So sorry dear. I went through a similar experience in my pregnancies. I kept nothing in and was always fed on drips when my strenght could carry me no more.
      Talk to your doctor. There are medications that can help stop nausea but they must be prescribed by your doctor for d safety of d babu so I wont write the name here. Take pregnant care daily as it would help you with d essential vitamins you and your baby will need and get you feeling a lot better.
      Trust me when baby arrives, d joy of holding d little one will erase d memories of these few months.
      All the best with your pregnancy

  19. Anonymous5/16/2013

    I'm so happy I found this blog...thanks for the info, will certainly get the book hopefully before I put to birth which is very close or ask hubby to help.
    God bless women/mothers.
    Aunty Eya well done o.

  20. Anonymous10/28/2014

    I am just worried about these UDA of a things,am 6weeks preg, nd i like nsara soup, putting uda in my soup cause me nd my baby harm?

  21. Anonymous12/08/2014

    Thank you so much ladies, please any more info on uda will be helpful. Just drank ji mmiri oku now with plenty of uda. Is there any antidote?

  22. Congratulatios dear. God will make a way for you.


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