Letting Go


Letting go!!

You probably had a very caring father while growing up. One who supplied everything and anything even before you asked; One who was always there for your mum, for you and your siblings; was a role model(in every sense of the word); one who always came home right from work and one who always saw the glow in your mum’s eyes irrespective of the times and seasons.
May I congratulate you because this is quite rare to me. I grew up
without a father in the house and even as I type, I remember sometimes when I really would’ve loved to have my father around me. Mum was and is wonderful. I owe my life to her, she is my source of strength and she is my all. The words ‘I love my mum’ seem devoid of its meaning at times like this.
My father was not with me growing up; he didn’t stay with me when I needed fatherly advice. I remember long ago when I told my dad ‘Whenever I think of a kind of you, I get scared to even consider marriage’. The poor man could only mouth ‘I’m sorry’ with tears freely flowing from his eyes. How could I have been so selfish? Irrespective of what happened with him and my mom, I should still love him, or shouldn’t I? Isn’t that what the good book says? After all, he is still and will still be my dad.
I’m much older now and I regret that statement and have since apologized. No! My father is not with us still and I do not hate him for it. Instead, I pray for him and pray some more that God should guide me in choosing a man after His heart for me- My own man.
I’m shouting out to my father, dad I love you; Yes! You offended me and offended my mum as well. Oh and my brothers can’t get over how badly you hurt them but here I am saying I let it all go Dad. I love you and will always love you. My father is not a saint and neither am I.
We let go of people in forgiveness for ourselves, not necessarily for those who hurt us. Why allow people live rent free in your heart? More so, what do we really stand to gain bearing such hate and hurt in our hearts? Please tell me, what?
I’m deciding to let go because I have been taught to, not only my father but to all my friends, my colleagues, my acquaintances. After all, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
You too can do the same, irrespective of what the person has done or how badly it hurt. I haven’t said it's easy forgiving but trust me; no one said it would be easy, they only said it would be worth it.
Make up your mind, Let go and Let God.
Have a BeaYouTeaFull week
Hugs…
FolaShade!

Comments

  1. Johnson5/13/2013

    Thanks ‘Shade - you’re not alone in this.
    I knew my dad more than he knew me, though I NEVER lived with him. Can’t remember him ever visiting till I was in secondary school. Remembered visiting him while I was in lower secondary and he could not recognize me – he actually asked who I was looking for!
    I am his first male child and my dad never bought me a toy, talk-less of ever paying my school fees (from primary through to the university). He was not a poor man. I hated him for this and vowed never to be anything like him… easier said than done.
    Luckily, I met another FATHER who taught me all things I know to be a good man and He gave me all that I needed. He taught me to love my dad and the need to reconcile with him… I was glad I did! I had the opportunity to show love to a dad that never cared and to present to him a FATHER that was/is always there for me. My dad knew I found Christ before he died and was happy I did cos he was totally forgiven and loved by the child he never cared for.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/13/2013

      Jonhson pls do u no any favor

      Delete
    2. Johnson5/13/2013

      @Anon 7:08, not sure I know any Favor who can relate to my story.
      Any particular reason for asking?

      Delete
  2. Brandy5/13/2013

    My dad is d best. He showed me how to love and handle a home. He is evritin to me. God pls bless me wit a man lyk my Daddy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HappyMe!5/14/2013

      *sigh* Irony of life!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous5/14/2013

      Lucky u.. @ Brandy

      Delete
  3. Nice one Fola. Letting go is all.

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  4. Thanks Folashade. God bless you for this post!

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  5. Anonymous5/13/2013

    Thanks for sharing Folashade. Someone somewhere needed to read this. You are a strong woman and its by God's grace that you have made this decision. I pray that you find a good husband that will love and be there for you and your own kids.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The picture I remember most of my dad, was that horrible trip from lagos to uromi in edo state, mom was driving I and my brother alone in her car, my older ones had left for the villa a day ealier!

    I was only about 3 or 4 years old about then, my moms car broke down somewhere along the road, where it broke down was a very thick forest, we left her and followed another car that stopped to help her, coincidentally the occupants where heading for the same Uromi and same reason we were going there!

    We got there very late, and from the car we were rushed to his grave side to perform the dust-to-dust. Something in me knew something was wrong, but I was not frisky, I was eating fish head later on that night with so much passion.

    Recently I remembered all that happened that night, and just recently I realize so much what I missed the day he left this world. He was only 30 then.

    Nuff'Siad
    rest on Dad!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ehyaa...sorry for your loss. God will always be with you.

      Delete
    2. @Ace, It is well. God will protect and keep you to see your Grand children.

      Delete
    3. Amen & Thanks a lot @aunty Eya!

      Delete
  7. Anonymous5/13/2013

    Ace u just made me cry, I can only say it is well. OYin

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thanks @Ahdaisy! Went to ur profile today to get ur email, but it appears you don't have on ur profile, plz mail me "djbentley01@gmail.com" then I'll reply.

    Thanks


    *Winks...

    ReplyDelete
  9. *Hugs* Folashade. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Shayor!5/13/2013

    I wish my mom is like my dad, my mom is d exact opposite of all oda mothers I see around. I love my dad to pieces. He brought me up and taught me all I know. His selfless love for his kids, his standing by us tru thick and thin...I love u daddy...u r d bestest and I owe u a lot, pls remain alive, hale and hearty for me..I go take care of u shege! My mom n I never get along cos its too late! I don't even want 2 get along sef, make she dey her own, make I dey my own!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Trust me those who have parents who care about them should count themselves lucky. I have the most selfish mother in the world yet I love her. I also have the most selfish father in the world yet I love him. I love him because as selfish as he is, he knows that we are his future hence the reason I am where I am today. Apart from that, really if I had the chance to come to this world again, I will not pick my parents. Imagine having to fend for yourself since the age of 12. Yup that's me and my siblings. Today we have all drawn strength from it but it has affected us psychologically as we all can be very antisocial.

    I promised myself that choosing a husband is one thing I will take my time doing 'cause I want my kids to grow up in a happy environment. I believe the worst disease in life is not having your parents there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  12. Fyn Ijebu Chic5/14/2013

    Wen I saw this topic I tot I was hw to get recover from the loss of loved ones. I guess I also have to let go. My dad was the best. He literally struggle for his children to make it in life. He was the only person who understood me. He had dreams for me bt still supported myn. He always wanted to see me in NYSC uniform bt he neva did. Death took him away a week after I graduated. Wen he died, sometin died in me.I still cry after 2yrs dat he left.I didn't even get to say gudbye. Reading this, I feel I was lucky enuff, @ least I got fatherly love for a while. I knw the dead can't read bt I love my dad, his memories can't be erase. Wen I bcome dat great person, I will gladly tell d world abt him. My dad wasn't a saint(he had alcoholic iSsues) bt he took care of his children. Saint or Sinner, he was simply d best.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous5/14/2013

    @ fin u just made cry, how touching. The almighty will continue to console u

    ReplyDelete
  14. lauryn5/14/2013

    Iv been following dis blog 4 months now and hv been truly blessed but never commented on any post but this post right here got me.
    U see my dad was never there 4 me or my mom,they had their own issues (an epistle on its own)and he used dat as an excuse 2 "punish" me.
    He went on 2 marry and hv other kids and enjoyed his life while my mum had 2 do everything possible 2 gv me d best and at times when I'll really upset her she'll get frustrated and scream dat she didn't beg God for me o..(Lol)..she refused 2 remarry as she didn't want anyone 2 maltreat me,hmm such sacrifice.
    fastforward 2 several yrs later,my father now sick and looking up 2 me..did d best I could but with so much resentment and anger plus d fact dat he wasn't remorseful..had a screaming match one day and refused 2 go see him, heard he died several days later,did my best 4 his burial and everyone moved on.
    But deep inside of me I feel dat I didn't mk peace with him and I should hv cos I'm a child of God I really should knw better but its 2 late now. How do I go abt dis? Cos I want 2 mk heaven o...
    So sory 4 d epistle(dis is a blog post sef,no vex aunty Eya)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous5/14/2013

    @ folashade, why did u have to bring this post up? Whyyyy????. Ur post making me feel guilty.

    My dad walked out on us 9yrs ago because he ws having financial difficulties. He said he couldn't cope with d responsilites n he abandoned my mother wit 5kids.I am d eldest and had just gained admission into d university to study Medicine. My younger ones still in pry n sec sch then. We wer stranded.

    My mum was a govt secondary sch teacher.She struggled and made sure we all continued wit our education n become somebody in life. We wer determined to face our education to make her proud.

    Today,by God's grace we are successful and doing well in our professions( I am a Doctor,my bro is a pharmacist,sibling next to him is doin her Nysc now, last two are abt finishing sec sch.)

    Now, guess what? My father resurfaces after so many yrs and wants a relationship wit us. How is that possible? We tld him we forgiven him for leaving us, bt things can't ever be d same again. Now,he's like a stranger to us.

    Before he left us, he ws highly abusive(physically, verbally n emotionally) to us his children n our mum. Til today, he's stil as arrogant as ever. he's not changed one bit. Even worse. Not remorseful or repentant.

    How do I say I have forgiven him, but I still can't let go.??

    ReplyDelete

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