My Mother-In-law Won't Leave

Hello aunt Eya and fellow wc readers. I really need advice fast before I do something I will regret.  My mother in law has been living with me for
about a year now and has refused to leave. She has not gone back home for about three years now , she was living with her first son in Ibadan but while she was there, the son's wife left after eight years of marriage and he told her to leave. 

I went to Ibadan and I saw how she was crying and I felt pity for her and since she was ill, I told her to come with me to Abuja, after she gets well, she can leave. I was thinking after a month because my husband lost his job and we moved from a flat to one room. 

But since she came my marriage has been hell. She controls my house, my husband and everything I do is not good enough. She cooks what she likes and when I cook she does not eat and complains about my meals( am a good cook  ) if I and my husband argue, she supports her son even if he's wrong, she will cook and give him to eat and he will refuse mine, she goes around telling my neighbours about my marriage, she now goes to the market and cooks. 

My husband doesn't talk to me anymore because his mom and him gist a lot . I have called him and told him  about this but he's not responding because his mother told him that if she goes back to the village, she will die. 

We all stay in one room, there's no intimacy in our marriage because she sleeps next to us and even in the day time,she's there. Now she is telling me she will not leave her son's house. What do I do?

Comments

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/04/2013

      She should leave?? What kind of advice is that one? If she leaves,she can as well leave for a very long time. Is it the care and condition the mom is giving him that he will miss. When the mom is giving him most of the care he needs. Stay put there.

      Delete
    2. Yvonne5/04/2013

      leave to where? abeg o. dis story be like africa magic film. woww. pls be praying o. notin God cannot do. when I dont want something I tell God to take it away. you'l be surprised she will say shes going herself. try to bond with ur husband again sha and beg him.

      Delete
  2. #lesson to me&everyone-NEVER invite all these family members to your home!!!
    Please don't leave your home oh.she seems to have a calling for scattering her children's marriages!!....Start waking up in d middle of d night to pray loudly,I'm hoping that will make her uncomFortable...be shoutin holy ghost fire&pray normally but loudly every night...she may runn

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/04/2013

      Seconded

      Delete
    2. Anonymous5/04/2013

      Thirded...your mother inlaw may be a WINSHHH..So pray and fast well..I feel your pain..Take heart dear

      Delete
    3. Anonymous5/04/2013

      Mother in law wahala.....lol. My dear poster, go ye no where!!!!!u have to possess ur possession....Like other posters said start prayers ASAP; daily fire devotion_ mountain of fire.
      2: as per the privacy thing;is hubby still interested in you??? If yes, give it to him right there with mother in law,na the woman go run
      3: act soooo strong,pretend as if shes not getting to your skin, if she notices shes dealing with you,she ll b happy n do more.
      4: if she cooks n serves hubby,my dear wash your hands n,pray,n chop pass them.....hahaaaaa.thank her for the sumptious meal,ask if shes cooking tomorrow so u dont bother cos shes such a great cook.
      5: kaiii am loving this topic cos I had my mum inlaw for 1 yr with me and OMG......if u mention coming to my place,shes d one that runs away, and to crown it all ,am now called (ADA BEKEE,ADA MADU).......so dearest poster pray,sing praises out while in the house to distract you from them, n stand firm to enjoy ur marriage.

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    4. Ahhhhh love this advise

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    5. Anon 7:11 has said it all.


      www.soulspasms.com

      Delete
    6. Anonymous5/04/2013

      FOURTHED

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    7. kendra5/04/2013

      Anon 7:11,me like u advice,especially the give it to him in her presence(LooooooooL) rolling on the floor

      Delete
    8. Anonymous5/04/2013

      Am so loving this advice....in fact get the contact of this adviser for more tips

      Delete
    9. Yvonne5/04/2013

      thumbs up!

      Delete
    10. BEKEEH5/04/2013

      Me love d advice hehehehehe!my sister also use Akpako prayer pursue ur MONSTER-LAW , I bet u she go run pass BOLT.

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    11. I had no idea what to even think till I read Anon 7:11's comment.
      God bless you for this!

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    12. Oremi, this ur advice na 10/10. I never saw it posible this way. I pray I don't have this type of mother inlaw trouble but if I do, this advice will come in handy.

      Delete
  3. Don't make d mistake of leaving ur home, cos anytin might happen. Just continue to pray for ur Family n seek advice from an eldely couple or pastor so u don't take d wrong decision. The lord almighty will see u true n hear ur cry. Be strong n hold on.

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  4. kendra5/04/2013

    Don't leave ur house o. I think u should become more prayerful o cos some mother inlaws are just out there to destrroy there son's marriage.

    And right now,u and ur hubby don't nEed. Company at all. She sef,if she's nt out there to destroy ur marriage,she won't still be there seeing her son lost his job and stays in a room,she sjould know u all need ur privacy

    Pls go into serious prayer and fasting,do more of mid night if u can,that should make her uncomfortable and pls don't forget to tell God to destroy every agent that has been sent to destroy ur home.. Make sure theHoly Ghost First is loud biko.. She needs to leave Asap. (**angry smiley).

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  5. This mother in law reminds me of a role patience ozokwor can act very well! Pls n pls don't leave d house. Put her in prayers, but I don't know y she will sleep in d same room with u n hub! Haba I can't even imagine so that means there is no small abunnan! As they said one its 1 or 2 wake up and start ur prayers, when she cooks wash hand n eat oooo at least she will save u stress of cooking, besides u both cooking daily will tell on ur finances aii. Anyway when she has gone don't forget to tell us ooo! So we can laugh!

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  6. treasure5/04/2013

    Abeg oh no go anywhere. Na she go go.start with midnight prayers btw 12 and 1.praise God well.2.prayer well.3.speak in tongues( power dey AM)4.Pls buy prayer rain by Dr.d.k OLUKOYA( MFM)and power of a praying wife by stormie omatarin.if you want to take charge of your home and help your hubby get back on his feet: Pray oh.the enemy hates peaceful homes and ANY willing individual can be used as a tool.you can even borrow from a friend. Our battles are best fought on our knees than with our lips.ma'am this storm will pass.we await your testimony.

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  7. @anon 7:11am so loving your advice, and lol @ Ada bekee, please to poster do not leave your matrimonial home for your mother inlaw, and pls still show her love and care as you would do to your mum.
    Watch and pray fervently, subject yourself to fasting for a while, it works wonders. Eeeeeh but if mama no want peace then give her pieces, yes I said so, and pls you and ur hubby should do abunna in her presence after all its her son and you are a woman like her nothing is new, no body will tell her to dust her slippers and return to the village.
    I pray your hubby gets a job soon. Good luck

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  8. Johnson5/04/2013

    Mama, for some reason, is bad news... there's something wrong somewhere! Her children's home having challenges when she's around - maybi dem dey follow mama from village… It is possible that na the woman dem wan punish, but make you no take your head carry the mata.
    I like some of the advice already given: midnight prayers (use MFM prayer points). But sha o, be discrete in the prayer points o. No mention mama's name. Pray for husband's prosperity, peace in your home, God to uproot any plant He has not planted in your life, the life of your husband, in your home - HOLY GHOST FIRE!!
    Get pastors to pray with you - anoint your house, when you're alone.

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  9. Anon 7:11,I love your comment! Lol @ giving it to him in mama's presence.
    Poster,please don't leave your home o. As others have said,just pray very well to send her back to her house.
    All the best to your family.

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  10. Anonymous5/04/2013

    @Ada bekee ur so on point. Ma dear act indifferent to all her antics. Be prayerfull. Always pleed the blood of Jesus upon urself a̶̲̥̅̊ñ̷̊D̶̲̥̅̊ ur hubby. About the food part. Pls when S̶̲̥̅♓ǝ̥̥ cooks make sure Ʊ pray. a̶̲̥̅̊ñ̷̊D̶̲̥̅̊ eat o!!!! I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ the midst of all T̲̣̣̥hĩ̷̊s. Pain. Smile often(the joy of the. Lord Ȋ̝̊̅§ ur strenght) ur. Joy. And strenght W̶̲̥̅̊ȋ̊ƪƪ chase. Her. Out.
    Vicky

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  11. I shouldn't have an opinion on everything...
    Let the women fire on!


    Hehehehehehehe....

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  12. Anonymous5/04/2013

    A man who can see that his mother is clearly coming inbtw himself n his wife and does nothing,might not be cooperative with his wife if she tries using som antics lik making out with him in the mum's presence. He might just push her away n embarass her.He cld even oppose her praying loudly at night,fight n quarel wit her.And mama wld smile.
    I'll giv my advice: take ur husband out, to a nice quiet place,e.g a park, pour out ur heart to him, ensure u talk lovingly(not fight),if possible cryyyy very well eh,tell him u appreciate him,u love him so much, but that mama staying ds long is really affecting ur relationshp wit him and that u are so sorry but u have to give him an ultimatum,that if mama doesn't leave b4 so so time, u'll hv to leave him for a while till she goes.(Just a threat, u don't hv to carry it out).
    If ur hubby says he is scared of mama dying if she returns,explain to him that her being in d city doesn't prolong her life.her medication n all can be sent to her wherever she is. Besides there shd b other persons mama can visit n stay a while with nau...She must b a very wicked woman.
    Above all,keep being prayerful.

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  13. Anonymous5/04/2013

    important question. Aunty Eya please post. Is it right or normal for a mother in law to cook in her son's house under any circumstances?

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  14. Aunty Eya pls my. Mother inlaw visited what can I buy for her as a take home gift?

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    Replies
    1. Pls I need ans to dis question

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    2. Anonymous5/30/2013

      It depends. You can buy her food stuff depending on where she is coming from. I usually Buy wrapper or lace for my mother inlaw, food stuff like crayfish, ogbono, stockfish e.t.c

      Just buy what you know you will give to your mum if she comes around.

      Delete
  15. Anonymous5/13/2013

    This is a tough question, because your marriage success depends on you and your husband. He may be finding comfort in his mother simply because he is not working, and she flatters him with some nonsense sweet talk. Take note: If you disagree with your husband, it will give her a point to mark against you, and he will not take it very friendly now simply because he will interpret it in different ways, not just in the line of what both of you disagree, but also because he may think you don't respect him since he is not working, and most mother-in-laws use that as an arm against their son's wives. First: Try to regain his affection and find a way to make him your confidant again.(Remind him of the sweet moments you shared before her coming, and reassure him of your respect and loyalty even in difficult times - including her presence) Second: Try to avoid or even never disagree with him. You may not agree with everything he does, but share your feeling and opinion very respectfully, and if he shows indignation towards your idea or feeling, reassure him that you are not against him, just that you feel it will be to both of your benefit if it were that way, and that he can go on without taking your opinion. If he picks a fight, (the bitter pill to swallow) try to leave the scene for a while without responding or if you have to respond, take the blow and go for him to calm down, then you can assure him you will never fight him. Third: Be very prayerful, but don't make a scene to annoy them (it may only make things worse). You can wake up in the night to pray, but do so silently, even talk to God and cry silently, and your husband will notice your plight. Fourth: Be very friendly with her, even if she insults you, be humble and do not backfire. Fifth: Like someone said earlier, try to find time with him alone and always pour out your heart to him (especially if you have touched his soft spot). Always remind him of how you love him, and of how he used to love you from the beginning. Avoid the sex part in her presence, cos most men will not even erect in the presence of a mother-in-law, and that may create more problems. Sixth: Avoid taking so many advice from people about your issue, cos applying many things can cause confusion. You may want to confide in someone who is older than you, who you respect very much and whom you are sure is very God-fearing. Seventh: Leave everything to God, and it will soon end.

    Take heart my sister.

    ReplyDelete

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