HELP I HAVE ANGER ISSUES

Aunty Eya, thanks for an opportunity like this. God bless u ma'am. please kindly help me post this.
 Please fellow WC readers, I have

a big problem with containing the extent of my anger when I'm angry. I know this is a very bad spirit, especially as I am female, a wife for that matter.

To be sincere, naturally I am calm,easy going, reserved. In fact I am slow to get angry, but the problem is when I eventually get angry, it's an explosive one, to the extreme, I say very harsh words, I throw things sometimes;  in fact people who witness it or d person I'm  angry at gets shocked at my action and are like. "Isn't this that quiet lady?"....  Immediately after the event, I feel this terrible remorse, I hate myself and wished it never happened in the first place. I cry profusely.....

Growing up my siblings knew this about me and stay away from offending me but now I'm married, working, I get in contact with different kinds of persons, I get to still show this side of me atimes.

My husband knows I have this problem and he has been my greatest support and tries to help me out of it. I am better now but it's not gone completely. It happened again recently with my neighbor (Troublesome neighbor I must say). I want it totally out of me. I am not a bad person. Yes, it's allowed to get angry but not to do extreme like I do.

This issue has constantly been a prayer point in my heart. I don't like this bad spirit, the Bible condemns it, it's a sin.

I need to work on myself, I don't want to be Incredible Hulk; I want people to always see me the way I really am and not be like " no o, wait till u see her angry"..  Also, I haven't started having kids(recently married), I don't want my children to see this aspect of me when they eventually come by God's grace. I want to show more love to people, not hatred.
 Please, Please, I need help on how to work on myself..  Thanks.

Comments

  1. Anonymous5/03/2013

    Firstly, when things annoy U dont pile them up, U either overlook it and leave it there or U wait till when U r no longer angry and calmly talk about it.
    For me, I used to brood a lot over things but not get angry, but it makes me get extremely annoyed at the slightest unnecessary provocation, thanks to all the issues I piled up in my mind initially.
    I dont throw things though, but I m working on myself to learn to overlook things, talk things over when I m in a calm state of mind (not necessarily with the provoking agent) and also leave the scene of provocation.
    All the best!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. creamberry5/03/2013

    My dear pray,pray,and pray,av been there before and know what it is like,it's a spirit and it steals from you.I've lost several relationships,casual and intimate ones.it rides on you and leaves you to die of guilt.for me I prayed and fasted and also worked towards,in that there are some issues and some people I don't allow get to me.forgiveness is key too,u can also talk to a counsellor cos I did same too.and you will surely get result if u truly desire change,cos I can say my life is a testimony of a changed life.all the best.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous5/03/2013

    you need to read books on anger management, i had dat prob too but not as urs, but after reading the writeup, i found out the type of anger i had, the reasons behind the anger and its control. it worked to the glory of God. try it. the first step to anger management is identification of its presence which uve done. my dear, it would pass but it needs a lot of practice and determination. it is well...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous5/03/2013

    Madam, u need to stil be more prayerful. I was like dat too but not to d extent of throwing things. Now dat am marrid wth kids, had to mellow alot through his grace, else u wud be termd as a wicked mum. D lord is ur strength.
    EIS

    ReplyDelete
  5. My two cents:

    I have discovered it doesn't help to bottle up emotions but rather deal with issues in the calmest manner you can manage when such crops up. Bottling things up builds up internal pressure which on explosion would not leave savoury effects.

    You may try addressing this issue prayerfully, confess positively to yourself.
    Do not allow anger to rule you or ruin things.

    Make conscious efforts to remain calm even when you feel like exploding, talk rather than yelling; you may also take a long walk to clear your head in 'hot' situations.

    God will help you in dealing with and overcoming this.

    Cheers.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Maybe you should develop a mantra or confession or something like that. I get angry easily too, especially when someone I did nothing to decides to relieve their stress on my head. (But not to the point of throwing things, I love my stuffs too much) Lol.

    The bible says, the fruit of the spirit (recreated human spirit) is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, Gentleness, self control. It means that once you are born again, you already have all these. You just have to bring them out.

    My confession sometimes is “I have love, I am full of joy, I live in perpetual peace, I am patient, I am kind, I am Good-natured, I am faithful, I am Gentle and I have self control".

    Or

    I refuse to be angry, I will not get angry, anger has no control over me. I am calm, I am at peace...

    I say these over and over again, then after a while, the anger goes away. The truth is sometimes if I am still near the person or in that place (or post :-) ), the anger is difficult to overcome so the best thing to do first, is to remove yourself from the situation. leave the place and avoid the person till you are calm enough to face the person without anger.

    It doesn't just go away like that sha...you just have to pray and keep working on it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. i was and a little bit still like that but i'm praying about it and making a conscious effort to overcome it. like Ahdaisy wrote, i keep telling myself that i refuse to be angry and will not let anger control me. i stammer a bit and people said being hot tempered is one characteristics of stammerers but i refuse to believe that for myself.
    I've learnt to overlook things and come across as stupid or too weak even though i'm not than come across as aggressive and violent and its working for me. Also, i thank God i don't bottle up anger. if i can't let it out at that point, i let it go cos i don't know how to store up anger or quarrel.

    So my dear poster, keep praying about it and make a conscious effort not to let the anger control you. We are in charge and have dominion over our emotions and not the other way round. Try as much as possible to ignore and overlook things. God will see you through, Amen

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous5/03/2013

    Thanks everyone. I think the summary of what u all have said is I walk away from the provocation and address d issue when I might hv cooled down. I will try to always rember that.
    About the throwing of things,that was way back in secondary school(about 12yrs ago), hasn't repeated its ugly head again, was only tryin to illustrate d extent to which I have gone before.
    I appreciate all ur advices. Thanks. Thanks Anty Eya too.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous5/03/2013

    Thanks everyone. I think the summary of what u all have said is I walk away from the provocation and address d issue when I might hv cooled down. I will try to always rember that.
    About the throwing of things,that was way back in secondary school(about 12yrs ago), hasn't repeated its ugly head again, was only tryin to illustrate d extent to which I have gone before.
    I appreciate all ur advices. Thanks. Thanks Anty Eya too.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous5/04/2013

    There's only one thing to do. Accept Jesus. That's all. ђǝ̥̥ takes away anger a̶̲̥̅̊ñ̷̊D̶̲̥̅̊ feels ur heart with love. Old things turn away a̶̲̥̅̊ñ̷̊D̶̲̥̅̊ becomes new. There Ȋ̝̊̅§ nothing like anger management. Jesus Ȋ̝̊̅§. The only ans. Ʊ can't have him I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ Ʊ a̶̲̥̅̊ñ̷̊D̶̲̥̅̊ try t̲̣̣̥O̶̲̥̅̊ manage anger.
    Vicky

    ReplyDelete
  11. I think a lot of improvement comes through age - I find I am able to walk away from an argument now that in my twenties I never could. I suppose experience comes with age and you are more capable of judging. Good luck,
    Annie

    ReplyDelete

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