A Test Of True Friendship?


Hi sis Eya,
Please help out a fellow blogger. I've had this on my mind for a couple of weeks now and I've decided to bring it here rather than on my blog because frankly it might not get any comments over there :-)

I have a friend who is at a low point in her life at the moment. She hasn't told me anything about it but I somehow found out. I don't want to go into details. Initially I tried calling her just to chat and to see if she would open up, but she didn't so I let her be.
 
For about 2 weeks now I've been trying to get in touch with her but she seems to have cut off all communication, no texts, phone calls or anything.
 
I understand her need to be alone 'cos I'm quite a private person myself. My question is:
 
-Should I stop trying to contact her and wait until she's ready to talk or should I continue trying to reach her?
 
- If I decide to stop won't I seem uncaring?
 
Thanks.

Comments

  1. I think you should still continue to communicate and locate her! Whatever is wrong may be way bigger than what you suspect. And we all need love and friends around us. Wherever she is may God keep her

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Deborah. The point is that it is not possible to communicate with her as she has stopped answering calls or texts, even deleted her FB acc. We live very far apart in different cities.

      Delete
  2. Anonymous5/03/2013

    If she hasn't told you anything how would it seem uncaring? Well everyone has their own way of going through a hard situation, and as a friend you can only do so much.
    But have you tried visiting her? At least you can try all that and if it fails just remember her in your prayers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes she hasn't told me anything personally but this is someone I usually speak to at least weekly. Even though she no longer answers her phone or returns calls I'm wondering if I shd just keep trying so she'll at least be seeing my missed calls.

      We live several hrs apart in different cities. I do pray for her. Thanks.

      Delete
  3. I agree wit d 11:39 Anonymous...try seeing her physically n always pray 4 her...

    Or, Ʊ may be her problem n she is not just bold enough 2 tell Ʊ...*wide grin*

    Seeing her in person wil go a long way 2 clear ur doubts

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol! No I'm the least of her problems :-) it's a bit sensitive so I can't share here.

      Like I've said b4 it's not possible for me to visit her at the moment cos we live very far apart. I have to wait until I'm on holiday.

      Delete
  4. Hi Virtuosity, please try and see her. If she is not yet ready to talk, do not push it. Just make yourself available. Let her feel your presence even if you are not talking about that matter.

    She hasn't told you anything herself, you heard from someone. Avoid going to her place to accuse her of not letting you in. Try as much as possible to avoid bringing up that matter with her. Allow things to happen naturally. She may have cut you off because she is not in the talking mood yet. When I am not happy, I like to just be by myself which is not the best anyway. Be very observant around her and look for ways you can help.

    Avoid going to start laying blames or talking in harsh tones, you know she is not happy, so, do not make it worse OK?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi sis Eya. I have to wait until my holiday period b4 I can see her as it involves travelling.

      I've no intention of starting a quarel with her cos it's nothing personal and I'm not the only one she's cut off. All her friends are affected.

      It's quite sad.

      Delete
  5. Just keep calling her, even if she doesn't pick, at least she seed your calls and knows you are worried or do I say concerned. Give her time for now and don't visit yet, she would come back eventually.
    Let me also add that you send her reassuring text messages, telling her she has a friend in you and in Jesus, remind her of God's presence with her in isiah63:9. Troubled days don't last..................Time heals wounds.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My worry is that if I keep calling I might come across as nosey, and if I don't I'll appear uncaring!

      Hmmm...!
      Maybe an occasional text as u suggested. Thanks.

      Delete
  6. Then she probably wants to be left alone for now. It happens. She probably just wants to deal with the issue alone. At times, it's like that. Mostly if she feels you can't help her with her situation and she's better off dealing with it alone.

    Now you have tried but you can't force it because she clearly needs some alone time. But hopefully, I think she will pull through. Just keep praying for her. Try and text her to reassure her that you'd always be there for her no matter what it is that might have happened to her for her to have cut you all off and ignore your calls.

    She would read your messages and know you care. Reassure her in the messages that you'd always be there in case she needs someone to talk to.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dear Virtuosiy, I think is right to show how much you care about her by sending her encouraging text messages during her time of distress just like LNC mentioned above. I suggest that if you ever try to send her this message atleast twice then try calling her again, and believe me, she would certainly respond to your calling for sure! Among all, assist her in prayer too. Goodluck.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous5/04/2013

    May be u shld send her an inspiration text mesage,so as soon as she turn on her phone she will get them all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Will give that a try, thanks.

      Delete
  9. So sad the African spirit does not believe in over persistence, doggedness and true zeal... But experience shows that this is the driving force for all the white man has brought to life.

    Let's keep trying even if we'll fail and do fail at it!
    @virtuosity, I want you to listen to this song by so you can advice her better. "Mary J Blige - Stay Down"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ace, listened to the song. Deep! Thanks.

      I'm not sure about ur 1st point tho'. You know how we are, when someone is deemed to be taking to much of an interest in anothers affairs they're labelled nosey or 'taking panadol for another's headache'!

      It's a fine line my brother!

      Delete
  10. Anonymous5/05/2013

    Funny enough,by my nature when I cut people off,it means I don't want to be "disturbed" or cared for @ that point in time....just stay away from me.I don't appreciate being bugged. @ all

    Ironically,my close friend was having deep marital issues,her husband moved out of the house &moved in with another girl..I found out&realized why she had been actin up&i tried reaching out.She cut me off&i stayed away..ffwd to years later.I told her what I knew&she was mad @ me for not trying hard enough to be there for her..our friendship hasn't remained the same afterwards

    Bottomline,it really depends on the type of person she is&only you will know for sure
    All d best ma

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for sharing ur experience. It shows there is usually more than one side to a story.

      Delete
  11. this is more like drawing attention.This poster practically has responses/answers to all questions!!!!!!!!!!!!haba!
    it goes a long way to tell me that you have the answer and solution.why then bring it here?i really cant get it.

    meanwhile,Anty Eya,am a regular visitor but dont always comment.xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On the contrary, I don't have all the answers. Just being polite to respond to pple that commented.

      My post may not be one of those complicated ones, but I did honestly want to guage responses to see if they tilted to a particular position.

      Anyway, it's great that my post has prompted u to comment. At least it's served one purpose.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Feel free to email us with comments, suggestions, recipe ideas, or pretty much anything!
Contact Email: cuulme@gmail.com

Most comments are by other blog readers. Always seek Professional Help First.
“As an Amazon Associate I earn a little commission when you shop from links placed on this blog.”

SHARE THIS POST

RELATED

SHOP HERE

BLOG VIEWS