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He's Verbally Abusive

Hi Aunty Eya.  
I need advice. Bin datin dis guy. Kind of long distance. We had a fight. But we've resolved it. I don't know why I feel empty. Feel like I am not
loved by him even though he claims 2. But he says hurtful things.

 Let me just say he's verbally abusive. N wen he starts 2 "misbehave" I just ignore him. N wen his head comes down, he apologizes. Am crazy about him and all but I feel EMPTY deep inside. I don't know why. I cry my eyes out whenever I feel this way. 

Does any1 know what I can do 2 make this emptiness go away? 
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone provided by Airtel Nigeria.

Comments

  1. Anonymous5/27/2013

    Sister my thinking is that you are on the wrong side of relationship. first you must be sure you are not getting on his nerves by doing nasty this, no man loves to be disrespected. but if you respect your guy and submit to him yet he still abuse you verbally, its a sign he will abuse you physically when you get married to him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/27/2013

      I submit 2 him n respect him. Even wen he insults me I don't respond. Cos I don't blv in exchanging words. I try not 2 get on dis nerves but its like he njoys bin abusive.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous5/27/2013

      Believe me you will find one will truly love you. I don't want to paint words here, please back out, its up to you.

      Delete
    3. Abeg oh submission wetin? You guys are still dating or is it courting and you are already submitting?

      As far as I'm concerned, the only time the Bible talks about submission is in the area of marriage-"WIVES submit to your HUSBAND..." I didn't see GIRLFRIEND submit to your BOYFRIEND.

      Na wa for the kain advice person dey read so. As far as I'm concerned, when a man and a woman are dating/courting, they are operating at the same wavelength but once marriage comes into play, it's a whole different ball game!

      Delete
  2. Do you think this is the type of relationship u deserve?
    Is he the type of man u desire?
    Has it ever occured to u that he maybe violent,if not for the distance between the both of you?
    your guess is as good as mine.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/27/2013

      @ bonario,I wnt say it hasn't occurred 2 me. He's a nice guy no doubt. But d only problem I hav wit him is his "tongue"

      Delete
    2. Anonymous5/27/2013

      I use 2 hve a relatnshp like dis. Even till d extend dat he will abuse my mum but u no wat I surprise him by breaking up with him.

      Delete
  3. Do you think this is the type of relationship u deserve?
    Is he the type of man u desire?
    Has it ever occured to u that he maybe violent,if not for the distance between the both of you?
    your guess is as good as mine.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

    ReplyDelete
  4. Johnson5/27/2013

    When you don’t feel loved, you’re probably not…
    Your feeling empty could either be due to the fact that you have been used or you are being disrespected – you’ve been taken undue advantage of.
    Find a way out of this relationship as quick as possible and take learnings from it. God will give you someone who will appreciate & respect you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/27/2013

      Hi Johnson, sumtimes I wana walk out wen he behaves like dat. But like I told bonario, he's a nyc guy, its just dat his tongue nids 2 b tamed.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous5/27/2013

      Please there's nothing nice about this guy, if you ignore this "red light" i pray you don't get married and be praying to be single again. if you love yourself please flee to the mountain and don't look back.

      Delete
  5. Dearie r u doin anytin @ d moment?(Lyk workin or biz)??? If no,u shud find smth 2 do cos being idle,u get 2 tink of him n all he does 2 u a lot bt wen u'r working u tink less of his shit. U shud stand up 4 urself,let him knw dat u r nt one 2 b taken 4 a fool,make him knw dat u wnt take his insults anymore n mean it. Giv him a long break if he insults u again,he myt get d message n if he rily likes u,he'l change.(Hopefully)

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/27/2013

      Hi Ella, yes am workin. D gud tin is it doesn't affect my work. I hav tried givin him a break n it works. But den he goes bak 2 dat nasty behaviour. I pray 4 him 2 change, not 4 me but 4 himself.

      Delete
    2. My dear snc u said u'v given him a break n it worked bt went bk 2 it again den I shud u shud use ur tongue 2 count ur teeth. I dnt knw abt u bt 4 me,d reason y I go in2 any relationship is 2 find a frnd,a brother,sm1 I can play wit,tink of @ anytym tym of d day n smile knwing dat I'm hapi wit such a person. In ur case,wen u tink of him u feel sad ryt? So d aim of being in a relationship is defeated. So babe use ur own hand advice yasef. On anoda note,if a man truly loves u,he'l neva say a single bad word 2 u,he wnt even tink of it cos he loves u. Iv been in a relationship for over a year nw n iv neva heard my man say 2 me dat I'm stupid,its nt lyk we dnt hv issues,we do bt we neva insult eachoda. Oh babe u deserve 2 b hapi ok?. All d best darlyn.

      Delete
  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  7. And he's just a boyfren? So what are you still doing with him? I hope you know he isn't going to change? And I hope you know that you are damaging yourself by allowing him treat you this way? I hope you know he will be worse in marriage?

    Please, he didn't create you and he didn't give birth to you or give you your life. So, why are you allowing him to have this whole authority to treat you however he wants? To be in a relationship with just anyone isn't by force. You won't die if you leave him. I won't even preach that it's what you do that causes it, because some men just like being abusive. Mostly when they see the girl doesn't really know who she is and she doesn't know her worth. It's nothing about you changing your attitude except you want to become more like a 'mumu'.

    If you knew your worth, you'd have taken a walk a long time ago. Appreciate yourself, love yourself, work on yourself, get close to the lover of your soul (God) and you will see that there are so many beautiful men out there that will treat you right. Free yourself abeg. Know your worth.

    And PLEASE, stop giving excuses for him cos I see you doing a lot of "he's a nice guy, his tongue just needs to be tamed". Ask women who have endured abuses. That's how they kept on giving excuses for the guy and hoping that he would change. Don't worry, na from clap dem dey enter dance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/27/2013

      Hi Jay, I've read ur comment (n evry1). I've also tot abt it n yeah it mite luk like I hav a low self esteem but I knw wats rite n wats gud 4 me. Its true dat I've bin makin xcuses 4 him. But I won't do dat anymore. I'm goin 2 back out of dis "relationship" I guess I wuz scared of bin alone but like I said I've tot abt it. I'd rada b alone n b hapi dan b in a relationship n b miserable. Tnx a lot u all 4 d advice.

      Delete
  8. Duchess5/27/2013

    Get a grip already! Trust me, that dude has one babe somewhere that he respects. You are going up and down giving excuses for him? Verbal abuse is worse than a python bite... Ve been there sweetie, walked out with my head high and the guy was begging me with tears. LOL. Today, I'm proud i did cos I'm so much happier!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/27/2013

      Hi Duchess, like I told Jay, I've decided 2 walk out of d relationship. Beta 2 b single n b hapi dan in a relationship n miserable. Tnx 4 d advise.

      Delete
    2. Johnson5/27/2013

      You won't regret this decision..., and there's nothing wrong with being single (that's what u are when not married!). Get busy and the right guy will come - sooner than you expect.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous5/27/2013

      @ Johnson, tnx n Amen.

      Delete
  9. If he is nice why asking for our opinion. He is nice yet you feel empty. People with experience dey advise u, u ar stil singing his praises, if u dey work my kind of work, u no go fit think of a man dat is abusive. You ar loving him now bcos he is stil verbal by d time it will manifest to physical and action, no b person go tell mad man say war don start.
    If u love yrself u better end it, and focuse on better and profitable thing b4 it is too late.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous5/27/2013

    Its d verbal abuse dat has killed ur spirit. Verbal abuse has neva been good 4 anyone's self esteem. U keep quiet when he abuses u but hv u tot of wat wld happen d day he will say smth u cant bear & u talk back. He will graduate 2 physical abuse & of course he will apologise after pounding u. My dear when u r in love wit some1 & d person loves u in return, u r not supposed 2 feel empty. U need 2 leave his abusive arse cos u cant change him. U'll find some1 who will fill dat space wit love.
    YUCEE.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous5/27/2013

    Talk back n see wat happens
    he wl definitely hit u
    use dt as an excuse t run away

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous5/27/2013

    Hi Eya, tnx 4 publishing my story. N 2 u all, tnx a lot 4 d advice. Appreciate it a lot. I'm goin 2 end it. Wana hav peace of mind. Will also use dis opportunity 2 draw close 2 God. Tanx 1ce again.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Babe, please take time to read this link and learn from others: http://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2013/05/domestic-violence-dairy.html?m=0#more

    In addition, I'll encourage you to talk with your mom. Pour your heart to her and hear what she has to say. All the best!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous5/28/2013

    Now dats wat i cal a lady with self respect....c aw she appreciated comments even when dey were against her. Not dat mad woman dat insulted n embarrased herself.
    My dear don't worry u will be fine, been single isn't d worst tin infact dats wat u r bfr marriage.
    I walked out of an abusive relationship and i dint date for close to 2yrs. Now am in d best relationship ever...am saying ds so dt u wudnt think dt u can't meet a nice guy out der.
    *hugs

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous5/28/2013

      @ Anon 7:28, lol @ mad woman. Well I asked 4 advice rite? *smiles* . I knw I'll b fine. Baba God dey my side. *smiles* I appreciate d fact dat u all tuk ur time 2 respond 2 my mail. God bless u all.

      Delete
  15. Anonymous5/28/2013

    I av dated a boy like dis 2..Olaitan Akinbobola nice but very wen it cmes 2 abusing verbally he carry 1st!abegi run o dose kind of pple will beat u up 1day#word*

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous5/28/2013

    beta leave him now!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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