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How Do I Handle This Breakup?

Good morning Aunty Eya.
 I hope you enjoyed the holiday yesterday? Aunty Eya please I need help on how to handle a break up that wasn't messy. We had to split due to some reasons(confidential) but we aren't fighting we are still best friends,we'v been told not to fight, but later on, I don't want his wife to
call me names and I want to always talk to him.

He is my best friend,he is the only one I can turn to when am in trouble aside God,I don't want to lose the friendship we have. I need advice on how to handle it right now.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld from Glo Mobile.

Comments

  1. Johnson5/30/2013

    Very little info is provided… will need to answer some questions to help put likely solution(s) into proper perspective:
    1. Was the breakup before he got married… will not delve into the reason (though that would help)?
    2. Obviously his wife knows you… who told you not to fight?
    This is not a healthy relationship – being best friend with a married man… haba – wetin u want!
    The best way to handle this is to let him go – free this man. This whole thing can only lead to TROUBLE. Whatever you admire about this man can be taken away by the One who gave it… There is someone God has designed specifically for you and if you continue this way, you will loss all.

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    Replies
    1. Aunty Eya thanks for posting it. Bt pple tink he Is married,he isn't married he is still single just like I am. He says he wnts us to b friends forever,I jz need on how to do that,I dnt wnt anytin to be affected like his marriage or mine. And the break up is tearing me apart,I need advice on things I can do to make me forget about everything at least a bit,I pray all the time about it too. Thanks.

      Delete
    2. I suspect this the same lady that sent in a post about how they prophesied to her that her 8years(or so) relationship won't end in a good marriage.
      If you are the one then I tell you one thing "You Can't Eat Your Cake And Have It". Since you followed prophecy, better follow it fully and leave the young man to be.
      If you ain't, I still advise that the earlier the better. Best friends forever ko best friends forever ni, you'll be there turning into Ogbono soup and one day when he finally meets another girl he wants to marry he will turn raw cassava for you. Since you've confidentially broken up, why not mourn it(just a little as it seems you're overly on it), move on and don't hate on the past.
      I advice you to just cut it off NOW coz if this guy marries and you start this "keeping in touch" thing, his wife might deal with you and know ye this day that it is a form of adultery coz you guys will be relating based on the feelings you had and not as mere friends.
      I believe if we Sincerely learn and practice putting ourselves in other peoples shoes, we won't ask or do certain things. How happy will you be when you marry a man and he's still attached to his Ex?

      Delete
  2. Anonymous5/30/2013

    You don't have to sleep with a man before it is being called adultery.there is emotional adultery.once I read the word married I lost interest.you have no business being best friends with a married man. You cannot want to talk to him every time.it is wrong and you know it. What you sow is what you reap in this life.so leave a married man alone no matter the history. God is your best friend. Because man can fail you. If your next best friend cannot be a fellow woman, a single man, your mother your brother or sister then leave it.cos if that married woman rains curses on you or prays to God you will forget how fast this man is your "best friend". If he is the one chasing you or calling you run for forty and don't look back.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/31/2013

      cool. i love this blog cos we av matured mind in here and the most interesting thing is that we come out as blunt as possible that some people tends to learn indirectly from other people's challenges.keep the flag flying.

      Delete
  3. Aunty Eya I luv d blog new look.

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  4. Babe.. You are still in love, come off it.

    You don't need anything from him, nothing absolutely. His wife will fume, you will fume, trouble will exist if you keep ur self in this corner-kick condition you want to be in.

    Even ur hubby will get mad if he get's winds of ur communications with him, you won't be able to love ur hubby like you should if you continue this way, you won't even let urself find love again.

    Plz move on, and turn to God for help not him. Ur future man myt be way better if you'll calm it and let him!

    Nuff'Said

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  5. Gloexcel5/30/2013

    Sweetheart, i fink u need 2 tak a bow frm ds relationship b4 som1 get hurt. It may likely b u. I kw wat it means 4 som married men wantin 2 take refuge where they r nt expected 2.Put urself in his wife's shoes n u will realize dat u dnt have 2 help a man cheat on his wife no matter wat. This best frnd of urs ll also block ur chance of meetin single guyz who may want 2 strt somfin wit u. I also fink u shuld b careful 4 ur own sake cos u dnt kw wat d wife is capable of,pple r wicked ds days.

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  6. My husband & his ex remained friends even after we got married. She was calling everyday. Sms upon sms. D day i couldn't take it anymore, i got her number from his phone, gave her a call & u can bet it wasn't 2 say hi. Let d guy be so u can find someone new & better.

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  7. sister5/31/2013

    My dear if were that guys wife u will be six feet underground consider urself lucky msewwww feel free to reply if u ger d liver

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  8. sister5/31/2013

    Ve u not heard what God has joined together let no man put asunder.u are very lucky that man is not my husband u for don dey limp seriously

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  9. The man is married and you have to respect the sanctity of marriage. The fact that he refused to honour his vows doesn't mean you should be the one to help him break them.
    IMO the least of your worries should be about the wife calling you names. What if she hurts you? What if she curses you? What if she publicly embarasses you? Your relationship with him is just wrong on so many levels.
    End it with him asap, pray for forgiveness and move on. Don't make yourself the reason another woman doesn't have a happy home.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous5/31/2013

    U pple should read very well before replying na! She said she just broke up, they both are still single, but she is worried cos they are still very close and the man said he wants them to remain best friends. Her concern is about the future, when they both get married, she doesn't want d future wifey wahala? Poster am I right? But here's my advice to you.... You aren't married, he isn't married, why are u taking drugs for an ailment that hasn't attacked you yet na? By d time he gets mrried, u too wld be so in love with someone else that he will be d least of ur worries! Wen u get to that river, abeg cross it.

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    Replies
    1. sister5/31/2013

      Ewoooo so sorry 4 d mix up I definitely need a reading glasses,poster no vex ooooo u will not limp nor be six feet underground ooooo btw y did u guys break up?

      Delete
    2. Sorry! I just read the update.
      The initial post caused the mix up, cause she said she didn't want his wife calling her names.
      Sorry for the mixup.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous5/31/2013

      @sister fuck off,am gonna run u off this blog and d blog beggar mrs B ahda pls let's team off don't forget what that bitch sister said to u .all of a sudden sister just repented and u all accepted her back as if nothing happened.same on u all

      Delete
    4. @anon, you are a bitter soul, may God help u.
      @Poster, please dont allow that man block your prince charming from coming. You cant marry and yet he wants your friendship for life? That one na wetin Igbo people dey call 'okwu na-eso akuko'

      Delete
    5. Run you off, blog beggar, etc. Anon, you need serious help

      Delete
  11. Whether he's married or not, ex na ex. All dis 'friends 4eva' bullshit is not right. I dont think any man will be happy if his new babe introduces her ex as best friend 2 him. If u dont cut off from him u might neva be ready 2 move on. Dont let him deceive u cos i assure u he will be d first 2 introduce one hot chick 2 u as his new babe. Then ur eye will clear. Better use ur head & not ur heart.

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  12. joyce edos5/31/2013

    Dear poster please forget this best friends issue and move on.because if u have him to always talk to everyday,he also always call you everyday to know how you are doing,you will be too comfortable to give another guy the chance to love you and even if you finally do give another guy the chance,you might start comparing the care and love he as for you with the one your ex has for u. And even when you have issues in your new relationship you will always run to your ex to complain and seek for advise. And for every little thing ur new guy will do you will easily flame up because your have never done that to you or because you have your ex who is now your best friend that you can report to or run to or or complain to. So please move on since your reason for the break up is reasonable to you. God will make you find your new guy or hubby who will be more than just a best friend. I feel your pain

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  13. I dey surprise for some girls dis days, single guys full every where. Wat are u still looking for in a married man? Jesus is alive, you refused to make Him yr best friend. You have relations neighbours , non of dem are qualify to be yr best friend except dis guy. wen u don see wetin u dey find, dat time u go embrace Jesus. Best friend ko, best friend ni.

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  14. Anonymous5/31/2013

    i understand how you feel was actually in a similar situation. well he is married and he is my best friend etc. sex was great but u ought to know when it's over, we try as much as possible to avoid each oda but when we see which we hardly do, sex just comes in to play , the sex is always so amazing etc. so one day i sat my self down was looking at the mirror and spoke to my self and said this isn't what i want for my self asked God for guidance and well it worked so far. PLS I AM NT ASKING FOR ANYONE'S COMMENT ON THIS'. Thanks

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  15. I think you are worrying about future scenarios that you really have no control over. Just take the break up one day at a time, you probably will eventually meet someone that will take his place and one day when ur happily married to some great guy who will be ur new best friend all this will be a memory you look back at.
    Cheers

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  16. Anonymous6/01/2013

    Poster: Just let go and move on. Its people like you that cause issues between married folks. I had the same problem with my husband. He seemed to be overly attached to some girl and it took serious quarelling, parents etc to break them apart. Move ON! And for some reason I think u changed mouth when people attacked you on the 'wife' issue. Seems to me the guy is married.

    ReplyDelete

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