Is It OK To Be In Touch With Your Exes?


Hi Aunty Eya, how are you?
I want your readers to answer this question.

Please, is it ever Ok to be in touch with your exes as a married woman or man? Under what
circumstance is that? 

This question has been asked several times in different places but I want to know what your readers think. Can you really be friends with an ex you slept with, with no strings attached?

Comments

  1. yes u can. This question is subjective becos it depends on the individuals. i for one, my ex is still one of my bestfriends because we were friends even before we started dating. datIng didnt work, and because he is a really good guy,i cudnt throw d friendship away as well. i've let my present boo understand the situation.. they have even met and are in talking terms at the moment. i dont ever make it seem like i still have some unhidden feelings somewhere. whatever i do, i do it out in the open.i talk to my ex in the presence of my boo just d way i'd talk to any other friend. he knows he doesnt have anything to worry about. but if u knw u still have some form of feelings for your ex, BURN THE BRIDGES!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/24/2013

      smh

      Delete
    2. mrs anon4/07/2014

      Marriage is unique relationship. It's not like brother and sister or other relationships. True love comes with the feeling of exclusivity. No room for sharing at all. If that exclusivity is threatened in anyway it creates a dysfunction. No matter how nice or accepting a spouse is of an ex, there is always a potential for suspicion that can arise later. The question is why is it so important to keep the ex around after choosing another person for LIFE ... only you can answer that question...

      Delete
  2. Anonymous5/24/2013

    Ama,u r very right. I told my fiance abt my ex and i arranged a meeting between dem. They r best of friends. He calls and we talk just d way i do to all my friends. There's nothing intimate between us. My wedding is in 2month time and he's d one that paid for the reception venue,decor and video coverage after due permission from my fiance. I pray to God to give him a good woman like me so dat he'll be fulfilled(i praise myself cos i know am good. Lol),and i pray he'll find that special one in my wedding. Even my fiance prays for him too. We were both As that's why we have to let go.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/24/2013

      Your ex paid for reception, venue, decor, etc for your wedding? Wow. I hope you're this considerate and don't fail to give due permission to your husband when his ex decides to start cooking for him and coming to visit.

      Delete
    2. Lol. Maybe his ex will buy her gown and wedding rings.

      Madam, let me be honest with you. Be afraid of your husband. Be very afraid. A man that allows his wife's ex to pay for the wedding venue, decor, etc is either shying away from his responsibilities or waiting patiently until you're married to show you original pepper.

      I don talk my own.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous5/24/2013

      lolzzzz, please tell the two women deceiving themselves!

      Delete
    4. Very soon ur ex will help ur husby to impregnant u...yeye dey smell

      Delete
    5. Anonymous5/24/2013

      Hey......LOL.neva knew some pple had d same tot as mine in ds issue.ds 2 ladies r just funny esp d 2 one. I no fit shout when yawa go gas.

      Delete
    6. Duchess5/24/2013

      @anon, i bet ur EX is richer than my Paddy Adenuga o... I dey laf u ni o. Wish you can open your eyes wide to see what your hubby is planning! You have succeeded in drowning his EGO. Scented yeye dey smell ooo

      Delete
    7. ****Mufasa Said5/24/2013

      My dear let me tell u what u av done, u av sucEeded in killing the respect ur EX will eva have 4 ur marriage and husband! U av lost ur respect already in his eyes! Trust me, 2mrw, if he starts visiting and ur husband suddenly gets uncomfortable wt it, he will shut him up wt d statement" guy wats ur problem, I practically sponsored ur weddin"! U see what osho free dey cause? U were blinded by ur lust for freebies! And he will def brag about it 2 his friends!! It would av been beta to collect d moni than allow him pay 4 those things. That way he can't lay claim to anything specific that he did on ur weddin day (In my own opinion)
      Babes sha, always wanting to eat their cakes and have it. After nw I hope u don't go and ask him for money to go shopping for food stuff!

      ****Mufasa Said

      Delete
    8. Anonymous5/24/2013

      Lol,madam ojukokoro,let me tell u wat I suspect.ur husband is nt d kind dat talks too much.bt I feel dat wat u r doing to him he will surely do back to u wen u guys r married.just watch and see.wen one woman starts buying clothes 4 ur future children,pls dnt cry ooo.I feel sorry for ur husband,u just rubbished him.

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    9. Wait, u pray to God to give him a 'good' woman like u? I believe by 'good' here u mean someone dat will not prevent him frm still spending his money on u abi? Cos believe me, no woman will be happy if he comes in2 his life and meets u there lying down in his pocket.

      Delete
    10. Anonymous5/25/2013

      i thnk allowing an ex to pay 4 d wedd venue showed disrespect to ur hubby.men have big egos n blive me one day ur hubby will bring it up.evn if d ex was d one dt suggested it,u shd have politely n nicely declined.ur ex will alwaz feel dt he s better than ur hubby and ur hubby will alwaz have a tiny doubt in hs heart abt u n ds guy...

      Delete
    11. Anonymous5/28/2013

      Venue, decor and video coverage. Seriously iam afraid of you hubby 4allowing an ex do these stuff.

      Emerald

      Delete
  3. To me, no. You can bump into each other and be civil on social media but going out of your way to be in touch with an ex is unnecessary IMO. An ex is an ex for a reason. There's a reason they didn't make it into your present

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/24/2013

      LIKE!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous5/24/2013

      LIKE 2!

      Delete
    3. Anonymous5/24/2013

      LIKE 3,4,5 N 6

      Delete
    4. Anonymous5/24/2013

      Like 7-50 lol

      Delete
    5. Like!liker!!likest!!!

      Delete
  4. I don't see anything wrong with it. Like a poster above said, it's subjective. I currently have 2 of my exes on my BB. What am I saying, they're both my only exes but we've all moved on. Hello/hi etc. Since there's no feelings involved anymore, we're just friends.
    Was in a serious financial challenge recently and an ex came thru. So it all depends on each peculiar case.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/25/2013

      I am sure he wil expect payment in the nearest future....in kind

      Delete
  5. I smile when I see some comments cos people who support it are the ones doing it. That you are doing it does not make it right. I cringe when I hear someone say they are best friends with their ex. Then what is ur husband? Or wife? Or ur fiance?

    People justify it saying they have no emotional attachment to their ex. I see that as speaking from both sides of ur mouth. Except he/she is the only person you dated before u got married, why is it that this particular person is the only ex you are so close to? What is he/she offering you dat no other person in the world can offer?

    I keep saying there are like 7bn people in the world. About 2bn of those people are men or women you can have a 'platonic' relationship with. Why ur ex?

    To me, it is wrong, whether ur spouse is ok with it or not. If you cnt do away with the person, then there is something extra there that you are lying to urself about. It is even worse when ur spouse is not ok with it. Some people tell their ex all that is going on in their homes. That is bad. Whether good or bad news, it is non of their business. For crying out loud, you had sex with this person. I dnt knw, but I just can't get passed that. You might say, you cannot sleep with ur ex cos you know the repercussion. Na lie! Knowing the repercussions never stopped anyone that cheated from doing so. If the environment and timing is conducive, all ur sense of right and wrong will fly away fast!

    There's nothing wrong in being civil with such person when you 'bump' into the person like MissB said. Ur friendship with ur ex shud be at the barest minimum. MO sha...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/24/2013

      Me like this!!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous5/24/2013

      LIKE 2!

      Delete
    3. Anonymous5/24/2013

      Seconded!
      Pinky

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    4. sister5/24/2013

      @ahda take 5 !well said.

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    5. very correct ghonn.....as far as i am concerned, its too risky keeping any form a relationship with ur ex, especially the ones u really loved. the truth remains that true love never dies.

      Delete
  6. Anonymous5/24/2013

    Pls somebody help, what can I do to stop missing my ex? I think I still have feelings for him, he never hurt me in anyway but I still dnt understand why I didn't marry him, we no longer communicate, but he is stuck in my memory, I'm now with d best man anybody can wish 4 but y cnt I stop thinkn abt my ex....*crying*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/24/2013

      ole ni e there are millions who would have shown the man you married true love..if you dint love him why marry him and now complain..Why dint you marry someone you had feelings for?? your said EX Ole ni e ole and may GOD punish you for putting your husband thru torture by even thinking about your EX..Nonsense..

      Delete
    2. Anonymous5/24/2013

      U pple will not kill the me.
      Rotfl

      Delete
    3. Anonymous5/24/2013

      LOLZZZZZZZZZZ

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    4. Anonymous5/24/2013

      Enough drama!

      Delete
  7. Anonymous5/24/2013

    For me I don't see anyfin wrong wif it,if relationships doznt work out btwn two adults its nt a reason 2 disown the person totally. No mata d hurt or bad attitudes,our christianity lies in forgiving them n moving on,talking 2 dem evry now n den as long as its innocent. That d person is ur ex doesn't make them monsters,it jst means ur aint sopozd 2 b in a r/ship bt can u be friends? For me,I'd say ofcourse#ugo#

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/24/2013

      Please do not bring Christianity into this matter! we humans can justify anything as long as it satisfies our selfish goal! like williams, thought she was a true christian from all her holy holy talk, only to find she is a not from her above comment!

      Delete
  8. Anonymous5/24/2013

    Hmmn!!! I think it depends on the people involved & their circumstances. Keeping in touch may not be bad provided their spouses know about it & are not excluded from conversations between d two.
    However, this 'I'm bestfriends with my ex' matter is not good at all o!!! It shows u have very little regard for ur husband who is supposed to be ur closest pal & confidant.
    Any woman who is that involved with their ex should know here & now that they have to work on their relationship with their husbands before the man too provoke & retaliate!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. People must learn to enter into a marriage relationship completely single, single in that you don't carry loads of ex this, ex that. " my ex is my best friend" that is rubbish, very soon they will become the only shoulder to lean on when your spouse hurts you, even when you've gotten over them, can you say the same of your ex, don't you think there is a reason they keep sticking around you, even when they know you are taken, some ex'es can really be obsessed, give them the distance they need and they won't have an option than to move on stop being selfish, for the lady whose ex is paying for almost every thing for her wedding , Issorait i hope you will be ok if his EX offers to pay for HIS WEDDING SUIT, I wonder the kind of man that will swallow his Ego and let another man do most of this things for him, knowing that it is coming from his wife's EX, For the Ex in question: i pity the unfortunate lady that will fall into your hands, cos the presence of your so called EX, will always be felt. wishing him a great hook up at the wedding and in the next few months we will get question like: "How do i get my ex off my mind, my marriage is suffering". and for you lady, expect this drama in three months:
    WIFE: Honey you are always on phone with your EX, for God sake you are a married man, and i don't like the way she keeps showering you with gifts.
    Husband: (surprised)Baby is anything wrong with that?
    WIFE: I'm not comfortable with that.
    HUSBAND: (laughs)See kettle calling pot black, please don't go there.
    WIFE: (logs on to wives connection) please aunty Eya i need help, my husband's Ex is tearing my home apart, pls hide my I.D.
    loool trust W.C. readers we will always be of help.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/24/2013

      Lmao!
      You're mean!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous5/24/2013

      Lolzzzzzzzzzzz! so meannnnn!

      Delete
    3. Anonymous5/24/2013

      Hahhahahhaha! Me likey jare. I just edited this and Ahdaisy's comment.
      Pinky

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    4. Anonymous5/24/2013

      Sooo hilarious!!

      Delete
    5. Anonymous5/24/2013

      hahahahaha...hehehehehehe...

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    6. Anonymous5/24/2013

      I love you.. Laugh wan tear my belle!!

      Delete
    7. Anonymous5/24/2013

      Lmaooo dis is so funny! Hahahahahahaha! O ga o. Lmaooo

      Delete
  10. Anonymous5/24/2013

    This poster just spoke my mind. Plz I need help on how to either stop him from being in contact with her or just believe what he told me.
    My fiance is in good communication terms with his ex'. Accordind to him, the family was like his second home. He has known them for like 25yrs but only dated d girl for 6yrs before they seperated based on irreconcilable differences. Now they are friends and his reasons are dat he needs the girl to help him calm the hearts of her family. He has even gone to her house to tell her family how sorry he was dat tins didn't turn out well for them bt even at dat he feels her family is not happy towards him.
    He now assured me dat they are not dating anymore but he feels the girl needs help so he's tryn to help her out now as a family but never as a lover. My own is dat I have bin so worried and each time she calls him I will be feeling jealous even though ve made up my mind dat that one is d least of my problem. I try not to allow dat bother me maybe its becuz I trust him to an extent.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/24/2013

      williams and anonymous do you hear? you could also be the cause of another woman's problem. let ex be ex!

      Delete
  11. Anonymous5/24/2013

    honestly, it is wrong to be in touch with ur ex, i once thought i could be friends with my ex but he keeps using it as an opportunity to come back into my life even though he is married. abeg let sleeping dog lye! else it will definitely cause a problem in the future for u.

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    Replies
    1. True talk my sister. Let ex remain ex and "now" be "now". To avoid "stories that touch". I no fit shout o.

      Delete
  12. Hell to d No.*sarcastic smiley*. Ex means past and they shud remain dere, simple!. Old flames can always rise up weda u want it to or not. Remember d sayin the mind is willin buh d body is weak. Its a difft case for singles buh married ppl shud pls let dir exs go, biko.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/25/2013

      Those bad/evil men and women will ungodly tell you that it is not bad only bc that is actully what they are into forgeting that you should give your spouse all in line with the scripture which said that man/woman should live your mother and father to clave to your hus or wife. Who is ex and of what use is he in your Present life. Maybe you have not really told us what you want from him/her. Mind you our heavenly father hears your discussions, plans,feelings and will surely use it against you in the end time. Your spouse mighty know what you do in his absence mind you all the days are for the robber while one day will suely be for the owner of the body. Say the truth and be saved. Thanks to all.

      Delete
  13. Anonymous5/24/2013

    Lololol mogbe u guys can cure hypertension. Oyin

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  14. Anonymous5/25/2013

    Pls don't pretend ex should not be near, anything can happen at the list opportunity. Be warned.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous5/25/2013

    just bcos u burn d briges wit Ųя ex, does nt mean u r maliciousn, it just means u rr walking a different path.mƔ ex cald  one day and for all d world all d feelings came bak after  concersations. We had bn over for abt 10yrs that if an angel had told ♍ε̲̣̣, there will stil be feelings, i'd say its a lie. Listen, we neva slept togeda or did anytin intimate but d feelings stil came. Dnt deceive urself, d heart is deceitful, u may think ah! There's notin, its a lie.to d person dt said, an ex isn't a monster, TRUE, just like everybody else who isn't Ųя friend isn't. Friendship isn't about emotions, its about concrete reasoning of choice. U choose or nt choose. To d one who can't get her ex off her mind, things die wen they r starved. Dnt feed Ųя feelings, thjey'l die. Feelings can be fickle, they'l make u believe u ccant do without, dts a lie. U r not Ųя feelings, u r a concrete human individual and must see urself as a stabilized force on d earth. Speak to urself and make sound decision based  wat u knw and nt wat u feel.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mrs anon4/07/2014

      Gbam! You have said it all. dont feed ur feelings. Just that ur abbreviations na wa....

      Delete
  16. Anonymous5/25/2013

    it is wrong.my ex n i started chattin and pinging each oda and b4 u knew it,i started thinking abt him,started feeling i shd hav married him instead,bt funny enof in my heart of hearts i knew i wud neva have been happy wt hm bcos he s nt my kind of man(i like dem gentle n classy which my hubby is).i started lookin at my hubby,s gentility as weakness bt thank God 4my head.i told myslf d truth,stopped chattin wt hm,n now if we chat m able to SEE clearly(lol)so my dears being very close with exes is an affair waiting to happn

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  17. Anonymous5/25/2013

    True talk my dear. The old flame will always be rekindled

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  18. Anonymous5/25/2013

    I hate my ex so much dat even if he calls me 20times a day...no feelings can eva arise...yet i broke all contacts with him....

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  19. Anonymous5/25/2013

    My ex's are very nice to me oh, they call me once in a while, and I'm always grateful for their calls becos each time, they make my day... Dear WC fellas, my marriage is so boring enh, dunno what to do! My hubby is so local.. The things I hate most, are the things he does most. Whenever I bring these to his notice, he dosn't seem to care... I trust God will cause a change in his life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/26/2013

      you have to totally accept ur hubby as he is.dnt try to make make him conform to an image you have in your head.if u do,u ll c dt its nt as badas u think..cheers

      Delete

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