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The Right Age For A First Kiss

Good morning Aunty Eya,
Please I need your readers to help me out. I have to give an answer this evening. I am a
mother of 4 boys and just one girl. My daughter is fourteen this month. This morning she came to my room and wanted us to talk. Do you know she wants me to tell her when I had my first kiss.

Aunty Eya, pls I don't think it would be proper for me to tell my own daughter that I had my first kiss at 16 in Secondary School. WON'T THAT ENCOURAGE HER TO GO KISS A  BOY WHEN SHE CLOCKS 16? She also wants to know when is the right age to experience a first kiss. Me, I'm not too used to teaching this to girls and my head is about to explode. I actually pretended to be too busy and scheduled a meeting for 7pm. 

As soon as she dashed out I started to write you this mail. Please I need help. I really want to be AS REALISTIC AS POSSIBLE WITH MY GIRL. Times are changing and I know if I don't she will ask elsewhere. I need advise on realistic answers I can give her. I want to be as truthful as possible but on the other hand I fear being truthful may be letting out too much for her age. I think I kissed my crush too early and too young *rme*. 

Good people on wives connection blog, Please help me with what you feel is OK to tell her.
Fab Mum.

Comments

  1. hmmm dis one is huge,putting into considertion when I first had mine. Though it wasn't a Frencher.
    hmmmm I can't categorically tell you its at age 10 when I had mine and my madam at the top (Ahdaisy) may say till u get married. lolz
    So I'll refer you to the book of Omawumi. track 1 "IF YOU ASK ME NA WHO I GO ASK?

    ~BONARIO~says ao via NOKIA3310

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/12/2013

      Hahahaha u just made me lol'd Bonario

      Delete
    2. Hahahahaa....Bonario... I luv luv u... :*

      Delete
    3. Anonymous5/13/2013

      Bona abeg ahdaisy alone abi u wan start anoda war when she is ready she will comment

      Delete
    4. Anonymous5/13/2013

      Leave ahdaisy alone

      Delete
    5. Anonymous5/13/2013

      Hahahahahaha.....

      Delete
  2. Anonymous5/12/2013

    18 should be OK, abi she no go date before marry? Anyway I had my first kiss under the bed with a cousin at 8 while we kids were all having fun doing HIde AND Seek. #runs away before they catch me.

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  3. Interesting. Whenever one starts dating, kissing cannot be completely ruled out. At 20 she is an adult and can experience a first kiss if she so choses.
    I had my first kiss at 10 with our neighbours son back then.

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  4. Hum...really heavier dn d heaviest.................sincerely,fr ur daughter muster courage n ask u ds kind of ? @14 shows dt dere is indeed a lot of communication bw d both of u...she cld v asked her peers buh she choose t ask u...so u need t apply lots n lots of wisdom her,odawise u mk a mistake
    me sef dnt even knw wat t tel u.

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  5. Madam I fink you should tell her the truth. She is already a teenager and not a baby.
    Well me won't tell you guys when I HAD my first kiss cos I don't wnt to be laughed at. I know what ppl like Ace and Bonario can do. I was 12 sha.

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  6. Anonymous5/12/2013

    Me had my 1st kiss at the age of 17. U can still tell her 18pls not 20.be open 2her and educate her. She came 2 u so don't misuse it.

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  7. I rhink you should just tell her the truth about your own first kiss but you should add that it is advisable, more respectable and dignified to have your first kiss @____ plus she should also note that kissing comes with responsibility explain those ones to her too.

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    Replies
    1. Well said. U took d words out of my mouth. Tell her when u had ur 1st kiss and also mention that u wish u had waited till 18 or 20 coz u didn't understand the responsibilities that cones with it. Also thank her for coming to u 1st as her mother and assure her she should feel free to talk to u if she has further questions or any other thing bothering her. From time to time spend time alone with her, mayb take her out for a snack and ice-cream, mani n pedicure and throw in questions on how shez getting on @ school, if there are any subject areas shez struggling with, friends, boys and if there is any particular reasons she asked u the question about ur 1st kiss. It is very likely she opens up to u and ask her on d way home if she enjoyed d girly day out and if u can have it once every month. Hope this helps.

      Delete
  8. Anonymous5/12/2013

    Just tell her you had your first kiss at 16 she will ask you how it felt tell her it was very very terible and also tell her that if you knew you would have done it at age 22 cos that is d best time from research carried out
    Favour Osowoaye

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/12/2013

      Pls ma don't lie to her.

      Delete
  9. Anonymous5/12/2013

    Just be bold enough n explain somethings about Kiss n sex 2 her. Let her know that those are strictly reserved for Adults. Don't shy away from that sex education, I'm sure she mst have started developing those feminine features dat gets a man wowing. let her knw she can easily get infect with STDs jst through an Ordinary Random kiss. Then U fit arrange face tell am say U had urs at 19 (atleast U 'll be protecting her future n nt jst lying.) Coach her very well in sex education Pls, don't over look it.

    *BTW, what does 1st kiss feel like sef, I'm in my 20s n still a 'Tear rubber' (Virgin.) I'm a boy though n jst feel I should kip myself 4 my true Luv. Bt some Pple thinks I'm foolish, I haven't even tried kissing any gal *covers face.* According to them, Male Virginity doesn't matter, its only Valued in girls. I 've girl frndz though n live off Campus in sch (as free as the wind.) bt I feel I should keep myself n remain pure. My Question is.... Won't my future 'Julieth' Think I'm impo*tent, (I no get problem that side o, I easily get turned on, bt I always subdue it). Does girls really value a Male "tear rubber" or a Playboy? I can be any of them if I choose. *RME*

    VALENTINE.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/12/2013

      male virgin dem no get experience at all at all.

      Delete
    2. Awwww that is soo cute and brave. Its really not abt what pple think its about doing what feels right to you. You choose your own path. This is soo cool.

      Delete
    3. HappyMe!5/13/2013

      "Male tear rubber" is simply d best! If u r blessed wt a female "tear rubber" then WOW! 2 of u can explore n learn 2geda n u wont miss a thing cos, guess what, there'll be no grounds 4 comparison/competition. Besides, d trust wl be 100% wt God's favor following u.
      U might not believe dis but if u ask d Holy Spirit (wn d time comes) He wl teach u sexual styles dat r way out of dis world! Mind u sex is holy n enjoyable in marriage. :D

      Delete
  10. Anonymous5/12/2013

    Tell her 18 cos then she'll be an adult. Datz all.
    If u tell her u had urs @ 16, trust me she'll do same. We always want to do wat our mothers did. For instance, my mum used to use a lot of makeup wen she was young cos I saw d pics. As I was growing up, she stopped it telln me it's bad. But, I started using it in JSS3 (earlier than her sef)
    All her shouts sef didn't stop me.
    So 18 is fine, so dat if she does it earlier dan that, it'll probably be at d same 16.

    -FT

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  11. Anonymous5/12/2013

    I concurr with Ada's suggestion. Tell her d truth abt wen u had urs but give her advise on when it should be, at least, age 20. Also give her ur reasons. She will take ur advise.

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  12. Anonymous5/12/2013

    @ bonario u make me laff... Madam poster u had try by telling her sum home truth in a more mother and daughter way b4 she starts hearing d blunt truth frm friends... MOMA

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  13. Shayor!5/12/2013

    Which one is tell her d truth? Why do ppl take some things to extreme at some funny expense. Kids of nowadays develop faster, if u tell her u kissed at 16, dt will stick and I wnot be surprised if she goes 2 get one 2mrw at 14. For her to have asked, pls know dt she's not asking for the fun of it, a boy must have asked her for a kiss. If u kno I want to be 'Holy' like some pple here, kuku tell her u can't rmbr and tell her to wait till 18. That shld be d ideal age, not like we all dt kissed b4 18 are so proud of it anyway... Pls apply wisdom in dealing with this issue dear, bear in mind dt dis generation is different from ur own generation. All the best at 7pm ....lol

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  14. Sorry my advice is coming in after 7pm! Pls and pls educate her on sex education, she is 14 not 6 oooo she needs to know the abunna that happens btwn a man n a woman! Tell her d truth u had ur kiss but deeply regreted it, it was for a second, terrible etc then connect it to when u whr much older n wiser like 22 or so n explain dat dis second kiss held more meaning bcos of this, that n this. Pls tell her that a kiss may seem innocent n all but a kiss can lead to sex! That's d truth. A kiss can trigger so many emotions n dia is no control it will lead to fondling the breast n all. Basically tell her dat dis kiSs shld be done in a place where ppl r around so dat both of them don't start something up when they are alone. Make sure she is free n comfortable with u, after d talk ask her if she has a boyfrnd, crush etc. Then y she asked u this question. Find out all u need to know jokingly. Subsequently u can talk to her about d core value of being a woman, her dignity etc. Wish u all d best, den pls pray to God to give her wisdom above her peers so that even if they want drag her to do ungodly things she will discern n say No.

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  15. Anonymous5/13/2013

    Thanks everyone, yesterday we had some guests, meeting was postponed to 7pm today. Will update you all.

    ReplyDelete

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