Ways To Catch A Chicken


Many people have tried various means of birdnapping, and these means have ended in failure and ignominy. If you weigh about a 120kgs and you want to try the conventional method of chasing the chicken about with a bag and basket, FORGET IT. The bird has a very simple defence mechanism; they run zigzag when chased , so they will most likely outrun you, not to mention the risk of giving yourself a heart attack {120kgs is no joke. That’s like two bags of rice and yam 1500 naira}
Below are some very useful tips to successfully catching a chicken.
Sight target {preferably the pesky neighbourhood cock who goes around terrorising and raping the hens} and close in with a handful of maize in one hand and a big fat stick in the other. When you are close enough,toss the maize and call the target.
The target rushes to you and pecks away happily at your feet, unaware that his end has come.
Raise
stick and smash! The target gives a mighty “KWAAAAAA!” and drops dead. Stuff carcass into a basket, fling the murder weapon into the forest and sneak back to your room, where a pot is already on the boil.

Another method:

Lure target to you with grains of maize. When it is eating its last meal at your feet, grab target by READ MORE HERE

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Comments

  1. Anonymous5/16/2013

    Lwkm.. Can't stop laughing.. That "sight target" was just hilarious.. Good job writer.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aunty Eya!! I Love You!!! Thank You!!



    www.soulspasms.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ha! Na wettin be this? I'm calling the Police plus Animal Rights Protection unit on this person

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous5/16/2013

    Haaaa, i haven't read anything this funny in a long while ooooooo.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous5/16/2013

    Ha hahahahahahahahahahahaha

    Danie

    ReplyDelete
  6. Looolz very funny,what if in an effort to hit the chicken,u break somoeones windscreen?lmfao

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous5/16/2013

    I 've recieved countless petitions Frm d Animal right Commission, alleging persecution n assault of innocent Fowls in various neighbourhood across the country, some of which 've resulted in out right death or various degrees of injury to the victims. After thorough examination and cross examination of d defendant, it was discovered that indeed the accused has in various cases, committed 1st degree murder, which is contrary to section 5, sub-section 2, paragraph 11 of The Animals right act. With d Supreme power vested on me, by Section 37, Paragraph 9, subsection 2 of d constitution of the Animal Farm Republic, I hereby sentence You to 5yrs of Poultry Farming n Dog rearing. This is without an Option of Fine or Appeal whatsoever. Thats my Judgement!

    VALENTINE!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous5/16/2013

    I 've recieved countless petitions Frm d Animal right Commission, alleging persecution n assault of innocent Fowls in various neighbourhood across the country, some of which 've resulted in out right death or various degrees of injury to the victims. After thorough examination and cross examination of d defendant, it was discovered that indeed the accused has in various cases, committed 1st degree murder, which is contrary to section 5, sub-section 2, paragraph 11 of The Animals right act. With d Supreme power vested on me, by Section 37, Paragraph 9, subsection 2 of d constitution of the Animal Farm Republic, I hereby sentence You to 5yrs of Poultry Farming n Dog rearing. This is without an Option of Fine or Appeal whatsoever. Thats my Judgement!

    VALENTINE!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/16/2013

      Valentine the chief judge. Whoa, can't stop laughing.

      Delete
  9. Eyaa... Ma Eya its not fair. Shuoo all this for chicken? I pity them now

    ReplyDelete
  10. Yes! There's more where that came from!! :D

    Yall pls visit my blog,read,Laugh,and pls drop a comment!! Thanks everyone! :D (˘ﻬ˘)


    www.soulspasms.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous5/17/2013

    can't stop laughing,but na sin to strangle animal oh,lol.

    ReplyDelete

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