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I Need Help With This Bad Habit

Hello Eya and fellow blog readers, I have been quiet for too long, can't seem to hold
it in any longer. I need help with pornography. I am a guy but enjoy reading this blog a lot. I'm in a relationship and would love to settle down soon but I have a serious problem. I am addicted to porn sites. There is no day I don't go watch. It's very embarrassing and because of this, I can't  leave my office door open. 

Every time I sit in front of a computer, there is an urge to open a porn site. I always swab between this site and whatever site I need at that moment. It is so embarrassing and demeaning that I pray my boss does not catch me in this act. When someone knocks or I sense a movement towards me, I quickly open another window to continue with my porn when the intruder leaves. It is affecting my whole being. I am no longer as productive in my job as I used to be.

My fiancee has no idea and I pray it ends because she is the type that may just snap and dump me if she finds out. December last year I promised myself that was going to be my last month with viewing naked men and women. 
In January, I wrote down my New Year Resolution and stood strong for four months, till April. This month it has become really overwhelming for me. I find myself going back there, then feeling so guilty afterwards. I have been praying for strength to overcome the habit. The way my fiancee frequents my place these days I fear she may be trying to find out why I am always online. This thing gives me so much bad pleasure. 

My fiance and I agreed on "No sex before marriage" and the only reason I am not bothered is because I derive my pleasure viewing online. I need to completely STOP and I need advise too on how to cope when I finally stop. I wouldn't want to pester my fiance after going into an agreement with her. Going to my pastor w'd  mean exposing myself. If I can get help this way I'd rather not expose myself.

Eya and my good people on the blog please advise me on how to stop this act completely and how to keep clean afterwards.  
Thank you all.
Dave.

Comments

  1. How do I advise u, when I'm a victim too? will sit back and read the advise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/13/2013

      Hahaha @ Dave..#Epic

      Delete
  2. Anonymous5/13/2013

    My dear, PRAY yourself out of it. Get closer to God. Sorry I'm gonna be sounding religious but that's the only way out! Buy a Bible if don't have one before (that's if you are a christian). Whenever the urge comes, start binding it IJN. And whenever you are bored, less busy or feel like watching something, pick your bible and open any page. Start praying my brother, if possible sef, unsunscribe ur BIS and go internet-less for a while.
    Prayer is your answer dear. I just finished praying with you now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/13/2013

      Goin offline would av bin d best bet 4him bt am sre he won't b able to asper work!oga u nid2open up 2ur madam,n tell her how much u nid 2stop it.if she loves u,dumping u cos u re addicted 2porn won't cross her mind,she's d1 dat can caution u n give u more attention dat wud take ur mind off it!its not easy but its possible

      Delete
  3. Was kinda confused when I read the part u stated you have a girlfriend and still involved in this act,before I saw were you said u both vowed not to have sex till after marriage.
    The issue of mastubation is quite predominant among the unmarried folks,reason coz our society is filled with materials that arouse your sexual consciousness and while the married man retires to his home to av the urge settled by his wife people like you and I resort to our girlfriends and in a situation whereby we've pledged to keep our innocence till we get married,Vaseline becomes our new companion.
    Its obvious u expose yourself to stuffs that brings sex to your mind such as pillow chat with your boo,late night calls with your her,she visiting u and leaving u wet after a Frencher,things u view on the tv and net,materials you read etc.
    My brother the solutions are.
    U get the pleasure u need from your girlfriend,believe me this will help you stop the case of mastubating at the workplace and with the believe u will get it from your girlfriend later,u can even wait for week. But this will make you go contrary to what u vowed.
    Secondly,stay away from above listed stuffs that brings sex to mind,even your girlfriend. I know this won't be easy but try.
    Lastly pray yourself out.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/13/2013

      Bona onu ike gi o heal go,akwuna nwoke

      Delete
  4. I once had an addiction(something else, not porn) This year, I promised God that I would never go back to doing such again and indeed, we are in May and I am still keeping the faith.
    Resilience, courage, faith and the ability to stand up and face the challenge is all if not the most important of all.
    Ask yourself these questions:
    1. Do I want to stop this?
    2. Will I be given a second chance if I die today and face judgement?
    3. Do I really want to be a better person?
    Sometimes, addiction can be cured through another addiction. For instance, for every time you want to watch porn, you could pick up the Bible and spend hours reading it at intervals just the way you watch porn. Keep off from browsing irrelevant sites and if you have nothing meaningful to browse, avoid opening your browser.
    Pray hard and mean what you say in prayers. Prayer is the raising up of our minds and hearts to God, we must try hard to mean every word we say in prayer. Tell God you want to stop it.
    I do not set my standards on the way people will react if they see me do things that I am not supposed to do. Who knows? They could be doing the same thing or worse. I rather think of how God will react whenever I keep repeating the things I had promised to stay away from.
    Remember, no human is above mistakes, we fall a million times but the one time we rise, makes us realize the conquerors we are through Christ.

    http://senoritathelagoschick.blogspot.com/
    http://lifeofaveryfunkynaijateenager.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/13/2013

      Chocolates? pls spill

      Delete
  5. Anonymous5/13/2013

    My dear brother, the only thing u ve to do is pray and also fast the devil will nt want u to stop so kip praying and whenever the urge comes,u resist the devil. James 4:7 says Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.It is well my brother but u ve to always pray and read ur Bible.It shall be well with u.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Get psychological help, like any other addiction, 99% chances u can't overcome this on your own, u shld also tell ur pastor and let him advice u.
    But on ur own; firstly, block all the porn sites you visit from ur computer/phone
    And wake up every morning telling urself you can do it.
    A word from the females:
    We r tottally turned off by guys who r addicted to porn/masturbation,
    We know its human nature to do this things once in a while but an addiction to them is very worrisome, get help.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi dear, I have no expertise in addictions, but I will refer you to a link I just saw via google. I think you will find the steps listed on how to overcome porn addiction really helpful. Visit:

    www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/overcome-porn-addiction/

    And don't forget to never stop praying. All the best!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous5/13/2013

    I think u shud tel ur fiance abt it..she wont dump u cos of dat cos it tkes luv and courage to admit to it...u dnt nid to feel ashamed.tel her so she cn support u to quit d habit.no one is perfect. .telin her wud make u accountable for ur actions.u cn pray abt it together..its nt an easy habit to break but with prayer nd right support u cn achieve it..dnt think less of ursef nd be determined to stop..God help I

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lol... Bonario, I was so looking for ur comment.... You know why na *winks*

    Anyway, poster, by strength shall no man prevail. Are you born again? Are you filled with the Spirit? Do you speak in tongues?

    If yes to all those then renew your mind daily. Buy christian messages and put them on replay. Read the bible and meditate on it. Search for scriptures on addiction and possession (not that I am saying you are possessed o..before my best friends eat me raw :-) ) but scriptures on it can help ur situation.

    Whenever the urge comes, speak in tongues and ask the Holy Spirit to strengthen you. Remove your self from situations that arouse you, maybe leave ur office door open, spend time outside more and dnt forget to keep a xtian message or gospel music on replay cos it's difficult to open a porn site when Bishop Oyedepo or Pastors Adeboye and Chris are talking.

    Porn and masturbation addiction is worse than we think and very hard to overcome. I once heard the testimony of Kirk Franklin on how for many years he was singing gospel music and preaching but could not over come it. Even while he was married and having constant sex with his wife, he couldnt. Even when he went offline, the images stored in his brain were enough to make him masturbate. And the internet is not helping matters.
    Google his story and you'll learn something.

    Depending on how ur fiancee thinks, telling her of ur addiction might actually help. She might pray with you and help you check it. But if you know she cant stand it, dnt tell her o. Test her first with stories of a friend who is addicted and see her reaction

    Lastly, when you fall, dnt beat urself up, dust urself and strive harder. God will not condemn you for falling, He sees your heart and is telling you,“ I love you and want the best for you. It breaks my heart to see you stumble. Take My hand son, you can do it!"

    All the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/13/2013

      Madam that Bonario stuff was unnessary stop courting controversies

      Delete
    2. Anon plz leave Ahdaisy alone.

      ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

      Delete
    3. Anonymous5/13/2013

      Useless nkpi,what a loss

      Delete
    4. Bona u and this ur china suit that u take turn to wear with ur nephew

      Delete
  10. i advise you to get a book by bishop david oyedepo...........overcoming controlling powers, it would help a long way. pornography fuels masturbation and very addictive, trust me when i say marriage wouldn't stop it, many marriages have been destroyed bcos of this.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous5/13/2013

    When God sees ur effort He will come in. I had a friend who stopped smoking almost overnight(exaggerated )i know him not dat i was told. It was d help of the Holy Spirit.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous5/13/2013

    Madam ahdaisy we don hear, but why didn't u tell us about ur own addiction and how u overcame it? Cos dis one na porno abi? Thanx 4 d advice anyways.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/13/2013

      Gbamest!

      Delete
    2. Stop hating and grow up madams,i think monique's tips for advisers and aprokos like u guys will help. tufiakwa unu.

      Delete
    3. sister5/13/2013

      Abi ooooo she get experience for every story

      Delete
    4. Anonymous5/13/2013

      Una must talk sha.....fools oshi

      Delete
    5. Anonymous5/14/2013

      Retards.....keep doing this and I don't see you guys making heaven...at all!!! Btw, this is not Ahdaisy.

      Delete
  13. Anonymous5/13/2013

    I'm even scared for you because at my workplace the IT department keeps tabs on all sites visited and if you open porn at work and it's found out, you can be fired.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Johnson5/13/2013

    I will take a rider from here… At my office, and I sure most multinational companies, the IT department keeps tab of every website you visit.
    What would this addiction do to you?
    1. Make you lose your job
    2. Break up your marriage
    3. Send you to HELL…
    The first thing you need to appreciate are the consequences of this habit – all NEGATIVE!
    This demonic act is not caused by not having sex before marriage as some might think. If it were, it would have stopped it after you had the license to abundant sex when you got married.
    Taking a clue from the film FIREPROOF, only sincere relationship with Jesus would here. He is the only one that can take this wicked spirit away. You cannot be saved and still be indulging in this act as the bible says that God is able to save completely those that come to Him. If you think you are born again, you need to get born again again! This one will not answer to prayer without absolute surrender and repentance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Johnson5/13/2013

      ***relationship with Jesus would help.

      Delete
  15. Creamberry5/13/2013

    yeah i think you should see that movie FIREPROOF.if u're willing, it should have some sort of impact on you.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous5/13/2013

    My Dear dis is my two cents!
    Surrender it to God in prayer, u cannot do it on ur own,u CANNOT!!
    Acknowledge d fact dat u can't do it on ur own, its quite obvious anyway!
    Get dis book, Destined to Reign by Joseph Prince. Read it and confess d fact dat "You are d Righteousness of God in Christ Jesus"
    Believe dat Christ love u and Confess it like 200 times a day!
    Even wen u fail, don't stop confessing it!
    D lord is ur muscle Bro! He will help u am sure!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous5/13/2013

    Please stop hitting on Adhaisy, it is so immature. Talk your own and let the matter rest.

    ReplyDelete
  18. captain mary5/14/2013

    Mehn, y dis so much hatred towards adhaisy? U are only making her stronger everyday, jus give up dis hatred pls, its no longer funny. This place used to b very peaceful until of recent wen sum pple started acting funny n weird wit dia hateful comments towards each oda. We learn a lot frm dis blog, pls let peace reign pls.God knows how unhappy iam right now#sadface#

    As for the poster, pls get sum spitritual materials and try to avoid such sites. God will see u through.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous5/17/2013

    Hi. Ask the Holy spirit to Renew your mind. He would help you get over the habit. And learn to distract your self with other things. You will get over it.

    ReplyDelete

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